From: newnajar@aol.com (New Najar)
The Earth-Shattering Secret
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic
by Neil Robertson
One Monday afternoon, a knock came on Nabiki's bedroom door. "Nabiki-chan, this
message is for you."
"Thank you, Kasumi-oneechan," she responded and quickly opened the door to her
room, accepting the sealed envelope. As Kasumi looked on, Nabiki tore the
letter open and read the contents to herself. The letter itself was a mosaic of
cut and pasted kana from magazines, newspapers, and manga...
Nabiki Tendou,
This Friday night, between 8:00 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. in front of Furinkan High
School, the most terrible and embarrassing secret of Ranma Saotome will be
publicly revealed. It will be Earth-shattering! You are the only one being
informed about this revelation. You know what you must do.
My revenge will be complete.
There was no signature on the letter.
Nabiki gave the matter quick thought. What she should do is tell Ranma-kun
about it, as it seemed to be a challenge to him. But why would the note be sent
to her instead of Ranma? Perhaps she should sell him this bit of information.
Kasumi noticed the contemplative look on Nabiki's face. "Is there something I
can do to help you, Nabiki-chan?"
"...Not just now. Maybe later. Thanks again," she replied with a quick smile,
and so Kasumi returned to her normal household chores.
A few moments later, Nabiki also departed her room, heading downstairs and then
outdoors, finding Ranma in the dojo, working out as usual for this time of day.
She watched him go through a portion of his kata while she made up her mind.
"Hey, Ranma-kun!"
Ranma stopped his work-out, only now noticing that Nabiki had been watching
him. He took a moment to grab his shirt from the floor and tossed it around his
shoulders as he walked over to her. Nabiki wryly noted that Ranma seemed to
show more signs of modesty when he was topless as a male than as a female.
"Yeah, whadda ya want?" he asked in his standard thoughtless-but-harmless
manner.
Nabiki looked him evenly in the eyes. "Do you think you have any secrets in
your past? Something you'd hate to have revealed to the world?"
He raised an eyebrow for a moment, then replied with his usual brashness, "Heh!
If I did, do you think I'd tell them to you?"
Nabiki didn't bat an eyelash.
Something seemed to alert Ranma just then. He changed his tone, but it was just
a fraction of a moment too late. "Why, uhh, why'd you wanna know something like
that?"
"Oh, it was just a passing notion, think nothing of it," she said with a
musical lilt to her remark. "Just go on with your practice, as if I was never
here," and she turned and walked away.
Ranma watched her for a moment, then did precisely what she suggested.
Inside the house, Nabiki got on the telephone. "Hello, Kunou-chan... Yes, this
is Nabiki Tendou... No, I don't have any new photos for you... maybe soon...
No, but I have something you may want to purchase regarding Saotome..."
At this point, she had to pull the phone away from her ear for a couple of
seconds. "...No, I understand perfectly well you don't want any photographs of
him. What I'm offering is information, something that you may find VERY useful
to know about Ranma... no, I can't give you a hint what it's about... well
then, I'll just say that it should be very, umm, (she quickly glances at the
note in her hand) terrible and embarrassing to him, especially if he learns
that YOU know about it... Oh, I think it might be VERY juicy... well, you can
imagine for yourself just what kinds of things he might have hidden in his
past... and for a small 'finder's fee,' I can tell you when and where you need
to be in order to learn this amazing secret for yourself! ... Oh, I think
20,000 yen is a most reasonable cost for something THIS damaging to the
reputation of the Great Ranma Saotome. Just be sure to let no one else in on
our little secret, and I'll find you a great little hidey-hole where you can
discreetly see and hear the secret for yourself... Fine, I'll be over later
this week to collect the fee and give you the time and location. Pleasure doing
business with you. Ta ta for now." And then she hung up the phone.
"Well, that's the first one," she thought to herself, then flipped through the
pages of her little black book to find the phone numbers of more of Ranma's
various 'acquaintances.' Male or female, friend, foe, or fiancee, there were
simply loads of people who'd just love to have that one exciting secret of
Ranma Saotome to utilize against him (or possibly protect him from) for any
number of reasons. This could turn out to be one of the most profitable plans
ever dropped into her lap. The note said she'd know what to do; man-o-man, did
she ever!
