W and L are number of duels won and lost
Brawn is an assessment of endurance on a scale of 1 (low) to 6 (high)
Wealth : poor 0-500cr, OK 501-1500, comfy 1501-3000, rich 3001-6000, filthy 6001+

Hell Hath No Fury...

Command Positions

Unit	Commander	Aide	Adjutant
Field Army	General Jacques Anorie N5	Maj N2 (KM)	vacant
Cavalry Division	vacant	-	vacant
First Division	vacant	-	vacant
Second Division	vacant	-	Lt Col N1 (4A)

Brigade Positions

Brigade	Brigadier	Aide	Brigade Major
Guards	vacant	-	GZ
Horse Guards	vacant	-	Maj N6 (QOC)
Heavy	vacant	-	Maj N3 (ALC)
1st Foot	vacant	-	vacant
3rd Foot	vacant	-	Maj N3 (27M)

Military Appointments

Appointment	Name	Aide
Field Marshal	npc Bertrand Plastic	LP
Adjutant General	Lt Gen npc Ken d'Uckie Zinger	Cap N4 (RM)
Inspector General of Cavalry	Lt Gen Robert Cray-Poisson N1	HD
Inspector General of Infantry	Lt Gen npc Michel Jambon	Cap N2 (ALC)
QM General, Field Army	vacant	-
Principal, Military Academy	vacant	-
Instructor, Military Academy	Maj N5 (27M)
Instructor, Military Academy	Maj N3 (QOC)
Aide to Crown Prince	Cap N5 (KM)
Captain, King's Escort	Cap N4 (RFG)
Captain, Cardinal's Escort	Cap N6 (CG)
Ensign, King's Escort	npc
Ensign, Cardinal's Escort	npc
Trooper, King's Escort	~
Trooper, Cardinal's Escort	~

The General Staff

Rank	Name	Aide
Lt Gen	npc Basil Don	Cap N4 (DG)
Lt Gen	Maurice Venison N5	Cap N2 (KM)
Lt Gen	Rod Ullandemu N4	Cap N2 (DG)
Brig Gen	Tim Borine N1	npc
Brig Gen	npc Noel Retard de la Maison	npc
Brig Gen	Simon de Beauvoir N6	npc
Brig Gen	Serge Palermo Blanco N5	npc
BBG	N4 (RM)	npc
BBG	N4 (ALC)	npc
BBG	N5 (CG)	npc
BBG	N5 (RFG)	npc
BBG	N6 (DG)	npc
for general officers without appointments

The Church

The Provinces

Appointment	Apply to
Minister without Portfolio	Minister of State
Director of the Theatre Royal	King
Chairman of the Royal Academy of Science	King
Cavalry Division Commander	Adjutant General
First Division Commander	Adjutant General
Second Division Commander	Adjutant General
QM General	Army Commander
Guards Brigadier	Inspector General of Infantry
Horse Guards Brigadier	Inspector General of Cavalry
Heavy Brigade Brigadier	Inspector General of Cavalry
First Foot Brigadier	Inspector General of Infantry
Third Foot Brigadier	Inspector General of Infantry
Army Adjutant	Army Commander
Academy Principal	Adjutant General
Regimental Chaplain KM	JPB
Regimental Chaplain DG	LP
Regimental Adjutant KM	JPB
Trooper, King's Escort	Captain, King's Escort
Trooper, Cardinal's Escort	Captain, Cardinal's Escort

Matters of Honour

The first prize of 180 crowns went to an anonymous winner

A second prize of 72 crowns went to an anonymous winner

A second prize of 72 crowns went to an anonymous winner

En Passant

E-mail Address - My ISP has been taken over and as a result, my e-mail address has changed to dptye@attglobal.net. The old ibm.net address will continue to remain valid for months to come, however, and my alternative address remains arcadiaengarde@yahoo.com.

Volunteering - Taking your command on campaign without announcing it beforehand will lead to court martial charges being brought on your return. This is in the house rules to give those under your command a chance to plan ahead, and make it harder to mess them around.

Duel Guide - Some of you are not using conditionals in your duel orders which limits the chance of a victory. Check the beginner's duelling guide at the website for advice, especially if you play in another EG game as the rules are slightly different. You can always supply extra orders to apply if your or your opponent's weapon breaks.

Mailing List - The new software for the list seems to be sorting itself out. If you used to get a daily digest of messages but now get individual posts or vice versa, just send a blank e-mail to arcadia-switch@phoenyx.net.

Orders - Please remember to put your character initials and the game month in the subject header for your orders. Also, please try to avoid waiting for the last minute to submit orders if possible as it will minimise any delays due to queries over orders and chasing people up. Thanks.

