Itchy and Scratchy Episodes

Theme Song


They fight! and bite!
They fight and bite and fight!
Fight, fight, fight!                                                                                                         
Bite, bite, bite!
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!



Itchy & Scratchy Episodes



There's No Disgrace Like Home


Scratchy chases Itchy into his hole and ends up with his head stuck in
the hole. Itchy stuffs a bomb into his mouth. Cut to outside-the-hole
view, when the bomb explodes, a cat skeleton remains. Itchy rolls
Scratchy's head through the skeleton ribs.


Krusty Gets Busted



Scratchy reclines in a hammock. Itchy shoots him with a flaming
arrow. Scratchy jumps around on fire, screaming.



Let Them Eat Scratchy


A French revolution theme. Itchy cuts off Scratchy's head
with a guillotine. Scratchy's head rolls to a stop (the expression
on Scratchy's face here is priceless) and Itchy stuffs a bomb into
his mouth.After the explosion, all that's left is a cat skull.




Hold That Feline

Itchy tees up a football-bomb and kicks it. Scratchy catches it
just before it explodes, leaving a huge crater. Several HUGE football-
jerseyed cats pile on to the crater, presumably crushing Scratchy.




Kitchen Cut Ups

Itchy and Scratchy are pounding each other with meat tenderizers. Next
we see Scratchy pinned to the counter while Itchy tries to stab him with
a butcher knife (note the cat-cutlet butcher's chart on the wall in the
background). Finally, Itchy connects and Scratchy screams.
[After a brief cut away from the TV] We then briefly see Itchy wielding
an electric mixer.


Messenger Of Death

Scratchy answers a knock at the door, looks down and sees Itchy, who
draws a bazooka, aims directly at Scratchy's head, and fires.Scratchy's
body is left intact, but his head is a skull. Zoom back to see the TV
in the Simpsons' living room, from which we see Scratchy's skull fall
off his neck (a couple of vertebrae still visible).


Oh Say,Can You See

Itchy hits Scratchy in the back of the head with a mallet, knocking
his eyes out. While Scratchy gropes around to retrieve his eyeballs,
Itchy hands him two lit cherry bombs, which Scratchy inserts in his eye
sockets. He then goes to the mirror and brushes his hair (able to see
with the cherry bombs) and notices the discrepancy just before the
explosion .



Field Of Screams I

Itchy and Scratchy playing baseball and wreaking violence on each
other with baseball bats, a squirrel with Marge Simpson hair chides them
and tells them to stop it. Itchy knocks her head out of the park with a
baseball bat. Itchy and Scratchy then shake hands


Rest In Pieces

We see a grave ("SCRATCHY -- Rest in peace") with wires running out of
it. The wires lead to a detonator, operated by Itchy. He blows the
grave apart, blowing a fiery, screaming cat skeleton into the air.


Porch Pals

The first "kinder, gentler" Itchy and Scratchy production.
Forced By Marge's Anti Violence Campaign.


They love! They share!
They share and love and share!
Love, love, love!
Share, share, share!
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!


Itchy and Scratchy are sitting in rocking chairs on a porch with a
table holding a pitcher of lemonade between them. The dialogue is as
follows [transcribed by Raymond Chen]:

Itchy: Lemonade?
[3-second pause]
Scratchy: Please.
Itchy: I made it just for you.
Scratchy: You are my best friend.
[after dialogue in Simpsons' living room]
Itchy: Mm, this really hits the spot.
Scratchy: Doesn't it, though.
Itchy: You make really good lemonade, Scratchy.
Scratchy: [embarrassed] Oh, thank you, Itchy.
[superimpose a heart with `The End' on it]





Goodbye World

Itchy pulls a pistol on Scratchy, Scratchy pulls a bigger one on
Itchy,Itchy pulls yet a bigger one, Scratchy one even bigger.
Repeat once more. Zoom out to entire-Western-hemisphere
view (Central N. America clearly labeled "United States"), where
this sequence is repeated once. Zoom out to global view, where
the sequence is repeated once more, with Itchy getting the final
draw and shooting. Scratchy achieves escape velocity and is blown
by the camera view, screaming. He plunges directly into the sun,
leaving a puddle about the size of Jupiter.




