NOTE: Also recieved information from a brochure from Monroe County Domestic Abuse Project


How to tell if you're in a potentially abusice relationship. Take a long, hard look. Ask yourself...
Does your date have any of the following characteristics?

___ BAD TEMPER. Is your friend short-tempered? Do they take their anger out on inanimate objects, like slamming door and punching walls?

___ EXCESSIVE JEALOUSY. Is he or she always asking you where you went and whom you saw? Do they accuse you of things that you didn't do?

___ HEAVY DRINKING. Does he have to demonstrate his "manhood" by drinking heavily, or using drugs?

___ALWAYS HAS TO BE RIGHT. When you two disagree, are you allowed to have your own opinions? Or are your ideas pushed aside? Are you always being told you don't know what you're talking about?

___ CRUEL TO ANIMALS. Sometimes, abusive people take out their anger and frustrations on innocent animals.

___ MIXES FORCE WITH SEX. Does he ignore you when you say stop or no? Does he do what he wants regardless of what you want?
FRIGHTENS YOU. Sometimes you can tell early--there's just something frightening... something sinister... about your date.

___ PUSHES RELATIONSHIP TOO FAR, TOO FAST. These are marriage-minded people, from the moment you meet them. They'll plan your whole future, if you let them.

___ FASCINATED BY WEAPONS. Does he carry a knife or gun? Does he seem to spend a lot of time "playing" with them?

___ TOO PHYSICAL. Have you been grabbed so hard it left marks? Have you ever missed school/work because of bruises? Have you ever had to rearrange your clothing, your hair, to cover bruises?

___ PRESSURES YOU TO DISOBEY PARENTS. Does he push you to do things that make you uneasy? Does he urge you to disobey your parents?



WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT FROM HIM IN THE FUTURE?

Abuse doesn't just happen to "other people." It doesn't just happen in bad marriages.

And your friend doesn't have to be breaking your arm to be abusing you. Abuse can take many forms, and can happen at any time during a relationship.

Every year, thousands of young people find themselves in abusive realtionships with people they hardly know. It can happen on the first date. It can happen on the 10th.

It can happen to YOU!

Many your people, women especially, stay in abusive relationships because they think their abusive partner will change over time, or that they can change him.

It's not true.

You cna't change someone. Onlt they can do that.

Remember...
It is possible to be aware without being afraid; to take responsibility for your own behavior without being a prude; to request that others not violate your space and your privacy without putting them down.


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