I have been charged with the responsibility
of bringing to the world, the letters of two of the most wonderful people
I have been privledged to meet. This is a story about love. A love
that overcame many obstacles, and lives on even after the lovers have departed
this world.
These are the letters they sent to each other,
beginning with their meeting. They were entrusted to me by my friend Christian;
his last request being I was to tell their story from their points of view.
Christian passed away earlier this year, a
little over a year after losing his true love Satine. He could not find
the strength to go on without her, after fulfilling his promise to write
their story.
Now I must fulfill my promise to him, to them
both. Remember my dear friends, that the greatest thing you will ever learn
is just to love and to be loved in return.
Toulouse
Truly,
Christian
Please do not think me unkind when I thought of you as the Duke. Harold
Zidler had mentioned a meeting with the Duke for this evening; and
he told
me just before I appeared before you for the dance, that Toulouse was
waving
his handkerchief at the Duke. Well of course when I saw that he was
waving
it at you, I just naturally thought you were the Duke.
I am flattered by your praise of my person. As I'm sure you are
aware as I
do not wish you lead you on, I am a courtesan. I am paid to make men
believe
what they want to believe. I do wish to say I apologize if you thought
something was there between us. You seem like a fine young man
and I don't
mean to hurt your feelings. I never thought you a clod on the dance
floor,
it was commendable that you even kept up with me.
If you wish to attend the Moulin Rouge again, I will be appearing,
and
perhaps I will save you a dance.
With warmest Regards,
Satine
Madamoiselle Satine,
I was overjoyed to receive your response and I can see where the confusion
came in to play. And I forgot to thank you for what
you did for me, you've helped me realize a dream with your quick thinking
to the Duke and to Harold I've landed my first job as a
writer. I hope that I can live up to the praise that you showed me
to the others, I wouldn't want to seem a failure.
Please don't think me forward, but how your letter was worded,
it saddens me Satine it seems that you've never known true
love.And that is such a heart break; for they say that with true love
even the worse things can be bearable, and that nothing else
matters but the one you share your love with..it's such a grand idea,
my father and most of my family would disagree; they would
answer with, well especially my father"I must give up this foolish
obsession with love"but as I write this to you now I have to ask
is it foolish ? I feel that love is one of the greatest things that
we can strive for, to love and to be loved maybe some day I can
even make my father understand this..one can hope.
I'm being asked by Toulouse to attend the performance tonight;
which I shall I hope that I'll be your choice to dance with.If I
maybe so bold I have much more I would like to say to you in person.Would
you be able to give me a private moment so that
we may talk after your performance?
Truly,
Christian
Monsieur Christian,
I was not expecting a response to my letter. I don't wish to chastise
you in
any way, please believe that; but do you really know what would have
happend
if the Duke had known what was really going on? It would have been
the end
for all of us. Harold would never have gotten over losing the Duke
as an
investor.
I feel it is only fair to say to you, that I didn't need to lie to
the Duke
or Harold upon telling them of your talent. You truly are talented
Monsieur
Christian, I'm positive Spectacular Spectacular is going be wonderful.
I wonder why it is that you seem to believe that I have never experienced
love. Love is a game Christian, you would do well to listen to your
father
and family when they tell you of that. I have known from an early age
that
Love is bought and sold; there is nothing more to it than that. Perhaps
in
time you will come to see the truth in that. We must not throw
away our
lives on some silly fantasy.
I of course will be at the Moulin Rouge this evening, if you wish to
dance
with me, I may just be available.
Satine
I will not lie to you, I was rather surprised when you showed up last
night.
I certainly was not expecting you. I find myself a little reluctant
to add,
that I was pleased by your visit. I will also confess that on my way
to the
top of the elephant, I was glancing toward your abode. I did notice
you hard
at work at your typewriter. I can only assume you were writing the
show.
You say that love shouldn't be bought and sold, that it must be cherished.
I
find it difficult to believe in that reasoning. The life I have lived
up
until now, has shown me such a different way of life. perhaps I will
tell
you about it one day. What is it about you that makes me want to tell
you
the deepest parts of myself? With you, I can almost believe anything
is
possible and that love is real.
For the most part what I can tell you of Toulouse, is he is what he
appears
to be. He will never betray a friendship, he has been there for me
from the
very beginning. Toulouse does have a fondness for Absinthe, have he
gotten
you to try it yet? It's all the rage here in Paris, true bohemian culture.
