This is not the homepage of Joe & Virginia Littrell, but it probably should be, as they deserve more attention than they'll ever get. They deserve a lot of things that they'll never get, chief among them a couple of relatively normal and, more importantly, stable kids...

Just for the record, I'm the oldest child, the son named after the father, but not really; I also serve the function in the family of the crazy uncle, that guy who no one's seen for a while and doesn't get talked about that often.

Hrm. What to say about my father? The fact is, I don't think my Dad and I really understood each other all that much when I was growing up. Truth be told, I'm not really sure that we do now. But I've learned to respect him quite a lot in the last few years for any number of reasons. Anyway, he's my Dad, and I love him. So there.

• There's nothing really wrong with hard work (except that it's hard).
• It doesn't hurt to start out being polite.
• Pulling someone's leg doesn't hurt as long as you don't pull it too hard.
• Bad movies can be just as much fun as good ones (sometimes more).
• Star Trek - the world of Sci-Fi began for me with a Trouble With Tribbles photobook.
• It's never too late to learn something new.

MY MOTHER

Well, I'm as at a loss for words here at this point as I was with my father. My mother, simply put, is a saint. Well, she has the patience of one, anyway. She's put up with the antics of me and my two siblings, and then there's my father... Well, anyway, she's a saint. A SAINT, DO YOU HEAR!! I... *ahem* I love her too.

• Even a saint can enjoy low forms of entertainment. (Oy, that first summer of Luke and Laura!)
• Getting mad isn't necessarily a bad thing.
• You can't please everybody - they know where the fridge is...
• Not telling someone everything isn't the same thing as lying.
• There are some things that just don't need to be taken seriously.
• There are somethings that do.

THE TWO GRANDMAS
(Simmons & Littrell, respectively)

These are the two ladies responsible for bringing up Mom and Dad (in that order). I suspect that what they taught their kids is responsible for the fact that my parents haven't disowned me, despite what mistakes I've made. (And believe me, I've made some doozies. My Mom's rolling her eyes as she reads this, believe me.) I love them too, though they're wondering why right now why I don't call.