Orders deadline - Tue 25 Jan 1200 GMT

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The liberation of oppressed goods

....At the front....

A young Captain of the ALC is overseeing the distribution of booty among his company. He is thin, his eyes sunken and his frame spare, he looks as if the campaign has taken it's toll from him. "Hey there trooper, those go back into the pile!" He barks. From his mounted vantage, he has a good view of the loot. "Everyone gets an equal share by God, even me! If you don't like it don't bother taking any at all." "So, playing the troopers friend are we St Vierre?" calls out a whiny voiced horseman, about 50 metres to the rear.Wheeling around with a curse, Anton spies the major. "So! Come to get a piece of what the wolves have found Georges? Or do you wish to simply see the men in action?" Itis obvious to all who are watching that the major, Georges, has purchased his commission rather than earned it.

"Damn your pride Captain, I am your superiour officer! Do not dare address me so familiar in front of the men!" "Of course Sir (cur)" says Anton mildly "Why are you here then Sir (cur)?"

"I am here to inspect the loot for military information, and anything of intelligence value must be taken back to headquarters for analysis." The major smirked nastily, "This whole wagon load of goods looks as if it has great value, err, intelligence value that is, have it sent to my tent immediately for analysis!" .... "Yes Sir" shouted St Vierre. Riding closer to the major, no one heard Anton except Georges, " If you do this again, rob my men Georges, I will cut your throat and and have a glass of wine while you twitch in the corner!" "My Father will..." "Your father will get a nice letter about how bravely you died in combat, you maggot! I'll write it myself and tell him what a hero you were, while I clean your cowardly guts off my sabre!"

Shaken and pale, the major rode away quickly, looking back several times. Anton watched him until he was out of sight, and then turned back to his men....

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Announcements

Wow!

You elite cavalry folk really know the meaning of the word team-spirit, it seems! Impressing! But it seems to be one of the favorite pass-times of officers in our military to harass one another. And we, the common soldiers, are always the ones to patch things up. But well, at least I can sleep with my fellow comrades in one tent without fearing for my life and career being corrupted by envious "fellow" officers.

Speaking of cavalry officers, I'm due to teach a'Quse a lesson and would be quite happy if a fellow gentleman could be my second. Marines preferred!

God bless the King,
Rene Vaplus,
Subaltern of the Royal Marines

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msr Vaplus follies

My dear Vaplus,

So you think you can teach me something, what a foolish idea. I assure you that when we meet I will make you taste the cane and have your mouth washed with soap for questioning the authority of a true teacher in matters of the blade.

Baron Julien a'Quse of the Crown Prince's glorious Cuirassiers

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A synopsis of MG's thesis

On the Necessity of Monopoly for The Furtherance of Civilisation

It is possible to organize religious, military, economic, and political activities in a number of ways, but the superior form in every respect is monopoly.

Beginning with religion, it is clear that France today suffers from the Huguenot heresy not just in terms of French spirituality, though that is significant, but also in more earthly ways. Because there is not a monopoly of religious belief and practice, our soldiers fight the Protestant rebels in our own lands. Even were peace to reign between the sects, the waste of erecting Protestant as well as Catholic churches impoverishes the state by duplicating effort.

In military forms, we French have concentrated all military power under one single commander, who draws his legitimacy from the monarch, our single ruler. Here there is no competition, merely all resources of a military nature subject to French control are mustered under one single banner with one single purpose. Imagine if it were otherwise! Imagine if each regiment answered to its colonel who answered to no one in particular! Chaos on the battle field would triumph, as would our enemies.

In economic terms, consider our expeditions to the far flung corners of the world. A single enterprise can field many ships, adequate military protection, sufficient missionaries, and plentiful trade goods. But divide these resources among many expeditions and one weakens them all disproportionately: one will have too few ships, another too few marines, or missionaries or trade goods.

And in politics, one only need compare the efficiency of our monarchy to the squabbling pettiness that passes for politics in the Dutch and Venetian republics. We can enjoy the benefits of bold actions decisively planned, whereas they must debate, call quorums, amend, piddle, twiddle and perhaps resolve. Unless they refer the matter to committee.

In sum, the concentration of a civilization’s religious, military, economic or political resources into a single institution will enhance its ability to flourish. Competition within a kingdom merely invites weakness and chaos.

Michel Grognard

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Re: Vaplus

Subaltern,

You are about to recieve a lesson, not give one I believe. If it is any consolation to you though, I would be happy to drop a note to your commanding officer asking him to excuse you from your duties. That way there will be no excuse for you not showing A'Quse your best....

