Episode 4: Pinkeye
Up in space....
A Drule Factory is in business....
Inside the Factory, We see the usual until the other soldier pops up with a mask on scaring the other soldier.
Soldier1: You scared me you Commie Bastard!
Soldier2: Happy Halloween!
Soldier1: Oh, an Alliance holiday! Are you getting into it?
Soldier2: Yes, I am. Have some Snickers.
They chew on some candy until a light goes off.
Soldier1: It's the blue light! Oh crap.
Soldier2: Crap.
On Arus, Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Sven are waiting for the bus.......
Then The factory falls on Sven killing him instantly.
Keith: Oh My God, They Killed Svenny!
Lance: You Bastards!
Keith: Hey, that looks like one of those UFOs!
Hunk: There are no such things as UFOs!
Keith: Bullshit! Tell that to the Anal probe the Vorlons stuck up your ass.
Hunk: God dammit! The Vorlons didn't shove anything up my ass!
Lance: I wonder where it came from?
Keith: I don't know, but we better get home and get our costumes ready!
Lance: Yeah, you're right, Keith. Let's get home.
Later at the morgue....
As the 2 morticians get Sven prepped for burial, the 2 start to talk...
Mortician 1: You know, I think Death is the least funny when it happens to a member of the Voltron Force.
Mortician 2: Yes I know what you mean.
Mortician 2 uses some worchsestier sauce on his hotdog...
Mortician 1: Do you have to put that on everything you eat?
Mortician 2: I can't help it, it just makes everything taste so.......English.
As Mortician 2 Puts the Sauce down, both Morticians leave........unaware that the Worschestsire sauce falls over and pours all of it's contents into the embalming fluid....In turn It awakes Sven and causes him to become a zombie....
Outside of the room....
Mortician 1: So the Necrophiliac says.....
Sven opens the door and bites both Morticians, one on the arm and the other on the head....As Sven leaves....
Mortician 2: That little TURD bit me!
Sven wanders outside aimlessly like a Zombie does, looking for human flesh in the middle of the night.....
The next morning.....
Keith waits patiently for the bus, when Lance comes up wearing a chewbacca costume....
Keith: G' Morning Lance.
Lance: Good morning. YOU LOOK LIKE A PANSY! HE,he,he,he....
Keith: (dressed up as Raggedy Andy) Shut up, Lance! Farla is dressing up as Raggedy Ann, and I'm Dressing up as Raggedy Andy for the costume contest!
Lance: No way, I'm gonna win with this sweet Chewbacca costume! And what the hell are you doing with Farla?
Hunk Walks up in his Costume.....
Hunk: Hey guys....Oh look, it's Keith. What are you supposed to be, Howdy Doody?
Keith: Shut up, Dumb ass, I'm Raggedy Andy!
Hunk: Oh.........how sweet. I'm a Red Army soldier. isn't it cool?
Lance: NO IT"S NOT FREAKIN COOL!
Hunk: You're just jealous because I'm gonna win that 2 tons of candy and you're not!
Sven Walks up....
All 3: Hey Svenny!
Keith: Hey He's all right.
Sven looks like he needs a lot coffee and pixie sticks......
Lance: Where's your costume Sven?
Keith: I guess he couldn't afford a costume.
Hunk: Sven's family is so poor, that they put up their cardboard box for a second mortgage.
They all start laughing......Except Sven, he just stands there....
Hunk: Svenny, I said, "you're family is so poor! Svenny!
Sven still stands there....
Hunk: I'm Talking to you Svenny! ACHTUNG! Poor piece of crap!
The bus finally pulls up....
Transport Driver: C'MON WE"RE RUNNING LATE!
Keith: We're always running late you ugly skank.
Transport Driver: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Keith: I said "I CAN"T WAIT TO GET A FISHING TANK!"
Transport Driver: OH, well neither can I!
At the Doctors office......The 2 Morticians are getting checked for their conditions...
