Dance The Night Away...Please
By: Irony601@aol.com
Summary: Daria and Jane are suckered into Lawndale High's Dance Commitee, and
are badly in need of dates. I bet you can guess who comes to the rescue. . .
Quick notes: “Int” means interior, like inside a building. “Ext” means
exterior like outside of school.
Camera Shot-profile of Daria from the right. As she talks the shot revolves
around her head until stopping with a view of her left profile. Then as she
finishes speaking the person she’s talking to is revealed
Daria: ... After I gorge out my eyes, submerge them in water and freeze into
a giant ice cube to top off my cyanide spritzer... I’ll think about it.
Brittney: Well, do you think that will happen before or after cheerleading
tryouts?
Daria: I’ll have to consult my day planner.
Jane enters and walks towards Daria.
Jane: Dar-
Daria: (Smirks) I bet Jane here would like to.
Brittney: Good idea! Jane how would you like to be on the cheerleading
squad? (Handing Jane a cheerleading brochure from the bunch she is holding)
Jane: (Overly sarcastic) Yeah! Then I can suggest horizontal stripes on all
the uniforms!
Brittney screams and runs away throwing cheerleading brochures everywhere.
Jane: (innocently) Or maybe not? So you given any thought to who your going
to bring to the Sadie-Hawkins Dance?
Daria: Actually I’ve narrowed it down to Ernie and Bert.
Jane: Go with Bert. He’s more your size.
Daria: What about you? Any potential dates that don’t involve puppeteers?
Jane: Well... not anymore.
Daria: How did two intelligent people like us get sucked into Dance
Committee?
Jane: It was either that or the Lawndale High Gazette. I figure one night of
hell is more tolerable than a year of writing pure praise-the-school blather.
Daria: Yeah I guess. I would love to right a column about what this school
is really like, but it would never make it past the cutting room floor.
Although the paper would have it’s upsides.
Jane: (Sighs) Daria, there are no obituaries in the Gazette.
Daria: Damn.
Int-Mr. DeMartinos Class. The bold type is where his eye bugs out.
DeMartino: So would any you blunder heads have any brainless ideas about
themes for your insignificant little frill-fest?
Kevin and Brittney’s hands go up.
DeMartino: Any that don’t involve football?
Kevin slowly puts his arm down.
DeMartino: OR CHEERLEADING?
Brittney quickly retracts her hand.
Jodie: Maybe we could make it a 50’s theme... you know like a Sock Hop.
DeMartino: All in favor of a gruesome revival of a evil decade, raise your
hands.
Everyone but Jane and Daria raise their hands.
Jane and Daria: (thinking) DAMMIT.
Int- Morgendorffer kitchen
Quinn in mid-conversation with Helen
Quinn: -And then Jamie asked me after second period but Brian from first
period got totally mad so I can’t go with Jamie until the bandages are
removed-
Helen: Quinn, honey, isn’t the Sadie Hawkins Dance the one where the girls
ask the boys?
Quinn: Mo-om. It’s not my fault guys are attracted by my bouncy hair and
naturally cute nose.
Daria: (From the Kitchen table) Yeah... or that pimple on your forehead just
might have it’s own gravitational pull.
Quinn: PIMPLE! WHERE?! QUICK! GET ME A MIRROR! GET ME SOME ACNE CREAM!
GET ME A GUN!
Daria goes to the Kitchen drawer and gets a mirror... but not before using a
red marker to draw one, giant, red, dot. Then she hands it to the frantic
Quinn.
Helen: Quinn, honey settle down she’s just-
Quinn: (Interrupting) This better be a joke, Daria, or I’m going to-OH MY
GOD!! (She faints.)
Helen: (Looking at the mirror.) Daria, honestly, one of these days you’re
going to give Quinn a cardiac arrest.
Daria: (smiles) Promise?
Int- Daria’s Room
Daria is on the phone with Jane.
Int-Lane kitchen, where Jane is talking to Daria.
Daria: -And then she passed out. Actually, she’s still in a semi-coma on the
couch.
Jane: Wow. Well I guess your sisterly duties are complete for the day.
Daria: My duties will be complete when Quinn can’t stand up without soiling
herself.
Jane: Go for the gold, slugger.
Daria: So what are we going to do about this stupid dance. They won’t let us
in without dates.
Jane: Maybe you could pass as Antonio... my clever but crafty Italian boy
toy.
Daria: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that so I’ll be able to hold my
dinner.
Jane: Whatever floats your boat...(pauses, then says seductively) Antonio...
Daria: Haha... very funny. Got any other ideas that don’t involve me and
pantaloons?
Jane: Nope... I’m fresh out. Unless...