* * *
Tatewaki Kunou: At last, this has to be the secret of the Vile Wizard Saotome's
hold over the Pig-Tailed Goddess. Be brave, my dear, for your Warrior shall
break your Wizard and free you at last!
* * *
Mousse: Yes! Should I ever fail to defeat Saotome in actual combat, I can
threaten to reveal his secret to the world. What a great plan. Who else but I
could conceive of such an original scheme?
* * *
Ryouga Hibiki: ...
(Hmm, thought Nabiki, no answer at his home phone number. I'll have to try
again later.)
* * *
Happosai: Of course, the boy has no secrets from me. He's always had the
potential of being a great evil pervert. Still, this would be a good way to
confirm the facts and keep him going in the right direction.
* * *
Pantyhose Tarou: Heh. Fem-boy has no secret more embarrassing than his current
curse. I'm not interested.
(I guess I need another angle to get him to show up, thought Nabiki...)
* * *
Hikaru Gosunkugi: Aaaaii! The sister of Akane Tendou is speaking to me!
:::faints:::
* * *
The Furinkan High School Principal: Oh-Ho! That IS good news. Mebbe now the boy
will listen to the Big Kahuna now. I be there for sure, you betcha!
* * *
Miss Hinako: Oh, that bad juvenile delinquent has been even MORE naughty, has
he? Well, we'll just see about what kind of punishment he deserves after THIS!
* * *
Ryouga Hibiki: ...
(Nabiki sighs to herself, I might have better luck just trying random telephone
numbers.)
* * *
Cologne: It might be worth it indeed. Any solid information can be useful in
shaping the future.
* * *
Ukyou Kuonji: How can you possibly charge for something that might hurt
Ranchan? Oh yes, I forgot who I'm speaking to. Yes, well, I HAVE to be there to
keep word of this from spreading around. You're SURE I'm the only one who'll
hear about it, right?
* * *
Kodachi Kunou: You must be mad if you think I would allow the world to know the
secret Ranma-sama and I share together. Our trysts must remain so hidden that
even Ranma may not be allowed to learn of them. I shall accept your offer to be
the one and only soul to hear it.
* * *
Shampoo: Shampoo know all there is to know about Husband. No one must be
permitted to tell lies about Ranma and live!
* * *
And on and on went the calls. Nabiki talked to Akari Unryuu, the Gambler King,
Kunoichi Konatsu, Ryuu Kumon, Tsubasa Kurenai, the Golden Pair, Herb, Doctor
Tofu, even the BakeNeko (although how she got the Ghost Cat's phone number,
only the Goddesses know), assuring each listener that he or she would be
well-hidden from sight and the only person to learn the mysterious secret. She
negotiated a unique price for each individual, saying or doing whatever it took
to guarantee that that the client would unfailingly show up for the revelation,
even if it meant giving a slight discount. Follow-up calls to Gosunkugi and
Pantyhose Tarou eventually convinced them to show up, even at her asking price.
Naturally, the sheer number of calls drew the eventual attention of Soun and
Genma. Without trying to eavesdrop (well, not TOO hard), they picked up the
gist of what was going to happen.
"Daughter," Soun began in his most earnest, parental voice, "I don't believe
what you're doing is in the best interests of Ranma and our families..."
"Oh, Daddy, don't be silly. You know perfectly well I would never charge you or
'Uncle' Saotome for the privilege of hearing Ranma's big mystery revealed. I
just want to make sure that, if it's going to be revealed publicly, our family
won't become impoverished over any ramifications from it. Besides, I'm quite
certain Uncle knows all of Ranma's secrets anyway." At this, she turned to face
Genma. "Would you say you know of any terrible or embarrassing secrets he might
have, whether through his efforts or... anyone else's?" And she smiled nice and
viciously at the older man.
"Well," harrumphed the man who most wanted to be hit with any quantity of cold
water right at that very moment, "I'm sure it can't be anything more than a
minor youthful indiscretion, nothing of any real consequence to anyone.
Really!"
"In that case," she said with deceptive ease, "I don't see why our whole family
can't go there and just enjoy the show. We could make an evening picnic of it."
"Umm, it... seems like a good idea," Soun said with no small amount of relief.