Mortician 1: So Doctor, What is the problem?
Dr. Kevorkian: Well let's see, you have a 50 degree temperature, you have a very low pulse, and your eyes are all sticky and puffy.
Mortician 2: NO! It means....
Dr. Kevorkian: Yes, it means that you both have......Pinkeye.
Mortician 1: But we are so hungry, I feel like eating.......Brains.
Dr. Kevorkian: Yes,yes, but please don't touch your eyes, I'll prescribe some topical cream for it.
At School.........
Lance: No way, Hunk, I'm gonna win that 2 tons of candy with this sweet Chewbacca Costume.
As the 4 come in.......Lance notices that all of the class has Star Wars costumes on.....
Keith notices Farla is wearing a Leia costume....
Keith: Farla?
Farla: Hi Keith.
Keith: I thought we were gonna go as Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy!
Farla: Well, last night, I chose not to, because it would look so stupid, and I thought you would come to that conclusion too.
Keith proceeds to beat his head on the desk.....When Hall and Nash goes by...
Nash: Hey, Keith, you look almost good enough to kiss!
Hall: Yea Chico, You wanna be my girlfriend?
As they both go by, Keith continues to beat his head on the desk....
While he is doing that...Lance is stunned by the Costumes....
Lance: They are all wearing Starwars costumes?
Koran: It seems that Star Wars is a very popular this year, I believe.
Koran is dressed in drag, While Nanny is dressed in a Chewbacca costume....
Nanny: rar.
In disgust, Lance gets out of his costume and kicks is across the floor......
Lance: DAMMIT!
At Lance's house....
Mirya is putting up some Halloween displays for the house, when the 2 morticians walk by....
Mirya: OH, Hello there!
As she continues to put up the displays, the 2 morticians are mauling a jogger....
Back at the school....
The Four of them are eating lunch...
Hunk: Hey, Svenny are you gonna eat your pudding?
As he prods Sven, he tries to imitate Sven's voice...
Hunk: Sure Hunk, you can have my pudding.
King Alfor enters the cafeteria, dressed up as Tom Jones and talks to Keith, Lance, Hunk and Sven....
King Alfor: Hello Voltron Force.
Keith: Hey King Alfor.
King Alfor: Hunk! What the Hell are you doing dressed up like that?
Hunk: Eating Sven's pudding.
King Zarkon enters and talks to King Alfor.
King Zarkon: Good afternoon Alfor, Wonderful Tony Bennet costume you have there.
King Alfor: No, I'm Tom Jones. Why would I be Tony Bennet?
King Zarkon: Why Would anyone want to dress up like tom Jones? Hello Troops, I Love the costumes you are all wearing and, GOD! Hunk, what are you doing?
Hunk: HEY, he said I can have his pudding! (poking Sven,) "That's right, I let Hunk have my pudding because Hunk is so cool!"
King Zarkon: You can't just be walking around looking like that! Take that costume off!
Hunk: No way you War monger! I'm gonna win that contest with this costume!
King Zarkon: That is it you Hippie Protester, I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson, Come with me to my office.
Hunk: EEE! No, I don't wanna go!
In the office....
King Zarkon: Now, I'm gonna show you this film about communism!
As the film goes on, Hunk Imagines himself as Mao Tse Tung, talking to the Army... The Film ends...
King Zarkon: What have you learned?
Hunk: Can I see that again?
King Zarkon: I see you have learned about nothing. How about we give you a new costume?
Hunk: I don't wanna wear any other costume!
King Zarkon: You can't wear that in School! Here, I'll make you a monk Costume.
King Zarkon gets out scissors and a cloth.....
King Zarkon: Add a few alterations, and presto! you are a Monk!
Hunk looks like a Drule Master....
Outside...
Two Joggers run into the morticians and some other Zombies....
Jogger 1: Oh boy, looks like they got some of that pinkeye that is running around!
Chaos and carnage ensues....