Daria: Uh oh... whenever you say “unless” like that I get goose bumps.
Jane: Unless... we got Trent and Jesse to go with us.
Daria: (Sarcastically) Oh yeah...great idea. I wouldn’t want to experience
hell in a poodle skirt without TRENT there to see me. Perish the thought.
Jane: So you wouldn’t mind?
Daria: (sighs) JANE! I was being sarcastic! You know sarcasm... a little
thing that started in my world but never quite made it to yours?
Jane: I do not know of this “sarcasm” you speak of, earthling.
Daria: Never mind. I don’t even know why I’m worrying. It’s not like Trent
and Jesse would be caught dead at a High school dance. You’ll never pull it
off.
Jane: (Smiles) How I love a challenge.
As they’re talking Trent walks into the kitchen where Jane has been chatting
on the phone. Jane immediately shuts up.
Daria: I bet. (longish pause) Jane? JANE! JANE ARE YOU THERE? JANE!!
Jane half watches Trent as he gets a bottle of juice from the fridge and goes
to stand by her while he drinks.
Jane: (Awkwardly) I’m sorry you must have the wrong number.
Daria: Wha-
Jane: Bye.
Jane hangs up the phone and quickly leaves the room. Trent watches her with a
confused look.
Trent: What the-?
Daria: (Looking at the phone in disbelief) IS THIS SOME WEIRD LANE-FAMILY
CUSTOM?!?!
*#*COMMERCIAL*#*
Int-Lawndale High
Daria is getting her books from her locker when Sandy, Stacey, and Tiffany
walk up to her.
Sandy: Hey Quinn’s cousin, or whatever... Do you know where Quinn is? She’s
like acting weird.
Stacey: She ran into the bathroom screaming when I tried to tell her there
was something on her face. It was just an eyelash. I didn’t know she got so
emotional about losing one eyelash. I hope she doesn’t hate me! SHE HATES
ME, DOESN’T SHE?!?
Tiffany: Yeah. She’s very edgy.
Daria: Actually I just saw her. She was walking around outside babbling
something about grunge becoming “The Style of The Next Millennium”.
All Three: (eyes widening) WHAT?
Sandy: (Coming to her senses, the few she actually has) This is what we were
afraid of girls. Emergency Meeting of the Fashion Club! Code Blue!
As they run off they pass Jane, who glances at them with confusion.
Jane: What was that all about?
Daria: I think they saw a personality.
Jane: (Screaming in the direction they exited) RUN LADIES!! RUN! (Turns
back to Daria) Oh yeah. I’m sorry about hanging up on you yesterday. Trent
walked into the kitchen and I didn’t want him to hear me until I’ve hatched my
ingenious plan. (Rubs hand together in that devilish way.)
Daria: Just don’t make it a habit. Anyway, what are we going to do about our
clothes. I don’t know about you, but I don’t recall combat boots as a 50’s
style.
Jane: You’re right. I recall... 60’s.
Daria: The entire student body couldn’t get me into one of those poodle
skirts. And as far as the saddle shoes-
Jane: (smiling) I know where they could stick their shoes. Right up their-
Daria: I’ve got it. We’ll go as thespians. The 50’s were crawling with
‘em.
Jane: Good plan. I’ve already got plenty of black decor.
Daria: (Sarcastically Snobby) You? Never. I always saw you as a tope chick.
Jane: (In Russian Accent) Silly American! You will die for this insult to
my fashion taste!
Int- Lane Household. Jane walks down stairs to talk to Trent and Jesse, who
are busy practicing.
Jane: (Screaming) TRENT! YO, TRENT!!
They stop playing
Trent: (adjusting his guitar) What, Janey?
Jesse: Hey Jane.
Jane: Hey Jess.
They smile at each other for a few seconds, but their love gaze is broken by
Trent.
Trent: JANEY!
Jane: (coming back to reality) Yea- Oh right. I need a favor.
Trent: Forget it. I’m not going to one of those creepy art stores with you
again. Last time I went some nut tried to sell me a quilting kit. (shivers
at the thought)
Jane: No I need a different favor. There’s this 50’s dance at school and
unfortunately I was forced to join the committee. Anyway I kind of lack a
date-
Trent: Janey, no offense but there’s something wrong with going to a dance
with your sister.
Jane: UGH! No not you! I wanted to go with Jesse
Jesse: Cool.
Trent shoots Jesse a “touch my sister and die” look and then turns to Jane.
Trent: Then what do you need me for?
Jane: Well Daria got sucked into this torture, too. And she doesn’t have a
date either. So my big brain thought you might be open and willing to go with
her.
