Episode-02: Volcano

It's morning. We see Sven outside with his mom.

Mother: Now Sven, Please be very careful out there. The woods can be very dangerous.

We see Commander Ivanova and Captain Sheridan pull up with the rest of Sven's friends.

Keith: Ready to go camping Sven? Captain Sheridan says that we got to get up there real early.

Captain Sheridan: That's right Keith, Animals are much easier to shoot in the morning. Oh by the way, this is Commander Ivanova.

Commander Ivanova: Hello. Ready to go Sven?

Mom: I packed some Snacky cakes and Cheesy poofs, Sven.

Sven gets into the car with this rest of the gang.

Mom:Now remember Don't wipe with poison ivy, and use lots of bug spray.

Sven: That's sick, Mom!

Mom: And remember, If you feel scared I'm only a mountain away.

Captain Sheridan: He'll be fine.

Sven: Drive Dammit!

Commander Ivanova: We'll Take good care of him.

Mom: Now Sven, give mommy a kiss.

Sven: Start The Car! Start The Car, Dammit!

As Commander Ivanova and Captain Sheridan drive, The others in the back start tormenting Sven...

Keith: (sarcastically) Don't wipe with poison ivy. Heh, Heh

Pidge: Maybe your mom can give me a kiss!

Lance: Yeah maybe she can let me kiss her upper lip!

Captain Sheridan: Damn Lance! that's disgusting!

Sven: You piece of shit! I'll kill you!

Sven starts kicking the shit out of Lance.

Commander Ivanova: Now, that's the spirit! That'll get the Adrenaline going!

Captain Sheridan: Now Kids, lets get serious, Now remember, When you carry your gun, always keep the safety on, and don't spill your beer in the bullet chamber.

Hunk: We don't drink beer.

Captain Sheridan: You what?

Commander Ivanova: Oh yeah, don't think the Voltron Force has any drinkers in their ranks.

Pidge: I like chocolate milk.

Captain Sheridan: We'll be doing PLENTY of drinking on this trip. Besides, Hunting sober is like... Well, like fishing!

Commander Ivanova: It'll be good to get away from civilization for a while...

We finally arrive at the forest...

Captain Sheridan: ok Kids grab a gun and a beer.

Sven: I don't have a gun.

Captain Sheridan: here's one.

Sven: I haven't had a gun like this since the Fleet of Doom!

Keith: You never engaged the Fleet of Doom!

Sven: Yes, I did!

Keith: You can't believe Sven, she always makes stuff up.

Sven: HEY! I'LL BLOW YOUR F'N HEAD OFF!

Captain Sheridan: That's dangerous! You'll spill your beer!

Commander Ivanova: What squadron were you stationed in?

The crew starts trekking through the forest...

Keith; (to Lance) Captain Sheridan said: "after this, he's gonna take me to Africa!"

Pidge: My friend says that there's a lot of black people in Africa.

Hunk: Wow, that's cool!

Captain Sheridan:(whispering) Hold it, there's a Rocky mountain Black Bear. Only a few left of them after the planetary Holocaust.

Commander Ivanova: IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!

Captain Sheridan shoots the bear...

Keith: Hey it wasn't coming for us, it was just sitting there.

Captain Sheridan: Well you see the Galaxy Alliance, are passing out laws that can't let us hunt anymore.

Pidge: Galaxy Alliance pisses me off!

Commander Ivanova: Yeah, they passed a law that says " we can't fire at an animal unless it poses an immediate threat.

Captain Sheridan: So, we say,"It's coming right for us!"

Lance: Wow Captain Sheridan! You're smart!

Commander Ivanova: Hold it! there's a deer. better get the 72 R.P.G. out.

Captain Sheridan: IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!

Captain Sheridan takes out the deer with a RPG launcher...

Hunk: Kick ass!

Captain Sheridan: Did you see that? I almost got hurt by that vicious buck!

Keith: Is this hunting?

Lance: I guess so.

Captain Sheridan Let's move! MOVE!

The crew starts doing military tactic..

Sven: I think I'm starting to have Flashbacks.

Pidge:Sven?

Sven: Stay low. Look out for doom troops, hiding in the trees!

Commander Ivanova: Rabbit 5 O' Clock!

Captain Sheridan: This one's yours Keith. get em.

Keith set his sights on the rabbit But has problems trying to fire...

Captain Sheridan: It's coming right for us!

Commander Ivanova: It's coming right for us.

Hunk: Shoot it Keith.

Sven: I got your back Soldier.

Keith: I can't.

Captain Sheridan: what do you mean you can't?

Keith: I just can't.

Captain Sheridan: You wimp! I'm not gonna let you be some Hippie tree hugger, Keith!

