Pizza Cats X
Episode 3: Earth Quaker, Salt Shaker

Plot:
   A psychotic mage known as Magikrow, another person from the Umbra, shows up at Melanie's door, offering the key to her plot to destroy Little Tokyo. The device, however, needs massive amounts of energy, which Melanie achieves by planting small kinetic energy generators in salt shakers all over Little Tokyo. Using the energy, gathered from vigorous shaking of the salt shakers, Melanie plans to power the Earth Quaker robot. However, a pair of travelers, calling themselves Ripner and Omen, show up at the Emporium, promising assistance in the destruction of the Earth Quaker. Will the strangers be of actual help to the Pizza Cats? Will the sanity-lacking salt shaker scheme finally remove Little Tokyo from the planet? Am I, the Narrator, aroused by Polly Ester's meowing in "Case of the Bogus Billionaire?" (The writer is, but he's turned on by both Polly and Francine, so...) Find out in Earth Quaker, Salt Shaker on the next Pizza Cats X.



Scene 1
Characters: Polly, Francine
Setting: Backroom of the Emporium




Stranger #1: Where's Fishman?

Fran: He's in my room making something.

Stranger #2: We're friends of his, could ya get him up front?

Fran: And I should say who is here?

->-D for those of you who skipped the other episodes.) mark on a gold coin.>

#1: Ripner.

#2: Omen.

Fran: Wow... you two look almost as good as Fish.. I'll go get him.



Fran: AJ! Ripner and Omen are here...

ACiD: Ripner?!? I thought he was back in the Umbra doing research on his armour...

Fran: He's here now...

ACiD: RAD! Thanks, Francine.





ACiD: What's up, Rip?

Ripner: FISHMAN! Nothin much that we like...

Omen: Aj, what's your girlfriends name?

ACiD: Francine.. why do you need to know her name?

Omen: Francine, do me a favor. Would ya close the Emporium... this can't be heard by others....

Fran: Just a minute.



Omen: Thank you, Fran.

Francine: Not a problem.



Ripner: Where's the famous Speedy Cerviche?

ACiD: He's in back.. what's up, guys?

Ripner: Well, you see...



Melanie: ACK! Not even a few schemes into this mess and I've got Robot-designer's block... got any ideas, Arthur?

Arthur: How about we make a robot capable of hypnotizing the citizens?

Melanie: My uncle did that, doofus. It screwed up, though....

*knock* *knock*

Melanie: Who is it?

Magi: I'm a friend. Let me in, so I can help you.

Arthur: *whispering to Melanie* I'll open the door.



Magi: Hello, Melanie. My name is...

Melanie: Magikrow. I've heard of you.

Magi: Well, then you know of my destructive power as a Psycho-mage back in the Umbra.

Melanie: Yeah... what do you need?

Magi: It's what *YOU* need that I'm here to supply.

Melanie: Unless you happen to have a robot, I don't know what you have to offer.

Magi: That's *EXACTLY* what I have.

Melanie: *perked up considerably* Really... well.. do tell..

Magi: Well, I have a robot capable of taking this entire "city" out in a matter of hours, but there's one problem.

Melanie: And that problem is?

Magi: It needs more energy than your regular robot.

Melanie: Hmm..... Magikrow, would you have any of those kinetic energy collectors?

Magi: Of course, why?

Melanie: I have an idea.....



Speedy: ...so you're saying that Melanie plans to gather all that energy by planting kinetic generators in salt and pepper shakers around the city?

Guido: And the generators will give the robot the raw energy it needs to destroy all of Little Tokyo in a manner of hours?

Polly: Wow... and you two came *JUST* to chase this Magikrow fella?

Ripner: Yup... that's our job, and we intend to do it well.

Omen: Of course, we'll need your help.

ACiD: No problem with me. How about you guys?

Speedy: We'll do it.

Ripner: Alright, well, we're gonna have to split up if we're gonna find those generators. I'm sure they've gotten them into salt shakers right now.

