She looked behind her, but didn't see anything. She listened, but didn't hear anything. But, that didn't matter, she knew that it was there. It was always there, just beyond reach. She felt it, its hot breath, burning her on her back. Pushing her ever forward. She had heard it's horrible anguished cries in her head that signaled its pursuit of her. She had ran and ran, and to no avail. It would catch her, it always did. In the end, she always lost, and it always won.
Turning one last time, she looked over her shoulder, and when she did, that had been her mistake. Not watching where she had been going, she did not seethe tree root jutting out of the ground in front of her. And she had not had time to change her course, so she fell. She fell onto the cold, wet ground, with a sickening thud.
As she raised herself up on her elbows, and tried to regain her footing, it was too late. It had caught up with her, and she had lost. She knew, in that moment that it was over. She turned and looked it straight in the eyes, and smiled a sad, yielding smile, but a smile of defeat nonetheless.
As she looked at it, it shimmered and shifted, as if in a constant state of flux. It kept no true shape, for any length of time. It was not any one creature, yet it was only one. It was unlike anything else she had ever seen. No, she thought, she had seen it before. As she continued to look at it, and its shifting form, she rolled over on her back, and prepared herself. She prepared herself to die.
*
Michael watched Nikita through the plate glass window that separated the observation room from the MedLab room. He watched, as she tossed and turned on the gurney, in the deep stages of dreaming. Her hair, drenched with perspiration, was plastered to her face. She thrashed around wildly, and struck out occasionally as if to fend something, or someone off. He watched, and he hoped, that whatever demons that Nikita was battling, would be extinguished. For, it seemed Nikita's status as an operative, her very life, depended on her successfully winning over her personal inner demons.
Still staring at Nikita intently, Michael didn't notice Madeline join him in the observation room. As she walked up next to him, and lightly touched him on the arm, he jumped slightly. As he turned to her, he had his patent blank stare securely in place.
Madeline: How are the tests coming?
Michael: Fine. She is 15 minutes into the dream, and all is proceeding as scheduled.
Madeline smiled at Michael weakly, then turned and looked at Nikita through the window.
Madeline: Good. I hope that, for Nikita's sake, this works. After what happened in Burks Falls, we must make sure that she is up to Section standards before she goes on another mission.
Michael only continued to look at Madeline. Then, turning to gaze at Nikita, once again, he spoke.
Michael: And... If this does not work?
Madeline turned her gaze to Michael, and with a sadden look, answered.
Madeline: Then she is to be canceled.
And then it came. She felt a deep pain and regret in her heart. This killer attacked emotionally, not physically. She cried out. Her body racked with sobs for a little while. That was when the pain lessened. And she was free.
Nikita's sleep had quieted down. She was relaxed. Michael allowed her to sleep for 30 minutes longer than woke her up.
She was like a cat waking up after a slumber. She yawned delicately and rubbed her eyes. Then, came something very surprising to him, a wonderful smile. He hadn't seen a look on her face like that.. since.. Well.. Since that morning on the barge. He gave her a slight smile and helped her up.
"Would you to go out to dinner tonight?” Michael asked hopefully.
Nikita's smile grew larger, "Of course, I'd love to.” She looked back at the technicians, who had pulled the monitors off of her body. "Are they... Done with their tests?” Nikita asked hesitantly.
"For now. They will want you back for a few more tests in a few days.” Michael said with an encouraging smile.
She didn't even remember the dream, Michael thought. That was very interesting indeed.
"I wonder what they're testing me for. I guess, they need a guinea pig.” Nikita grinned.
"Correct. Just a standard government testing project. Sleep patterns.” Michael’s smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
Nikita and Michael walked out of MedLab together.
Michael walked Nikita back up to her apartment and took the key from her to open the door. He turned his back to her and she looked at him with love in her eyes....
He opened the door and stood back to let her precede him into the apartment.
Nikita: Would you care for a nightcap?