Not only would he get to know the Big Secret for free, but this might give him
some leverage in future dealings with Saotome-kun. "It would be good for us to
know any potentially damaging news first, so that we could prepare for any,
umm, retaliations... if necessary!" he added quickly. "Right, Saotome-kun?"
"It would be prudent to know all the hidden truths. An informed man is an armed
man," Genma thought to himself. Out loud, he said, "A free picnic! Yummy!"
Soun and Nabiki just stared at him.
Genma slapped his forehead. "Acck! I meant to SAY the first and THINK the
other!"
* * *
Over the next couple of days, Nabiki scouted the landscape around Furinkan High
School and made sure she knew plenty of spots where all the players could
individually conceal themselves from whoever was going to make the big
announcement (and coincidentally, from each other). She worked out a schedule
for each person to be brought in at least ten minutes apart from each other,
and all had agreed that Nabiki would personally give them the all-clear sign so
they knew they could safely, secretly depart. All Nabiki had to make sure was
that her family would come last and depart first. For the last couple of days,
she collected all her monies and gave the precise instructions to all involved.
Just about everyone Ranma knew was going to be there, hidden away, to hear
whatever secret shame he thought no one knew.
While collecting on Thursday, she had the fortune of bumping into Ryouga, who
was looking for the dojo as usual.
"Oh yes," Nabiki explained to him, "Tomorrow night, the most dishonorable
secret Ranma knows will become common knowledge to... to one special person.
And only I know where and when it will be revealed."
To Ryouga, there was only one secret Ranma could possibly need to hide, and
that was one Ryouga also did not want revealed; namely, that Ryouga and P-chan
were one and the same. "You must tell me," he said with way too much energy for
Nabiki to appreciate, "where will this be?!?"
"How much do you have on you?" she asked, already fearing his answer.
"I... do not have any money right now," Ryouga replied with an ashen face and
voice.
This news came as no surprise to Nabiki, but now her ulterior motive came into
play. She knew that whoever wanted to humiliate Ranma was doing so out of
revenge, so she had to contact everyone Ranma knew to find out if they would
pay to see Ranma embarrassed. There had to be at least ONE person who would not
show up, and that would have to be the person actually revealing the secret. By
appearing to set-up a direct money-making scam, Nabiki could actually uncover
the identity of the letter-writer. Of course, she actually had to acquire their
money as well, but that was just to make it look convincing. So far, everyone
she had contacted had agreed to appear; even Happosai, whom Nabiki was almost
certain must have been behind the planned assault. But the only person who
wasn't going to show up was Ryouga. And it just seemed too outlandish to
consider the possibility of him being the author of the Mystery Note. How could
he even be sure to show up at the time and place for the announcement? Yet he
was the only one who fit her theory to date...
"Do you really want to be there for it?" she asked him earnestly.
"Very much so," he answered, "but I cannot afford to pay you for the
information."
Another swift decision for Nabiki to make... "Okay, go to Furinkan High and get
up on the roof right by the clock tower. Be sure I can see you from the front
of the schoolyard. Don't move a muscle and no one will see you. Be prepared to
wait for quite a while, but you better get started there now," and with that,
she grabbed him by the shoulders and sent him on a straight line for the
school. She figured that no one would be looking up at the clock, but she would
be able to see him and know whether or not he was the actual culprit.
He took off like a streak of light and actually stayed on the path for as far
as Nabiki could trace him in sight. "Hmm, if he isn't the mastermind, he must
be pretty concerned about the secret itself..." and she pondered a bit more.
* * *
Friday morning, and Nabiki was a whirling dervish of activity. She actually
skipped class to make sure the arrangements went smooth. She met most of the
spies at prearranged meeting places and told them at what time to arrive and
where to hide when they got there. She even glimpsed Ryouga up near the school
clock. He waved at her when he saw her, but she only gave him a sliding finger
across her throat as a reminder that he wasn't supposed to move at all. By the
time school was let out for the day, Nabiki came home on schedule. All she had
to do now was make sure the family would get there on time for the grand
revelation.
Kasumi had indeed prepared a picnic supper for the family, and they would go to
a nearby park until Nabiki was ready to move everyone into position.
"I don't think I should go along with you all," Kasumi suddenly announced. "We
really should have someone stay behind to take care of the house while the rest
of you are all away."
