MEET THE MEAT UNDER YOUR FEET

These guys are having a good time! Ruin it. Splat!

CLICK TO "QUIK" LINK

THRASHER
TWISTED GROUPIE
ESKIMO
SWIMMER
BUSINESS MAN
MIME
BACK ALLEY CHEF
ARTIST


SKATEBORDER!

Real Name: Jimmy Krackine

Skatebord Name: The Zoom (What a crappy name)

Why?: This moron is speeding around for the hell of it. Seen in
L.A., usually seen buzzing at a low speed. What is he doing in the
middle of a war zone? Loser.

Show him the true meaning of thrashing.


TWISTED GROUPIE(S)!

The truth is, that there's more than one of 'em! Hee hee hee!

Real Names: Bobby Lagerdo, Sam Speedo, Damien Zag, Quinn Elfmoon, and Kurt Kables.

Gang Names: The Big Bad Wolves, The Deliveries, and The Twinkies.

Why?: For the kicks! Hoping for an autograph or for the lucky occasional photo (or a date with Grasshopper - yuck!), these losers are looking for the ultimate high. Send them to it via your bumper! S'make a streak in L.A.

He's just dying to be noticed!


ESKIMO!

Real Name: Pye Blubber

Snowshoes Brand: Don't Break the Ice!© Tight Gripz w/ Nylon Straps

Why?: He's collecting snow samples! Hey! There's a red one! *BUMP BUMP*. Didn't see that twisted car coming at 100 mph. Well, in reality, no one knows why this hoser is campin' it up on ANTARCTICA.

This time he'll REALLY be on ice.


SWIMMER!

My god, that's a really sickening picture.

Real Name: Robert Mahero

Weight: 358 lbs.

Why?: No idea. Why are his pants down? For unknown reasons...thank you to the guys at SingleTrac for making this guy completeing nauseating. Oh well. Kill him quickly at the pool in New York! Hurry!

Blood is thicker than water.


SANTA CLAUS!

Where is he?

Real Name: Pere Noël, Saint Nick, Santa! Know the guy? Hmmmm...?

What he's got: A shotgun, along with his friend Jimmy Bean. Along with that sack he hauls around. Dumb old fool.

Why?: Why not? Can YOU find him?

You've been bad this year. VERY BAD.


BUSINESS MAN!

Real Name: Bill Gates! It's Bill Gates!

What's in that briefcase?: Briefs. Honest. Make sense?

Why?: He's having a jolly good time tasting the different kinds of sushi around Hong Kong! But is he aware of the battle that rages on? I guess not! Make him aware.

Splatter him all over Wall Street!


MIME!

The chance you have been waiting for! Yes!

Mime Name: Shiloh the Silent

Act he's been working on: His Richard Simmions impersonation. Yeouch! Stay away!

Why?: He just HAD to be in Twisted Metal 2! This game wouldn't be good without a rocking mime smearin'!

Don't worry. If you hit him, no one will hear him scream.


BACK ALLEY CHEF!

Real Name: Kyoto Marishamimikatotoliymimakiyto

What's cookin': Meat and Potatoes. FRESH meat and potatoes.

Why?: Somone had to be in Hong Kong to spice it up. Just bump him.

He may be quick with a knife, but how is he on his feet?


ARTIST!

Real Name: Piannizo Papararico

On canvas: The Eiffel Tower. There's a huge smear, leading off the edge. I wonder what happened?

Why?: Check him (And I mean CHECK) out around the Tower. Paint the town red!

I hear red is his favorite color.


Outta here! Link back.