The Pasture
The Pasture is home to the cows here at The Black Tower. We
raise and feed them and when they are all nice and plump we send in our
specialty butcher and he massacres the unsuspecting bovines. Although
these animals may seem incredibly stupid, they have been an incredible
inspiration to many of The Black Tower's inhabitants. Here
is some of the work that has been donated to glorifying the name of the
cows:
The first masterpiece devoted to the glory of cows is a painting created
by one of our most gifted artists. His undeniable obsession with
cows has inspired him to create "COW". E-mail Pete "Great Cow" Holman
at thegreatcow@hotmail.com.
This next beefy selection comes from Colin "Gray Peace" Closser.
The epic myth of cows escaping the clutches of the evil butchers has inspired
many authors and the same has happened to Closser. Direct your comments
of his work straight to him by clicking here.
At Tyson Farms in Texas,
The cows had had enough.
The ranchers came with cattle prods,
And then the cows got rough.
The stupid cattle ranchers
Had thought the cows were weak.
They quickly learned their bovines were
Anything but meek.
"They can't rebel!" the meat folks said,
"They're simply not that smart!"
The cows then stormed the factory door
And tore those fools apart.
The bovines jumped the factory walls
To terrorize the state.
They seized the governor
And burned him at the stake.
They liberated other cows
And taught them how to fight.
Cows spread throughout the world and killed
Every last man in sight.
The bloody fight had ended,
And the cows had clearly won
They gathered every human corpse
And served it on a bun.
The moral? There is only one:
Be careful what you eat
For if you even touch a cow
They'll grind YOU into meat!
The "Great Cow" shares some of his literary expertise with us in "Cow Poem".
This tale depicts a grand battle between the escaping cows and the pursuing
butchers during the cows' divine quest for independence.
The bovines were ready,
They prepared for war,
While creating a dome of C-H-4.
The butchers were coming,
They were ready for battle,
They knew they could easilly slay all the cattle.
Cows gave the signal,
Then they pulled out their guns,
The cows shot up the men - and put them on buns.
When the battle was over,
The butchers were beaten,
They knew another cow would never be eaten.
I must also note that this poem was handed in for an assignment in his
11th Grade Honors American Literature course. The "Great Cow"
recieved a stunning 6/10 on the project with comments from the teacher
like "I don't think this is appropriate" and "it does not keep with the
assignment." Needless to say, the "Great Cow" is still recovering
from the emotional loss in this situation. Send your sympathies to
him at thegreatcow@hotmail.com
If you have any work devoted to the glorification of cows and would like
them on the Net, send them to me at ashe4321@yahoo.com
Also, visit Cows With Guns
, a music group that has devoted their music to cows. (obsessed?
I think so.)
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here to return to The Black Tower