RPG Deathmatch

*Note:* This is my first attempt at any type of fanfic, especially a deathmatch. So don’t get upset if it sucks. Please e-mail me with your thoughts about this please.

_______________________________________________________________________________Squall.

Reeve: Welcome one and all to the first annual RPG Deathmatch, I’m Reeve and this is…

Moon: I can introduce myself if you don’t mind, I’m Ser, I mean, Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice!

Reeve: Who actually cares?

Bob: I do!

Reeve: Hey, who the !@#$ are you?

Bob: I’m-

Reeve: -IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU ARE! I finally got to do that, WOOHOO!

Moon: Leave him alone will ya?

Reeve: Yeah, sure, whatever, I’ve had my fun already. So Bob, you going to tell us who the hell you are?

Bob: Does it matter?

Reeve: To me? !@#$ no! But seeing as you’re the only fan of moony here. I’m guessing that she might want to know.

Moon: I don’t.

Reeve: You don’t? Ok then, so get the hell out of here Bob!

Bob: And what if I don’t want to?

Reeve: You’ll have to face him.

Bob: Him? Him who?

Cloud: Me!

Bob: *Runs out of the booth, and proceeds to get the hell out of the continent*

Reeve: Thanks Cloud.

Cloud: No problem.

Moon: Your cute.

Cloud: I-uh, have to be going bye.

Cloud: *Runs out of the booth screaming*

Moon: I lose more men that way.

Reeve: Anyway, I guess its time for are first event. Now lets head to the ring. Take it away Cid.

Cid: !@#$ off. Anyway, I’m the announcer, and if you don’t like it, I’ll jam this spear *shows Venus Gospel* in places you had no idea you had!

Audience: Uh-oh.

Cid: Now for the first !@#$%^&* match. In the blue corner, hailing from the world of Final Fantasy III, or VI for those Japanese viewers, the thief lock!

Locke: Treasure Hunter!

Cid: Who gives a rat’s @$$! And in the red corner, also hailing from the FF III/VI world, the Mimic, Gogo.

Gogo: Does pose.

Sephiroth: Since I’m the ref, the-

Reeve: You’re not the ref! Ramza is the ref.

Sephiroth: Ramza had to visit the lifestream, to bad it was a one-way ticket. As I was saying before I got interrupted seeing as I’m the ref, anything goes.

*The two combatants head to the center of the ring, shake hands, and off they go

Locke leads off by summoning Ramuh! Gogo also summons Ramuh!*

Moon: Wha?

Reeve: Gogo can mimic his opponents jabroni.

Moon: Oh.

*The two start duking it out with their weapons, with Gogo gaining the upper hand due to a stronger weapon*

Locke: Nice sword you got, well, had!

Locke: *Charges Gogo and steals his weapon. Leaving Gogo empty in the weapons department*

Gogo: Crap!

*Locke begins slicing the crap out of Gogo with his weapons, while Gogo can’t do didily.*

Locke: And for the finale!

Locke: *Locke uses both weapons together and pierces right through Gogo’s armor connecting straight to his heart!*

Gogo: *Dies*

Sephiroth: And the winner, Locke!

Locke: *Starts jumping up and down*

Reeve: Well that sure was an exciting match, don’t you think so Moony?

Moon: That’s Sailor *Moon* for your big fat information!

Reeve: Did anyone tell you that you’re highly annoying?

Moon: As a matter of fact, Yes!

Reeve: Well, it gives me *great* joy to bring to you all annual sacrifice match. In which one unlucky person has to go against one of superior fighting power. And this is no exception. Take it away Cid!

Cid: In the !@#$%^ blue corner, the sacrificer, from the world of Final Fantasy VII, a friend of mine, Cloud.

Cloud: *Spins sword*

Cid: And, the unlucky @$$whole to face Cloud, the person you all want dead, especially you losers who have been tortured by listening to her for the past while, up in the booth, Sailor !@#$% Moon!

Moon: Wha?

Reeve: *Pushes Moon out of commentating booth into the battle arena*

Sephiroth: Begin.

Cloud: OMNI-SLASH

Moon: Eep. *Dies*

Sephiroth: And the winner is Cloud.

