Short Jokes from Joke of the Day: The Psychic Hotline...

The Psychic HotLine
 ------------------
 One day a person called a psychic hot line. After all the
 questions the lady said I see Three Hundred dollars in your
 future.
 A week later, he got a bill from the psychic hotline for
 $300.00.


 Art:  Ann, I think my teacher loves me.
 Ann:  Why's that?
 Art:  She keeps putting "X"s next to my work!


This old man was a witness in a burglary case.
The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client
commit this burglary?"
"Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at
night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years
old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can
you see at night?"
Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"


 What A Student
 --------------
 When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got a 100
 in school. Her dad told her to go sit down and tell him
 all about it.
 She said, "Well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science,
 and a 50 in spelling!


 Weather Forecast
 -----------------
 There will be a high chance of darkness tonight.


 COMPUTER SAYINGS
 -----------------
 1. Home is where you hang your @
 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the
    mail.
 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single
    click.
 4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
 5. Great groups from little icons grow.
 6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
 7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
 8. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
 9. Pentium wise-pen and paper foolish.
 10. The modem is the message.
 11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
 12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
 13. A chat has nine lives.
 14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
 15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
 16. What boots up must come down.
 17. Windows will never cease.
 18. In Gates we trust.
 19. Virtual reality is its own reward.
 20. Modulation in all things.
 21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
 22. There's no place like http://www.home.com.
 23. Know what to expect before you connect.
 24. Oh, what a tangled web site we weave when first
     we practice.
 25. Speed thrills.
 26. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
     teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you
     for weeks.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.