Cthulhu Pop Group...

Bast and the Children of the Sphinx

Welcome, to this unholy pop band page.
This is basically my article which has been printed in the Chaosium digest, and has been edited by Shannon appel.
So thanks to Shannon, and also to the contributors who will be named at relevant stages.
This is printed as it was in the digest. It's not my fault honest...

Bast and the Children of the Sphinx
Or: Just another insane pop group

Important Note: This is not a *serious* article.

Helpful pre-reading: The main rule book, of course, and Masks of
Nyarlothotep.

Thanks to: Rob, Ross, and other members of the Minotaur's Head Gaming
Club who helped contribute to the ideas presented here.

=====================================================

For those of you who have read the pre-reading list, you already know
who Bast and the Children of the Sphinx are.

For those of you who haven't, Bast is an Egyptian deity of cats, who
is featured in Call of Cthulhu for somewhat doubtful reasons... The
Chidren of the Sphinx are bizarre monsters from the Masks of
Nyarlothotep campaign who are actually mummified bodies whose heads
have been replaced with those of animals.

As you have noticed, the links between the deity and the monsters, is
that they are humanoid with animal heads. This was pretty much the
inspiration for this mind-destroying idea. I blame Rob for helping me
to start it...

So we came up with a new pop group called "Bast and the Children of
the Monolith." It could also be re-named "The Children of the
Sphinx, featuring Bast", for Keepers who have been paying attention
to current pop trends...

We [me, Rob, and Ross], decided that this would be a pop group, mainly
because we do not like pop, and because, quite frankly, who would
notice hundreds of teeny-boppers going mad?

The Children of the Sphinx would be the backup singers. Since there is
an indeterminate number of these monsters, we are settling with
four. One has the head of an alligator, one has the head of a hippo,
one has the head of a lion [I have no idea why], and the last has the
head of a jackal. The Children might also do dance moves, although the
alligator and the hippo might have a problem with head balance.

Being animal-headed, singing is probably not one of their best
talents. But being a pop group, this probably goes without saying.
Bast would naturally be the lead singer. What else would an Elder God
accept?

[At this point I interject a side comment. At one point we felt that
Bast and The Chidren of the Sphinx would be a line-dance group. This
is perfectly viable. Can you imagine this Mythos group doing a
collaboration with Steps?]

The group would probably start off with a cover or two, in order to
arouse general suspi- er, interest. Possibilities include Stardust's
"The Madness Feels Better with You", the Backstreet Boys' "What You
Are [?!?]", and Run DMC etc "Its Like That [And That's Who I Eat]."

When they became popular through a now entranced fan base, they would
probably start injecting Cthulhu-type hymns into their songs. The
first couple of songs would probably be normal insanity-causing
affairs, aided by the group appearing live, which will inevitably
cause a few asylum admissions..., but following their success, the
group will lose their lofty [?!?] ideals about the enslavement and
eating of humanity... After that they will just pretend to be occult,
while actually serving it up on a pop platter... Being naturally
sadistic entities, they will probably make songs more banal and
pointless than even the Backstreet Boys, or even [gasp!] the Spice
Girls.

When the group eventually disbands in the natural course of events
[say, Mr Hippo-head ODs, or Bast argues with Mr Lion-head about
Demarcation], Bast will probably go solo, although doing occasional
duets or featuring in other groups, etc. Witness Celine Dion and
Bast: "Its You [I Want to Maim]."

The Chidren of the Sphinx will inevitably sell out stories to the
newspapers, and will probably be killed in supposed suicides... such as
suicide by not running before the Fire Vampire hits.

Assuming they don't take this route, they will probably filter into
TV, the way many failed pop stars do [naming no names...]. A probable
favourite is Mr Jackal-Head and the others joining the Blue Peter
team. A little more insanity won't hurt... ["And here's a Sacrificial
Knife I made earlier... remember, have an adult present at all
times..."].

Of course, after this, the group will completely fade away from
public memory, only remembered by a few loyal fans. Truly, a
cult-following.

This article is plainly satirical, but you can adapt it to "normal"
cthulhu adventures by making the singers human, but have them
continue to sing Cthulhu-oid hymns...


Well, that's the [bizaare] article... If you have ANY suggestions, be they serious or silly, then EMAIL me with them!

All contributors will be named, unless you specifically tell me not to.
And if I ever develop animated gif, maybe we'll start getting the better contributions with titles and names in neon...

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