One more thing before I sign off, I wish to thank you Christian, for
a truly
magical evening. I do believe it's the first time I have been swept
off my
feet.
You are going to be bad for business, I can tell.
Truly,
Satine
I enjoyed the time that we spent together and I must say that you're
going to be challenge; for I wish to show you the true side of
what love is. I would never buy your affection Satine, a woman
of your beauty and grace should be swept off her feet and made to
feel like the queen that she is. I know that as I write these
words, you're thinking that the foolish boy is seeing something there that
isn't; but your farthest from the truth and I know that it will take
sometime to convince you of that. I'm willing to wait and take my
time.
I want you to know Satine, that I'm flattered that you feel that you're
able to tell me things from your past and I hope that if you
need to talk, that you'll turn to me as you confidant. I'll let
you know Satine, I'll never betray you and reveal what is said
between the two of us..your trust is to important to me.
As with the Toulouse issue, I'll set that aside for now and maybe when
I'm able to focus on that I will try and find out more about
him. I think that he could be an interesting side story for the public
to read.
I must close for now, because in the morning Harold wants to read what I've written so far so I bid you goodnight.
Christian
I was pleased to hear that you enjoyed our interlude the other evening.
I do
not know why it is that you have such an affect on me. It's not as
if I'm
some silly young innocent girl; but that is how you have made me feel.
I feel I owe it to you, in some strange way, to make you understand
why I'm
not so sure I believe in love. To you, love is what you have
heard about in
songs and read about in books. In real life though Christian, it isn't
like
that. We are from such different worlds you and I, I fear you may not
be
able to understand my position.
I have been living at the Moulin Rouge, living with Harold and Marie
since I
was 6 years old. My parents, god rest them, died of the Plague and
my fate
was to be sent to an orphanage. Marie had been one of the caretakers
at the
institution; I to this day do not now what made her want to take me
away
from there, but one day, she packed up my belongings and brought me
here.
Harold was immediately enthralled and he and Marie raised me.
I was given a proper education, and the finest clothes. I was taught
my
manners, as well as how to manipulate men for my own gain. I was put
to work
here at the age of fourteen. I have been a courtesan ever since.
I owe both
Harold and Marie much, I would not have had the life I have now if
it hadn't
been for them. I would not be as close as I am to realizing my lifelong
dream of being a real actress.
I find though that I think of you often, and gaze to your windows wondering
what you are doing. What is this feeling that has come over me?
Why do I
suddenly feel like the shy young girl that I have never been?
I would like to ask you, if you would, to come calling to my rooms;
I wish
to speak with you again outside of the show. I understand if you find
that
you are too busy, perhaps we may dance again if you find the time.
I fear I may be being far too forward in this.
Sincerly,
Satine
What a welcome surprize to receive your letter in the post.
I sit here reading it in the waning light from
my lamp and I have to tell you the thought of you has put
a smile upon my face; and filled me with joy.
For I find myself in the worst state of depression, for I'm
longing for my family but I'm telling myself
that I shan't let this defeat me. For I will truimph and I
will make my dreams and those of yours come
true; you will be a legitimate actress when the show is ready.
It's admirable what Harold and Marie have done for you and
I respect your loyalty to them; but
please don't take offense the view on love that they taught
you is askew. For love, true love that is will
make you feel like nothing else matters and when someone else
loves you with all of their heart, you'll
feel as if you're on top of the world. It's a wonderful feeling
so I'm told and I hope to find out one day.
I'm flattered that you would like for me to come calling to
your rooms and I admit I find myself
looking to your window hoping to get a glance of you. When
I see you seated in your rooms I
wonder what you're thinking and it saddens me when I see you
in such despair I know that this
doesn't happen often, but when it does I wish that I could
comfort you.
I'll be able to see you after 9:00 p.m. and I'm able to stay
for as long as you require me to and we
can talk about anything that you would like. I also
would like to extend an invitation to you when
you've the time. I found a little out of the way bistro that
I would like to take you if that is
permissable??
I'm needing to close this letter for now. I've show that is
demanding to be brought into the light and I
must carry on until we talk again.
Christian
Christian,
I wish to thank you for responding to my letter with such haste. It
is not
often to find one so eager to coorespond with.
It must be diffcult to be so far away from your family; I must admit
I do
not know what that is like. Please if you would, tell me more of your
family. I wish to know more about you, of your life. I'm sure I must
have
bored you to tears by now with stories of myself. I am sure your family
must
be wonderful for you to miss them so.