ASV

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Re: msr Vaplus follies

Dear Baron a'Quse,

No doubt you are a well versed swordsman. But remember your last skirmish with the Marines - your poor little sabre couldn't stand more than a few slashes with a cutlass. And this time I will not only bring a cutlass! Perhaps you should find a weaponsmith that sells reinforced blades or uses better than normal steel. We'll see each other at dawn.

Rene Vaplus
Subaltern of the Royal Marines

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Dewey Cheatham & Howe's Great Offer

To the investors of Paris,

The firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howe is pleased to announce that we have been appointed intermediary for a bond offer issued by the Doge of Venice. The Doge will be using the funds raised to get rid of the dreadful blocked sink in his palace, and the investment is secured by the tax revenues on the spice trade.

The bonds are for one year, and the return is 20% per year, paid in installments every quarter. The principal can be reinvested, at the end of the twelve month period.

Those interested should contact our offices and ask to speak with Baron Grognard, our agent.

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You are a cur, Mssr. de Villain

de Villain:

In the past I was torn between my reverence for the church and my outrage at your churlish behavior. But now I must conclude that you are no man of god, sir. In all honesty I was incredulous when I returned to Rosie's tearful confession that 'that dirty vicar' de Villain attempted to touch her in a place that her bathing garments cover. How can the church hope to lead the youth of Paris toward God when her representative is sent running into the streets, cassock around his ankles, by my lady's hairbrush-wielding handmaid? To make matters worse, all the sitting rooms of Paris are a-twitter with the eye witness account of your robes and priestly accessories being thrown from the notorious Ruby Tuesday's bedroom window, being followed by a chamber pot emptied upon your very head when you came to retrieve them!

Obviously you have abandoned your vows to the holy church, so no one will object to me giving you the drubbing earned by any randy cockerel. I will see you at the city gates at dawn.

Regards,
Lt. Col. Le Petomane, CO Dragoon Guards

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Pastor Farceur?

FROM THE DESK OF FRERE JACQUES

Father Farceur:

I have had my eye on you for some time as a promising young priest, and must say I've been mightily impressed. I believe the time has come for you to assume a greater role in the church, and have said as much to the Cardinal during our weekly review of the newest, smoothest-limbed, young choir boys.

I must admit I have my own reasons as well. My duties as Bishop are time consuming to say the least, and I fear I've neglected Our Lady of Gnashing and Wailing. Would you consider assuming the Pastorship of Our Lady, if the cardinal sees fit to promote you to Pastor on my recommendation? While there are not currently any open pastorships in Paris, Pastor Eindhoven is long past retirement age and is just waiting for a promising up-and-comer like yourself to release him from his responsibilties. In addition, be sure to consult Field Marshall Plastic about the Chaplain of the Army, which I believe is vacant.

Please contact me via alter boy if you have any questions or concerns about the spirtual or worldly duties of a pastor.

Go with God,
Frere Jacques

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Welcome Home Party

Paris is abuzz as the soldiers fighting at the front have returned home for a well-deserved rest. The streets are filled with excited people shopping for their loved ones. And occasionally one sees the sad figure of a soldier that has lost an arm or a leg fighting for the glory of France.

Through this throng Chicot D'Armagnac and his servant made their way on foot to visit one of Paris' top social clubs, Bothwells. Walking on the main street they came upon a crowd of people listening to a frail-looking man wearing what appeared to be wooden signs on the front and back of his body. The signs were hastily painted "Repent as the Millennium is almost near!!"

"Who is that?" Chicot inquired of his servant.

"Oh, he is a strange one. He is known as Le Why Tookay. Some sort of divinator." Chicot nodded as the man began to speak to the crowd.

"Citizens of Paris, of France, of the world!! Now is the time to repent your sins! For the day of reckoning will soon be here, and the great power will judge us all!! When the millennium hits, all of you will pay for your sins, I assure you!! It will bring floods, ravaging storms, crops will wither and die, and all who are not pure shall suffer!!"

The crowd started a confused murmur, since no one knew what the Millennium was. Then a young man in the crowd shouted, "And when is this...milenimum going to happen?"

Raising his fists to the air the old man yelled, "In three-hundred and eighty-seven years!!" He paused, "No, in three-hundred and eighty-nine years!! Wait, no..." He began counting on his fingers.

Then the crowd starting pelting him with tomatoes and onions, forcing him to seek shelter under a nearby doorway.

Chicot sighed and continued his journey. The owner of Bothwells was waiting for Chicot when he arrived. "Monsieur D'Armagnac, so good to see you again! Congratulations on another successful campaign!"