Trent: Well it would break my busy nap schedule, (smiles) but for Daria...
(realizes how dumb he must look) Sure. It would bring back some high school
memories.
Jane: (smirking) Of course... Sir. Chivalry rides again.
Trent: Oh Shut up, Janey.
Int-Morgendorffer household
The Morgendorffers are sitting around the table eating a dinner of... what
else? Lasagna
Helen: So, Daria, have you found a date for the dance yet?
Daria: Actually, I have.
Everyone is stunned and sits open mouthed. Quinn drops her fork.
Daria: What?
Jake: (shaking his shock off) That’s... great Daria! Who is he?
Daria: (imitating Quinn) His name is Paul. Or is it Pete? I’m not sure,
but I can find out in school-
Helen: (Annoyed) Daria, why can’t you be sincere for just once.
Daria: Because, Mom... I don’t have the fairy dust... yet.
Int-Jane’s room
Jane is painting while calling Daria on the phone.
Daria: (picking up the phone) Hello.
Jane: Hello, Unfaithful one. Listen closely, as I tell you tales of my
endless wis-
Daria: Jane? What are you talking about?
Jane: Fine, just ruin the moment.
Daria: What are friends for. So what are you babbling on about anyway?
Jane: Just that I have done the undo-able. Accomplished the impossible. Won
the-
Daria: BEFORE I DIE JANE!
Jane: Geez. I got us dates for the dance.
Daria: Really? Who are they? I didn’t see you talking to anyone at scho-
(pause) Wait.. you didn’t.
Jane: Oh didn’t I...
Daria: Sure Jane. Not even YOU could pull that off.
Jane: Couldn’t I? Jesse is going with me and you... my friend, are to be
escorted by Mr. Lane himself.
Daria: I don’t believe it.
Jane: Believe it sister. Trent and Jesse are picking us up Tomorrow at 10.
Daria: Hey Jane?
Jane: Yeah?
Daria: (almost to quiet to hear) Umm... Thanks.
Jane: Aw... you’re welcome kiddo.
Daria: Jane?
Jane: Yeah?
Daria: Never call me “kiddo” again.
Jane: Right.
*#*COMMERCIAL*#*
Ext-Lawndale High.
Jane and Daria are sitting on that mound they sat on in “Misery Chick” and
talking. Kevin comes up in his regular football gear. He just stands by Jane
and Daria without saying anything. They give each other a look that says
“Ok... is he just here to eat our brains or what?”.
Jane: Hey Kevin. Are you just window shopping or do you want to buy
something?
Kevin: (Looks around) Woah! I thought we were at school. This must be a
dream or something.
Daria: That’s exactly it, Kevin. We’re all... (flails her arms for affect)
Figments of Your Imagination. Doo bee doooooo.
Jane: (Joining in) Thats right. We’s messengers from the future. We come
to warn you of trouble.
Daria: Her name is Brittney and she wants to break your will.
Kevin: What?! No way. My babe loves me.
Jane: You have been warned. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
Kevin gives them a strange look and you hear Brittney call from far away.
Brittney: Kevvvieeee...
Kevin: Coming babe.
Daria and Jane resume their conversation.
Daria: I still don’t get it. How did you get
Trent AND Jesse to come. Don’t they have more important college parties to go
to?
Jane: (Laughs) Right! Jess and Trent awake for a night life? They hardly
live in the Day Time!
Daria: I guess you’re right. I just feel stupid dragging them along to one
of our freak social events.
Jane: (slyly) I’m sure you’ll feel better when Trent has his hand around your
waist as you slowly dance with you’re head resting on his ch-
Daria: (Blushing at the thought) Ok Jane I give!! Uncle!
Jane: I hope this little conversation has taught you something.
Daria: Actually it has... I should have killed you when I had the chance.
Jane: As long as there’s a moral!
Int-Jane’s room
Trent is wearing a his regular clothes. Jane is wearing all black with one of
those “woman” signs on a necklace. She’s painting a picture of a girl
getting
attacked by her poodle skirt. Trent walks in without her noticing.
Trent: Hmm... I guess someone’s in the swinging mood.
Jane: (indicating her painting) Well I felt that someone should learn their
lesson.
Trent: So Janey... Did you.. um... you know...
Jane: Did I tell Daria you were going with her?
Trent: Well... yeah.
Jane: Yup, I told her. She’s excited to go.
Trent: (relieved) Good. I mean I wouldn’t want to drag her around if she
didn’t wanna go.
Jane: Sure Trent.
Trent: (trying to change the subject) Well we better go.
Jane: What? The dance doesn’t start for another hour.
Trent: Then we better hurry. It’s gonna take that long to wake Jesse up.