I fear I fall into bouts of sadness on occasion, it is nothing to worry
about I assure you. At times I must admit, a certain loneliness
comes over
my heart and it is hard to dispel. You have gladdened my heart with
your
kindness and brought a smile to my face as well. I have no doubt you
will
find the love you so long for. You are truly a caring and compassionate
man.
If it weren't for the fact that I am a courtesan, I may find myself
falling
for you.
I am thrilled that you will visit me in my rooms, past the 9:00pm hour
would
be fine with me, as it is after my performance. Please let me know
when
you
are available, so I can make arrangements. I would also love
to go with you
to the bistro; I'm sure it would be an adventure.
Until we meet again,
Satine
Well I'm glad to tell you something of my life and family. Well
my father is the fifth Duke of York and
with that the family is well established. Father wanted me to
do something noble with my life and
when the idea of becoming a writer was presented to him he was
not thrilled to say the least. My
mother died when I was very young and I know that father misses
her so,but he will never let on. I
guess when I left it was like his world came down around him,
but I promised myself that I would not
return home until I made something of myself.
If you want to know more, I'll tell you when we meet tonight and I can't wait to take you to the bistro.
Christian
It has been only an hour or so since we parted company, but I already miss your presence. I wanted to write to tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed our evening at the bistro. Learning about your family was an interesting and wonderful experience. I can see now where you have gotten your spirit from.
Toulouse has told me he is taking you on a tour of the Bohemian side of Paris. I feel I must warn you that Toulouse's idea of a tour, is staking out a local brothel and drowning himself in Absinthe. I'm sure though, if asked, he would be pleased to show you some of Paris' more famous and reputable sites.
Harold was asking me about you when I returned to the Moulin Rouge. He seems concerned that we are coorsponding quite often and are spending a lot of time together. I do not know why he is worried about this; he has never shown any sort of concern before with any of my friends. Perhaps he senses something is there between us.
I must go now, but I await seeing you tomorrow; please inform me of your tour of Paris.
Yours,
Satine
Yes, Toulouse is an excellent guide to the bohemian side of the
city, he is sometimes very
overwhelming. I tried to get a message to you yesterday,but
was unable, which saddened me greatly.
I'll try again today to send a message to you; I hope that Harold
or Marie don't intercept it first.
I shall be at the Moulin Rouge and I await the chance to dance
with you my love, for when we are
together, the angels weep and heaven seems a little more real..I
know I'm forever the writer, but my
dear Satine you're my greatest inspiration. I must go and speak
with Harold, he is withholding
money from me and I'm running out of funds .
Until Next Time My Love.
Christian
Christian would kill me if he knew what I'm doing, because he
wants this to be a surprise for you and I
felt that you should know what's coming.
Satine, the boy is going to risk it all for you and take the
big step; he wants to marry you. The thing
about Harold was part of it but not all. I'm so happy that the
two of you have found each other and I
hope that your answer to the boy will be yes..for he does love
you with all of his heart Satine.
I must go my dear
Toulouse
Last night was a trip to heaven; how many mortals can say that
they have touched the face of their own
angel? I can and it fills me with love.
Harold was forthcoming with the funds that he owes me, I was
expecting that there was going to be
trouble. He also grumbled something about us as I left, but I
paid it no heed for love has made me feel
invicible and that nothing is impossible when you're loved .
Satine, I apologize for how I'm going to put this forth to you..Satine
my love, I'm wanting your hand in
marriage. I want to take you away from Harold and the Moulin
Rouge. I want to take you somewhere
that love is the only language spoken.
I will be at the Moulin Rouge this evening I hope for your response
my love.
Until we are together,
Love Christian
My darling last night was a paradise beyond what the Gods themselves
could
imagine.
I was worried that Harold was withholding your funds, after all the
work you
have done for us, writing this wonderful show. Of course he would be
grumbling about the whole thing; he still thinks I should tell you
that it's
over. He has become so afraid of the Duke, I'm not exactly sure why.
When I
asked him to explain himself, he abruptly told me it was nothing; and
insisted I tell you that this is heading toward destruction.
Oh Christian, when I read your question to me, it was if the sun had
burst
and was shining down on my face. The Angels in heaven are singing
today my
love. With all of my heart and soul I would be proud to be your wife.
We
will have to leave in secret, or will all due haste; before the Duke
discovers us. I fear what he will do once he finds out.
