Welcome to I-Seventy-Six,
Where you can fight way out in the styx,
Bring on your guns,
Fry someone's buns,
And throw musclecars into the mix.

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There once was a cheater named __{{jaX}}__,
Who was rather fond of his hax,
Pumped up his ammo and tires,
So I fed him some fire,
And put a cap in the cheap f***er's ass.
(Note: The name used in this one is not real.  It's used for effect.)
 
Enter a bus painted with flames,
On with five turrets he came,
Flamed him into the red,
Shot a hole in his head,
Give Ted and his 'rhana the blame.
 
Now I'm one hak-smakking bastard,
You won't find a hackkilla that's faster,
Hunt down those hacks,
Put a cap in their ass,
Send 'em six feet under with the other hackers.

Hacks are ruining this beautiful game,
Put a blotch on it's funky-styled name,
We're the line of defense,
We must kill to be cleansed,
And remove these hacked-painted stains.
 
The situation may appear dire,
They have unlimited armor and oversized tires,
Bullets seem useless,
But it isn't hopeless,
We can fight hacks, with fire!
 
They come in with mutants galore,
Like from some demented store,
They'll continue to crash,
Until they are smashed,
Pure I'76 forevermore.