"Thank you monsieur. I certainly missed my favorite club. But now that I am back, it is time to celebrate in true Parisian style. A party...the fourth week of next month. A sort of 'Welcome Home' for our brave soldiers. Yes, that's it. A 'Welcome Home Party'!!

He turned to his servant. "Get the banners made. And make sure we give Bothwells some of that tasty Parma ham for the party as well. Write up the special guest list, the top men in Paris; Baron's Brisbois, Grognard and a' Quse. And make sure we get some of that Champagne from the reserve stocks!!

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A Drama: "Valor, A House Divided"

Cher Monsieur Dijon!

Just back from the summer campaign, I am very delighted to hear about your new play. When will it start? To my dismay I have to go to court in the first week, hopefully I (and the gentlemen who will help me out) will not miss your premiere party that way?

God bless you,
Rene Vaplus
Subaltern of the Royal Marines

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To The Royal Marines

To my fellow marines:

Dear Comrades!

Although we have just returned from campaign, I am to meet the enemy again, this time not the hapsburg kind but the less dangerous, less intelligent, but no less evil CPC kind of enemy. For my duel with Julien a'Quse, which will surely set new standarts in sabre breakage, I need a brave second! Please do not let me walk alone. By the way, I hereby state that I will not go for the free captaincy.

Greetings,
Rene Vaplus
Subaltern of the Royal Marines

(Di, hold still! How can I write when you giggle all the time!)

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Meeting of the Brotherhood

My dear fellow Noblemen,

I write to you to renew my proposal of a combined meeting of the Brotherhood of French Nobles and a celebration of our comrade MG's continued good health to be held the second week of september. I am of the opinion that this would be a splendid idea considering that there has not been a meeting of the Brotherhood in many months, coupled with the fact that many of us has been away at the front, unable to present MG with our congratulations to his aquital personally.

I myself will be honoured, as I have already stated, if I would be allowed to host such an event. You are of course welcome to bring your ladies along, as long as they won't interfer when we discuss matters of the crown.

Baron Julien a'Quse of the Crown Prince's glorious Cuirassiers
Remember - Both snake and sword will bite when badly grasped

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Re: Pastor Farceur?

Frere Jacques,

You do me a great honor by your offer. I would most gladly assume the Pastorship of Our Lady, my only fear being whether or not I could fulfil my duties as well as you. I am sure however the Lord will assist. If you would inform the choir boy of any ways in which I may be of service I will gladly due all I can to assist.

Father Farceur

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Domine Canes indeed!

To: Le Petomane, Lt.Col. Dragoon Guards
From: St. Vierre, Capt. Archduke Leopolds Cuirassiers

Dear Sir,

I understand your fury in this regrettable matter. I too have crossed paths with this errant clergyman. Should he be man enough to accept your challenge, I would be more than honoured to serve as your second, (providing he could find someone to second him).

Humbly,
Anton St. Vierre

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Re: Domine Canes indeed!

Dear Captain St. Vierre,

You and I and Paris know that the dastardly de Villain will not be coming to the duel, as is his prerogative as a member of the priesthood. However, honor demands that I meet him, so there I shall wait. I would further be honored to have you wait with me, and second the duel God willing (even if de Villain is not!).

Rosie informs me that the new chef at Bothwells makes a divine omelet of quail eggs and capers. Allow me to treat you to breaking our fast after the duel! Any who wish to give thanks that Paris has some real priests should join us!

Regards, etc.

Lt. Col. Le Petomane, CO Dragoon Guards

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CdA is receiving a beating at the hands of the Dragoon Guard

Attn. Dragoon Guards
From Lt. Col. Le Petomane

You may have heard that the arch traitor and coward Chicot D'onkey Armagnac is throwing a party for returning soldiers. Why he is throwing a 'welcome home' party, when he himself has just returned from the front, is no doubt a symptom of the further degeneration of his mind from his several diseases of Venus. All Dragoon Guards are hereby encouraged to attend for the purpose of issuing CdA the beating he has so richly earned. I would do this myself, but he has singled me out as the one soldier is Paris not invited. Such is the terror in his heart after no less than six humiliating drubbings he has received at my hands. I'm counting on you, men. Enjoy the party!

End

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Welcome Home Party - addendum

Chicot thought for a moment and then turned to his servant again.

"Make sure you don't let any of those odious Dragoon Guards in. They always seem to pick up the smell of Le Petomane!!

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LP's bitter tear

Le Petomane blotted a single teardrop form his eye. "Now I'll never see that worm Chicot driven black-and-blue through the streets for Paris, like in the olden days . . " he thought.

