"I'm back,"Cait Sith called out as he walked into Cloud's Villa in Costa del Sol.But he got no response.He walked into the kitchen to find Tifa and Aeris sitting at the table talking.

"I have no idea what I ever saw in Cloud?"said Tifa.

"I feel the same way about Zack,"said Aeris,"like just look at all his spiky black hair. How'd he manage to get it like that?Stick" "his finger in a wall plug?"

"Exactly,"answered Tifa,"So who do you like?"

"Hojo,"replied Aeris,"all that greasy black hair drives me wild.How about you?"

"I personally like Palmer,'said Tifa,"Say,I have an idea.Let's go to Midgar and tell them exactly how we think about them."

"Great idea,"said Aeris,"let's go."

The two of them stood up and raced past Cait giggling.

"I wonder what that was all about?"he said as he watched the two girls leave the Villa.Cait shrugged and walked into the living room to find Yuffie sitting in Cid's lazy boy chair watching the Dukes of Hazard.

"Go Dukes!"yelled Yuffie.

"Why are you watching that?"he asked her,"I thought you hated that show?"

"No way,"said Yuffie,"The Dukes of Hazard is a great show!"

Just then Red XIII jumped on him."Give me all your Materia,"he said.

"Why do you want my Materia?"he asked.

"No reason,"replied Red grabbing Cait's Materia,"I just do."He then ran off.

Cait watched him leave then headed down to the basement.It was there that he found a drunk Vincent singing.

"Nine million bottles of beer on the wall,"sang Vincent,"Nine million bottles of beer.Take a whole lot down.Give them to" "me.One bottle of beer on the wall."

"What's wrong with you?"asked Cait.

"Nutting's wrong with me,"said Vincent.

"What do you mean nothing's wrong with you?"said Cait,"you're drunk."

Vincent stood up and staggered over to Cait Sith."Am not,"he said.He then passed out into the pile of plastic bottles and beer cans that were laying around the floor.

Cait shook his head."Why is everyone acting so strange?"he said .

"I don't see anything wrong with the way everyone is acting?"said Sephiroth who suddenly appeared behind Cait Sith.

"Say?'said Cait,"Why are you here?Didn't you want to take over the world and rule it as a god?"

"Me?"said Sephiroth,"No I'm a member of Avalanche."

"Well?"said Cait,"if you didn't want to,then who are we fighting?".

Cloud,"replied Sephiroth,"don't you remember?"

"Well who's the leader of our group then?"asked Cait.

"Why silly,"said Sephiroth,"Marlene,Barrett's four year old daughter is."

"WHAT!!"screamed Cait,"We're following the orders of a four year old!!!"

"That's right,"said Sephiroth.

"Then we're all doomed!!"screamed Cait,"Cloud's probably already summoned Meteor and we're all going to die."

"Don't sweat it,"said Sephiroth,"what Cloud doesn't know is that before he took control of my mind back at the Temple of the" "Ancients is that Red XIII stole the Black Materia from me."

"So if Red stole the Black Materia from you?"said Cait,"then what does Cloud have?"

"A plain black rock,"answered Sephiroth.

                                                     ****************************

Cloud stood inside the Northern Crater laughing insanely."I've done it,"he said,"I've summoned Meteor.Now I'll I've got to do" "is wait for that stupid Avalanche team to show up and try to stop me."He then laughed some more.

                                                ********************************

"So there's no way Cloud can summon Meteor?"said Cait as he and Sephiroth left the basement.

"Nope,"said Sephiroth.
 
                                                  *********************************

Cloud looked towards the sky."Why can't I see that Meteor yet?'he wondered aloud.He then looked at the rock Sephiroth had given him."WHAT THE!!!"he screamed,"This is nothing but a @%!&*$& black rock.I'll teach Sephiroth  a lesson he'll" "never forget."Cloud then disappeared.

                                                     **********************************

Just then Barrett and Cid raced in to the Villa."Sorry we took so long,"said Barrett,"but Marlene had us checking out every" "child's closet for monsters."
 
"Yeah,"replied Cid,"we can successfully tell her there are no monsters."

"And after we can relax."said Barrett.

"Say,"said Cait,"how come you're not talking in Ebonics?"

"Ebonics?"said Barrett,"what kind of language is that?"

Then he and Cid raced into Marlene's playroom.

A few minutes later Zack walked into the Villa.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?"said Cait.

"Dead?'said Zack,"that's a good one.Do I look dead to you?"

"Ow,"said Tifa as she and Aeris were dragged into the Villa by Rufus.

"Hey Reeve,"said Rufus,"can't you control these women of yours?They show up at the Reno Towers and attack poor Hojo" "and Palmer.They had to use the jaws of life to get Aeris off of Hojo.The poor guy will probably never be the same again."
"At least Reno agreed to pay for his stay at the rest home he was taken to.I hope if I ever had a company that I'd be as nice as" "he is."

"What do you mean if?"asked Cait,"you do own a company.Shinra,remember?"

"Boy,"said Zack,"you really are quite funny today aren't you?First you think that I should be dead for some reason then you tell" "Rufus that he owns a company called Shinra.Imagine telling our spy that?"Zack then walked off laughing.

Sephiroth turned to Aeris."Why did you attack my father?"he asked her.

"Because I'm in love with him,"she answered.

"I guess that's a good enough reason,"said Sephiroth.

Just then Cloud appeared."YOU!!"he screamed at Sephiroth,"What have you done with the Black Materia!"

"I'd love to tell you,"said Sephiroth,"but I can't because I don't have it?"

"Then who does?"shouted Cloud.

"Give me all your Materia,"said Red XIII as he jumped on Cloud.

"He does,"said Sephiroth.

Tifa then walked up to Cloud."Where have you been!"she yelled at him.

"Uh..trying to take over the world.Why?"he stuttered nervously.

"Taking over the world!"screamed Tifa,"just who do you think you are?You're supposed to be making our dinner remember!"

"But I thought it was Yuffie's turn tonight?'he said.

"No,"said Tifa,"it's your turn tonight.So get in that kitchen and get started."She pointed towards the kitchen.

Cloud lowered his head and walked away towards the kitchen."I never get to have any fun,"he mumbled to himself.

Cait Sith looked at Tifa."you actually let Yuffie cook for us?"he said.

"Yes I do,'she said,"Why do you ask?"

He walked over to Sephiroth and whispered in his ear.

"What do you mean her cooking is as bad as Akane Tendo's?"said Sephiroth.

"Oh no,"said Tifa backing away from Sephiroth,"I hope she didn't hear you say that."

Just then the front door of the Villa flew open.

"I guess she did,"said Cait backing away,"that's why I didn't say it."

Akane strode up to Sephiroth .She raised the frying pan she was holding."I HEARD THAT!"she screamed hitting him with the pan.

Ranma looked in a second later.He walked up to the unconscious Sephiroth."Well that will teach that poor guy not to insult" "that uncute tomboy's cooking again,"he said.He then noticed horrified looks on the faces of Tifa and Cait.He gulped."She's" "behind me isn't she?"he said nervously.

Tifa slowly nodded.

"RANMA!"screamed Akane.She hit him on the back of his head sending flying through the roof.

Zack walked in a second later."How come is it everytime you come over,"he said to Akane,"we end up having to get our roof" "repaired?If you keep doing that I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you not to come here again." A second later he was also sent into orbit.

"God,"said Cait pinching himself,"please let this be a nightmare."

                                                       ***********************
 
Reeve sat up straight in bed screaming.He sat gasping for a few minutes then turned on the light next to him."That's the last" "time,"he said,"I let Tseng talk me into letting me allow Elena cook dinner for me."