At 06:43 PM 1/19/98 -0500, you wrote:

Hi. BRADO CREAMED CORN of MALICKIS HAPPY CORN CLUB here. I've noticed on your new album that you have an eight-note riff that my band has copyrighted at least a year prior to your release. Strange, your band having an 8-note riff my band created, on top of the fact that we sent your record company a copy of our release with that riff on it, about 1 year before the release of your album. Hmm? You guys can get back to me about this. I wanna know why this is.

--BRADO (still a fan of GWAR)

It is a co-incidence, since I don't believe that any of us have heard your album. We have stolen from many people in the past, but you are not one of them. --BalSac

At 08:49 PM 1/26/98 -0500, you wrote: Bal-Sac,

Since our bands have a co-incidence (a corn-inky-dink), we have a phenomenal bond, yes, no? We should get together, smoke some crack and roast penguins. A feast for the mighty! Maybe your greatnesses would like to cover one of my bands songs on your next album (you'd really dig "I KILL LITTLE KIDS"), I would gladly send you a copy (cassette only, we are poor, too much stolen money spent on crack), but I need an address.

We friends, yes, no? I am a hermaphrodite, and I love you. Please write me back, BalSac, we friends, lovers even.

--BRADO CREAMED CORN

leader of MALICKIS HAPPY CORN CLUB

& THE KOKA KOLA HIT MEN

Sure, send me a cassette to PO box 5225, Richmond Va 23220. But don't accuse me of stealing it.

--BAlSac

At 11:12 PM 1/31/98 -0500, you wrote:

Hey, I can probably get an interview via e-mail from you for my zine? I'll send you a copy of it when it's done.

Let me know if you're interested.

I procrastinate too much because I masturbate too much.

--BRADO CREAMED CORN

sure, e-mail me the questions and I will answer them at my leisure (read as: "I will get it back to you somewhere between a week and an eternity")

--BS

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