Flight Attendant Bitch Page
Extraordinary Tales

Somtimes events happen during our travels that make us wonder if there is such a thing as God, or an Angel-On-My-Shoulder, or Good Luck. These events happen rarely, but when they do, they can be life changing. This page is dedicated to all the extraordinary and magical stories that have occured to flight attendants in the past, either on the airplane or during a layover. If you would like to share your story, please email fabp_2000@hotmail.com and check back in the near future. And please, just the truth...

"Obnoxious Upgrade", copied from email, 16 May 2002.
On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating. "What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant. "Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!" "Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class." The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin. "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class." Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next to such an obnoxious person." With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you."

"Extraordinary Experience (for me, anyway...)", copied from email, 12 September 2000.
My own little extraordinary tale began on a three-day trip. I had been feeling pretty foul for a few days and considered calling off, but I needed the hours, so... I boarded the aircraft only to find myself flying with two SUPER senior girls who had known each other forEVER. The lead was a "me-me-me" type who probably couldn't crack a smile if a gun were held to her head. The other girl was a really abrasive type whose mouth could make a sailor blush. She would say things about her crewmates (all two of us!) to cleaners, utility and caterers that were completely embarassing and humiliating. HOWEVER-- on the second overnight of the three-day trip, this thorn in my side showed her true colors. She found out how incredibly ill I was and snapped right into "mommy" mode. She fed me soup and tea and made sure I had aspirin, enough blankets and saw me through my feverish fits of shivering. Onboard, she did the cabin service, with the cart, HERSELF. I was bundled up with pillows and blankets in one of the back rows. She gave me ginger ale and pretzels for my tum and checked on me to see how I was feeling. Once we were home, she carried my bags all the way up to the gate and told me to get to a doctor or she'd kick my a**. I guess her actions didn't seem extraordinary to her, but I'll remember her name and her face for the rest of my days!

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This site designed and maintained by flight attendant Dave Meadows, 2000.