Cloud: Hey Seph, get your @$$ I here! I’m going to finish what I did already. And that is kick your @$$!

Reeve: Looks like we have an impromptu match. Sephiroth versus Cloud. This should be one hell of a match-up.

Cloud: Your mine! *Charges Seph with Ultima Weapon*

Sephiroth: Whatever. *Copies Cloud with a charge of his own with his masamune*

*The two swords clash, then begins the real action, with Cloud and Seph with hit and misses, no side getting the upper hand*

Sephiroth: Is that all you got!

Cloud: Just getting started!

????: Stop the match!

Reeve: What the hell?

Cloud/Seph: What the hell is it!

Tifa: Me!

Cloud: What the hell are you doing?

Sephiroth: …

Tifa: Cloud, I-uh, need to, tell you something.

Cloud: What?

Tifa: I’m pregnant!

Audience/Cloud/Seph/Reeve: Wha?

Cloud: WooHoo! Later Seph. I’m going to have a kid, nya nya nya nya nya. *Leaves with Tifa, leaving the audience stunned.*

Sephiroth: Damn it!

Reeve: Guess you’re the winner by default. And that you’re still going to be the ref.

Sephiroth: Yeah, whatever.

Reeve: Ok, that was looking to be one hell of a match up. Oh well. Maybe on the next fanfic.

Squall.: It’s a possibility.

Reeve: Who are you?

Squall.: The author dumbass!

Reeve: Oh, well the next fanfic promises to be a good one then.

Squall.: Sure is, and as for the way you talked to me, I’m changing the storyline a bit.

Reeve: Your not bringing Moon back are you?

Squall.: No way, I’m not that mean. I’m just going to give you a new partner, for being nice to me. *but be warned, if you, or anyone else in this fic piss me off, I might bring her back!*

Rinoa: Hi Reeve. I’m your new partner.

Reeve: Welcome. (Thanks man!)

Rinoa: What did you say?

Reeve: Uh, I was saying that it’s time to go to the next match.

Rinoa: Uh-Huh.

Reeve: Really. Take it away Cid.

Cid: *Puff puff puff* Oh, in the damn blue corner, hailing from the world of Mario RPG, the Italian bastard, Mario.

Mario: *Jumps up and down*

Cid: And his opponent hailing from the mind of his author, the Canadian Hero Brad Hanson.

Brad: No relation to the hanson’s. Thank God!

Sephiroth: Go already.

Brad: Your going down plumber boy. *Charges Mario with his Champ Blade(Gunblade)*

Mario:*Attacks with his ultra flame*

Brad: *Avoiding it barely* Damn! You almost singed me.

Mario: It’s a me, Mario! *Uses Ultra Jump, and connects with Brad, sending him to the edge of the arena wall.*

Brad: *Wipes Blood of his face* Heh, nice one, now it’s my turn! *Charges Mario, with his Champ Blade giving out sparks as it’s blade scrapes the floor* Fury Slice!

Mario: *Gets hit with Limit Break, sending him into orbit!* Mamamiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Cid: The winner, Brad Hanson!

Brad: Yes! *Swings Champ Blade around for victory pose before returning it to it’s sling.*

Reeve: What a match!

Rinoa: There is no doubt about that.

Reeve: Lets go to are new interviewer, Aeris.

*Backstage*

Aeris: Thank you Reeve, I’m standing next to the man of the minute, until the next match, Brad. So Brad, do you have a girlfriend?

Brad: I-uh, thought we were going to talk about the match?

Aeris: Pish-Posh, I’m asking the questions here. So, do you?

Brad: At this moment, no I do not.

Aeris: Really eh. *Gets right up to Brad* So, what are you doing tonight?

Brad: I-uh-well, uh, I was planning on going to stay home, watch the television, go online, *Check out Fanfic Stories*, then waste the night away playing mindless video games.

Aeris: *Shocked* Me to! You want to use my house, I have a cable modem.

Brad: *Also shocked* Sure. *Brad and Aeris walk hand in hand away.*

Reeve: Well, that certainly was weird.

Rinoa: Sure was.

