Survivor Series 1999

vsvs
-Special Ref-

Triple H
vs
The Rock
vs
~~Austin~~The Big Show

Who I want to win: The Rock
Who will win: The Rock
Winner: The Big Show
Loser: The Big Show's dad
~Pre-match thoughts~
-I really hope that Vince doesn't turn dX. That would be sooooo stupid. Plus they already did that with the Minisry.
-Or Vince and Austin will turn evil, because Austin sucks and Vince is pure evil.
~Post-match thoughts~
-It's funny how the Big Show sold out his dad for the title.
-I bet everyone thought the third man was going to be Test and I'll be damned it wasn't him.
-Speaking of Test, it would be cool if he was marrying Stephanie for the money. That's a good way to turn him evil.
-I hope that the WWF tell us who was driving the car that hit Austin, not like WCW who left us hanging with the Hummer driver.
-It would of been funny if the third guy was the Bulldog or the Anvil so Vince can screw another Hart famliy member.
-It would be even more funny if people started calling Bret a nugget. They can have signs saying "Bret is the real nugget" or something like that. That would be great.

Chyna w/Miss Kitty vs Chris Jericho
Who I want to win: Jericho
Who will win: Jericho
Winner: Chyna
Loser: The stupid camera guys who didn't show Miss Kitty's ass more
~Pre-match thoughts~
-Didn't they do this angle with Jeff Jarrett?
~Post-match thoughts~
-What's with Chyna's new song? It sucks.
-Why can't they show Kitty's ass more? Or let's see some boobs.
-Chyna needs a new finisher if she wants to get away from HHH. The top rope Pedigree sounds cool, but it looks retarded.

Hollys & Too Much
vs
Edge/Christian & Hardys
Who I want to win: Too Cool/Hollys
Who will win:Edge/Christian/Hardyz
Winner: Hardcore Holly
Loser:The Hardyz for not even looking at Terri
~Pre-match thoughts~
-Why do the Hardyz have Terri if they're not even going to do anything with her. Did they fight in that tournament for the money?
~Post-match thoughts~
-I like it how the King denies being Brian's dad, because they look exactly the same and they sound the same. They should get a DNA test like Paul Bearer and Kane had.
-God damn is Jeff Hardy nuts. One day he's going to break his neck, and he won't even be fighting D'Lo.

Boss Man/Prince Albert/Viscera/Mideon
vs
The Big Show
Who I want to win: Bossman's team
Who will win: Big Show's team
Winner: The Big Show
Loser: The rest of the Big Show's team
~Pre-match thoughts~
-The Bossman is my new favorite wrestler. What he did at the funeral was the funniest thing I ever saw. I almost pissed my pants when the Big Show was surfing on the casket.
-When the Bossman was hooking up the casket to the car he was saying "Daddy always wanted to be a drag queen." "I'm gonna make him a drag queen." So I hope that he wheels out the dad dressed up like a chick to destract the Big Show. That would be awesome.
-Or it would be funny if the Bossman cooked the dad and made the Big Show eat him.
-It's nice to see that Viscera is alive. HAHAHA!!
~Post-match thoughts~
-It's a shame that Viscera cheated death just to get beat in two seconds.
-It's also a shame that the Bossman didn't do anything cool with the corpse.

Val/Henry/Gangrel/Blackman vs Bulldog/Posse
Who I want to win: Val's team
Who will win:Bulldog's team
Winner: Val and Mark
Loser: Everyone in this match.
~Pre-match thoughts~
-Where the hell did this match come from?
-Why are Val and Blackman teaming up? Don't they hate each other?
~Post-match thoughts~
-It's funny how everyone of these guys used to be cool. Now they suck ass. Val used to be good when he first started, he was funny, now he sucks. Gangrel used to be really cool, but since leaving the Brood, he started to suck. Blackman was cool when he was fighting Shamrock, today he sucks. Same thing with everyone else. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Godfather/D'Lo/Headbangers
vs
Acolytes/Dudley Boyz
Who I want to win: Acolytes and Dudleyz
Who will win: Acolytes and Dudleyz
Winner: D'Lo and the Godfather
Loser: My two favorite teams
~Pre-match thoughts~
-I say that the Acolytes should never wrestle. Just let them have bar room fights every week. Not only do we get to see them whup some ass, we get to hear Faarooq's beautiful voice.
-I wonder if everyone's scared to fight D'Lo. I know I wouldn't want to fight him, he might "slip" and kill you. But one day he'll get what he deserves. Remember what happened to Owen, who broke Austin's neck.
~Post-match thoughts~
-The only good part is the Headbangers dressing up like pimps. It reminded me of when Goldust was Pimpdust. They should of painted their faces black. That would of been better.
-What happened to the Dudley Boyz? They would kill anyone in ECW now they suck. Bubba needs to start dancing again.

