93 ways to be annoying

 
 
1.Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green,
 and insist to others that you "like it that way". 

2.Drum on every available surface. 

3.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.  With actions. 

4.Staple papers in the middle of the page. 

5.Ask 800 phone operators for dates. 

6.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI 
copyright warnings. 

7.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks. 

8.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 

9.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 

10.Specify that your drive-through order is "dine-in". 

11.Set alarms for random times. 

12.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in 
public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 

13.Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the 
flavor off. Ok, this one is just how to be wastful...

14.Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 

15.Instead of "Gallo", serve "Jack Daniel's" next Thanksgiving. 

16.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make 
a "croaking" noise. 

17.Honk and wave to strangers. 

18.Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. 

19.Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 

20.Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts 
of rental movies. 

21.Wear your pants backwards. 

22.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their 
complementary mints by the cash register. 

23.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!". 

24.Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou 
Reed's "Metal Machine Music". 

25.Leave someones printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-
landscape mode. 

26.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 

27.only type in lowercase. 

28.dont use any punctuation either 

29.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute 
whole streets. 

30.Pay for your dinner with pennies. 

31.Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 

32.Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 

33.Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of 
someone's roadmaps. 

34.Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy 
assasination/ UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 

35.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear 
that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 

36.Light road flares on a birthday cake. 

37.Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their 
parsley. 

38.Leave tips in Bolivian currency. If you live in Bolivia, give 
them Canadian.

39.Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador". 

40.Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 

41.At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 

42.When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" 
until physically restrained. 

43.Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One". 

44.As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 

45.Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 

46.Finish the 99 bottles of root beer song. With actions.

47.Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. Make up 
actions to go along with it.

48.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 

49.Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 

50.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the 
bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I 
messed it up", and repeat. 

51.Drive half a block. 

52.Name your dog "Dog".  If you have two dogs, or had a previous 
dog named "Dog" already, give your second dog a really long 
French name for no reason.  If you are French, give him a Russian 
one.  D'Artagnan! what are you doing?!

53.Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 

54.Ask men what gender they are. 

55.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU 
think." 

56.Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie 
parts back in the tray. 

57.Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, create a Southern 
Drawl. 

58.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener 
it was a "real hoot". 

59.Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the 
curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one 
comes". 

60.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they 
touch with a can of Lysol. 

61.Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' 
brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. 
Rogers theme song. With actions.

62.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a 
parakeet. 

63.Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 

64.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 

65.Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 

66.Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of 
being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and 
demand that people pronounce each A. 

67.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars 
to see if they slow down. 

68.Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 

69.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if 
people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 

70.Wear a LOT of baby powder scented anti-perspirant. 

71.Ask to borrow someone's hair. 

72.Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster 
speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing". 

73.Sing along at the opera. 

74.Mow your lawn with scissors. 

75.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-
batta!" 

76.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with 
prophesy". 

77.Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary 
friend". Top it off with saying he'd just like a water.

78.Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 

79.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their 
answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological 
profiles". 

80.Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket 
isn't cricket." 

81.Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic 
picture". 

82.Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 

83.Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 

84.Silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any 
moment. 

85.Never make eye contact. 

86.Never break eye contact. 

87.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands 
over your ears. 

88.Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 

89.Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a 
Drew Carey voice. 

90.Say random numbers while someone is counting. 

91.Make appointments for the 32nd of April. 

92.Invite lots of people to other people's parties. No WAIT!! 
This belongs on the How to be Rude list...

93.Send fifty copies of this list with my link to everyone you 
know. oohh... free advertising...