Prank Calls to Moe's Tavern



Hey, everybody, I.P. Freeley!


Hey, guys, I'm lookin' for a Jacques Strap.                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                    
I wanna Seymour Butts.


Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has gotta be
Homer Sexual!


Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?


Uh, hey, everbody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face big butt and my butt
smells and I like to kiss my own butt.

Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!

Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?

Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss?

Hey, everybody, put down your glasses. Ivana
Tinkle!

Aw, settle down. Anita Bath here? All right, fine,
fine. Maya Butreeks?

Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?

Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!



Moe's Answers To Prank Calls:

Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'm
gonna kill you!

Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!

Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm
gonna slice your heart in half!

It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut
you like a fish and drink your blood!

Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm
gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek
and rip your face off!

Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm
going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!

Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket
and paint my house with your brains!

You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a
sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!

Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Waylan, is it? Listen
to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down
your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm
gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!