SummerSlam: Highway To Hell


-VS-
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin -VS- The Undertaker
~Pre-match thoughts~
-I have no idea who will win this one, but it should be good.
-WOW!!! A main event with actual wrestlers not some lame ass celebrities, what a concept.
Winner: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
~Post-Match thoughts~
-The best part was when the Undertaker jumped on the table and it didn't break. It must suck if you speak Spanish and every PPV the Spanish Announcers get killed. And I love it when the fat Spanish guy just lays there like a beached whale.
-And we saw a clean pin, WOW I forgot what those look like.
-VS-w/
The Rock(The best damn IC there ever was) -VS- HHH w/Chyna
~Pre-match thoughts~
-Remember when The Rock beat HHH for his first IC title? Well I do.
-As much as I like the Rock, I think it is time for him to lose the belt and this is when it will happen.
Winner: HHH
~Post-match thoughts~
-This would of been a hell of alot better if HHH's knee wasn't all messed up, because it looked lame when the Rock was at the top of the ladder and HHH was outside and the Rock would just stand there until HHH got back in the ring.
-But the match had some good spots like HHH's baseball slide on the ladder in the Rock's face, and the people's elbow with HHH on the ladder.
-Did they really have to bring in second ladder? They didn't even use it.
-The guys that sing the Dx song suck, they shouldn't let them sing live ever again.

-VS-
Kane and Mankind(champs)w/ Paul Bearer -VS- The New Age Outlaws
~Pre-match thoughts~
-The Outlaws kick ass but Kane and Mankind kick more ass.
-Remember when Kane was indestructible? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry kicks his ass.
-Why the hell isn't Mankind the Heavyweight champ? He's the greatest think since sliced bread yet he has the stupid Tag Title.
-Mankind is still a sick fuck.
Winners: The New Age Outlaws
~Post-match thoughts~
-Mankind is the greatest wrestling personality ever, screw Austin, Mick Foley is God.
-"I have 13 words for you: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood". HAHAHAHA classic.
-Mankind will be the Heavyweight champ by the end of next year, if he's still alive.
-I thought the Roaddog's shirt said "PLACE BEEF HERE" and it has an arrow pointing to his ass, but it really said "PLACE BELT HERE".
-The Kane -VS- God feud should be good, but how is God going to get the mandible claw on him?
-VS-
D'Lo Brown(champ) -VS- Val Venis
~Pre-match thoughts~
-HELLOOOOOO LADIES, we have a new champ.
Winner: D'Lo by DQ
~Post-match thoughts~
-I like it how D'Lo is from a different country every match. "Formerly from Chicago, now from Helsinki, Finland". That's some funny stuff.
-The end was pretty lame.
-VS-
Ken Shamrock -VS- Owen Hart
~Pre-match thoughts~
-This Lion's den is a nine foot deep pit so it should be pretty cool.
-I say Shamrock wins, even though Severn will interfere. That will set up the Severn/Shamrock fight.
Winner: Ken "I scream like a little girl" Shamrock
~Post-match thoughts~
-That Lion's Den kicked ass.
-It was cool how Shammy was running up the walls and how he reversed the Dragon Sleeper, even though I knew that's how he would get out.
-I would like to see Shammy and Severn fight in the Lion's Den.
-Severn has the coolest theme music ever.
---Hair -VS- Hair Match---
w/-VS-
Double J w/ Southern Justice -VS- X(for the love of God, Vince change my name, PLEASE VINCE!!!!)Pac
~Pre-match thoughts~
-God damn I hate X-Pac's name.
-Take a picture of Double J before the match because it will be the last time you will see him with hair.
Winner: X-(My name sucks worse than Goldberg)Pac
~Post-match thoughts~
-It was funny at the end how FedEX-Pac said shit like twenty times.
-Why the fuck was "the Fink" in Dx? He's like Degeneration G, and would the old Dx(HHH,HBK& Chyna)let the Fink in Dx? Hell no, the new Dx is getting weak.
---Mixed Tag-Team Match---

-VS-
Jackie/Marc Mero -VS- Sable/???
~Pre-match thoughts~
-Will Jackie keep her boobs in check? Or will we get to see some Sable nipples? We'll find out.
-Now I've been hearing that Edge, Gangrel or Butterbean will be the mystery person. I hope to god it's not Butterbean, he sucks.
-This is just some more T&A, but I'm not complaining.
Winners:Sable and Edge
~Post-match-thoughts~
-Edge was a good choice for a partner. From far away it looked like Chris Jericho was in the ring.
-I wouldn't mind getting a Sablecanrana.
-Thank Mankind(He's God remember) that Butterbean wasn't the mystery partner.
-OH MANKIND I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING! Doesn't Butter"I look like Curly"bean have a contract for TWO matches? He already fought Marc"my wife is more popular that I'll ever be" Mero and he has one more match to go. Think about it, Butterbean(Toughman champion) and Bart"I wish I was my brother" Gunn(the Brawl For All champ) one on one to see who is the real Toughguy. I hope that doesn't happen.
w/
-VS-
Kurrgan,Golga,Silva w/Luna -VS- Kaientai w/Yamiguchi-San and his hot wife
~Pre-match thoughts~
-Those freaks better dance or I'll never watch the WWF again.................OK I'll still watch. What am I going to watch, WCW??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
-The Freaks are gonna kick some Japanese ass.
-Where did this match come from? Wasn't Kaianti fighting Val Venis last week?
Winners: The Oddities
~Post-match thoughts~
-It looked like the Oddities were fighting children.
-The fat bald Japanese guy, I think it's Togo, looks like Kerney from the Simpsons.
-They danced WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
They had a good "Goldberg Sucks" chants going, HAHA and there was people wearing "Goldberg Sucks"shirts. I Love New York.
Foley is still God.
This was better than Road Wild, a hell of alot better.
Sometimes the audience would chant "D'Lo Sucks" then two seconds later they would chant "D'Lo", same thing with the Rock chants make up your damn minds.

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