The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting.

 



*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

*On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had
completely disappeared.

*The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

*Discharge status:  Alive but without permission.  The patient will need
disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

*The patient refused an autopsy.

*The patient has no past history of suicides.

*The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

*Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

*Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

*The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

*She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate
directions in early December.

*The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her
original complaints.