Jane: (coming upon one of her ideas) Well I’m not quite ready.
Trent: Aw Janey. You’re already dressed.
Jane: Well you know how I obsess over my make-up.
Trent: But you don’t wear make up.
Jane: Well... I might. You should go pick Jesse and Daria up and stop back
to get me.
Trent: (blushing at the thought) Well I guess that would be ok. See ya
Janey.
Trent leaves and camera zooms to a shot of Janes face, which is decorated with
a crafty look.
Jane: That ought to get me my wings...
Int- Daria’s room.
Shot of closet. Daria is rummaging through her not exactly surplus assortment
of clothes. She finally settles on black leggings and a tight black turtle
neck.
Daria: Damn... where is that old necklace. Oh well. Maybe I’ll ask Quinn.
She walks to Quinn’s room and finds her putting on some make-up. Quinn is
wearing a pink poodle skirt with a blue collared v-neck top and a pink scarf
tied around her neck.
Daria: Hey Quinn, um can I borrow a necklace?
Quinn: (hasn’t looked at Daria yet) Why would I let you borrow a necklace?
You betrayed my trust by tricking me.
Daria: You never trusted me.
Quinn: Oh yeah. In that case the necklaces are in the closet. (finally
looks at Daria) Daria... the theme is the 50’s. You look like your on your
way to a funeral or something.
Daria: I could only be so lucky. (going to open the closet) Where in the
closet?
As she opens it she finds the entire closet is lined with hooks, and each one
has a different necklace on it.
Quinn: Retro necklaces towards the bottom right.
Daria: And all this time I thought you had no hobby. (She’s looking through
the necklaces when she hears the door bell. She looks at Quinn.)
Quinn: Don’t look at me. My date wouldn’t pick me up this early.
Daria: If your date is smart. He won’t pick you up at all. (She forgets
about the necklace and heads towards the stairs.)
Helen: (calling up the stairs) Daria! It’s your date.
Jake: So... you’re taking Daria to the dance.
Trent: Yeah... my name’s Trent.
Jake: Good to meet you Trent. Are you sure you’re not here for Quinn?
Trent: (thinking) Not unless Quinn found a personality. (out loud) No... I'm
here for Daria.
Helen: Here she comes.
Daria walks down the stairs and sees trent standing there. Trent sees her and
gets a “Woah” look on his face.
Trent: Oh, hey Daria.
Daria: (blushing) Hey Trent. Sorry to make you wait. (Thinking) Really
sorry if you talked to my parents.
Trent: (thinking) Not half as sorry as I am.
Jake: Well you kids better skiddadle. You wouldn’t want to be late to
“boogie down”.
Daria: Yeah, Dad. We’re going to bust a move.
Trent laughs
Daria: Bye.
Helen: Bye Ki- (daria slams the door before they can finish)
Daria and Trent walk towards his car
Daria: Sorry about that. My parents are relatively harmless.
Trent: No problem. Janey wasn’t ready so we have to stop by to pick her up
on the way to Jesse’s.
They get in the car.
Daria: (Thinking) Of course she wasn’t ready.
Trent drives out of the driveway. And the view changes to one of the car’s
int.
Trent: Cool costume Daria. Thespian?
Daria: Yeah. There was no way I was going in a poodle skirt.
Trent: Ugh. Poodle skirts freak me out.
Daria: (looking at Trent’s regular clothes) Let me guess... you’re going as
futuristic style.
Trent: Yeah... either that or I’m lazy.
They both laugh.
Daria: (noticing that she forgot a necklace) Crap... I forgot a necklace. I
talked to Quinn for nothing.
Trent: Here (taking off his necklace) you can wear mine.
He gives it to Daria, who’s blushing like crazy. She puts it on and looks at
it.
Daria: Thanks.
They pull up to the Lane’s house.
Daria: I’ll go get Jane.
Trent: Oh no... I can.
Daria: Let me. I owe her one.
Jane is still painting when Daria walks into her room.
Daria: I hope you’re planning to wear that painting.
Jane: Daria! (smirks) How was the car ride?
Daria: I would have been better if we had run over a Jane-Sized speed bump.
Jane: Hey... is that Trent’s necklace?
Daria: Um. It didn’t match his outfit.
Jane: Of course. I forget how fashion conscience Trent can be, Especially
when he coordinates his outfits off the floor.
*#*COMMERCIAL*#*
Int-Trent’s car
Jesse, Trent, Daria, and Jane are in the car. Jane and Jesse are in the back
and Trent and Daria are in the front.
Jesse: Going to a high school dance. Woah. Takes you back.
Trent: Yeah. I remember when we were in high school.