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Dewey Cheatham's Offer

Estimated Baron Grognard:

Why, whatever are the terms for? I would hate to inquire, but my father is ever so careful about where the funds shall be invested.

Sincerely,
Gestion Onyon

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Code Duello

To: Lt. Col. La Petomaine
From: Capt. St. Vierre

Dear Sir,

It will be my pleasure to stand with you for the sake of honour. Furthermore, Deb and I would love to attend a breakfast with you and the incomparable Rosie. Sincerely,

Anton.

PS. What are your thoughts concerning investments? I have a nest egg that I have been thinking of investing in real estate, however I am not sure. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Dear Captain St. Vierre

Dear Captain St. Vierre,

Rosie and I look forward to meeting you and the divine Deb week 1. As far as real estate, I have found the benefits far exceed the modest investment. My only caution is to avoid undue thrift. The joys of home ownership can only be truly enjoyed in a mansion. I myself found a visit to those pernicious shylocks a necessity, but well worth it!

Regards, etc.
Lt. Col. Le Petomane, CO Dragoon Guards

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Real Estate

To: Lt. Col. Le Petomane, Commanding, DG
From: Capt. St. Vierre, ALC

Sir,

I deeply appreciate your advice, and shall act upon it as soon as possible. I believe that next month I shall be in a position to become landowner my father had in mind. Thanks to God that I found such benefits serving our right and noble King in the Heavy Brigade!

Anton

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A synopsis of HdO's thesis

The need for Increased Naval Presence for France's future:

The thesis presented by Chevalier du Orleans demonstrates the growing need for an increased naval presence within the French military, presenting how the recent successes of the heretic English was hurting French power. The first third of the thesis presents a cost/benefit analysis over the next 80 years, comparing French expenditure in comparison to the English and Ottoman Empires. It shows that with very little work France could have a greater navy then England and would be capable of increasing pressure on other power's colonies. The second third deals with the lack of development in the area of gunnery, with foreign powers lately creating better and more realible guns for their navies. Several recent naval losses against the English and Dutch are sited, demonstrating the need for the creation of a research and development wing to the Royal Military. The final third of the thesis is a point for point plan which explains how the creation of a naval ministry, along with a very small increase in funding, could create a French navy that would be capable of defeating any of her enemies.

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A synopsis of MG's thesis:

On the Hidden Nature of War

War, it is often thought, is the means by which gentlemen prove their bravery, occasionally enrich themselves, and almost certainly, leave this world before they otherwise would.

While true, this is a superficial view. War, in truth, is nothing more and nothing less than diplomacy by other means. It is a tool that is used to create agreement, similar in function but not in kind, to negotiation.

Any relationship between powers, or indeed, between individuals, is either one of agreement on a point or disagreement on the same point. Disagreements can be further divided into two groups: those that are capable of resolution by discussion, exchange of this point for that, et cetera, and those that are not. In the case of the latter, war offers human beings a way to achieve agreement.

At first, this sounds paradoxical, but further examination shows it to be sensible, because in the course of war, the basis of the disagreement is altered. The victor inflicts such damage on the vanquished that the will of the vanquished to resist evapourates. For the vanquished, the point of disagreement becomes one where resolution is sought by negotiations for peace – or in extreme cases, when no terms are offered but unconditional surrender, then agreement instantly arises.

As a result, war is best pursued as a matter of state policy on only the most extreme matters, and then, the object should not be to inflict harm on the enemy for the sake of doing so. Rather, such damage should be caused so as to make the opponent change his mind about the nature of the disagreement.

For example, in the late Wars of the Roses in England, the utter destruction of the Yorkist army by the House of Lancaster or vice versa was pointless. The death of Richard III at Bosworth Field, however, took away the desire of the House of York to resist Henry Tudor. Further killing was unnecessary because the House of York had no further heirs, and indeed, persisting would have been unchristian.

Another insight arising from this is siege warfare. In the traditional siege, the attacker hopes to starve the besieged into submission. But the purpose is not to cause hunger, rather it is to break the will to resist. This means there are other ways to achieve victory rather than hunger, and the diseases and misery that goes with it. For example, as hunger gets worse and worse, small parcels of food could be catapulted into the city by the besieger. The result is the division of the opponent: the hungry resent the fed, and the fed fear the attacker less. Overall the desire to resist together declines. Alternatively, loud noises in the middle of the night, badly sung operas, false charges at the gates, and so forth, while not combat, nonetheles,s make war on the minds of the besieged. And it is the mind that war’s true nature can be found.

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