Fun With People
Some think that people suck ... I used to be one of them untill I learned something one day PEOPLE CAN BE FUN!!! How so you might ask well it's easy you see most people live a life that isn't used to anything out of the ordinary or strange in any way. These special people that make up the bulk of my school have very limited tolerences to just plain old downright strangeness and if you tip the boat just a little bit people go from being useless bags of flesh to fun playthings. So if you want to have fun with people read on, but before you do make shure you read the next two paragraphs carefully they contain inportant stuff (which is why there a diffrent color)
~~~DISCLAIMER~~~
While on the whole people have been for the most part receptive to my probings into their reality everyone reacts diffrently some of the things containd from here on in might cause you to get beaten up arested suspended expelled deported and laughted at. So remember be careful and I don't know you.
JKL The Theory of Normalcy JKL
This paragraph is more inportant than rhe last one as it breifly out lines my theory of normalcy which if you pay atension to it can save you a good deal of trouble. It goes like this if something happens on a regular basis then people will eventulay get used to it. The stranger the event the longer it will take time for people to get used to it. When the time comes when people stop questioning the event on a regular basis then it has achieved normalcy. REAL LIFE EXAMPLE~ I start carrying a ratty looking stuffed frog in my pocket. The first week I get many coments and questions. I keep the frog with me every day. By the end of the thrid week the questions and comments have dropped to about 1 evey other day. By the end of the first month the questions and coments have dropped to about 1 a week. At this point if I were to stop carrying the frog around I would have to go through the same process all over again in order to explain it's absense so in essence it has achived normalcy. Why this is so inportant I know not I just thought you should know. Now on with the real fun stuff.
Twinckies and People
Twinckies and people go back a long way here is some fun stuff you can do with them
-JUst the act to takeing a twinckie out of your pocket is enought to send most poeple over the deep end
-Sit down in a luchroom and eat the twinckie with a knife and fork
-After removeing and consumeing the cream filling of a twinckie grab the remains and exclaim in a loud voice "Martha Stewart has a use for this" then run off
-Offer to give people a ride home in your twinckie
-Atatch a twinckie to your shoe (still in the wrapper of course) clain that it's your survivle rations
-Eat the twinckie that is atached to your shoe
-Sit down and begin haveing a conversation with your twinckie if so desire start argueing with it and have the whole thing end in a murder (not nesisarly the twinckies...have fun!!!)
Fun with Misc. Stuff
- Keep a stuffed animal hanging out of your pocket (make shure to name it thats the most common question I got asked)
-Spend ten minuts every moring gathering up misc crap you find around the house or in your closets. Then cram as much of it in your pockets as possible, (now the fun part) periodicaly throughout the day empty your pockets while looking for something or another. (you should have at least 10 items)
-Begin discussing with your self in a loud voice about the possiblity that you never woke up this mornig at all and this is just a dream, be shure to include other people in the conversation as well.
-Keep a ton of candycanes in your pockets and give them out to all that ask for them (trust me this is a lot of fun)
-Draw four leaf clovers on your self eventhough it's not saint patricks day
-Take a black sharpie and color in 4 peices of paper compleatly in fron and back, then claim it is the bible
-Put an exclamation point after your name every time you write it
Elevators
Help make an other wise dull elevator ride a lot of fun
Blow your nose
and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all
of
you just shut UP!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in
there?"
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed
when they open by themselves.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you
Admiral.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the
penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new
socks
on!"
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion
sickness!"
Meow occassionally.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and
move
to the far corner of the elevator.
Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that
this
is your "personal space."
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh
mouf?"
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
I'M really sleepy now more will come very soon sorry!