Frequently Asked Questions Files (FAQs)

"While modern technology has given people powerful new communication tools, it apparently can do nothing to alter the fact that many people have nothing useful to say."
-- Lee Gomes, San Jose Mercury News

Is It "Fack" or "eff--ehh--CUE?"

However you pronounce the name, FAQs -- or Frequently Asked Questions -- are the encyclopedia of the Internet. Actually, a more accurate name for them would be "Frequently ANSWERED Questions."

Whatever the question, there is usually an expert who is tired of hearing newcomers ask it over and over again, so he or she had created a (or is is "an"?) FAQ.

FAQs are available for newsgroups as well as mailing lists. That is, they are available for both public forums as well as subscription-only groups. Often they contain "subscribe" as well as "unsubscribe" information, rules on how to submit questions and responses, and last, but not least, they contain answers to those "oh-so-common" questions.

Some newsgroups, such as alt.best.of.internet, are obliged to post their FAQ, or at least a "mini-FAQ", on a regular basis, just to keep the newsgroup on topic and on course. Since A.B.O.I., as it is known, requests that ONLY reprints be po sted, any newbie who hasn't read the FAQ and "insists" on posting a message asking for pen pals or addresses for "really kool Web pages" is likely to wake up the next morning with enough copies of the A.B.O.I. FAQ in his or her mailbox to wallpaper a goodsized mansion if printed out.

Read The FAQ First!

If you simply cannot resist the urge to post to that new group you've discovered:

READ THE FAQ FIRST!

Let me repeat that:

READ THE FAQ FIRST!

Are we clear on that, boys and girls? Because if you aren't clear on it, the minute you post that same hairy old question for the millionth time, some regular user of the newgroup or the mailing list is sure to take it upon himself or herself to make it crystal-clear in a summarily uncomplimentary tone that you need to:

READ THE FAQ FIRST!

How Do I Find The One I Need?

There are usually FAQs published monthly in most newsgroups and are often known as "administrivia," a good name for the "rules-and-regs" FAQs. These cover the basic facts, the "join" and "unjoin" methods, how to send "unsubscribe" to the listserv machine itself and NOT to every member of the list [an egregious "no-no"!], and how to behave while in the group.

Other FAQs are factual and are usually pointed to by the monthly "administrivia" postings.

For instance, there is sage advice on how to control fleas in most of the alt.rec.pets.... groups. For pet owners, there are also general FAQs on how to care for your particular animal and specific FAQs on diseases endemic to that particular breed .

Other FAQs, though scholarly compilations, are just for fun, like the Firesign Theatre FAQ, which lists everything a newcomer to the famous improvisational group of the '60s and '70s needs to know to become a "Firehead." For instance, where else can you find ALL verses of the theme song for the famous ad, "Rat-In-A-Box?" Or the words to "Frigate Matilda" or "Papoon, Papoon For President!" ("There is no one to blame! Papoon for our chief President! You know he's not insane!").

There are several ways to get these FAQs:

Via Usenet: these are the FAQs posted in the newsgroup.
Via FTP: by Anonymous FTP from MIT University under the /pub/usenet/alt.answers/newsgroupname (where the last is the name of the newsgroup, such as "firesign-theatre". [note, the do ts in the newsgroup name are changed to hyphens.]
Via E-mail: for those without FTP, MIT also runs a mailserver. For more information on this service for those without FTP access, simply send e-mail to the mail server at MIT University with the message:
send usenet/alt.answers/newsgroupname
help
Via WWW: if you have an address for the newsgroup's home page, use that. If you don't have an address, there is also a hypertext-based Usenet FAQ list at Ohio State U niversity. This has forms search capability.

So, do yourself a favor -- Do your homework! It will save a lot of flaming and hurt feelings. And it can actually be fun! You might try the five-part FAQ at alt.fol klore.urban for the funniest compendium of Urban Legends ever gathered in one place.