Sven: Yeah go back to Woodstock you hippie!

Keith: Shut up Sven! I'll shoot ya!

Sven: I'll shoot you!

Keith: I'll kill you!

Hunk: (ends the argument) I'll fill you both full of lead!

We see the mountain rumbling...

Lance: What was that?


Meanwhile at the Earthquake station...

We see King Zarkon at the seismograph dozing off. Then all of the sudden the needles go crazy!

King Zarkon: What the...

The needle goes crazy. then King Zarkon gets on the phone

King Zarkon: Haggar? It's King Zarkon. Yes the needles are going crazy. UH-huh, yep.... OH SHIT,A VOLCANO!

King Zarkon Smokes his pipe...

Later at the woods, we see Commander Ivanova and Captain Sheridan with the rest of the crew.

Hunk: These weenies won't cook.

Captain Sheridan: Looks like we'll need to use the old Indian fire trick Commander Ivanova.

Commander Ivanova: Yuppers!

Commander Ivanova proceeds to use gasoline and ends up lighting herself on fire.

Commander Ivanova: AAAAAHHHHH!

Captain Sheridan: Hey Ivanova! stop, drop and roll! Ha ha ha!

Commander Ivanova knocks over the gas and blow up Captain Sheridan's truck...

Voltron Force : Whoa!

Captain Sheridan: Dammit Susan, I just got that truck!

Commander Ivanova: It Burns it burns!

Sven: Hey guys! these weenies are about ready!

We are at Alluras office, King Alfor is arguing with the Allura over the Food shortage...

King Alfor: But Allura my daughter, you just can't stop serving Salisbury steak in our school cafeteria. What's next, Meat loaf?

Allura: I see your concern but at least Hunk won't be eating it...

The intercom interrupts the two

Man: Uh Allura, the Geologist is here to see you.

Allura: That's ok, I don't need a check-up.

Man: That's a gynaecologist, A geologist studies earthquakes.

Allura: How dare you insult me, I went to Oxford! Just send in the Geometries!

Man: That's Geologist.

Allura: You are fired!

Man: Thank you, it's been great working for you.

Allura: Get out of my office!

Man: I'm not in your office, I'm on an inter com..

King Zarkon busts into the room...

King Zarkon: Allura, we've got a big problem, A volcano is about to erupt!

Allura: What does this mean to Voltron Park?

King Zarkon: Well, this graph shows everything from ok to bad, Voltron Park is here.

We see the graph and it shows that Voltron Park is totally screwed.

King Alfor: Allura, your friends are camping on top of that mountain right now!

Allura: This is big! Are you getting this?

Man2: You just fired the last guy, I'm his replacement.

Allura: Get all of the news stations, MBS, SCTV, ISN, and any other scandal channel, oh and my hair stylist!


We are back at the campsite. We see Captain Sheridan and Commander Ivanova telling stories...

Captain Sheridan: and When Commander Ivanova's Starfury got hit by one of the Starfuries Clark sent to take us out... BOOM! the Starfuries wing got blown clean off! We went looking for that wing for 3 hours straight We never found that wing. To this day, they still say that the wing is still out there flying!

Commander Ivanova gets an hunk of metal and scares Pidge with it....

Commander Ivanova: GRrahr!

Everybody laughs...

Lance: Pidge got so scared, he almost peed his pants!

Pidge: Shut up! I didn't pee my pans!

Captain Sheridan: Susan, Pass me another gin will ya?

Captain Sheridan: want some Gin Guys?

Keith: Nah, Captain Sheridan that stuff tastes like pee.

Lance: Yeah, Pidge's pee.

Pidge: You would taste my pee!

Captain Sheridan: What's the matter? Nanny never let you have any alcohol?

We see Sven start drinking gasoline right out of the can...

Captain Sheridan: Holy Shit! look at that Little bitch go!

Sven finishes with a hiccup...

Captain Sheridan: Now see Keith, that's a little Asshole.

Keith: Hey, I wanna be a little asshole too!

Pidge: Hey guys, I got a scary story, Have you ever heard of..... The return of Lotor?

Hunk: Pidge, You can't tell scary stories.

Pidge: Really, Hunk? We'll let me tell you this!

Pidge gets the flash light and start's talking...

Pidge: Well you see, Lotor isn't really dead, but we think so. But he somehow survived being ate by Black Lion by Keithy here. He is so deformed that he had to get parts from other sources.

Keith: like what?

Pidge: for a left leg, he has.... a Piece of corn and on his right arm, he has.....

Keith: a buzzsaw?

Lance: a plasma cannon?

Hunk: a hook?

