I'm not getting old....
I'm a teenager trapped in the body of a fossil.
I haven't even had my mid-life crisis yet.
I bought my prune farm for the investment.
My hair is naturally blue.
And that's not liniment you smell, it's my new cologne.
I wear wrinkles to conceal my true identity from forces of the evil empire.
In fact, my memory is so perfect, I can... what was I saying?
And if you say I'm old again, I'll hit you with my cane.