Weekend Rumble
August 21, in Thunder Bay, Ontario
R. J. Harris vs. Josh Simcox
(Simcox comes out swinging, but Harris overpowers him. Harris has his way most of the match although Simcox did get a few good punches in here and there. Harris puts him away with a side suplex for the win.)
Your winner in 7:08, RJ Harris
(Dale Lewis makes his way out from the back, flanked on his right by the humongous amazon Matilda the Hun, and on his left by the beefy twit, Wolf Macabre. The fans errupt into a chorus of boos, which seems to bring a smile 10 miles wide to Lewis' face. He lets his entourage into the ring first, and in turn, they hold the ropes for him. He grabs a mic from ringside and begins to speak.)
DALE: Thank you...and I mean that sincerely...for the WONDERFUL response you've just given me. I truly, truly appreciate it!
(The crowd's disapproval grows louder at this mocking statement.)
DALE: Now don't go showing all your love at once, because as we all know, we're just a mere two days away from what we've all been looking forward to. That's right fans, in two days, yours truly will not only be the favorite of all the fans, the greatest technical wrestler in the NeWA, and the most charismatic personality to hit the airwaves since Punky Brewster, but indeed, I'll be controlling your very television sets, and thus, your very minds as well. For you see, he who wields the power controls the masses, and after this Monday's butt-whipping of our half-witted President, I'll be wielding ALL the power. That means no more stroke for anyone around here. The slate has been wiped clean. You want stroke? Go to Heartbreak Meyer's house...he'll stroke you in more ways than one...but if you want to be something in this company, you've got to go through me!
(Matilda grabs the mic away from Dale unexpectedly and has a firy look in her eyes.)
MATILDA: Shut up! All of you! Shut up! Show zis man some respect! I vill not tolerate your displeasure!
(Dale grabs the mic back.)
DALE: Now, now, my German princess...settle down. Does it truly matter what this scum thinks of us? Does it? They'd give their last penny to be in the position I am. You know everywhere I go I here these idiots clamouring to get a word with me. "Who are you going to fight next, Dale?" That's what they all want to know. "What's going to happen after you run the company? Are you going to face Element? Are you after the title?" Well, friends, my answer is no. For you see, I've already got the most coveted title in the IWA, so why would I want such a second rate piece of junk metal? No, I believe the first order of business as President of this company is to teach a few kiddies a lesson, namely Shawn and R.J. Harris.
(Wolf and Matilda look up in disbelief.)
DALE: That's right. Because I'm such a fighting champion by nature, I feel it's my duty to shut these two blithering, self-righteous idiots a lesson. So once I'm done disposing of our unfortunate President, I'm challenging the two of them...the Delta Force themselves...to a triangle match for the IWA International Title. You think they'll be so friendly for that one? You think they'll have smiles on their faces. We shall see. And as for smiling faces, you know what? I'm in a good mood. How 'bout after that me and that newcomer...that hard-pressed-for-fresh-air-not-to-mention-a-girlfriend newcomer "HBM"...go at it for this very belt which I'll STILL be wearing around my waist? C'mon womb-bearer...I dare ya! And that, good people of Canada, is all. Cheerio!
(Dale, Wolf, and Matilda exit toward the back, jawing all the way with the fans to the dressing room area.)
Heartbreak Meyers vs. Dirty Dogg
(Meyers and DD go hard for a good four minutes before HBM hits a reverse neckbreaker . . )
Eddie: Good move! Rick, Meyers has some potential.
(HBM picks up Dirty Dogg by the hair, but the crowd is standing and looking
at the entry way. It's Byron Tanis and he's walking toward ringside with a
steel chair!)
Rick: What the . . ?
(Tanis gets a lot of cheers from the wild Thunder Bay crowd as he slides
into the ring and clobbers HBM with the chair from behind! DD collapses as
Meyers loses his grip on him. Tanis drops the chair on Dirty Dogg's face,
then executes a legdrop. "The Nighthawk" retrieves the chair as the ref
calls for the bell.)
Rick: Tanis is despicable.
Eddie: But the IWA loves him, Rick! Listen to this place!
(Tanis takes the chair and whacks Meyers again. He then unfolds the chair and sets it up over HBM. The bottom crossbar comes to rest across HBM's throat as Byron takes a mic from the inside pocket of his leather jacket.)
Tanis: Poor HBM! What do you have to say now?
(Tanis puts the mic down by Meyers' mouth, but he can't form any words with the chair squarely on his windpipe.)
Tanis: Nothing, huh? Well, then you can just listen for once! This isn't a challenge, Shawn Micha . . I mean, HBM, this isn't even about you! I had an interview segment coming up after your match and I couldn't stand to watch another painful second of this sorry excuse for a match!
(The crowd pops.)
Tanis: Mike . . Bell. You know, champ, you've NEVER beaten me. And this Monday, nothing changes! I've accomplished a lot in my career and the IWA has seen those accomplishments, but the World Title is the one thing that's missing. And I can't think of a better place to win it than right here . . in the IWA!
(Another crowd pop.)
Tanis: And, yes, I'm putting my United States title on the line! Bell, you ask why I'd do such a thing, well, it's simple! You can't beat me . . not in WCCW, and CERTAINLY not in my backyard, my home promotion! This is the IWA, not the PNW, Mikey. Remember that when I'm hoisting the World Title over your broken body!
(Tanis pauses, hitting the mic on the now unconscious HBM's foreheard, making a couple humorous thud noises.)
