Technology for Country Folk...

 
 
 1.  LOG ON:  Makin a wood stove hotter.
 
 2.  LOG OFF:  Don't add no more wood.
 
 3.  MONITOR:  Keepin an eye on the wood stove.
 
 4.  DOWNLOAD:  Gettin the farwood off the truk.
 
 5.  MEGA HERTZ:  When yer not kerful gettin the farwood.
 
 6.  FLOPPY DISC:  Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much
                   farwood.
 
 7.  RAM:  That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
 
 8.  HARD DRIVE:  Gettin home in the winter time.
 
 9.  PROMPT:  Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
 
 10. WINDOWS:  Whut to shut wen it's cold outside.
 
 11. SCREEN:  Whut to shut wen it's blak fly season.
 
 12. BYTE:  Whut them dang flys do.
 
 13. CHIP:  Munchies fer the TV.
 
 14. MICRO CHIP:  Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
 
 15. MODEM:  Whut cha did to the hay fields.
 
 16. DOT MATRIX:  Old Dan Matrix's wife.
 
 17. LAP TOP:  Whar the kitty sleeps.
 
 18. KEYBOARD:  Whar ya hang the dang keys.
 
 19. SOFTWARE:  Them dang plastic forks and knifs.
 
 20. MOUSE:  Whut eats the grain in the barn.
 
 21. MAINFRAME:  Holds up the barn roof.
 
 22. PORT:  Fancy Flatlander wine
 
 23. ENTER:  Northerner talk fer "C'mon in y'all"
 
 24. RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY:  Wen ya cain't 'member whut ya 
     paid fer the rifle when yore wife asks.
 
 25. MOUSE PAD:  That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
 



I would have e-mailed you sooner, 

but my cat ate my mouse.




Country Lane

-From Joke of the Day

 A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their
 way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the
 road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of
 trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young
 farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him.
 He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to
 pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted
 and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the
 husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've
 helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at
 the fields incredulously and asks the farmer,"When do you
 have time to plough your land? At night?" "No," the young
 farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in
 the hole"