Pidge: NO! He has...... a Vandy Camp bean. Because of his hatred for this planet and the people on it, he turns his victims into Wicker baskets. Some say that he is up in those mountains weaving a victim now. If it gets quiet enough, you can hear him weaving away,......weave,....weave....

an eerie silence hits the camp then Hunk comes up with a smart ass remark....

Hunk: Do you hear it? It might be Lotor coming to get us! HA Ha ha ha.

Sven: Yea, he might turn us into wicker baskets!

Keith: Pidge, you suck at telling stories! Gimmie the flashlight!

Keith takes the flashlight away from Pidge by force while Sven continues drinking Gasoline...

Captain Sheridan: Hey Ivanova, whip out the six-string and let's get a song going.

Commander Ivanova gets the guitar and the 2 start singing "Power ranger sucks". You can see Captain Sheridan crying while Commander Ivanova sings and plays (Commander Ivanova's a pretty good singer surprisingly)

Meanwhile......Pidge plans to scare the hell out of the others....

Pidge: (to himself) So they think Lotor didn't survive huh? Well I'll show them a thing or two!


It's morning. there are a bunch of news crews at Voltron Park telling what's going on....

Reporter: Voltron Park. Once a quiet town, is now in complete Chaos..

We see the people running around excited by the fact that they are on tv...

Reporter: What do you think about this?

Allura: a lot.

Reporter: Along with A reported Volcano there are also 1 man and one woman from Earth Force and 5 men from the Voltron Force camping around that area.

Allura: All we know is that we hope those men and....... Wait wait

Reporter: Excuse me?

Allura: This is TV right? You can edit that. On 3 Ready? one,two, three,

All we know is that those men are on that mountain and we must find them!

Meanwhile Back at the camp...We see Keith just waking up and Lance enters the tent...

Lance: Hey Keithie.

Keith: Where's Commander Ivanova and Captain Sheridan?

Lance: They went fishing with Sven.

Keith: What? I was supposed to go fishing with them! Why didn't they wake me up?

Lance: You want to know what I think Keith?

Keith: What?

Lance lets out a nasty fart (Get the Gas mask folks!)

Zoom to Commander Ivanova, Captain Sheridan and Sven fishing with grenades...

Captain Sheridan: What a day for fishing! look, there's one get em Susan!

Commander Ivanova drops a grenade in the water and BOOM!

Sven drops one also and gets a whole bunch of fish....BOOM!

Commander Ivanova: Nice one Sven!

Keith and Lance Call The others...

Keith: Captain Sheridan! We can't find Pidge!

Captain Sheridan: You mean the Stoplight? OK, well have to cut this short, Launch the Shadow Anti-Planetary Missile we stole from the Death Cloud Commander Ivanova.

Commander Ivanova Launches the missile and the whole lake goes up and has a whole bunch of dead fish.....

KABOOM!

Commander Ivanova: Man, it smells like dead fish!

Sven: More like Rank Bearded clam!

Commander Ivanova: Damn, that's nasty!

Captain Sheridan: Sven, You are such a disgusting Child! I'm gonna make you my official nephew!

Zoom to Keith. we see him look real sad.

Lance: No need to Worry. At least you got me and Hunk.

Keith: Oh yeah, thanks Lance. That REALLY makes me happy.


While looking for Pidge, The crew do some hunting in the process...

Captain Sheridan: It coming right for us!

Captain Sheridan starts firing, Then Sven pulls out his gun and fills the Ram full of lead (about 32 shots.)

Captain Sheridan: Nice shootin, Sven! here, you need a bigger gun.

Captain Sheridan takes Keith's gun hands it to Sven.

Commander Ivanova notices Pidge in a bogus costume but doesn't notice that Pidge is Masquerading...

Pidge: I am Lotor, son of Zarkon, Behold my Leg.

Captain Sheridan: Damn, Thats the biggest lump of crap I've ever seen, If we bag that, We could be on the cover of modern sportsman!

Commander Ivanova: Hunk, fetch me my 400Mw Pulse Cannon.

Hunk retrieves The Pulse Cannon and hands it to Commander Ivanova...

Captain Sheridan: Fire in the hole!

WHOOSH!!!!!

Pidge: HOLY CRAP!

A whole predatory prey deal is going on, as the crew hunts Pidge down....

Pidge: What the hell is wrong with you people!?

Guns are still blazing through out the whole ordeal.

We hear the volcano rumble again....

Captain Sheridan: Ivanova, What the hell did you eat?

Commander Ivanova: I don't know.

Meanwhile outside of town...

Reporter: While there is a volcano ready to erupt, The people of Voltron Park, Form a rescue party, to find the group that is camping on that mountain...

Allura: OK folks, there are kids on that mountain, we must search in groups to find them, and furthest more...