ACiD: Alright, Fran, you and I will take the area nearest to the Palace. Ripner and Guido, you two take on the Gourmet Cuisine district.
Omen and Polly, take on the Fast Food district. Speedy, call Batcat, and you two go out to the Mall/Grocery district.



Ripner: Well, let's do this...



Omen: Love you.

Ripner: Love you.



ACiD:  Doh! I forgot to tell you... While the Umbrans usually only dispatch one person, Ripner and Omen are the exception, as they're married, and work well together.

Guido: But... wha?

Narrator: Look, Guido. Ripner and Omen are married. Cope with it!

Guido: It's a little shocking, okay?

ACiD: Deal with it.. so what if they're bi? I hang out with them all the time! They're still cool, regardless of the fact that they're married to eachother.

Guido: Sorry.. I'm just, ya know, not used to it, that's all.

ACiD: Oh well, I acted worse in front of em when I found out... it just sorta becomes second-hand knowledge after a while.

Ripner: Sorry to shock you guys.. it was just sorta affectionate.

Narrator: LOOK! You're gonna make the show go into another episode if you don't hurry up!

Omen: ALRIGHT! Shut up there, Narrator!

Narrator: Look, I've got my pencil out, I can erase your head if I want to!

Omen: Bite me, bro... I've got your paycheck...

Narrator: Alright, Alright...

Omen: Better!




Guido: Man, what is it that makes you love Omen?

Ripner: (You can fill this one in, Rippy.)



Extra at table: Why are you smashing our salt and pepper shakers?

Ripner: We're saving the world...

Extra: Huh?

Ripner: You'll hear about it later.



Omen: Man, these dudes are fast... we only heard about them a few minutes ago.

Polly: What can I say... offering them for free is a fast way of distributing them.

Omen: You aren't kidding.



Fran: This is exhillarating... who knew the Palace was such a good place to skate?!?

ACiD: I didn't.. I just thought we'd be able to go faster if we were on wheels.



Vi: Needs salt...



Vi: Well, I guess I'll go for pepper then.



Vi: Wha... GET THOSE TWO BACK IN HERE!



Vi: Why did you smash my salt and pepper shakers?

ACiD: Frankly, we're saving Little Tokyo.



Vi: What do you want? Want to smash my plates too?

ACiD: Well, not really... I just wanted to know if you would give me a hug. You see, it's been a dream of mine to recieve a hug from an angel.

Vi: Bu... okay..



ACiD: Thank you, Vi... may we go?

Vi:  Yes... you have to come back, though...

ACiD: I will try...



Fran:  What did you say to her?

ACiD:  I just used a routine I made up just then.

Fran: Wow... must have been somethin... care to try it on me later?

ACiD: It's a date, love.




Speedy: Man, have you seen Francine and AJ lately, man?

Bat: Not really.. I've been out studying Nuclear Reactors and Quantum Time-physics.

Speedy: Really? Well, they've been going at this romance thing like drug addicts.... they're in love, and we both know it.

Bat: Yup... I think it's cool... I never knew *ANYBODY* would get Francine's heart like AJ did... you tell me that all it took was a white rose?

Speedy: Yup.. he was even ragged as hell and exhausted, and he just gives her this white rose, says something about her being extremely beautiful, and she falls all over him.

Bat: Woah... dude... that's really cool.. maybe AJ should be a romance writer instead of workin for you guys.

Speedy: Interesting idea... let's talk to the man....



Ripner: Well, did you guys find em all?

Speedy: Yup... Even got one as a souvenier... deactivated, of course.

ACiD: We found tons of em in the Palace... I even had to charm Princess Vi to get out of trouble.

Fran: I'm sure it was a great line.

Omen:  Hey, you guys, I think I found the robot!



Omen: Here.. this is where the robot is stashed at.

Fran: Hey... that's the place where they store restaurant supplies!

Omen: Ironic... they store the robot near it's energy gathering devices... let's go handle it.

ACiD: Slow down a bit... if we all rush it, we'll be killed.. here's what we gotta do. Ripner, you and Omen will come from the left side.
Speedy, you and Polly will come from the right side. Guido and the Rescue Team will come in from behind, and I'll go solo on the frontal assault.