Nabiki was surprised! Kasumi? Of all people! But then, she WAS the one who
delivered the letter to Nabiki in the first place; she never said it actually
came in the mail! What possible secret could she know about Ranma? What revenge
could she want?
"Nonsense, Big Sister, Ranma will be here, and there's no one who could do a
better job of protecting the place, eh?"
Soun and Genma both looked as if they were ready to contradict Nabiki's
sweeping statement, but she shot them a look that unmistakably said
'you-DO-want-to-come-along-and-hear-the-big-secret,-don't-you?' The two men
quickly backed Nabiki up and insisted Kasumi come along and enjoy the picnic as
well.
"Besides," Nabiki added with a knowing smile, "you delivered the letter to me
in the first place... since you were in at the very beginning, surely you want
to be there with us to see it to the conclusion, eh?"
"Oh. Oh my. ...All right," she conceded sweetly, "perhaps I will come too."
Now Nabiki was beginning to feel more in control of the situation. If no one
shows up to make the announcement, she'd know for sure that this was some kind
of plan on Kasumi's part. True, she'd have to refund all the money to the
people expecting to hear what the mystery was... that would be awkward, but she
should be able to smooth-talk her way around most of them. But then she knew
she could either get Kasumi to tell her the secret directly, which she could
use on Ranma herself, or else she could gouge Ranma for protecting him on the
basis of the note alone, by saying she'd already learned the secret. In the
long run, she might not come out as far ahead, but she could still come out of
this with fair pocket change.
* * *
The family finished supper at the park and then they moved along toward the
High School. Since Nabiki knew where to look, she was able to confirm that
everyone was in place for the exposure of the Big Secret, even Ryouga atop the
roof of the school. None of them gave any sign of being aware of any of the
others. It didn't really matter if they found out about everyone else after the
revelation, so long as Ranma didn't know that they knew it.
Ranma... that was the one thing that bothered Nabiki, at least a little. Maybe
it was a just a twinge of her normally-well-suppressed conscience, but
something seemed to be wrong in this whole set-up. For a moment, it crossed
Nabiki's mind that maybe this was some kind of practical joke Ranma might be
playing on her. After all, hadn't he accused her a number of times of
blackmailing him or using him in her schemes to make money? Maybe this could be
some sort of 'get even' ploy of his. But the fact that the accusations were
true didn't mean that Ranma would act on them. He never could bring himself to
fight any female, and Nabiki was positive this applied to practical jokes as
well as combat. Besides, when she brought up the topic of hidden secrets to
him, Ranma really seemed to have no idea what she was talking about. He's a
great fighter, but a terrible liar. The bottom line is that it would be too
clever a plan for the boy to be able to concoct. No, whatever's going on, it
isn't anything of Ranma's creation. Kasumi, maybe. Ryouga, almost possibly...
Ranma? Not a chance.
The hour of 8 was fast approaching, and now Nabiki was quietly hustling in
Genma and the Tendous into their spying positions in the brushes near the
school gate. Soun leaned over to Nabiki and asked, "What type of announcement
are we looking for? Will there be a sign or a movie, some kind of recording?"
"I don't know, the message didn't say," Nabiki answered back. "All it said was
that Ranma's secret would be revealed."
"How do we know we're in the right place to see it?" Genma brought up.
"Shouldn't we sneak in closer?"
"We can't, Uncle," she said with a trace of annoyance in her voice, "there are
too many other 'friends' of Ranma around just now, and I don't think it would
be a good idea to be in their midst if..." and at this point, she shot a glance
at Kasumi, "...if something should go wrong."
Kasumi, for her part, gave no reaction one way or the other to Nabiki's veiled
implication.
The first time Nabiki checked her wristwatch, it read 8:06 p.m. "How much
longer is it going to be?" Genma grumped.
"The note said sometime between 8 and 8:30 p.m. Try not to be too impatient."
8:13 p.m.
8:20 p.m.
Nabiki was pretty sure nothing was going to happen by now, but she couldn't be
sure who the mastermind was. She had it narrowed down to two suspects but had
no further clues. In desperation, she pulled the original message out of the
envelope from inside her purse to see if there was anything she had overlooked.
"I do wish whatever is going to happen would happen soon," Soun, on the verge
of self-explosion, interrupted her research.
