All right, all right. I know you guys have been waiting for these quotes for a long time. Please note that I have only begun the list, and more are on the way. The quote will be written, followed by who said it.

"It says it's for dogs, but she can't read."

-Homer

"You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't."

-Bart

"I think Bart's stupid again, Mom."

-Lisa

"All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale."

-Bart

"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."

-Homer

"The answers to life aren't at the bottom of a bottle! *chuckle* They're on TV!"

-Homer

"Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub."

-Bart

"I didn't do it. No-one saw me do it. No-one can prove anything

-Bart

"A boy without mischeif is like a bowling ball without a liquid center."

-Homer

"Let it out, Marge. Laugh loud. Laugh out loud. You'll lose weight."

-Jacques

"Why are all the good things in life so tasty?"

-Homer

"Ah, the life of a frog. That's the life for me."

-Bart

"Your husband sees you as nothing."

-Marvin Monroe

"Ooh, a political discussion at our table. I feel like a Kennedy!"

-Lisa

"Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing!"

-Bart

"A Simpson on a T-Shirt. I never thought I'd see the day!"

-Marge

"You've been rubbing my nose in it since I got here! Your family is better than my family; Your beer comes from farther away than my beer; You and your son like eachother; Your wife's but is higher than my wife's butt! You make me sick!!!!"

-Homer

"Mom, It's broken. Mom, it's broken. Mom, it's broken. Mom it's broken!!!"

-Bart

"I'd say something comforting, but...you know....my voice!"

-Jackie Bouvier

"If you miss it on Saturday, I'd advise you to start looking for a child therapist on Sunday."

-Lisa

"But, Mom! If you take away our cartoons, we'll grow up without a sense of humour and be robots!"

-Lisa

"You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. (listens) I told you, my baby beat me up! (listens) Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up!"

-Homer

Of course, you realize that this could not possible be the only funny things ever said on the show, but have patience....there are more coming.