To finally be with you forever is what I have been dreaming about for
months. Please tell me this dream will come true.
Love forever,
Satine
It's true the boy has spoken of nothing but it for days and I
hope that you'll say yes to him; he loves
you so and it brings me much happiness to see to people in love
find each other.
I will make sure that the boy doesn't do anything silly, for
if he does there would be no wedding and
that would be a shame!!!.
When many years from now I hope that you'll remember your friend
smile, and maybe name one of
your kids after me(I can hope right?)
Until Next Time
Toulouse
I have given Christian my answer, I have told him I will marry him.
Oh
Toulouse my friend, you will never know what you have done for me.
That
night you brought him to me, was the night my life truly began. I can
never
thank you enough for this. Naming one of our children after you
wouldn't be
nearly enough to repay you. You have been a good friend to me over
the
years, and I'm pleased to see how well you have taken to Christian
and him
to you.
I do hope you will attend the wedding. And beware of the Duke Toulouse,
and
keep your watchful eye on Christian.
Au Revoir mon ami,
Satine
You've made this simple writer a happy man that you've said yes;
I will now confide in you this.
Toulouse and the others from my lodgings, have been helping put
something in action. I have a plan
to get us away from Harold and the Duke. Before they know what
the real reason is, we shall be safe
from their prying eyes and we'll finally be free to love each
other in the open.
Now for your part Satine, I want you to wait for Toulouse tonight
by the stage door and he will take
what things that you want to remember the Moulin Rouge. I can't
ask you to totally forget your past;
but you must pack light my love.Also; Toulouse has some documents
for you for our journey away
from here,so guard these well.
I must close for now, Harold is coming and I don't want him to
know this.
So we shall soon be free my love,
Love You
Christian
How much longer must we wait until we can be together in the open? Do
we
wait until after the show opens? Or do we leave before then? The rehearsal
we are supposed to have tonight, The Duke wishes to attend. he says
he
wishes to see how his money is being invested. I suspect there is another
reason for his attendance this evening.
I will await Toulouse at the stage door during one of the breaks in
the
rehearsal. There isn't a lot I wish to bring with me; as my life has
been
non-exsistant until you came into it.
Harold has been hovering almost non-stop lately; it's these ridiculous
fainting spells I have been having recently. I told Marie not to worry,
they
are just the silly costumes. They both have been acting quite attentive
to
me lately; ever since the doctor was called the last time.
I will close since I must get this letter safely to you.
All my love,
Satine
You've made me so happy! What a joyous occasion we will celebrate
in the only way that I know
how..but for you mon cher I will tone it down. I know that
I can get carried away and I admit I've
sometimes been carried out;but I wish to live this life to the
fullest, for we have but one go around so I
want to make the most of it.
I shall be at the Rouge tonight and so please mon cher be ready
for this all most go off with out a
hitch; one slip and we are all in it Satine so be careful. The
boy has been on cloud nine since
you've answered him. I remember the awkward boy when we first
met and my how Christian has
changed; he has excepted the bohemian culture very easy and I
am privledged to call him a friend.
So Satine mon cher, I will close for now so I can prepare for
this evening and pray to god that there
are no problems..which I know there will not be because the gods
smiled when the two of you where
brought together.
Until tonight Mon Cher
Toulouse
I must tell you something and you must promise not to tell Christian
a word
of this. I know you both attended the Moulin Rouge last night for
rehearsals, and I was not in attendance. I realize he is jealous
of the
Duke for he did not believe the reason I missed our meeting afterwards.
He
questioned me, and when I told him I was ill, he refused to believe
it.
Toulouse, I was in fact ill; I did not lie to Christian. You and he
both
know of the fainting spells I have been having recently. I was on my
way to
the rehearsal, when I started to cough uncontrollably, and finally
fainted.
Now Toulouse, you must promise me not to tell Christian of what i'm
about to
tell you. When I was coughing my dear friend, I was bringing up blood.
This
hasn't been the first time,and the doctor was called. I no not what
he said,
for I was unconscious. Harold and Marie know, but they refuse to tell
me
what he said. I am worried my friend, they seem to be acting
rather
strange. Harold continuously insists I give up Christian.
I must go now, Harold is knocking on my door, something about the Duke
and
dinner this evening in the tower. I will try to hold him off for one
last
time.
until this evening mon cheri,
Satine
I apologize for not writing until now, but the Duke's manservant
has been watching my every move so
I have to be on my guard. I hope you understand why I had to
be careful.