Michael, with a smile and nod of his head, indicated that he would and he entered the apartment and closed the door behind him. As Nikita moved about in the kitchen, he walked over to her stereo and selected some music. As the soft strains filled the room he lit some nearby candles and opened the doors to the balcony. He walked out onto the balcony and stood at the railing overlooking the city below.
He could hear Nikita inside moving around in the kitchen and humming along with the music. He let his mind wander over the testing earlier today...how could she have such violent dreams and suffer no lapses?
No sooner had he thought it than he heard glass shatter and Nikita scream. He ran back into the room and saw her cowering in the corner of the kitchen staring at a point near the stairs to her bedroom.
He looked over to the bedroom and saw nothing. He walked over to Nikita and she looked right through him and started to shake violently with convulsions. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she slumped to the floor.
Madeline answered on the first ring. "We are bringing her in Michael. I've been monitoring her apartment from my office. A medical team is on the way. What do you think happened?"
Michael was struggling to keep Nikita still and hold his phone and think at the same time. "I don't know. I was out on the balcony ... Nikita was getting us a drink and then I heard her scream. She was just staring off towards her bedroom ... like she was seeing something unsettling. I looked but didn't see anything. Then she started having convulsions. Where is medical? We need to help her now!” Just then, Nikita arm flew up and hit Michael square in the eye.
Madeline: "Just a few minutes, Michael. They will be arriving shortly. I sent them as soon as I saw what was happening. So everything was normal this evening until she screamed?"
Michael sighed. Why couldn't she just let it go until they were back at Section? He was too busy to talk right now. He was still trying to hold Nikita down and not get punched in the face again. "Yes. She was fine. We had a nice dinner. She was relaxed and showed no signs of stress or fear or anything. Then all of a sudden it hit.” Just then the Med team knocked on the door. Michael couldn't let go of Nikita, because she was still thrashing around so violently.
Michael: "Come in, it's open.” The medics arrived and headed straight for Nikita. Michael and another medic held her down while a second medic injected her with something to calm her down. Once she had stopped thrashing, she was strapped to the gurney and they headed for Section.
Madeline met them at the van. "Get her into MedLab and hooked up immediately. I want to know what happened and I want to know yesterday! Michael, come to my office.” Michael pretended he didn't hear her. He began following Nikita. Madeline expected as much and let him go a few feet before she tried again. "Michael, I want to see you in my office now. You can't do anything for her now. You will be back to her before she wakes up."
Michael reluctantly followed Madeline to her office. She pointed to a seat and Michael sat. Madeline then walked around her desk, sat down, and hit a few keys on her computer. She turned the screen around so that Michael could see it. "We have some preliminary results from Nikita's tests. Things are not looking good right now. Would you have any explanation for this?"
Michael read over the screen in shock. His mind couldn't comprehend what he was reading. It couldn't be... not Nikita. If he didn't figure out what to do soon, they were going to cancel her. He was not about to let that happen.
Madeline had noticed the quick flicker of fear in Michael's eyes, before he schooled his expression once again. She also knew that if Nikita didn't recover and had to be canceled, they would probably lose Michael too. She couldn't let that happen. "I'm waiting for an answer, Michael."
Michael looked at Madeline as if he had forgotten she was there. "I'm sorry. No, I have no explanation for this, but I will try to find out what's going on. Does Operations know about his?” Madeline smiled. "No, not yet. I'll hold off telling him as long as I can but I will have to tell him soon."
Just then MedLab called. Madeline answered. "Yes. Fine. We'll be right there.” She looked at Michael and said "I don't know what happened, but they said we should get down there right away."
A soft laugh escaped her at some comment he made, before she caught sight of Michael and Madeline. Michael watched the expression of confusion which came to her eyes for but a second, before she smiled at them softly. There was no sign of her earlier convulsions, the perspiration had dried from her body, and her skin was no longer that ghostly white that Michael associated with death. She looked healthy, clear, and ready to face the world.
What the hell was going on here he wondered? How could she go from near death to this in such a short span of time? It made no sense. There was no logic in this.
Madeline’s eyes narrowed on Nikita, on the smile that shaped her lips and the relaxed condition of her body. This did not go along with what the test results showed not the condition which was expected of her concerning it. Madeline hid her sigh well as they approached her.
