Getting To Know You...

The Citizens of Port Charles

Elizabeth Webber. (Rebecca Hebst)

"I wonder if anyone else gets as tired of me talking about Lucky as I do." (Ya think??)

Audrey Hardy's granddaughter. Liz's greatest accomplishment in life seems to be loving Lucky. Hey, they can't all be rocket scientists. Elizabeth spends her time painting in her art studio, working as a waitress at Kelly's, and as Chloe's assistant at L&B. What a busy little beaver! I'm not entirely sure when she graduated from High School. I mean, she was in the same grade as Emily and Lucky...then Lucky died...she seemed to get accepted to college but Emily was still in High School. Hmmm.

Carly: That pie-eyed, little two-faced slut is chasing after Sonny...

Lucky: You make me feel like I'm finally living up to my name.

Lucky: Everything about you is the best.

Michael "Sonny" Corinthos. (Maurice Benard)

"When am I not nice?"

Sonny is the Port Charles mob boss. Despite his "mobster with a heart of gold" rep, Lt. Taggert is constantly trying to bust him. I don't know why - Sonny doesn't actually seem to be involved in any illegal activities. He certainly doesn't deal drugs, 'cuz only bad, amoral wiseguys do that. He has a bad track record with women (most notably undercover FBI agent Hannah Scott, although he did have several debacles when he was dating Brenda - the wire incident and their non-wedding being prime examples. We aren't even going to address the Lily issue. Ick.) To Sonny's credit, while he did have a thing for idiotic brunettes, he did manage to evade their clutches and marry a more worthy woman, the blonde bitch, Carly.

Alexis: He may be ruthless and amoral, but he has lovely manners.

Alexis: True, I find you morally repugnant, but I'm sure there's someone out there that would find you very charming.

Carly: Sonny doesn't have women friends...he has lovers, he has wives, and he has exes.

Ned: Is there something in the water? I mean, it's like a local disease. Every woman in a five-mile radius thinks Sonny is this harmless, misunderstood coffee importer who only needs a friend. The man is a racketeer...

Mike Corbin. (Ron Hale)

Mike runs his own restaurant, the Recovery Room. But he seems to spend most of his time losing money at the track or hanging around Kelly's with his girlfriend Tammy. When he's not doing that, he...who are we kidding? That's all he does.

Sonny: You know what the problem with Mike is? He's the only guy I know who gives honesty a bad name.

Hannah Scott. (Lisa Vultaggio)

The little FBI agent that could. And did. Anyone. Known to Carly as Hannah Banana. She's Roy DiLucca's daughter. Hannah's current romantic interest is Marcus Taggert, although AJ Quartermaine is trying to attract her attention. Who can say why (I'm guessing alcohol poisoning)? Hannah can't quite make up her mind about anything -- does she love Sonny, should she bust Sonny?...should she stay with the FBI?....Taggert or AJ? The only decision she ever seems to come to is to go jogging or eat dessert.

Carly: Were you born without morals, or did the FBI train them out of you?

Carly: ...You're pretty enough in, like, a really cheap way...

Carly: Hannah's a snake. Personally, I think that Hannah and AJ make a great couple. Worthless drunk, FBI bimbo. We get lucky, maybe he'll drive them both into a tree.

Roy DiLucca. (A Martinez)

Roy hasn't really done or said anything of note yet. Well, he's in love with Bobbie. So we know his taste in women is bad. He raised Hannah, so his parenting skills are pretty much in question. He served a lengthy prison sentence, so he's not only a criminal, he's stupid enough to get caught. But to be fair, he has proven himself to be an exceedingly loyal friend. And I like that.

Lt. Marcus Taggert. (Real Andrews)

Heh. Taggert. I don't know whether to love him or hate him. He's irritating when he gets into his "I'll bust Sonny & Jason if it's the last thing I ever do" mode. And he's in love with Hannah, so hello - get some taste! But he's amusing...I don't quite know why.

Sonny: How did you make Detective? Were you the only one who could find the coffee filters?

Sonny: First rule of dealing with Taggert – Ignore whatever he tells you.

Gia Campbell. (Marisa Ramirez)

This girl has got a mouth on her like I can hardly believe. She's like a younger version of Carly, only apparently with less schemes and a (possibly - only time will tell) few more morals. She seems headed for the teen storyline standby - employment at L&B - and a romance with Nikolas Cassadine. Let the sparks fly!

Nikolas: Gia Campbell Unlimited. Total purveyor of chaos.

Taggert: Can you not go anywhere without picking a fight?

Lucky: The three things we know about Gia: she's a liar, blackmailer, and an opportunist.

Juan Santiago. (Michael Saucedo)

Juan-yawn. He should invest some time in practicing singing so he doesn't sound like every boy band out there. He's like N'Sync/Backstreet Boys/NKOTB, except there's only one of him. Which is bad enough. He's a pretty clueless individual - doesn't get that his girlfriend doesn't love him anymore...doens't get much of anything.

Ned: Warbling Casonova.

Dr. Tony Jones. (Brad Maule)

"All women have crushes on their doctors. That's why we went to med school."

Tony's a brain surgeon. If you can buy that, I've got a nice piece of real estate in Florida you might be interested in. Tony had a nice reputation going for a while, until he divorced Bobbie to be with Carly, was subsequently dumped, and went competely psycho, kidnapping baby Michael and Robin Scorpio. He is now making a come-back as a good guy, though. I don't understand how everyone seems to have forgotten that he was a kidnapper. It's so funny watching him tell Bobbie that it's bad for her ex-con boyfriend to be around their son. After all, Bobbie lets Tony spend time with Lucas. If sleeping with your step-daughter and kidnapping her child isn't a bad influence, I don't know what is.

Carly: You bastard...what is wrong with you? You are a sick twisted excuse for a human being. They should take you out and shoot you. I would like to shoot you myself.

Reginald Jennings. (Stephen T. Kay)

"I poisoned Katherine Bell for you people. I hid Alan Jr. here when he drove Jason into a tree. Breaking and entering is out of the question!"

"My name is Reginald... but my friends call me Pookie."

Reggie is the Q's butler, but he rarely seems to buttle. He prances around the Q mansion making sarcastic comments and wheeling Lila out of the room whenever she gets fed up with her family. (Not that she can't wheel herself out the room, it's an electric wheelchair!) Ya gotta love Reggie - he knows how to stick it to the Qs.

Gertrude: ...he just burst into tears and ran upstairs.

Edward: There ought to be a law against lovesick butlers.

Cesar Faison. (Anders Hove)

"I have done nobody any harm. I present no threat. Still, I’ve been thrown in jail and I’ve been hounded by a stupid detective who doesn’t know how to handle a cup of coffee, and I’ve been assaulted more than once by the police commissioner."

Cesar Faison is probably the wittiest villain ever to grace Port Charles with his malevolent presence. Sometimes, his plans even work for a while, which is kinda refreshing. My one serious criticism of Faison? He didn't kill Mac. Would that have been asking for too much? He's once again reputed to have died in a boat explosion. Riiiiiiight. He'll be back.

Lesley: Who is Cesar Faison? Who names a baby Cesar Faison?

Not Yet Featured (but coming soon)

Mac Scorpio. (John J. York)

Felicia Scorpio. (Kristina Wagner)

This page was last updated: October 22, 2000