I hope that Toulouse met you and was able to get the things that
you wanted to take and he gave the
documents and travel tickets..Hide these don't let anyone know,
for if they are found that will be the
end of the two of us,so take care my love.
I'll be at the rehearsal tonight, I hope that I can steal you
away for a few moments to ourselves; but if
that is impossible I'll meet you in the park on Sunday at the
usual time.
I can't wait to see you my dearest one
Love,
Christian
At this moment I feel my heart is being torn out. What a horrible scene
tonight at the rehearsal. From the way the Duke was acting, stating
he
wanted the ending to be changed, I was worried he was about do you
great
bodily harm.
I have learned my dear Christian, that Lily intentionally let the Duke
in on
our relationship. She had mentioned thinking the ending silly;
why would a
courtesan pick a poor writer instead of the Maharaja. He understood
her
meaning my dear one. That is why he wants the ending to be the courtesan
picking the Maharaja, instead of the sitar player.
I saw the look on your face dear one, when I said I would join him
for
dinner this evening. Please don't be cross with me; I do this for us,
he
could destroy everything. I can't let him hurt us Christian, not when
we
have come so far.
Please know that I love you, "Come What May", and forgive me what I
must do.
forever yours,
Satine
My dear friend Toulouse, You know what transpired at the rehearsal this
evening. I talked to Christian and tried to reassure him that meeting
the
Duke tonight in the tower, was only a means of easing his anger. I
must make
him think I'm only using Christian for our gain. Please my dear friend,
while i"m at the tower with the Duke, take Christian's mind away from
me.
Iknow he is jealous of my having to be with the Duke, no matter what
he
tells me; but this must be done.
Toulouse, I fear he will think ill of me; as will you no doubt. I can't
blame you, but I do this only to protect you all.
I am also worried that Harold and Marie are keeping what the Doctor
told
them from me. they say it's nothing to worry about, but I can't help
but
wonder. I feel weaker by the day, I haven't the energy I once did my
friend.
I do believe I am in need of a little time off after the show opens.
Thank
you, I know I can trust you with my secret.
Satine
Satine,
I just want you to realize that I'll not betray your trust in me; for
mon ami we have known each other many years and I would
hate to lose a good friend like you over this. I'll say this it worries
me that they have kept this secret from you and will not tell
you what the doctor has said on the matter it concerns me so.
Christian has been so busy lately with the show and the plans that
he is doing; the rest of us will help, for we are very fond of the
two of you and want you to be happy above all things. I will say this
as well, the Duke has been snooping around the
lodgings and so everyone is on edge. Satine my dear, he misses you
so the boy longs to be with you I'll do what I can to help of
course.
But I must close for now mon cher I have things to take care of for
Christian so I'll close for now.
Toulouse
I must close for I'm being called to a meeting with Harold and the Duke so keep the faith
Christian
I received your letter by the usual way and I'll make sure that
when you go to the tower with that
toad of a duke the boy will be occupied. I'm here for you mon
ami as I have been since the first days.
You can always count on Toulouse my dear; I've not touched a drop of
absinthe since Christian put his
plan into effect as Christian would say"We must have a clear
head for this"and my dear one my head
has never been so clear.
I will do something for you I will look for the doctor that
was at the Rouge that night and I will bring
him to the side door during a break in rehearsal and then you
may find out for yourself mon cher what
they have been keeping from you all this time.
I have to close for there is a knock at the door and I assume
that is Christian; so I'll close and not to
worry your old friend will get you through this I promise.
Until tonight Mon Ami,
Toulouse
You are the kindest friend I have or could ever want in my life. YOu
have
seen me through so much already, and I can never repay you for what
you have
done for me and for Christian.
Harold was overjoyed when I informed him of my meeting with the Duke
this
evening in the tower. He keeps insisting it's for the best, and it's
the way
it's supposed to be. If I refuse, our dearly beloved Moulin Rouge would
cease to exsist. I don't care about the Moulin Rouge anymore; I'm only
doing
this for you all. For you and Christian, and the others who have worked
so
hard on this show.
I would be appreciative if you could bring the doctor tonight to my
rooms, I
would like to hear what Harold and Marie are keeping. please let me
know if
you are able to find him. and Toulouse, thank you from the deepest
part of
my heart, for all you are doing for Christian. He needs you now.