Sundae Bloody Sundae

Scratchy sits down at a soda fountain, but tries to run when he
sees that the soda jerk is Itchy. Itchy grabs him and stuffs him into
a metal shake container, and puts it under the mixer. Voila: Scratchy
puree. Freeze framers: step through the part where Scratchy
reconstitutes himself!(He drinks himself, through the straw, back into
shape.)


Bang The Cat Slowly

Itchy and Scratchy are having a birthday party ("Happy Birthday
Scratchy" banner looms large in the background). Itchy produces
a box and puts a lit bomb in it, wraps it, grabs Scratchy's tongue
(easily, since Scratchy's expression is wide-eyed and open-mouthed
in anticipation of his obvious fate) and uses it as wrapping ribbon.
He then pulls it back and snaps it into Scratchy's mouth, where it
obviously lodges in Scratchy's neck.Scratchy blinks and the bomb
explodes.
Cut to above the scene, where Scratchy's head and his party hat are
twirling separately. The party hat lands (cone up) on Scratchy's neck,
and Scratchy's head comes down on it with enough force to push the
conical party hat through the entire head (from ear to ear).




O Solo Meow

The title card depicts Itchy putting Scratchy's head through a pasta
maker.Scratchy is seated at a table in a restaurant. Itchy, the waiter,
arrives with a spaghetti platter which contains a bomb. Scratchy,
oblivious to the bomb, twirls the spaghetti and bomb together on
his fork and eats it.While slurping the spaghetti strands, he sees
the fuse (in place of the last spaghetti strand) burn down.Realizing
what has happened, he frantically jumps around screaming and runs
through a door to the outside. Unfortunately, the door is too low, and
Scratchy is decapitated on the way. His body explodes outside,
leaving a smoking hole.
A pink dog-busboy comes along and trips over Scratchy's head,
causing all his dishes to crash to the floor.
Cut to Itchy, who is giggling.


The Sounds Of Silencers

St. Valentine's Day Massacre theme: Itchy is in a police uniform,
slapping his club into his palm, while several tough-looking, hoodlum-
dressed cats are lined up against a wall. No sign of Scratchy. Itchy,
completely without provocation, pulls out a Thompson .45 caliber
submachine gun and opens up on the unsuspecting gangland cats.
As blood flows liberally, Itchy begins blasting "THE END" into the
wall with bullet holes.Before he can finish, one more hapless cat
wanders onto the scene (one guess who). Itchy blasts the "D"
through him, he falls, and "THE END" remains on the wall, with
the "D" in red.

[Post-cartoon line: "It's funny 'cause it's true," spoken by Fat Tony.]


My Dinner With Itchy

Itchy and Scratchy are having dinner in a fancy restaurant.
Itchy gives Scratchy a carafe of green acid, which Scratchy
(presumably thinking it is wine) ingests. When he looks
down to see his skeletal insides, Itchy throws the rest of
the acid into his face. Scratchy screams and runs,blinded,
out of the restaraunt and into the street, where he is run over by
a bus.



Field Of Screams II

Scratchy and Scratchy Jr. are enjoying a game of catch in
a field of wheat .Itchy and Itchy Jr. arrive on the scene in a
thresher and run overScratchy & Son. The next thing we see
is Itchy and Itchy Jr. playing their own game of catch with a
cat head.



House Of Pain

We open to a shot of Itchy standing in front of Scratchy, who
is bound with thick ropes to a post. Itchy climbs a stepladder
with a hammer and a very large nail, and holds it up to
Scratchy's forehead, clearly intending to drive it. Scratchy,
of course, screams. The view changes to a behind-Scratchy's-head
shot, Itchy drives the nail, and we see it emerge from the back
of the post.The shot returns to the previous view and we see
that the nail has,indeed, been driven through Scratchy's
forehead. Itchy, in what may be his most deliciously ironic
move yet, hangs a picture of a smiling Itchy and Scratchy with
their arms around each other on the newly-driven nail.


