More Fun

 
 A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire
planet Earth taken from space.  On the back it said, "Wish you were
here."

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money.  They said, "What
for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the
statues that are in all the other museums.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With
Pail...Kitten On Fire..

I worked in a health food store once.  A guy came in and asked me, "If I
melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in
the same room and let them fight it out.

I was in the grocery store.  I saw a sign that said "pet supplies".  So I
did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.  When I got there, the guy
was locking the front door.  I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24
hours."  He said, "Yes, but not in a row."

I love to go shopping.  I love to freak out salespeople.  They ask me if
they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?"  Then they
ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale.  She said,
"It's free with purchase."  I asked her if anyone bought anything today.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people
were trapped on the escalators.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas.  I took it to the Gift
Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he
would know when to stop unwrapping.