Jesse: There was something about us that was different then.
Daria: (thinking) You were well taught.
Suddenly, the car makes a noise and slows down.
Jane: What was that?
Trent: (looking at the gas gauge) The gauge must be broken. I think we’re
out of gas.
Jane: And I think you’re out of luck. I’m not going to get gas again.
Trent looks a Jesse.
Jesse: Um... some one has to protect Jane.
Daria: I’ll go do it.
Trent: No Daria. That’s ok. I am in need of some exercise anyway.
Jane: Why don’t you both go?
Daria: (thinks) Why don’t I poor the gas down your throat.
Trent: Ok. If you want to go with me Daria.
Daria: (thinking) Go with Trent... Stay with Jane. Once again Jane fights a
losing battle. (Says out loud) Sure.
Trent: Cool.
They start walking down the road and the camera go back to Jane and Jesse.
Jane: Make that my wings... and a halo.
Camera Shot.
Front View of Trent and Daria.
Daria: Trent?
Trent: Yeah Daria?
Daria: Thanks for going to the dance with me. I know you have other things
to do and-
Trent: It’s cool Daria. I’d rather go with you, you’re the coolest girl I
know.
Daria: You mean the coolest High School girl
Trent: No... the coolest girl. You’re the only one I can really talk to, you
know... about serious stuff.
Daria: I like talking to you too Trent. You’re a great listener.
Trent: Well it’s easy to listen to someone you care about. (suddenly he
realizes what he just said) I mean... I care about what you have to say.
Daria: I care about what you have to say too.
They reach the gas station and go inside to get some gas.
Gas Station Worker: May I help you?
Daria: Our car ran out of gas.
Trent: Can we get some gas quick... we’re late for a dance.
GSW: No problem.
Trent pays and the worker goes into the back room and brings back a can of
gas.
GSW: Here ya go. Boy you two are such a cute couple.
Daria and Trent look at each other and blush.
Trent: Thanks.
They take the gas and leave the station.
Cut to Trents Car. Jesse and Jane are sitting on the side of the trunk
talking when Trent and Daria walk up.
Jane: Well look who it is... Butch and Sundance.
Trent: Hey... we better get going... we’re barely going to make it there in
time.
They all get in the car, Daria and Trent in the front of course.
Cut-To Lawndale High Gym, where the dance is held. Quinn dancing with her
date.
Quinn’s Date: Wow, Quinn. You look so beautiful.
Quinn: I know.
QD: Your hair is so bouncy and your nose is so... so...
Quinn: Cute?
QD: Yeah! Not to mention your face-
Quinn: WHAT ABOUT MY FACE?!?
QD: Nothing it’s just-
Quinn: AHHHH!!! (runs to the bathroom)
On her way there she passes the fab 4 who seem to be amazed at the
decorations.
Jane: Wow. They really did a number on this gym.
Daria: You mean we really did a number on this gym.
Jane: It’s all in the supervision.
Trent: (to Jesse) This really takes me back.
Daria: Don’t let it take you back to far. I need a ride home.
Trent: (laughs, than coughs) Good one.
The DJ’s voice (Mr. O’neil) comes over the speakers as the last song ends.
O’Neil: Ok boys and girls. This is the last song, so find that special
someone who-
Ms. Li: PLAY THE SONG!
O’Neil: Here we go.
The song begins, (“Angel” by Sara McLachlan). Jane and Jesse join hands and
go towards the dance floor and start dancing, her head on his chest.
Daria: (aware of what might happen) Looks like we were later that we
thought.
Trent: Yeah. (silence) Hey Daria?
Daria: Yeah Trent.
Trent: (shyly) You want to... um... dance?
Daria: Uh, sure. If you want to.
They walk out to the floor and just stand there for a few seconds.
Then they meet eyes and Trent pulls her close and puts his hand on her hips.
She slowly wraps her arms over his shoulders.
Trent: Daria?
Daria: Yeah Trent?
Trent: This is nice, isn’t it?
Daria: (contently) Yes Trent. (Then whispers) In fact... it’s perfect.
(she holds him a little closer and sighs.)
Spend all your time waiting,
for that second chance.
For a break that would make it ok.
There’s always some reason,
to feel not-good-enough.
And it’s hard at the end of the day.
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release,
Memories seep from my veins.
Let me be empty.
Oh weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight.
In the arms of the angels,
Fly away, from here.
From this dark cold hotel room.
And the aimlessness that you feel.
You are pulled from the wreckage,
of your silent reverie.
In the arms of an angel,
may you find some comforting. . . .
Camera shot rises up and then above to reveal the whole scene and then fades
out.
Credits
End