"Someone want to tell me what happened?" a single brow arched in question as her eyes met Michael’s, then Madeline’s. "Last think I remember is going for a drink. Then I wake up here............" her sentence trailed off as she watched Madeline frown, then walk over to the senior MedTech who stood off by himself.
“Michael?" she needed an explanation of what was going on.
Michael moved over to her as the MedTech moved away, and brought her gently into his arms. What was he supposed to tell her he wondered. "How was he supposed to explain. At that moment, Madeline joined them once again.
"She wants to know what is going on.” Michael turned a fierce, burning look on her. "Tell her and tell her now.............
"We need more tests first........."
"No more tests, Michael bit out. You are destroying her with your damned tests. At least face her with it. Tell her what the hell is going on............”
"You should have never used her in the Phasing Shell to start with. You knew what her repressed memories were like when you put her in that machine... You are trying to bring them all back.. But there are reasons for REPRESSEDMEMORIES, Madeline!” Michael hollers and Nikita sits and stares at Madeline.
"Phasing Shell?” Nikita asks as her relaxed body begins to tighten.
"Nikita... we solved those problems.” Madeline says firmly. "Phasing Shell.. Repressed Memories... I don't want to know them..." Nikita cries out and turns away from the two.
"FORGET YOU TWO! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!!!” Nikita screams and tears out of MedLab before Michael can pull her arm to stop her.
The pain hit her from nowhere, and made her fall to her knees. As she leaned over, and clutched her head with both hands, she heard it. Its breathing resonated off the walls of the hallway, and completely enveloped her. She tried to stand, to run, but the pain in her head would not let her. She just stayed there, on the floor, doubled over in pain, gripping her head.
As the sounds of its breathing got closer, she tried with all her might to stand, but to no avail. After a few seconds, she was able to pull herself and slide across the floor. Thinking she would be safe as long as she could make it to the elevator, she began to drag herself in that direction. Just as she got the elevator, and punched the up button, it spoke. It had never spoke to her before, but this time it did.
"N..I..K..I..T..A"
Nikita’s head jerked around, and she had tears of fear streaming down her face. As she looked behind her, should could see nothing, but she could still tell it was there...she could feel it. As she punched at the up button, again and again, more and more frantic each time, she tried the control the sobs wracking her body.
As its breath got louder, she sunk down on the floor, and grabbed her head.
Nikita: No! You’re not real! I don't believe in you!! You’re a dream!!
It laughed, a cold, vicious laugh, and only proceeded closer to her. As it did, it spoke to her again.
"Nikita...be a good little girl...and just give yourself to me! In the end...you will be mine... so why fight the inevitable?"
Nikita continued gripping her head, nodding back and forth, trying to control her sobbing. Nikita: NO!! NEVER!! I will never be yours!! NEVER!!
As she said this, the elevator doors opened, and she fell backwards. But, she did not hit the floor. She was caught, by a pair of strong, yet familiar hands. As she turned and looked to see who it was, she could only sob.
Michael spoke to Nikita, not even trying to mask the concern in his voice.
Michael: Nikita? What is wrong? Are you okay?
Nikita only turned, and pulled Michael against her, clawing frantically to be safe and in his arms.
Nikita: Michael...save me!! Please!! Save me from it!!
Michael looked down the long dark hallway, and then back at Nikita.
Michael: Save you from what Nikita?
Nikita looked at Michael, with a wild expression, then turned, and looked back down the hallway. All that greeted her was darkness, and silence.
Michael: Nikita.. You're scaring me here...let me help you. Please!!
Nikita only turned back to Michael and after gazing into his eyes, and seeing his love and concern reflected back at her, collapsed against his chest, and sobbed.
"Hush. I'm here. No one will hurt you.” Michael runs his fingers through her hair.
Her cries soon quieted and she rested her head on his shoulder. Michael asked quietly then, "What happened?"
Nikita stirred in his arms then, as if she was worried that someone else would hear her, whispered, "I heard him breathing. It became louder and louder. Then he said I ... must..." She couldn’t say the rest.