Reeve: *Remembering Squall.’s warning* But not a bad thing. Whew.

Rinoa: So, what’s the next match?

Reeve: Thanks for bringing it up, this is the final match for the evening, it’s a battle royal, of all the main hero’s from all the RPG’s that Squall. could think of, except for the now orbiting Mario, and the expecting Father Cloud.

Cid: I hate this !@#$%^& job! There’s Squall (Not me!), Chrono, the hero of Secret of Mana, Terra, Fei, Goku, and Rei I, II and III,. *All do their stupid poses*

They all split up into groups of two if: -Squall vs. Chrono

-SoM and Fei vs. Goku

-Rei I vs. Rei II

-Rei III vs. Terra

*SoM/Fei and Goku*

SoM: *Pulls out Mana Blade*

Fei: Get ready to meet your maker.

Goku: Kamayama-ya! *Kamayamaya destroys SoM and Fei on contact* To easy.

*Rei I and Rei II*

*Both turn into dragons and fight, with no one gaining upper hand.*

Goku: *Entering there battle* I’ll take you both on! *Starts fighting Dragons.*

*Rei III and Terra*

Rei III: Dragon! *Turns into Dragon*

Terra: *Pulls out magicite* Odin.

Odin: *Cuts Rei III in half*I don’t take order’s from you anymore !@#$% *Slices Terra in half also, killing her, and Rei III*

*Squall and Chrono*

Squall: *Pulls out Lionheart.*

Chrono: *Pulls out Rainbow Sword*

Squall: *Charges Chrono, and swipes at Chrono’s head.*

Chrono: *Parry’s attack and swipes at Squall, who blocks the attack.*

*Keep attacking back and forth, no one gaining advantage, showing no sign of exhaustion.*

*Back to Rei I and Rei II vs. Goku*

*Rei I and II, both in dragon form shoot fire at Goku, who simply puts up a Chi Shield. Which blocks there attacks with ease*

Rei II and Rei I: Sh1t! Is there anyway to hurt this guy!?!?!

Goku: Nope. *Uses Masenko, which disintegrates the Rei’s.*

Vegeta: *Flies into arena* So Kakarott, is this what you do for fun, kicking these weakling with such low fighting power?

Goku: Yup. What are you going to do about it? *Goes SSJ 4*

Vegeta: *Also going SSJ 4* Kick your ass!

Goku: Might I suggest a different fighting arena, I don’t want any of these people to get killed!

Vegeta: So be it. Kame’s Tower?

Goku: Fine.

*Goku and Vegeta fly off*

Reeve: Get Likitu to fly after them.

Rinoa: Can’t.

Reeve: Why the hell not!

Rinoa: He’s sick with the flu.

Reeve: Damn, guess he’s disqualified then.

*Squall and Chrono*

Squall: *Parrying another attack of Chrono’s barely* Damn your good!

Chrono: *Blocking a counter attack of Squall’s* Your not so bad yourself.

*Still no waver in whose winning.*

Chrono: *Steps back and starts charging for a magic spell, while Squall is charging for a Limit Break*

Chrono: Luminiare!

Squall: Crap! *Gets nailed with it, right through the wall of the arena, but manages to get up.*

Chrono: Amazing! He survived my strongest attack, you’re good.

Squall: Not good, Great! Lion Heart Limit Attack *You should know what happens now, slash slash slash etc.*

Chrono: I can’t believe I lost, good job Squall. *Dies*

Cid: And the winner is Squall!

Squall: Does victory taunt.

Reeve: What a match!

Rinoa: Way to go Squall!

Reeve: Well, that’s seems to be the end of the first annual RPG Deathmat-

*Hurling Ball of fire going towards arena*

Audience: It’s a bird, no wait a plane, no wait, it’s the remains of Mario!

Reeve: While the clean up crew clean up Mario and the other losers of the final match with a spatula, I would like to say, the people of angelfire, Coke-Cola, Nestle Quik Cereal, have brought today’s deathmatch to you. Thank you all for watching the first annual RPG Deathmatch!

___________________________________Da End!___________________________________________

Thank you all for reading my first fanfic. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. As usual, send in your feelings on this fanfic to me Squall.