At school.... The contest begins
Koran: Ok Voltron Force, This years contest will have a celebrity judge.
Ambassador Kosh of the Vorlon Empire floats on to the stage...
Hunk gets nervous... then the Anal probe comes out of his ass and waves at Kosh then slips back in.
Hunk: What the hell was what?
Pidge: Dude! That thing came out of your ass again!
Hunk: Give it up Pidge! There are no such thing as Vorlons... AND THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME AN ANAL PROBE GOD DAMMIT!
Pidge: That what the hell is that.
Hunk looks at Kosh, who is looking at Hunk
Hunk: Shut up ass monger! Go play with your space rats!
Keith: Man, I feel like a choad.
Hunk: That's because you look like a choad!
Keith: Oh yeah, at least my cousin isn't on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine!
Hunk: What? What did you say?
Lance bursts in with a new costume...
Lance: Check THIS OUT!
Keith: What are you supposed to be?
Lance: I'm the whole solar system, Even the planets revolve the right way!
King Alfor checks up on the four...
King Alfor: Hello, Voltron Force.
Hunk: Hey King Alfor!
King Alfor: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Hunk: Heh, King Alfor is afraid of Monks!
Koran: Ok Voltron Force, the contest is now under way. For 2nd place, the winner is Sven, for his Dean Martin Costume!
Sven just stands there.....
Koran: And for 1st prize, the Winner is.... Farla, for her Princess Leia costume!
Lance: WHAT? She looks like the other people who have no life! UP YOURS BARNEY RIP-OFF!
Kosh's eye piece narrows and the Vorlon telepathically slaps Lance.
Koran: And for the worst costume, the winner is Keith, for his Doll costume, Ok Voltron Force, let's gather together and laugh at Keith's costume....
They all laugh at Keith....
Keith: Thanks for ruining my Halloween, Farla!
Farla: Don't worry, you'll fell better when we go trick or treating!
Keith: Go Fuck Yourself, Hippie!
Outside in the rich Housings......
We see a Bald, Built man getting his keys to unlock his door....
He drops his keys...
Man: Dammit! If I drop my keys one more time....
As he picks up his keys a Zombie pops out of the bushes...
Zombie: Grahwr!
Man: What the hell is the matter with you?
Zombie: Piiiiinnnnnkkk-eeeeeyyyyyyeeee!
Man: Well don't come near me you Jackass! Get off my Lawn!
He Stone Cold Stuns the Zombie and kicks him in the ass to get off the lawn... As he opens the door, the name plate on his door says Austin 3:16 on it.
Austin: Damn People! What their sorry asses would do to get Stunned! Time to see what's on the idiot box.
The News is on and it has a topic on the events happening at Voltron Park....
ISN News Anchor:(At the outskirts of the town) There has been a pinkeye epidemic rampaging at Voltron Park. Symptoms include, a low body temp, loss of pulse, and of course sticky puffy eyes. On location, here is A wild news reporter with a speech impediment.
ISN News Reporter: (In the town) There is chaos happening in this town.
The Video Shows Like a scene of Night of the living dead...
ISN News Reporter: Lots of Violence has happened here. Much Chaos and Carnage in town. Very Insane.
A Couple of Zombies Attempt to attack the ISN News Reporter But he shakes them off by hitting them all with the Mic boom.
Austin turns off the TV...
Austin: This is not some Epidemic. I've seen this kind of Problem before with The Undertaker. I better go see the Doctor about this, Because "Stone Cold Says So!"
Back at the school.....
Koran chaperones the party that is going on... Sven bites A student on the arm....
Lance: Svenny is back to normal.
Koran: Ok, Voltron Force let's bob for stupid apples. You first Sammie.
Sammie porter, a bridge bunnie from the Robotech Academy up North, attempts to bob for apples...
Koran: Thats it, use those cheek muscles like you do with Rico on the bridge....
The kid that got bit by Sven, is now a Zombie...