"You must what?” Michael queried encouragingly. He kissed her forehead.
"I must.. Surrender to him."
"To whom?"
Nikita was silent. Michael pushed no further. She stood in Michael’s arms for awhile longer.
"Nikita, We should go back to MedLab, perhaps they can chase away this... "He" who bothers you."
Nikita wriggled out of his arms. "No, I won't go. It isn't safe here. I will die in Section."
Michael nodded. He trusted her intuition this time. He took her hand and they walked down the halls of Section.
Until Operations stopped in front of them.
"Michael, I want to speak with you.” Operations said with a voice of barely contained fury.
Operations: That will be ALL Nikita. Madeline is waiting for you.... In her office.
Nikita looked at Operations in puzzled surprise:
Nikita: Her office? Why...
Operations: NOW Nikita.
Nikita gave Michael a last longing look that pierced his heart and she turned and made her way back down the hall.
Barely containing his own brand of fury, Michael turned slowly towards Operations and hissed the words;
Michael: You wanted to SEE me??
This Nikita thing was getting out of control. He should have had her canceled years ago, but had allowed Madeline to talk him out of it each time he tried. He was watching his protégé slip further and further away from the future he had planned for him, and that made Operations furious himself.
"Do you have an idea what you are throwing away here?” Operations hissed at him, his eyes nearly burning with his own anger. " Your future, possibly even your life for that woman. Is she really worth it Michael? Is she worth everything you have to lose here? "
Michael’s lips thinned, his chest heaved with the effort it took not to kill the old bastard as he faced him. All these years he had planned and manipulated, twisted, and turned every agents life he could possible ruin, and he was standing here trying to remind him of his future. They had brought Nikita here to save him, and now all he wanted to do was destroy here.
Over the years he had stood by and watched as she was slowly torn apart, piece by piece, layer by layer stripped away from her until there was nothing left but her nightmares. And they were threatening to cancel her if she could not overcome them.
"I stand to lose something I thought was already gone." he whispered through clenched teeth. "You gave me back my soul when you gave me Nikita, and you will not have it again..."
"Michael.. Don’t go after her.” Operations says and Madeline slams the door shut.
"Michael.. Go.” Madeline says and Operations stares at Madeline.
"Madeline, this is not the time or place to start these kind of games. Nikita is not an asset to us.” Operations says and Madeline tilts her head and pulls out a disk.
"I think she is.” Madeline says as she waves the disk around.
"Go ahead, Michael.” Operations says and Michael moves out of the office.
Nikita did not know where to go, and she ran and she ran and she ran. She got to Walter's work area and found it empty. Her heart almost broke as the pain started to attack her head again. Nikita opened the gate and crawled in as the pain reduced her strong body.
"N.I.K.I.T.A...." The voice says out again and Nikita scrambles against the shelves.
"NO!!! GET!!!” Nikita cries out.
"Give in... Give in.." the voice says as the ground starts to tremble with its each step closer to her.
"GET!!! NO!!!” Nikita screams as her hands wrap around a gun and point it ahead of her.
Walter looks to the area behind the gate and shakes his head. He had heard something.
"NOOOO!!!!!! STOP IT!!!” Nikita's voice screams out clearly. Walter pulls open the gate and rushes in. It looks like Nikita is wrestling with something and a gun is in the middle. Walter rushes her and throws the gun upward, so neither him nor Nikita gets injured.
"Nikita.. Is this some kind of joke?” Walter asks as he places the gun down. He looks at Nikita as she grabs her head and starts to have seizures again.
"I NEED A MEDIC!” Walter screams out loudly.
"N..I..K..I..T..A... Surrender yourself...it is the only way."
Shaking her head, she looked to the floor in front of her and smiled a sad, yet victorious smile. She knew how to make the voice stop...how to finally find peace. She took the gun, and placing the barrel to her forehead, she laid her finger on the trigger.
At that very moment, Michael rounded the corner of Walter’s workstation, and taking in what was about to happen, screamed.
