50 things to do in an elevator

 
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your
 kleenex to other passengers. 

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
 muttering: "Shut up, shut up, all of you just SHUT UP!" 

4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" 
 incessantly. 

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 

6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency
 of the elevator. 

7. Shave. 

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside 
 ask: "Got enough air in there?"
 
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
 yours upside-down. 

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
 without getting off.
 
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the 
 doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
 
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
 coming!" 

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
 and ask them to call you Admiral. 

14. One word: Flatulence! 

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
 stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft
 go "plink" at the bottom. 

16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then 
 announce: "I've got new socks on!" 

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the 
 back: "Oh, not now, cotton-pickin' motion sickness!" 

19. Give religious tracts to each passenger. 

20. Meow occassionally. 

21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
 
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and 
 say "oops!" 

23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
 
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing 
 buttons. 
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
 
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 

27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce 
 "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the      
 elevator. 

28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" 

29. Leave a box between the doors.
 
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button
 for them. 

31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 
 "through" it. 

32. Start a sing-along. 

33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that
 your beeper?" 

34. Play the harmonica. 

35. Shadow box.
 
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 

37. Lean against the button panel. 

38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
 
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 

40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
 the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
 
41. Bring a chair along. 

42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna 
 see wha in muh mouf?"
 
43. Blow spit bubbles. 

44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 

45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable 
 host body." 

46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 

47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 

48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other 
 passengers. 

49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."  

50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad 
 touch!"