King Zarkon runs up to the Allura and gives her some more news...

King Zarkon: Allura, I got a plan.

Allura: what is it?

King Zarkon: well if we can dig a trench, we can divert the lava flow away from the town.

Allura: Great! People, there's been a change of plans, I'll go get Blue Lion and dig a trench....

Meanwhile, back at the woods...

Captain Sheridan: OK, we got That Drule running back to his lair in the mountains, we gotta get him before he makes it up there where he has an advantage over us.

Keith: I'll take the lead. (you can see a serious look on his face)

Lance: are you sure?

Keith: Oh hell yeah. (insert Stone Colds line here)

As the crew heads up the mountain, We see Pidge running for his life....

Pidge: Yu guys, It's really me!

Keith: Now, Hunk, Take the rear, Sven, take right flank, And Lance,.. BIRD!

Keith aims his gun at the bird and gets it with one shot. The bird falls to the ground dead.

Sven: Nice shot, Keith. Looks like you're not a hippie after all.

Keith: Anyway, Lance Take The left Flank.

Lance: Aye-Aye Captain, Har-Har......

They finally corner Pidge, Keith gets ready to fire....

Sven:Shoot it. Shoot it dead. The Drule must die.

Pidge: GOD DAMMIT! IT'S JUST ME!

Pidge takes the bogus costume off and shows himself.

Keith: Dammit, Pidge! Why did you pull that little stunt? I almost killed you!

Lance: Good thing you didn't. Instant court-martial.

Captain Sheridan: Smart move, Keith. there is a time to fire, and a time not to fire. You just did the right thing.

Keith: Thanks Lance, and Shut up Sheridan. All of a sudden, I did a good thing. What the hell is that shit all about?

Captain Sheridan: I'll explain Later, Right now we-,

The volcano erupts!

Commander Ivanova: Run!

A ball of fire lands next to Sven, And lights his arm on fire...

Pidge: Sven, Stop Drop and Roll!

Sven performs what Pidge Said, but the fireball lands on him.

Lance: Oh My God, It killed Sven!


Meanwhile, Back at the town...

Mr. Garibaldi: OK Folks, It is to my knowledge, that there will be some lava, so I got this instructional film to show us what to do in case we DO run into some lava.

Mr. Garibaldi Plays the Film on "What to do When you are near an erupting Volcano"

After the film ends King Alfor says a witty reply.

King Alfor: That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen! Did you get that from The Drule, you stupid Marsie?

Mr. Garibaldi: That's Enough out of you, ya Arussian Idiot!


Back at the mountain...The crew are running for their lives.

Captain Sheridan: what the hell is this?

Commander Ivanova: They cut us off completely!

We see a trench that is too wide and too deep to cross...

Then.....

Lotor: Hello.

Captain Sheridan: Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Its the real Lotor!

Pidge: WHAT? Lotor is back?

Keith: What are we gonna do?

Keith runs into the forest....

Captain Sheridan: Dammit! Keith ran off!

Lotor starts making a basket out of a tree in his Mecha.

Hunk: What is he doing?

Lotor: Tadaa!

In his Mecha, Lotor proceeds to get the crew to safety.

Exedore: The group is saved!

King Zarkon: Looks like my calculations were right. The lava has been diverted into the trench.

Allura: Smart move King Zarkon, but where will the lava go?

Zoom to Galaxy Garrison. The place is suffering Natures wrath.

Reporter: Now that the town is saved, we see the group that went camping have been saved by a lone Drule.

Captain Sheridan Thank ya Lotor. Since when do you save lives?

Lotor: Since I survived that battle With the intestinal track of the Black Lion a long time ago. here ya go Princess

Allura: Why....Thank you Lotor. (She receives some flowers) And thank you for saving Commander Ivanova's life. Maybe you weren't such a bad guy after all.

Lotor: you're welc-- BLAM!!!

We see Keith come out of the woods with Sven's body draped on his shoulder piloting the Black Lion. Shoulder mounted gun is smoking from the shot he just fired.

Keith: Gotcha You cocksucker! Die already! No-one tries to steal my woman and lives!

Captain Sheridan: What the Hell! Keith, what has gotten into you?

Keith: He only did that to deceive us! I never liked him!

Commander Ivanova: Keith, You don't just shoot anything just because you have a bone to pick with em or for any other reason.

Keith: And why not?

Captain Sheridan: Because, That was not a good time to fire. Use your judgement, once in a while.

Keith: Hunting makes no sense to me.

Hunk: You got that right, Let's go home.

Lance: I Heard this's a bulls game going on. I think they are playing against the Knicks.

Allura: Reporter, Do you think we can edit that?

Reporter: sure.

End Episode 02