Michael: NIKITA!!! NO!!!
At the same moment, Walter turned to Michael, and Michael, not even thinking, just acting, dove at Nikita, and slide across the floor. As his body impacted Nikita's, the barrel slipped from her forehead, and the gun discharged.
Walter, moving quickly to help Michael, looked down at Nikita.
Walter: Nikita!! Are you okay Sugar?!
Nikita, dazed and confused, looked up at Walter, as if not quite sure of where she was or what was going on. Then, after a few more moments, she nodded.
Nikita: Yeah...yeah...I think. Walter...what happened?
Walter just kneeled down, and looked at Nikita.
Walter: You mean you don't remember?
Nikita only nodded no.
Walter: Sugar...you were about to blow your brains out till...
Nikita looked at Walter, as his expression suddenly changed.
Nikita: Until what? Walter?
Walter, turning to look across the room, didn't answer Nikita. Then, Nikita turned her gaze in the direction in which Walter was looking, and couldn't help but gasp. Lying on the floor, against the wall, and not moving, was Michael.
Nikita: Michael? Michael!! NO!!
Nikita began to shake all over, and then, regaining her senses, she crawled across the floor to Michael. Walter, reaching him at the same time as Nikita, placed his finger on Michael’s neck, and checked for a pulse. Looking at Nikita with a sad and regretful expression, Walter just set his mouth in a grim manner. Nikita, with a determined look on her face, took Michael’s upperbody in her hands, slid up next to him, and laying his head in her lap, cradled him to her. Looking at Walter with a pleading look in her eyes, Nikita could not hold back the tears. As she let them fall freely, and noticing Michael's shallow uneven breaths, she realized that this may be the last moments that they would share. With this knowledge, she spoke to him.
Nikita: Michael? Can you hear me? Michael...don't you give up on me...don't you dare!! You can't leave me...I love you!! You are my life!!
"Michael, don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I need you." The tears flow freely, one drop runs off her chin onto his forehead. She wipes it off of him absently. "Michael.. I love you."
His breaths are still uneven. Walter watches Nikita cry. Poor, Nikita. She had never experienced the death of a loved one before. He knew what she was feeling. He felt the same when he heard of Belinda's death.
Once Nikita's tears stopped flowing she saw where the wound was. Blood was flowing from the left side of his chest, 5 inches down from his arm pitt. She put pressure on it to stop the flow..
Medic soon ran in with a few carrying a stretcher. They lifted him onto it carefully. One of them checked his pulse and spotted his wound. He tore open his shirt and looked at it carefully.
"He doesn't look good. He may not make it." The medic looked sadly. They hurried Michael off, they had to go through the center of section to get to MedLab.
When they brought him out, with Nikita crying softly after them everyone looked on. Operations looked down with Madeline sadly. Madeline took his hand tightly.
Birkoff got up from comm and looked after them.
Walter walked over and patted him on the shoulder. No words needed to be said. Birkoff understood what happened. They knew that it was bound to happen one day. They both had known that Michael would die for Nikita, and today was the day it would happen.
The words meant nothing to Nikita as she only thought of Michael and the times they had shared....too few now it seemed....the few times that they had actually left Section together for a coffee....those nights he came over to her apartment...even thought mostly motivated by Orders from Section.. he had to have felt something for her....the times they had posed as *married* for Bauer and Armel....even though in *mission* mode...they had shared a closeness.
And when he brought her back in...that night on the boat....she would hold that time in her heart now forever...possibly her last moment with the real *Michael* that she would ever know.
As the technicians ran through the door into the trauma room Nikita was still close on their heels....though they would not let her into the room she stood outside watching through the observation glass as they stripped Michael's bloody shirt from him and tried to stop the flow of blood from the wound to his side.....
They were hooking up all sorts of equipment and putting a tube down his throat to help him breathe....possibly his last breath. They grabbed the paddles and shocked him when the monitor showed a flatline....
Nikita could taste the salt from her tears as they rolled down her cheeks as she placed her hands flat against the cold glass and watched Michael fight for his life.....