"He's probably trying to build up suspense," Nabiki said weakly as she
continued examining the note. The truth is, Nabiki was all but certain that
nothing was going to happen now that Kasumi was with them and she could still
see Ryouga on the roof.
And then Nabiki spotted it... the one fatal error that the criminal always
makes that gives the whole thing away. Right then, Nabiki knew exactly who the
guilty party was. Not necessarily WHY, but definitely WHO.
Kasumi did have an unusual look on her face which further seemed to convince
Nabiki of her guilt. "So, Big Sister, are you getting a little concerned about
what we might, or might not, get to hear tonight?"
"Well, to be truthful," Kasumi began timidly, "I'm a little more concerned
about Akane. I'm not sure it was fair to her to leave behind the way we did."
"Hey, I couldn't very well tell her about this. Despite her protests about
Ranma, she's a little more involved with him than she'll ever admit. She'd
probably rat it out to him. Besides, she'll find out all about this soon enough
when the gang start hollering about the big secret. They'll never keep it
quiet; I've been told it IS rather Earth-shattering, after all."
"Yes, I suppose it will be. I guess I'm just a little nervous, that's all."
Nabiki, confident that she had successfully thwarted Kasumi's mysterious
scheme, decided it was time to tip her hand and let on what she knew. "I don't
blame you for being nervous, Big Sister. After all, you weren't expecting to be
here with all of us at this very moment, did you?"
"Not really, no," Kasumi said with a wistful look. "I really should be at home
just now, doing the dusting. Although it WAS nice having the picnic," she added
with a smile. She hated saying anything with ended with a regret.
"Oh, come on!" Nabiki said, a little louder than she intended. "I know all
about your plan to reveal your big mysterious Secret about Ranma here tonight.
I just wish I'd thought about it a little more before I got all these other
people here involved. If I HAD been thinking more clearly, I would have noticed
that the stamp on the envelope you handed me hasn't been canceled by the Post
Office," and she pulled out the envelope and showed it to everyone there. "I
should have known then that it was never actually MAILED to the Tendou Dojo.
You did a nice job of acting when you gave me the letter, but you messed up on
that one little detail."
Genma grabbed the envelope to study and confirm Nabiki's finding, and he was
quick to back her up on her discovery. Soun began crying, but whether it was
tears of joy over his daughter's cleverness, or tears of shame over his other
daughter's wickedness, no one was quite sure.
"Now all that's left is to find out why you wanted to do all this," Nabiki said
calmly.
"And to find out what the Big Secret actually is!" Genma said, with eagerness
in his voice and in his eyes. Soun shut off the waterworks long enough to nod
in total agreement with Genma.
"Honestly, I didn't write the letter. All I did was give it to you," Kasumi
said, just as calmly as Nabiki.
"Is that so?" Nabiki said with the feigned look of innocence. "All right then,
just how did you get the letter to give to me?"
"Akane asked me to give it to you."
"A-Hah! Akane, eh?" Nabiki exclaimed, snapping her fingers with joy, then
suddenly she stopped cold in her tracks. It fit. The one person Nabiki never
talked to about the note! And the uncanceled stamp would still be true as well.
"But that means..."
"...in the next couple of minutes..." mumbled Genma.
"...my darling baby daughter..." muttered Soun.
"...will reveal a terrible and embarrassing secret about Ranma!" marveled
Nabiki.
"Oh, goody!" said Kasumi.
"Whaa-aat?" said the other three.
"I mean... Oh, dear!"
And following that, the four of them settled back quietly in the bushes to wait
out the last few remaining minutes before the expected appearance of Akane
Tendou, to learn of the horrifying secret of Ranma Saotome.
* * *
There was only one light on at the Tendou home, and that was in the bedroom of
Akane Tendou. Also in the bedroom of Akane Tendou was Akane Tendou herself.
Ranma Saotome was there as well. At the moment, they were both sitting on her
bed. The two of them were blushing from head to toe and looking at the ground,
saying nothing at all. They had been like that since 8:04 p.m. It was now 8:25
p.m. Their hearts were still pounding, but they finally got the nerve to look
at each other again together.
"...That was..." Akane started to say, then hesitated. Ranma looked into her
eyes and mentally begged her to finish her sentence. "...n-n-nice..." was her
final word, and then she looked into Ranma's soul for his response.
