* The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
* Yoda could've used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
* Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material. Rose is just marriage bait.
* Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
* It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
* Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic
characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed
amphibians to Admiral.
* We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats
his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the
bad guy 'cause he strangles people & blows up planets for fun.
* Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? *NOTE* Is this a scary premonition: Anakin DeCaprio?
* Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.
* There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
* If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would use the Force to get the key.
* Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
* Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply freezes.
* Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!
* We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated, "Luke....I am your father"?
* Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters; everyone in Titanic was a minor character.
* When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by half
of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of
himself at the Oscars.
* Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband, 3) pose nude
for pictures, 4) premarital sex is OK if you're infatuated,
5) let undesirables drown.
Star Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect all life
even if it's ugly and slithers, 4) rescue princess, 5) save planet.
Here is something we found that is really interesting to see. As
you can tell, it's a 'morphing' pic of young Obi-Wan into older Obi-Wan.
We can really see why they cast Ewan as the young Obi-Wan!!!! They sure
do look alike!!!!
21 Reasons Obi-Wan Kenobi is better then Darth Maul
23. The name Obi-Wan Kenobi (Say it aloud, go on..sexy isn't it?)
22. He started a fashion craze with his single braid. (You don't see anyone walking around tattooed like Maul now do you??)
21. The way he says "Yes Master"
20. The way he says "Elusive"
19. His Witty sense of humour, (one line: If they find us, they crush us, grind us into tiny pieces and blast us into oblivion.)
18. His smile
17. The way he twirls his sexy lightsaber
16. THAT VOICE!!!
15. THAT FACE!!!!
14. THOSE EYES!!!
13. THAT COSTUME!!!!
12. THAT SEXY SWAGGER!!!
11. Because he calls Anakin a 'pathetic lifeform.'
10. THAT BOD!!!!
9. The way he fights, those moves!! (Ok, Darth Maul has some good ones too!!)
8. I have to say it again!!! THAT INCREDIBLE, GORGEOUS SEXY ADORABLE FACE!!!!
7. The cleft in his chin
6. His Dimples
5. The way he hangs. (In the melting pit you dirty minded people!! For shame!!)
4. He uses his own voice, unlike a certain overly tattooed character.
3. In one smooth motion, flips out of the melting pit, grabs Qui-Gon's lightsaber, and slices Maul in half.
2. A Jedi Padawan who kills a Sith Apprentice who killed Jedi Master. Now whose more skillful?
And the the top reason is....
1. Obi-Wan Kenobi is ALIVE at the end of the movie!!!!!
You might be a Redneck Jedi if
....
...you use
your lightsaber to cut the bottlecap
off a beer
...you say
"these are not the beers you are
looking for"
...that "disturbance
in the Force" was just last
night's
baked beans
...the inside
of your house looks more like
Dagobah than the
outside
...you call
your young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
...you have
ever used telekinesis to pull your
jeans up
...the Force
isn't the only thing that runs in
your family
...you call
Hank Williams Jr. "master"
...your landspeeder
has a gun rack
...you meditate
to old CCR records
...you call
Yoda your Li'l green buddy
...you have
ever said,
"Anger...Fear...Aggression...Yankees...the
dark side
are they"
...your X-Wing
has a still in it
...your lightsaber
has a beer can crusher in the
base
...there is
more oil in your robes than in your
astromech
droid
...your robes
have the Golden Flour label on
them
...you trim
your beard and find a Mylock
...if you
have ever used a lightsaber to light
the barbecue
grill
...you use
Jawas for a drink holders
...you fight
with a lightsaber in one hand and a
spit cup in
the other
...you use
a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer
truck
...you use
your Jedi healing powers to clear up
your VD
...you think
the best use of your lightsaber is
picking your
teeth
...you ever
lost a hand during a lightsaber
fight because
you had to spit
...your Jedi
robe is camouflage colored
...at least
one wing of your X-Wing is primer
colored
...you can
easily describe the taste of an Ewok
...you can
find no grammatical errors in the way
Yoda talks
...you think
Stormtroopers are just KKK members
with really
good sheets
...you have
ever used the Force in conjunction
with fishing
/ bowling
...your father
has ever said to you, "Shoot,
son, come on
over t' the dark side...it'll
be a hoot."
...you have
ever had your R2 unit use its arc
welding torch
to get the barbecue grill to
light
...you jump-start
your lightsaber off a car
battery
...you beat
the Gammorean Guard in an "ugly"
contest
...your father's
name is Garth Vader
...you got
your lightsaber by sending in 750
Skoal Lids
...you have
ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin'
at your
sister
...you constantly
mistake R2 units for beer kegs
...you count
B.O. as a Jedi power
...you have
ever used a lightsaber to skin a
deer
-Remember that the ark was built
by amateurs and the
Titanic was built by professionals.
;-)
I also was sent this cute little cartoon,
it should work by clicking on it, if it's not already playing. Enjoy!!!