Kid: BRAINS!
And attacks the Bridge bunnie.....
Koran: Now, Wait your turn there, Earthling!
At the Doctors office, Dr. Kevorkian is giving Goldberg from the SC Academy his yearly Rabies shot, holding him with a animal control leash is Gen. Emerson, when Austin bursts in the room....
Austin: Doctor! I need your help!
Dr. Kevorkian: Do not worry, Topical cream for pinkeye has advanced throughout the years...
Austin: Yeah, but Doctor, this is not a pinkeye incident! I've seen this problem before with Undertaker.
Dr. Kevorkian: What do you mean?
Austin: It's more like "night of the living dead" ! He even might be one!
Austin Stone Cold stuns Goldberg and proceeds to beat him up with a sledge hammer...
Gen. Emerson: Uh,.... Austin?
Austin: WHAT?
Gen. Emerson: Goldberg was here for his yearly Rabies Shot.
Austin: Oh Fukin' well, He had to be put to sleep anyway. Now Doc,....
Just as Austin continues to talk to Dr. Kevorkian, A whole bunch of Zombies Break in....
Dr. Kevorkian: Now people, Don't worry, I have plenty of topical cream for every body...
The ghouls attack Dr. Kevorkian while Austin breaks through the window to escape....
Outside at the bus stop,
Keith is dressed as Butthead, Pidge is dressed as Beavis, and Hunk is still dressed as a Drule Master....
Keith: Thanks, Pidge.
Pidge: No Biggie, Keith. You looked funky in that Raggedy Andy costume.
Keith: I wonder where Lance is? He's gonna be late.
Lance comes up dressed as a hippie (Yes he is a hippie but they don't know that yet.)
Lance: Hey, Dudes!
Pidge: Hi, Lance. Ready to go trick or treating?
Lance: Not yet, We still have to wait for Sven.
Sven finally arrives...
All four: Hey Svenny!
Svenny looks worse than from this morning...
Hunk: WHOO! You stink, Sven!
Lance: You still Don't have a costume, Sven?
Pidge: His family must be really poor.
Hunk: Yea, If drinking scotch was a job, Svenny's dad would be a millionaire!
Laughing goes on for a few minutes...
Sven just stands there....
Hunk: I said "IF DRINKING' SCOTCH WAS A JOB..." SVENNY! YOUR FAMILY'S POOR! SVENNY! I don't like Sven anymore, He just doesn't communicate.
Lance: Ah forget about it.
Pidge: Ready to go?
Lance, Keith, Hunk: Yup.
Pidge: Let's go! but first, let's see if we have everything. Flashlight?
Lance: Check.
Pidge: Pumpkins?
Lance: Check.
Pidge: Pillow cases?
Hunk: Check.
Keith: Stun Gun?
Pidge: What's that for?
Keith: in case of candy snatchers and for people who try to give us Granola, Pidge.
Pidge: Oh yeah. Granola pisses me off.
Lance: We're gonna get a lot of candy! Hunk, now try not to scare them off.
Hunk: Are you crazy? I'm the candy master!
Keith: No,no, you're ass-master. there's a difference.
Hunk: HEY! I'm not the one who dressed like pippy long stocking al day!
Pidge: Well, at least my Fiancé didn't appear on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine!
Hunk: God dammit, Farla DID NOT APPEAR ON THE COVER OF CRACK WHORE MAGAZINE!
Allura appears...
Pidge: Hey, Allura.
Allura: Keith, I'm sorry for what Farla did. You want to go trick or treating with me?
Keith: No, I'm gonna go with my friends here.
A lot of laughing comes from Hunk. Out of nowhere, Allura kicks Hunk in the nuts.
Allura: How sweet. all Right then, If you get bored, just come with me.
Keith: Ok, sourpuss.
Allura: That's not nice, Keith. keep in mind that I'm at a higher rank.
Keith: Ok. sorry.
As they split ways, Pidge talks to Keith.
