Some Deep Thoughts

 
 If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet
the most common question people would ask is, 'Can't you make it shoot
farther?'

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the
face.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you
walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?'
You can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go,
because, man, they're gone.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Who is General Failure and why are they  reading my hard disk?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?