Microsoft is in court these days, defending its decision
to integrate browsing functions with its operating system.
But the days in court are harrowing for the brave boys and
girls from Redmond, as we discover when we examine their
chief complaints and requests concerning the legal
proceedings:
10. Microsoft to court: "What do you mean precisely by
'world domination'?"
9. Lawrence Lessig used to steal Gates's lunch money in
grade school. No fair!
8. Request to clear the courtroom of disruptive laid-off
Netscape employees.
7. Joel Klein using Mac laptop to take notes--prejudiced!
6. Please make Ralph Nader put down his bullhorn while
court is in session.
5. Please ask FBI Director Freeh to cease and desist
Stealth flyovers of Redmond.
4. Court recorder saying, "Wait a minute, I have to
reboot," not helping their case.
3. Request that Judge Jackson not refer to Microsoft
lawyers as "you people."
2. Removing MS lawyer Bill Neukom from the courtroom in
shackles after every session is demeaning.
1. Court's request to install airbags and seat belts in
Windows might be slightly extreme.