Truly,
Satine
I write this with much saddness in my heart; it pains me so to
see you have to curry the favour of that
man but I'll try not to be jealous..I'll try
Lily has done us great harm and I feel I made a scene with the
rest of the troupe when she got into
my face. I did the unthinkable, I shoved her to the floor; I
felt such rage and such pain she shattered
such a beautiful dream,I hope that we'll survive my love.
Toulouse feels that I need to clear my head, for I think that
he is right if I stay here with the others right
now I don't know what I'll do. Perhaps I'll go for a walk to
clear my head and then maybe I'll
return..maybe I just don't know.
I will close for now but I think of you,
Love
Christian
My darling Christian,
It felt so good to have you hold me earlier this evening. The meeting
with
the Duke was a completely and utter disaster. I saw you walking by
as did
the Duke, and I couldn't go through with it. He was extremely
upset with
me. I'm not sure if I should tell you this or not, but I feel
I can't keep
it from you either. Christian, when the Duke saw you and my reaction
to
seeing you, he went insane. He attacked me, please don't worry my love,
it's
nothing I haven't gotten used to. That's the reason I was in such a
state
when I came to see you. I can't pretend anymore Christian, I don't
want to.
I only want to love you my dear. You have shown me what true love can
really
be. I will always be grateful to you for that. I'm in my rooms now
packing
like we planned. I still have the travel papers,that is if you still
want me
mylove. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave me behind.
I fear that
may be so.
I will be returning shortly but for now Harold has discovered what I'm
doing, and will no doubt try to talk me out of my plan. I refuse to
let him
this time.
We will be together soon my love.
Forver,
Satine
I take simple pleasure in the happiness that the two of you have
found in eachother and I want only
the best for both of you,Harold mon cher has been under foot
as of late I think Lily has been up to
something I'm not sure as to what for Harold and I can barely
stand eachother but now he just won't
leave me alone,so be careful mon ami I think Harold maybe on
to what Christian has been planning.
I'll leave this very afternoon to find the doctor and I'll bring
him to your rooms and I promise that
you'll have the answers that you're searching for there will
be no more secrets from you but I want
you to do something for your old friend I want you to rest this
evening conserve your strength the
worst is yet to come I fear but we'll survive.
I'll close for now take care mon ami and remember that your not
far from this old heartand that you
are in my thoughts.
Yours,
Toulouse
When I held you in my arms it was like the warmth of the sun radiating
through my body; how I hate
when we only have those fleeting moments together.But we
must until the plan can be put into
action. It angers me so to hear what that boorish man had done
to you, my blood burned with rage
and I wanted to take him into the street and beat him like the
animal he is. My dearest one when we
are far away from The Moulin Rouge and all of them, I will show
true love in such a way that you'll be
basked in it's warm glow forever. I make this vow to you; I'll
never raise my hand to you as the
duke did .
Satine my love, never question how I feel about you; that has
not changed and it never will. I want you
to be my wife and I want us to be happy together. Oh Satine I
know that you'll enjoy England ,so
pack my love and don't let Harold sway you with his talk.We are
destined to be together and they
can't stop that always remember that Satine.
Sweet Kisses To You,
Christian
This will be one of the hardest letters I have ever had to write in
my life.
I now know what the secret is that Harold and Marie have been
keeping from
me. Before I get to that though, there is something I must do
and I fear
you will think ill of me for it. You must promise me that once
you know
this secret, you will not tell another living soul, including and especially
Christian. I trust your word Toulouse, you have not failed me, and
I do not
assume you will now. I confess it to you, because the pain that is
in my
heart now threatens to overwhelm me.
Tonight as you know, I went to the tower to meet with the Duke; that
meeting
turned disasterous. We were out on the balcony, I happened to see Christian
walking by and I couldn't go through with it. The Duke saw him as well,
and
immediately knew why I was hesitating. Lily had told him what was going
on.
I do not know what had possessed her to do so. He was extremely angry;
he
attacked me Toulouse. I am quite certain he would have done me greater
harm
had it not been for my rescuer.
He took me to Christian under my request, and we made plans to leave
tonight. As I was writing a letter to say goodbye to my friends,
Harold
came in and told me it was no use; that I should give Christian up.
I told
him all my life he had made me believe I was only worth what someone
would
pay for me. I got my coat on and as I was going out the door, he suddenly
told me what the doctor had said about my condition.
Toulouse, when he told me this, I asked him if it was a trick, and he
said
no, that the doctor had told him and Marie. I later confirmed it with
the
doctor. What I now tell you is the truth.