New Age Outlaws vs Mankind/Snow
Who I want to win: Mankind/Snow
Who will win:The Outlaws
Winner: The Outlaws
Loser: Stupid Mr. Ass
~Pre-match thoughts~
-A couple of days before this whole Al Snow action figure controversy I was at a toy store with my cousin and aunt and they were looking for a birthday present for my cousin's friend (who likes wrestling). So I suggest a Rock figure because what kid doesn't like the Rock? And I my aunt goes "I'm not buying him a nigger figure." And I'm like "he's Samoan." To what she replies "Yeah, he's a nigger." I'm not a racist, I hate everyone equally, but I was laughing my ass of because she didn't whisper it, she said it all loud and I ran away before we got shot at. After a couple of minutes hiding behind the bikes I went back to where the action figures were and they're still there looking for a good one. I was about to show her a Mark Henry figure but I didn't want to die so I point out the Al Snow w/ Head toy and I said jokingly that it promotes woman abuse. So it would be cool if I started the "Head is a woman who didn't survive a bout with muscle bound wrestlers" controversy.
~Post-match thoughts~
-Did Mr. Ass lose his luggage? First he was all late, then he didn't have his belt, plus he wasn't wearing his regular tights. Maybe if he would stop having gay sex with everyone his head would be in the right place. Pun intended.
-Why was Al Snow stealing ECW's Danny Doring's movies? Can't he make up his own? Unoriginal bastard.

Ivory/Jackie/Luna/Terri
vs
Tori/Debra/Moolah/Young
Who I want to win: Ivory's team
Who will win: Ivory's team
Winner: Moolah's team
Loser: Poor Ivory
~Pre-match thoughts~
-It would be cool if Moolah and and Mae died and then everyone else just started dyking it out. We know they're all lesbians, so I say let them show us what kind of lesbians they are.
~Post-match thoughts~
-Why must Ivory keep on losing to Moolah? Ivory is cool. Moolah is old. Ivory is hot. Moolah is a dinosaur. Ivory has a nice ass. Moolah has a giant ass. I could go on but I'll stop now.

X-Pac vs Kane
Who I want to win: Kane
Who will win: Kane
Winner: X-Pac
Loser:Kane, for liking Tori
~Pre-match thoughts~
-How did X-Pac know that Kane's dick is burned? He must be, to quote Mankind, a "pecker-checker".
-It's funny how Kane went from a Satanic monster, to a big red retard, to a guy with a burnt wiener.
-Why is Kane with Tori? The King said that they both have something in common. I think it's that she was in a fire too. God damn is she ugly.
~Post-match thoughts~
-Did anyone notice that Tori has Man Hands? She's like a creature out of Greek Mythology.

Kurt Angle vs Shawn Stasiak
Who I want to win: Who cares
Who will win: Kurt Angle
Winner: Angle
Loser: Me
~Pre-match thoughts~
-Pee break.
~Post-match thoughts~
-See I was right.
-Does Angle have Lex Luger's old music?

Prediction Percentage: 3 out of 10

-JR and the King fighting like schoolgirls was funny. JR was laying the sarcasm down pretty thick and the King was throwing one-liners back. It was great.
-Did anyone see when JR was coming back from checking on Austin the count down to Y2J was on two and he had to run across the fireworks before they went off? He must of shit his pants.
-It's a good thing that they killed off Austin, but we all know he'll get the belt back on RAW. Stupid Austin.

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