Tanis: Another empty head. Heh. And as for tonight, in the main event, Rob and I have the soda and the sword! Well, as far as I'm concerned, they're just a tune up match for Rob and I, the newest, hottest tag team in the NeWA! The Overlords, come on Vincent. Jeez. Surge, Claymore, be on the look out!
(Another long pause, the crowd murmuring in anticipation.)
Tanis and Crowd: Because the . . hawk . . IS . . WATCHING!!!
(Byron stuffs the mic in HBM's mouth as he gets up and walks out of the ring. Medics immediately slide into the ring and check on Meyers, who is stirring on the mat.)
Rick: Tanis is ready for the biggest match of his life, Eddie.
Eddie: Rick, you and I have seen this man come up through the ranks and now he's one match away from the top of the mountain. It's really a pretty special thing.
Hardcore Match
Rukus vs Magna
(Magna comes out with a bag of goodies, but so does Rukus. Magna gets a good chair shot in, but Rukus recovers. He beats on Magna with anything he can get his hands on including chairs, hammers, cookie sheets, and the ring steps. Magna is cut open and bleeds really bad, in the end he passes out from blood loss. Rukus covers for the win. Magna is carried out on stretcher and is later pronounced in critical condition at the Toronto Hospital.)
Your winner in a time of 10:43, Rukus.
Non-Title Match
Lord Kevin Kingsley vs. Shawn Harris
(Harris is comes out first and is on top for the best part of the match. LKK, turns things around at the 9 minute mark by reversing a piledriver into a backflip. LKK nails a huge powerbomb for the victory. The win evens the feud at one a piece.)
Your winner at 11:01, Lord Kevin Kingsley
Rick: Welcome back to Weekend Rumble ladies and gentlemen, We've still got some great match ups on the way tonight...
(Suddenly the light dim and the ramp is filled with smoke)
Rick: Well here he comes folks. Truly one of the most evil men to ever set foot in the IWA.
Eddie: I thought I was going to get control of the lights this week.
(The Dead Souls music plays as Venom appears in the doorway. The Phantom stands at his side. They slowly make there way to the ring and the Phantom goes towards Rick and Eddie)Eddie: Hey what's going on here?
Rick: Well the Phantom is coming over here.Eddie: Go away, Shoo!
(The Phantom walks behind the two and stops, looking over their shoulders. Venom reaches the stairs and heads into the ring)
Rick: Now just watch what you say.
(Venom stops in the middle of the ring and the lights come on. He pulls a microphone out of his robes)
Venom: Tanis.... You were correct about one thing... You that are the one that I want... You are the one who will face the ultimatepunishment...
(He looks towards the Phantom who nods back at him)
Venom: You speak of those whom you have buried... You want to see a funeral?... I shall give it to you... This week on Rush... All of the IWA will experience a funeral... One that you will never forget...
(Venom smiles as he raises his hood over his face)
Venom: IWA... Watch you backs...Because this week on Rush....thanks to Tanis.... Somebody's soul... Will become mine....
(The lights drop and come back on, Venom and The Phantom are gone.)
Tanis and Rob Bastard vs The Overlords
Rick: Up next is our main event. We have two of the Nighthawks versus the Overlords.
Eddie: I don't think we have to wait cause here comes Tanis and Rob Bastard now. Monty Clark is with them! I want to see him wrestle!
(The Nighthawks theme comes on and the three men walk to the ring. Then the Overlords come out. Surge starts things off with Tanis. Tanis takes control and he really dominates Surge. Surge is able to make the tag, Claymore comes in and takes it to Tanis with a powerslam. He then executes an atomic drop, Tanis is able to make the tag and Rob Bastard comes in. He and Claymore circle around each other until RB locks up with him. RB takes control with a side headlock.)
Rick: This has been a great match so far! Oh no! Look who is coming through the crowd!
Eddie: It is Boog isn't it!
(Boog comes out through the crowd with a chair. He makes his way to the ring. tanis sees him and goes after him, Boog takes a swing and knocks Tanis flat on his back. Boog laughs and runs away. Tanis lays out on the outside while RB controls Claymore on the inside. Monty Clark comes over to help Tanis.)
Rick: I knew he was up to no good!
(RB hits him with a running powerslam followed by a few stomps before he picks Claymore up. He then goes for a vertical suplex and connects and he goes for the cover. Surge is on the top rope and he comes down hard on the back of RB's head. Claymore is able to get up and make the tag to Surge as he gets out. Surge comes in and he picks up RB for a german suplex. He then powerslams him near teh side of the ring and he goes for a camel clutch. Surge is facing the outside where Tanis lays. The ref is down asking RB if he wants to submit, he yells no. Just as then Tanis gets up and throws salt in the eyes of Surge. Surge goes down and RB crawls over to make the tag. Tanis gets in and power slams Surge, then Claymore comes in and Tanis throws him over the top rope.)
Rick: We are getting word that a fight has just broke out in the back....ok...it is...Element and Boog!
Eddie: Element must have saw what Boog did to Tanis! He is getting a little revenge!
(Tanis puts Surge in the hawks Talon and Surge submits. Tanis and RB throw Surge out, over the top rope onto his partner. Then the lights go out and the when they come back on the Pincers are in the ring. They attack Tanis and Bastard.)
Eddie: The Pincers are here!
Rick: Look down at the top of the ramp! Here is Boog and Element slugging it out! It is all out chaos!
(Element and Boog are exchanging lefts and rights, the camera switches to show the Pincers beating on the two Nighthawks in the ring.)
Rick: I wish we could stay to cover this, be sure to tune into Rush!
(The camera fades out to black as the IWA logo appears and the copyright laws roll.)