Toulouse my dear good friend, I am dying. Seeing it on paper this way
doesn't make it anymore real; and I have prayed and prayed that it's
not so.
I have consumption, the doctor doesn't give me much longer to
live. I'm
afraid Toulouse, I do not want to die. There is so much that I have
wanted
to do with my life. I have finally found Christian and true happiness
and
it's being taken away.
Please indulge my self pity for a moment, for I will not dwell on myself
for
long. I must now tell Christian I have never loved him and was only
using
him. It is better this way my friend, Harold was right all along, I
must let
him go. Please be there for him, he will need you now. I plan to go
to him
tomorrow morning.
I will still do the show, as Harold says, "the Show must go on". Please
do
not think ill of me, I could not bear you hating me as well as Christian.
I
plan on leaving Christian, that I pray you will give to him once I'm
gone to
tell him the truth. That will be my last request of you.
Your true friend,
Satine
I am not sure why I'm writing this letter, except to maybe make sure
what I
have told you this morning is clear.
When the Duke came to see me last night after I left you, he was most
apologetic for the way he acted at the tower. He has offered
me everything
I have ever dreamed of. He has promised to make me a star, and I have
always
wanted to be a real actress; he can make that happen for me.
The difference between us Christian is that you can leave anytime you
want
to. You can go back home and be with your family when your adventrue
is
done. This is not the case for me, this is my home. The Moulin Rouge
is my
home, and I will not see it fall to ruin. I can't leave Harold in such
a
state after all he has done for me.
We have been living a fantasy since day one. It has been fun
and
distracting for a time, but now I must return to my real life; to my
true
purpose. I'm sorry if i lead you to believe something I shouldn't
have. I
will return the travel papers to you, or I shall give them to Toulouse.
I am the courtesan Christian, and in this story, I choose the Maharaja.
Have a safe journey if you choose to return to England.
Sincerly,
Satine
I found myself fighting back tears when I found your letter I
still don't see or fathom after what that
man has done to you that you would go with him I just can't believe
it..it makes no sense .
I understand your loyalty to the Moulin Rouge and to Harold but
I want you to understand as well
and bear in mind this is from my view that your faith in them
is not returned for look at how things
have changed between us,it shatters my heart when I think to
how we where to how we are now
where did I go wrong by you Satine am I the one at fault..did
I push to hard for us to be together..or
was I the naive school boy in believing that a beautiful woman
like you could fall for someone like me.
Toulouse has been trying to comfort me and he is a true friend
but I wish that he would leave me to
my misery..I told you Satine that I would love you "Come What
May"and you may not want to hear
this but with all my heart and soul I still love you and I wish
that you felt the same for me still..I wish
that still.
I've yet to decide wether I'll return to England I can't seem
to focus on that as of yet.my father would
feel justified in what has happened to me and I will never live
this down once he knows..but I guess
it's my cross to bear.
Please say that you'll meet me one last time.
Christian
My heart was saddened to read that one such as you is being taken
from us much before her time,I
hoped that as we got older mon cher that we would be able to
talk of the days at the Moulin Rouge
and look back and smile but fate has other plans.
I don't think ill of you I've admired your strength and character
from the early days of our meeting
and I will do as you ask I will keep this secret to my heart..but
I feel that you should tell him if
anything you've got to be honest with him he will see you through
this I know that.
I'll try and see you before the performance and I want to talk
some more and I hope that you'll grant
this request to me.
I'll see you soon
Toulouse.
Satine,
My heart was torn from my chest when I read your letter how after all
that odious man has done to you will go with
him..explain this to me make me truly understand for I'll admit that
at this moment I do not.
So you're saying to me now after all that we've been through and
suffered for is for not that you where playing with the heart of
a foolish boy and that I mean nothing to..Satine you've made my world
complete and I want us to be together don't turn me
away now..please don't turn me away.
If you wish to return the papers Toulouse will get them from you and
anything else that you think that I may want to remember
you by,this is so hard Satine why are you pushing me away..why??
I still Love You
Christian
I truly am sorry if I have hurt you in anyway. I do remember telling
you in
the beginning I couldn't fall in love with anyone; that I was paid
to make
men believe what they wanted to. To put this bluntly, we needed
you
Christian, your talent, to make sure the show was fantastic so the
Duke
would invest.