Cat Splat Fever

While "There's No Place Like Home" plays as background
music, we see Scratchy in the bedroom, in which there are
separate beds labeled "Itchy" and "Scratchy" and a picture
of the two on the wall. Scratchy finds a note on Itchy's bed:
"Goodbye Cruel World -- Itchy" and looks outside just in time
to see Itchy jump into a well. He runs out and dives into
the well himself, presumably to rescue Itchy, who is sitting
on a ledge watching Scratchy fall to the bottom.Once at the
bottom, Scratchy falls into the jaws of an alligator, who chews
him up and slurps him down (watch closely here as
Scratchy's tail gets slurped down a la spaghetti!).
A ghostlike Scratchy-angel, complete with wings and halo,
ascends through the well until level with Itchy. It's worth
watching this next sequence closely: Itchy levels a revolver
at Scratchy's head and blasts it. After flattening out briefly,
Scratchy's head recovers its shape, but with a large hole.
Scratchy glances upward in time to see his halo
depart, then falls back, um, downward. Itchy waves bye-bye.
After a brief shot of Lisa laughing, we see the closing card: Itchy's
and Scratchy's faces with a yellow ribbon and the legend
"Dedicated to Timmy O'Toole."



I'm Getting Buried In The Morning

The title card shows Scratchy as a meat-cleaver-wielding
groom, chasing Itchy, who is wearing a (white) bridal gown.
Scratchy is getting married to a brown girl-cat!
We hear a couple of bars of the Wedding March from
Mendelssohn's "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which turns
into generic cartoon music. The officiant's face is obscured
by his hat. Just before the proceedings begin, the minister
throws off his hat to reveal that he is, in fact, Rabbi Itchy.
Scratchy, oblivious, is kissing his bride (cf. the
Milhouse/Samantha kiss) when Itchy, in a shameless
"Goldfinger" reference, throws his deadly hat, severing the
bride's head (her body falls away, as Scratchy is holding
her head) and splashing blood on Scratchy's pink tie and tails
(ho ho--*tails*, get it?). Scratchy is still holding the severed
head (which is still puckered up) and kissing it when he
notices and screams, just before the top hat returns,
boomerang-like, to sever his own head. There are a few
frames here of the gruesome sight of Scratchy's headless
body (his head has fallen away) holding the bride's
still-puckered bodiless head.
The next shot we see is Itchy, driving off down the road with
a "Just Married" sign on his car (a pink convertible), with the
heads of the bride and groom tied to the rear bumper and
bouncing all the way. The Wedding March from Wagner's
"Lohengrin" plays in the background. Note the rural setting
and the license plate that says ITCHY. Note also that *both*
heads now have protruding tongues.



Fly Me To The Moon

The title card shows an American-flag-wielding Itchy chasing
Scratchy.
Scratchy is reading the newspaper, the banner headline of
which says "MOON SHOT TODAY." Itchy appears at the
window and grabs an oblivious Scratchy's tongue and runs with it . . .
. . . to the launching pad of the aforementioned moon shot. He
ties it securely around one of the rocket's tailfins and awaits the
launch. [Of course, we are anticipating Scratchy's liftoff when the
rocket yanks him by his tongue. Boy, are we in for a surprise.]
The rocket blasts off and Scratchy's tongue unreels for the entire
250,000-mile trip. The rocket makes several quick orbits, leaving
Scratchy's tongue in a Gordian knot around the moon.
After a pregnant pause, Scratchy's tongue exerts enough of a pull
on the moon to bring it hurtling toward earth--specifically,
Scratchy's house. Scratchy notices something is wrong, goes to the
window to look, and sees the rapidly growing apparent size of the
moon. He screams, runs about with arms flailing [I watched this bit
ten times in slow motion] and finally heads for the closet to hide.
The "camera" pulls back for a wide shot of the house just as the
moon strikes Scratchy's house, more than adequately flattening it.
Cut to "mouse-ion" control [sorry]. A control room full of
Itchies, watching on the big monitor, is cheering and popping
champagne corks. Mission: successful