Decisions, decisions. How do I mark this? Do I mark it as a show in its own right or do I mark it in comparison to the superb French version? Lets do both.
For many, many years I've wanted a British version of Fort Boyard, the stunning French adventure gameshow and now it's arrived, is it any good? The answer, dear friends, shall be revealed in time.
Whereas the French version gives their teams a total of 85 minutes in order to collect their seven keys, play for time in the Treasure Room and then collect the clues. In Brit Boyard the team gets a mere forty minutes. However, they only have to collect four keys instead of seven and they don't play for time, they are given a flat rate in the treasure room.
The show is hosted primarily by model turned TV host Melinda Messenger who leads the teams around the Fort. To be very fair, Melinda Messenger isn't bad a host at all and seems to know what is going on. The Master of the Fort is played by Leslie Grantham and in a fit of independence from the French show, Leslie Grantham plays the role in the evil pantomime baddie style, generally taunting the contestants at every opportunity and occasionally resorts to litotes and hyperbole in order to scare the contestants when it comes to the adventures:
"Well, it's all down to Chrissie now, isn't it? She wasn't very good at the balancing earlier on, was she? Well this time I've made it very easy for her. I've given her a rope, and a bar to hang on to. Now down at the end of the rope is a little cannister. When you get to it, you unscrew the bottom and then you call the word out to your friends.
Just one thing. If you don't get to it in time, it will self destruct... Have fun, because I certainly am."
This was describing the Tightrope Walk, where a tightrope is made across the top of the fort (60ft high - about 20metres metric fans) and the contestant has a 3:15 to get across it, and yes, the contestant was scared of heights (More on this later).
The other main character is The Old Professor, he replaces Pere Fouras in the watchtower, he's played (in my opinion) very well by Geoffrey Bayldon (and although he's a different character he still shares some of Pere Fouras' mannerisms) and there is a nice storyline running about the animosity between the Master of the Fort and The Old Professor (who used to be the master). Sadly it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
It appears that there are only three other characters on the Fort (not including technical staff). One, quite pleasingly, is Monsiour Labouille (who is the same as in la version francais) and Jacques and Jules (Passe-Partout and Passe-Pas), the two dwarves who deal with carrying the keys and leading people places who do the same jobs as they would in France. This means however that there are loads of characters in the French version that aren't there in Brit Boyard. This in turn means the character interaction and visual comedy of the French show is reduced to nothing.
The titles. They've lifeted most of it from the French sequence yet they've made it not as good. For a start, the nice rendered 3D logo that lifts out of the sea in France is replaced by a logo apparently falling into the screen. It's not as impressive.
The show. Melinda normally starts off each episode with a 'well, we've made it to Fort Boyard! the gold in within the walls but there is 150 years of history guarding it', following this there is a short sequence overview of the show with Melinda explaining the rules, 'but the worst we've yet to meet and it's Boyard, Master of the Fort.' If you've ever seen the French show, you should be cringing at this point. That's bad. 'I thought you were going to bring some serious challengers for the Fort's gold, this lot look like a load of namby-pamby hair dressers.' etc, etc. One of the members is chosen by Boyard (eugh) to go up to the watchtower and answer a riddle and another person is chosen to get the key from the sea if the riddle isn't answered. In fact, There is a huge guide to the show in the French review and The game directory elsewhere in the Courtroom so I'm not going to repeat myself. Then they play challenges for keys (like Crystal Maze, not allowed to still be in the room when the time is up). After three games it's back to the Watchtower for another riddle. Anyway, once they've got their four keys the rest of the time is spent playing the adventures for clues. These games are far scarier than the key games involving spiders, snakes, insects and heights etc... Something that Brit Boyard does that French Boyard doesn't is that they seem to match people's fears to the adventures. Afraid of reptiles? Well you can do the Snake Pit then! An interesting feature.
And then the Treasure Room. They're given a flat rate time of two minutes. Miserly. Even before the French invented the Time Hunters section they were given three minutes and what's even worse is that because of the speed of the show, attempting to fit as much into the time as possible), the team are often given very little, if any, time to prepare for it. That is bad. Otherwise, the section faithfully adheres to the French version.
The money is then weighed and we're told how much money they've won - in doubloons. We are told that it will be converted into cash but we are not told how much or what the conversion rate is. I'm willing to guess that the money is shown in Francs and then converted into pounds meaning Channel 5 will be giving away about £300-500 each episode. Gosh C5, can you afford that? The French version regularly gives away about £10,000 an episode (in British money) and a few times (back in VERY old episodes when it was about 6 Francs to the pound) about £30,000. Admittedly in France they give it to charity (although they didn't use to!) but to those in the know it does seem like a pittifully small amount and it is a show where the contestants DO actually deserve to win big if they do well. It IS challenging! It doesn't feign importance!
I think the reason the French version is quite superior is in the presentation. In France, every character has a little musical motif every time they're on screen. The various characters(r) on the Fort doesn't really. And there are so few characters compared to the French version. And why is the tiger's head clock used to represent the time left in the adventures, what's wrong with the digital cannister? Without the Time Hunters section it has little significance (because it's usually used in the Treasure Room.) And why is there dance music in the background to Key games? The music in the Adventures actually succeeds in adding to the atmosphere of the game. Dance music? Erm...
After reading this review you may think that I didn't like the show particularly much. On the contrary, I loved it! The problem I have is that after being a huge fan of the French version for over five years, without understanding French mind, I know how it could've been done and maybe how it should've been done. Yes, it lacks the polished presentation of the French show. Yes, it does some bits badly but in principal, that of the actual game and atmosphere they still do well (although admittedly Anabase productions, the people in charge of the French version handled most of the work here so I wouldn't have expected anything less) and for that reason, I wish the show every success and hope it gets many series.
Verdict: 8.5/10 (if you haven't seen the French version), 7.5/10 (if you have)
I'm REALLY angry now!
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