Tarnished Armor
Part 153

Chandler Mansion. The living room.

Hayley, Stuart and Marian are sitting on the couch.

The front door opens and Liza enters.

Liza: Well. Full house. To what do I owe the honor?

Stuart: We’re here to help you.

Liza: Help me?

Marian: Darling, we know this has been a very difficult time, and you’ve been keeping many things to yourself, but we want you to sit down now and listen to us.

Liza: Listen to you? About what?

Hayley: About you and Dad.

Liza: Oh my God. An Adam intervention. Have you lost your minds?

Marian: You’re the one who’s going to lose a lot if you don’t listen to us.

Liza: Okay. Great. But you know what? This isn’t a good time. I...

Liza looks at her watch.

Liza: I have to make a phone call right now.

Stuart: Liza, what could be more important than this?

Liza: I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.

Hayley: Liza, you need to talk about this.

Liza: And I will. I swear I will. Tomorrow. Or the day after. Or anytime that isn’t now.

Marian: Darling, the things you put off today affect your future immeasurably.

Liza rolls her eyes.

Liza: Okay. You want to do this -- this intervention thingy tonight. Fine. Just wait here for a second. I’ll be right back.

Liza begins to go towards Adam’s study.

Marian: Liza!

Liza goes into the study.

Hayley: It’s okay. The study doesn’t have a back door. She has to come back out this way.

Stuart: It’s true.

Marian: I wouldn’t be so sure, darlings. I hear this place is full of secret passageways.

Stuart: Not in the study. That’s for business. Adam wouldn’t want anyone sneaking through his walls and finding out about his business stuff.

Marian takes out a small notepad and jots something down.

Stuart: What are you doing?

Marian: I’ve been making a list of points we should bring up. You know, things that Liza loves about her marriage to Adam. His business acumen should be on it. Good point, Stuart. I had money down there, but Liza is really enthralled by Adam’s cleverness as well.

Hayley: Maybe we should just stick to the emotional issues.

Marian: This is an emotional issue! I’ve seen Adam’s stock portfolio bring tears to Liza’s eyes.

Stuart: Marian. Money isn’t important.

Marian: Not to you, Stuart. Not to me. But to Liza and Adam? It’s the grease that oils their workings.

Marian jots down something else on her notepad.

Hayley: What now?

Marian: That’s just a reminder for myself. I need to get to the drycleaners.

Hayley: I don’t think I want to hear the rest of this.

Liza comes back in the room and sits in the armchair.

Liza: Okay. Go ahead. You have ten minutes.

Marian: Ten minutes? To sum up an affair of legendary proportions?

Liza: Affairs and legendary proportions? Isn’t that more like something out of your history, Mother?

Stuart: Liza, I think what Marian is trying to say is that you and Adam love each other. You always have. And we just want to make sure that you’re gonna end up back together the way you were.

Liza: Bite your tongue, Stuart.

Stuart: Why?

Liza: Because the way we were was terrible. I don’t want to go back to that.

Stuart: What does that have to do with my tongue?

Marian: I’ll show you later.

Hayley: But you two are getting along now, right, Liza? I mean, you’re the reason that Dad didn’t... he didn’t...

Liza: Hayley, it’s complicated. I’m glad your father isn’t thinking those thoughts anymore. But I would never stay in the marriage just because I’m being held hostage to that kind of threat.

Stuart: What kind of threat?

Liza is silent for a moment.

Liza: Any kind of threat, Stuart. It doesn’t matter which one.

Marian: Okay. Let’s get down to the nuts and bolts then. The sex is great, isn’t it?

Hayley: Marian!

Liza: Mother.

Marian: What?

Hayley: I don’t want to hear about my father and Liza’s ...

Liza: Well, that’s just fine, because I don’t want to talk about it.

Marian: You don’t have to say a word. I’ve seen your face in the afterglow and --

Liza: Mother! Enough!

Marian: Well, all right, darling, but think about it, will you? Now...what else?

Marian consults her notepad.

Marian: Money. All your life you’ve dreamed of this kind of fortune. If you leave Adam, you throw it all away. And I’ve seen you without money, Liza. You’re miserable. And think of my precious granddaughter. What kind of future do you want for her?

Liza: So basically, you’re saying I should whore myself to Adam so that Colby can get into a great prep school.

Marian: Of course not, darling. Although it’s never too early to start thinking of these things.

Hayley: Forget about all of that. What about the way you understand each other? That kind of love doesn’t come along every day.

Liza laughs.

Liza: Hayley, I’m sorry if this comes off rudely, but... are you out of your mind? Right now, you’re separated from Mateo, the great love of your life. And you were miserable with him for a long time.

Stuart: But if you don’t have love, what do you have?

Liza: Peace of mind. Very under-rated.

Marian: Peace of mind? How does that stack up against having it all? The family, the jet, the stock portfolio, the full-time cook, the nanny, the --

Stuart: Marian!

Marian: The love. I was getting to that. The love.

Liza is quiet for a moment.

Liza: Okay. I know you all care about me. And Adam. And I appreciate what you’ve been trying to do here. I really do. But there’s a lot more going on than any of you know. So what I really need is time to think. Some time alone.

Marian: But --

Liza: Alone, Mother.

Hayley: Are you sure?

Liza: Very sure.

Stuart: If we leave, you won’t forget about the love and the family and the understanding, will you?

Liza: How could anyone ever forget about family when their last name is Colby or Chandler?

Marian: Which one will yours be, darling? Which last name?

Liza: Mother?

Marian: What?

Liza: Time to go. I have a lot to do tonight, and very little time to do it in.

Marian: But --

Stuart: Come on, Marian. Let’s go. Liza’s too stubborn. Just like Adam.

Marian looks at her notepad.

Marian: And that’s another point. You’re exactly alike.

Liza: Go!

Stuart takes Marian’s hand and pulls her up from the couch.

Liza: Thank you all very much. Have a great evening. We’ll let you know.

Marian: You’ll think about what we’ve said?

Liza: Bye-bye, Mother.

Marian: Bye-bye.

Marian and Stuart leave.

Liza turns to Hayley.

Hayley: Consider me gone.

Hayley gets up from the couch and goes up the stairs.

Liza: Stock portfolio. What next? Andirons?

Liza gets up and goes back into Adam’s study.

 
Tarnished Armor Index
Part One Hundred and Fifty Two
Part One Hundred and Fifty Four