Letters to the Editor


Dear 2600 Connection: Why don't you people just give up and admit that the Atari 2600 is as dead as 8-track tapes? The new systems are awesome, the games are radical, the graphics are great, and the sound and music are freakin' amazing. The 2600 sucks. Play a game system that you can buy in a real store, not a flea market.
- Any 13-year-old via the Internet

Spoken like somebody who was happy to pay $60 for "Bubsy 3-D." Hey, we're desperately trying to hold onto our childhood, so back off. We're closer to death than you are, and by the time you're our age you'll be clutching your copy of "PaRappa the Rapper" like your life depended on it. Besides, as our eyes get older the 2600's graphics look better and better. Pretty soon, we won't be able to tell that any of the 2600's graphics are flickering. For that matter, we'll soon be so senile that we'll think the 2600 games are brand new! Won't that be fun? Now go play in traffic.

Dear 2600 Connection: I found a new trick for the Atari 2600. If you throw it into water it floats.
- The same 13-year old

That works even better with your parents' laptop computer. Try it!

Dear Editor: I live in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona, and I was digging really deep in my back yard when I found a bunch of E.T. cartridges. They smell bad, but otherwise are in good shape. There seem to be a whole lot of them. How much are they worth?
-Name and address withheld by request

About as much now as they were then.

Dear Editor: Here's a new 2600 Easter Egg for you to try. Plug two joysticks into your 2600 and set both difficulty switches to "A." Play Missile Command at difficulty A until you reach the level where the sky turns bright blue. When you get a score ending in a prime number (1,2,3,5, or 7), let yourself die. If the number of cities you have left is also a prime number, while leaving the system on, unplug the "Missile Command" cartridge then insert Pitfall II." Flash the select switch the same number of times as the last digit in your Missile Command score, then flip the Left and Right Difficulty switches to B. Simultaneously press RESET, Joystick Fire (both joysticks), and press Up and Left on the left joystick while you press Down and Right on the right joystick (to do this you may need to use a foot or your chin). Suddenly, your picture will become a series of vertical colored bands (two colors alternating) and the sound will play a single tone.
-Somebody with A Lot Of Time On My Hands

I'm not familiar with this 2600 trick. Readers?

Dear 2600 fans: I used to work for Purina Pet Food Corporation, and I have about ten thousand copies of an Atari 2600 game called Chase The Chuckwagon in my garage. I've heard that they're worth about $200 each. Am I rich?
-Name and address withheld from the IRS

Dear Stupid: You might have been if you hadn't told us about all of them at one time. Go look up the definition of "collectible" in the dictionary.

Dear Connection: I read somewhere that the Atari 2600 was actually a sophisticated two-way device that allowed the government to spy on you in your home, transmitting live pictures to the FBI in Washington. I've also heard that it could identify all of the TV shows you watched and videos you rented, and whether you made copies of them. Is any of this true?
-The old guy wandering the city with tinfoil on his head

Dear Tinfoil: Actually, that's what the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) was used for. Avoid it and advise your friends to destroy the vile device whenever they see one.

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