Ranma faced her and said, "It was..." and then he couldn't look at her right at
that moment, "...very, umm... very nice, yes." Then he looked back to her, and
was rewarded with the best smile he had ever seen before in his life. And she
got to see a look of happiness on Ranma's face she'd never seen before.
"I never thought we could ever get the family to leave us alone long enough to
try this," Akane said, finally relaxing enough to speak an entire sentence.
"That was so smart," Ranma admitted to the girl. "You kept Nabiki away, and she
made sure everyone else who might have wanted to watch us was also pulled away!
Now I understand why you wouldn't tell me what you did to set this all up. I
don't know if I could EVER have done anything like that."
"We never get any privacy, the way our fathers and my sisters like to snoop on
us," Akane observed, "so I just had to give them something they couldn't
resist. Otherwise, if we'd tried anything like this before, we'd catch them
peeking in on us for sure."
"If we were lucky, we'd catch them, that is," smiled Ranma. "But now, it gets
to be my terrible, embarrassing secret. Oh, and yours, too." Then he looked at
Akane once more with her warm and happy smile. "Hey, Akane..." he grinned, with
a wicked gleam in his eye.
"What?" Akane asked.
"...Do you think you want to do it again?"
Akane's eyes grew wide. "Ah... are you sure you want to? We don't have much
time before they'll all come home."
"Now that I know what it's like..." he hesitated again, then looked at her,
"...it's worth the chance." And he raised the first two fingers of his right
hand to Akane's cheek and softly stroked her skin.
A tear of joy began to form in each of her eyes. "...yes, it is."
And for the second time that night, Ranma and Akane leaned forward into each
other, and gave each other a tender kiss. Maybe just a little bit slower than
the last time.
And for the second time that night, at least in the bedroom of Akane Tendou,
the Earth shattered.
---------------------------
Author's Notes:
1) This is my second Ranma fanfic to be posted. What makes this unusual is the
length of time between my first ("Nabiki: Dear Diary") and this one, something
like three or four years. It's not that it takes me THAT long to write, it's
just that I have too little time to devote to these things, as much as I'd love
to do more. That, plus the fact that I HAVE been working on a novel-length
Ranma fic. I want to complete the entire story before posting it, although I
haven't decided whether to post it all at once or in chapters. I can promise
that this one's nothing like ANY Ranma story ever posted here before... I
mentioned in the "Dear Diary" Author's Notes that I like to skirt the edge of
lemon (I may have even been the first to coin the term 'lemonade' for my
watered-down lemon tales), and this fic takes it to the limit. I'm not sure
when it'll be ready for posting, but it's called "A Lesson From the Master"
(original title was "Anything Goes!" for those I've spoken to before). In my
opinion, it's NOT a lemon, but I may have to fight the moderators
tooth-and-nail over the term.
2) "The Earth-Shattering Secret" owes its genesis to a short story by Kiwi
Noriega (Which one? I Won't Say ;-) which dealt with the time-honored theme of
Ranma and Akane never getting any privacy for their possible relationship to
grow on its own. I'd thought about it before, but while reading Kiwi's story,
that frustration just got to me, and the whole scenario of the Plan just
unfolded in my mind's eye. What I don't like is that, having only posted two
Ranma stories to date in RAAC, I make Nabiki look bad in both of them. I owe
her something special in a future fic, I guess. She gets both bad and good in
"Lesson..." though.
3) In addition to my prose stories, I've also written or edited a number of
manga-fanfics of Ranma and Maison Ikkoku; full comic-book stories, some of
which have been published in Japanese doujinshi. I'm getting these scanned for
folks who like more pictures with their words. Also, I've collected fan
drawings of scenes from my prose stories. All of these are available upon
request for details. See the e-mail address in Note #6. And if anyone can come
up with one really good visual from THIS story for a drawing, you're doing
better than me!
4) This story is for Danielle, my online best friend. If only I were a bit
younger... and a whole lot closer!
5) Insert Disclaimer hereabouts.
6) Please pass along any comments to me at NewNajar@aol.com (Neil Robertson).
No web page at present, but if anyone wants to archive this or any of my other
stories on their pages, just ask me first so I can tell my friends where to
find them.
(
geocities.com/timessquare/realm) (
geocities.com/timessquare)