Pidge: Why didn't you go with Allura? She really does like you.
Keith: I know, Pidge, but I fell uncomfortable around a woman that is younger and at a higher rank than me.
Pidge: Oh come on, I'd kill for a gal like that, if I wasn't obsessed with that Green Robeast. Man I got some good nookie out of that deal.
Meanwhile at the Mayors office....
Austin bursts in to the room....
Austin: Mayor! There is a major pain in the ass problem!
Austin notices Mr. Garibaldi Semi Naked and the mayor pops up from behind her desk...
Mr. Garibaldi: You're probably wondering about why there is a bunch of money on he desk and wh we are wearing no pants. Let me assure you it has nothing to do with the Telepath Fund.
Austin: HELL NO! I'm here to tell you about what is going on outside in the real world!
Mayor:You mean the Show on MTV?
Austin: NO! Anyway, I've seen this kind of problem before with Undertaker!
Mayor: What?
Austin: It's night of the living dead out there! and I'm not talking about the kids dressed in costumes!
Mayor: HA! hahaha. You've been drinking again?
Austin: Oh Hell No! This is real!
Mr. Garibaldi: Yeah sure, you go back out, and go have a good time.
Austin: You are a bunch of God-Damn Idiots! It's your funeral! And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold says so!
Austin leaves and runs to tell others to no avail...
In the neighborhood....
The five are trick or treating...
All Five: Trick or Treat!
Old lady: Oh how cute! Here's some Sweety pops...
Sven attacks the old lady...
Old Lady: OH MY GOD! CALL 911! CALL 911!
She runs into the house...
Keith: Dammit Sven! We were gonna get some sweety pops!
Pidge: You owe me a sweety pop asshole!
Pidge nudges Sven...
Next House...
All Five: trick or treat!
Guy: I hope you like peanut butter puffies.
Sven Attacks the man, and eats his brains...
Lance: Dammit! We're not gonna get any candy if Sven keeps on killing and eating them!
Keith: You're right, Sven See ya!
Next House....
All Five: Tricker Treat
3 Drule masters come to the door.
Hunk: Hey! Their dressed like monks too!
one of the Drule masters gives hunk a Sweety Pop and closes the door.
Hunk: WHAT! One Sweety Pop! You cheap bastards!
Next House....
All Five: trick or......AAAAAAHHHH!
Austin Comes out with a sledgehammer and a chainsaw!
Austin: GET YOUR SORRY ASSES OFF MY PORCH YOU JACKASSES!
Keith: No, Wait It's- We are alive!
Austin: Oh, Damn, I thought you were one of those Zombies that have been attacking everyone in the town.
Lance: What?
Austin: Just listen to what I say. And you Faggot! You better get that DAMN costume off before I open a can of whoop-ass on ya!
Lance: Me?
Austin: Not you hippie, the fat bitch that's with ya!
Hunk: Hey, I'm a monk! Keith over here looked like Howdy doody earlier!
Austin: there's nothing wrong with that. I dressed as Ken once. I'll explain about that one later. Let's go!
Keith: Where are we going?
Austin: To the morgue, because Stone Cold says so!
At the morgue....
The crew search for answers when Lance finds something...
Lance: I FOUND IT!
Pidge: What?
Lance: See? Farla is on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine!
Hunk: I....But......Damn......SHIT!
Austin: Now Kids, you shouldn't be reading that! Here, I'll be taking that!
Austin puts it in his back pocket
Keith: Look what I found!
Keith finds a bottle of Worshchestire sauce knocked over and all of it's contents emptied into the embalming fluid...
Austin: Turn it over, there's some writing on it.
Lance: What does it say?
Keith: It says, "WARNING! Do not pour into embalming fluid."
Pidge: That explains it.
Keith: Explains what, Pidge?
Pidge: With a warning like that, It may be responsible for the Zombies running around!
