Home Again

And then we left. After ten years of being expatriates we left. Why? A number of reasons. Our daughter was starting college. Our son high school. We needed to get out of the forest to see the trees. We had become jaded. We feared becoming queer, like the expat in Jonathan Raban's novel "Foreigners" who goes back to Britain after years in Africa and finds himself in a land so strange that he can't live there. So he builds a boat and one day sails off never to return again. He is only at home away from home.

Had we reached that point ourselves? We had hoped not. Now we're not so sure. After just under a year back in the States we are still groping to find our way.

So what's it like, being back? It's . . .

• being in a crowd and feeling like we're on the outside looking in

• feeling as alien as E.T.

• watching people screw up their faces trying to understand our peculiar English

• feeling our guts wrench as we watch our kids trying to fit in with peers that, to them, are as foreign as ET
• wondering why they have to have so much to choose from in the supermarkets
• driving past an airport and feeling drawn magnet like, jealous of those who were doing what we knew we had to do, but couldn't, because we can no longer afford plane tickets
• watching our money leak away on expenses we didn't remember having overseas

If you've lived overseas for any length of time (as opposed to being a tourist), you know what we're going through. And the longer you were there, the harder it is to come back.

If you are an ex expat and have similar feelings, drop us an e-mail. Somehow I think it helps to know that we're not alone. Maybe we can start an e-mail discussion group - a place to vent our "I'm-home-but-it-doesn't-feel-like-home" frustrations.

An ex expat trying to find his way . . . .

Return to Table of Contents

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page