All right, all right. I know you guys have been waiting for these quotes for a long time. Please note that I have only begun the list, and more are on the way. The quote will be written, followed by who said it.
"It says it's for dogs, but she can't read."
"You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't."
"I think Bart's stupid again, Mom."
"All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale."
"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."
"The answers to life aren't at the bottom of a bottle! *chuckle* They're on TV!"
"Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub."
"I didn't do it. No-one saw me do it. No-one can prove anything
"A boy without mischeif is like a bowling ball without a liquid center."
"Let it out, Marge. Laugh loud. Laugh out loud. You'll lose weight."
"Why are all the good things in life so tasty?"
"Ah, the life of a frog. That's the life for me."
"Your husband sees you as nothing."
"Ooh, a political discussion at our table. I feel like a Kennedy!"
"Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing!"
"A Simpson on a T-Shirt. I never thought I'd see the day!"
"You've been rubbing my nose in it since I got here! Your family is better than my family; Your beer comes from farther away than my beer; You and your son like eachother; Your wife's but is higher than my wife's butt! You make me sick!!!!"
"Mom, It's broken. Mom, it's broken. Mom, it's broken. Mom it's broken!!!"
"I'd say something comforting, but...you know....my voice!"
"If you miss it on Saturday, I'd advise you to start looking for a child therapist on Sunday."
"But, Mom! If you take away our cartoons, we'll grow up without a sense of humour and be robots!"
"You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. (listens) I told you, my baby beat me up! (listens) Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up!"
Of course, you realize that this could not possible be the only funny things ever said on the show, but have patience....there are more coming.