I don't know how I can make you understand, maybe you never will, since
you
have come from such a sheltered upbringing. I'm sure you know you should
be
grateful for what you have, to be able to go home to a family..is the
most
precious thing to have in life.
I will give the papers to Toulouse, I have written to him asking him
to come
and get them. I have yet to receive a response from him. Christian,
you are
a good man, you deserve far better then this, and far better then what
I am
able to give you. The show opens in a couple of days, after that we
must
part ways forever.
Sincerly,
Satine
I find it difficult to write this letter; knowing what you must think
of me.
I never tried to hurt you in anyway, I do hope you know that. This
was a
business arrangement made with the Duke before you came to the Moulin
Rouge.
Christian, I don't know how to make you understand my position in this
matter. It seems that every time I try, you find a way to discredit
what I
have said. I do not want to seem like the devil here and I do not know
what
to say to you. How can I make you understand something that you
have never
had to live with? That you have never had to feel? HOw can you know
the
feeling of only being worth what someone would pay for you? Christian,
that
is what I am, I'm a courtesan. I'm not the sweet innocent girl you
would
make me out to be.
I was a fool to believe in love. A fool to believe that dreams could
be made
real. It all ends today Christian; it all ends today.
Another failed romance...does anybody know what we are living for?
I've got
to find the will to carry on. After all the show must go on.
I will give Toulouse the papers this evening at the opening of the show.
I
assume you will be in attendance? I do hope the show will go
well for all
involved.
I must close for now, for I am tired and need to rest for the performance;
it seems energy is so hard to find these days. Take care Christian,
know
that I wish you well.
Truly,
Satine
Toulouse
My Dearest Christian,
If you are reading this letter, then I am now gone. I am so terribly
sorry
that I never told you that I was dying my love. For one, I could
not bear to
hurt you in such a way; and for another I knew you would not
leave my side
and I desperately needed you to do so.
Christian, I will tell you now of why I pushed you away in those
last few
days. It broke my heart to not have you with me when I
needed you the most,
but it was a risk I had to take.
My dearest one, the Duke threatened to kill you if we were ever
together
again. Harold told me the night we made the plans to leave
and he would
have done it if given half the chance. I never wanted to
hurt you like I
did; I never wanted your last memories of me to be painful; but
I would
rather have you hate me then to have the Duke destroy you. I
could never
allow that to happen.
Dearest, dearest Christian, you have been the ray of sunlight
shining in my
life in these past few months. You have given me my heart's desire
and
deepest dreams. You made me believe in love again, in magic.
To have felt
the strongest of passion has made my life worthwhile. You have
given me a
treasure I can take with me, and that you can hold until we see
each other
again.
I ask of you one last favour, I pray that you will grant it; I
ask you to
write our story Christian. Tell the world that there is
such a thing as
true love; that two people such as us, found each other in the
wrong time
and place and managed to light up the sky; to burn as bright
as the
brightest star.
You have got to go on Christian, do me this honour. Make
your dream come
true, go on and be the famous writer I always knew you would
be. Go on, and
our love will live in you, until we are reunited again.
Please tell Toulouse that I love him as well, he has always been
such a good
friend to me.
Goodbye my love, but not forever; I will be watching you from above.
For eternity..
Satine
Toulouse
The last word is written, the story has been told. I've
kept my word my love, I've told the tale of a love
that burned brighter than any star in the heavens and disappeared
just as fast.
I've devoted so much of myself to the telling of this
tale, that my body can't go on and I yearn to rest
and maybe dream of being held in your arms once again. I miss
you so much my dearest one, but I feel
that I shall be with you soon.
Please don't be angry Satine, I tried to carry
on, I tried to keep my promise to you; but my heart and
my soul had been shattered when the lord took you from me. May
I join you now my love? I'm lonely
and I wish your company.
In my delusions I've seen you my dearest one and
I hoped against hope that they were real, but
even in the dream of madness that I find myself slipping into
more and more, as my body yearns for
rest I find contentment and at last peace over my soul.
I shall now sleep my love and when I awake, I shall be with
you and our love shall be eternal and I'll
never leave your arms or your embrace..I'm coming home Satine,
I'm not scared, I'm ready..I shall see
you soon.
To my dear friend Toulouse, I don't want you to mourn me mon
ami, you did your best and I must
applaud your effort; but my heart and my soul was destroyed when
she was taken from me. I shall
miss you my friend, but I shall wait for you and when your time
comes to join us on the other
side, you'll be greeted with open arms.
Yours Eternally
Christian