Fran: You will *NOT* go alone!

ACiD: I have to Fran.. there aren't any other cats available.

Fran: I can go!

ACiD: Not unless you have some armor and a heavy-duty weapon under the counter.

Fran: Funny you should say that...



ACiD: Got anything more powerful than the pistols?



Fran: The question, AJ, is do *YOU* have anything more powerful?

ACiD:  I have to say, that armor looke *GREAT* on you.

(Notice: If anybody can draw Francine in her armor, and have it in .jpg format, they'll get a guest shot in episode 5, and thier picture posted in the Pizza Cats X section of the page. E-mail me for information.)

Fran: It should. It was made just for me.

ACiD: Well, then Fran and I will attack the front of the warehouse, while you guys attack your appointed stations.





Narrator: And so, the Cats lead a full-fledged attack effort on the robot that threatened Little Tokyo, making it unsafe for small felines and babysitters.



Polly: This is great... we can't even get in, because they locked the door!

Speedy: Sure we can.. watch.



Polly: Well, now that you did that, we can get in!





Guido: You guys got anything that could help us about now?

Catton: I do...



Guido: Alright.... now, next time we raid a warehouse, DON'T KNOCK THE WALLS OVER!

Catton: Too late.. let's go in.





Ripner: How exactly are we gonna get in?

Omen: Look!



Omen: If we wait until the crows go back in, we can follow them.

Ripner: Damn good idea, Omen.. let's do it.





Narrator: Umm, you two.

ACiD:  What, Narrator?

Narrator: You're still on a mission.

Fran:  Oh, yeah, we do.. let's do that, then we'll finish making out later.

ACiD: Alright.. let's finish this!



Fran: SHIT! The guns are out of ammo...




ACiD: Ripner, did ya see anything?

Ripner: I caught a view of the power meter. It read about 50%... that's enough to power it's defenses...

ACiD: Okay.. that's bad... did you see Magikrow anywhere?

Ripner: Nope.. he's hiding someplace.



Polly: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's fry the thing!

E-Quake: Not likely, puny Cats.



E-Quake: You puny cats.. you'll never destroy me.

ACiD: Oh right... this is *OUR* show, dude, not yours!

E-Quake: Oh, so they hired an Umbran, huh? Well, let's go at it...



E-Quake: My eyes are replaceable...



Fran: AJ!!!!



E-Quake: Cmon.. you guys got better than that...



R-Team: FIRE THE WONDER WEAPON!



E-Quake: Good shot, but still not quite enough.



E-Quake: Man, this is dull.



Omen: I think we could finish this.



Ripner: Yeah, he's done for.



Ripner: Hey, Fishman, are ya alright?

ACiD:  Yeah, I feel great!

Ripner: And how about our Rescue Team?

Catton: We're all a little bruised, but nothing too big.

Ripner: Well, then, let's go.. I'm tired of this place.

Speedy: Yup... let's go.



Polly: Are you two sure you want to go back to the Umbra?

Omen: We have to... it's our job.

Ripner: As much as we like breathing this air, it's important we be back at the Umbra for our next mission.

ACiDFiSh: Well, Rippy, it's been nice seein ya.. wish it were on better terms.

Ripner: Yeah.. oh well... should we say Hi to your mom for ya?

ACiD: Yeah.. tell her I might not be back from this mission for a while, too.

Omen: Will do...





ACiD: Could you hug me, Francine?

Fran: Sure, but, why?

ACiD: It's always been a dream of mine to be hugged by an angel.



Polly: AJ's romantic.. it's got me in a good mood.





Narrator: So we leave the Cats, those who are resting, those who are romancing, those who are kissing. We bid them good night.

--Fin--

Note: This was one of the *HARDEST* episodes I had to write. I'd like to give credit to Ripner and Omen. They're the ones who made me write them into this for copies of the Canadian eps of Pizza Cats... expect increased usage of Francine's sexy armour set as PCX grows.... This upcoming episode should be a little wierd.

>->-D ACiDFiSh

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/7724

               ( geocities.com/tokyo)