Just as Pidge finishes,The Zombies Break into the morgue! Keith Takes Austin's sledge hammer and whacks one with it, causing the zombie's head to fall off, and roll onto the floor....
Lance: Good Shot!
Austin: Get out of here, While I hold them off!
Keith: But what about you?
Austin: Forget about me! GO!
Lance: But....
Austin: GO NOW, and take this card with you!
Keith: What do we do with it?
Austin: There's a number on it, Go to the nearest phone and dial the number on it. There's a guy that will help you! GO, Because "STONE COLD SAYS SO"!
As the 5 run away, Austin Holds the Zombie off with his Chainsaw, slicing away....
As they are running....
Pidge: Man, This is better than the party Allura Threw last year!
Keith: Are you nuts? This has got to be the WORST Halloween!
Out of nowhere, the Zombies surround them....
Keith: What do we do now?
Pidge: Looks like we're gonna fight our way out!
While Keith, Pidge, and Hunk are fighting, Lance runs to the payphone and dials the number on the card....
Lance: C'MON C'mon someone pick up the phone!
During the battle....
Farla attempts to attack them...
Keith: Farla?
Pidge: Forget it Keith, She's one of them!
Hunk: HEY! That's my cousin!
Keith: I'm really sorry for wishing that you were dead, Farla.
Pidge: Forget about her, Keith, Remember how she dissed you at school?
At the Phone...
Lance: YES! Hello?
Agent Mulder answers the phone...
Mulder: Agent Fox Mulder here. What seems to be the problem?
Lance: We have a major Zombie epidemic running here!
Mulder: Now calm down. Allow me to help you. I assume the Worshchestire sauce poured into the embalming fluid. Am I right?
Lance: YES! What do I do?
Mulder: Well.....For one thing, don't just star killing Zombies at random. is that understood?
Lance: Uh........Okay.
Mulder: Now, The first thing you must do, is find the main Zombie. When you do, you must kill him. When you do, everybody else will turn back to normal.
Lance: Ok, just give me a few seconds.
Mulder: Ok.
Lance: (to himself) Ok now, let's see, If I were a Zombie, who would I be? THAT"S IT! Sven was killed, and then he got slabbed, then...... OF COURSE! Sven IS THE MAIN ZOMBIE! OK, I found him, thanks for helping me!
Mulder: You're welcome. If you have any more problems, just call the number provided on the card.
Lance Hangs up the Phone, Grabs the nearest chainsaw and slices Sven in Half!
Keith: WOW! I didn't know you could do that!
Lance: Oh My God! I Killed Svenny!
Lance drops the Chainsaw....
Lance: I'M A BASTARD!
The people return to normal....
Allura runs through the carnage to check up on the others to see if they are ok....
Allura: Whoa! What Happened?
Pidge: It'll be ok. Keith just saved the town!
Allura: Really?
Keith: Actually, no. But..
Lance: Hell Yea he did! Give him a kiss!
Keith: But I
Hunk: Oh Don't be a wuss, Keith, You saved the town!
Allura Plants a big wet kiss on Keith, in turn causes Keith to pass out....
Allura: Poor Keith. I guess all of the excitement wore him out.
Pidge: He'll be ok in the morning.
The next Morning......
Rico, Bron, and Konda are standing over Sven's Grave.
Bron: Poor Sven, he gave up his life for the better of this town.
Konda: Yea, It's just hard to believe that he was just here yesterday.
Bron: What do you think, Rico?
Rico: I learned something, Halloween isn't just about getting candy, it's about getting presents.
Konda: That's Christmas, Rico.
Rico: Then what's Halloween about?
Bron: Getting candy of course.
Rico: Oh. Ok. Let's go home.
Konda: Yea, I got some dirty pics of Minmei!
Bron: Hey, they are a few years old, she needed the money.
Rico: These were last month.
Kondo: Cool!
As the 3 Zentradi Spies walk off, Sven Digs himself out of the grave. You can see the stitches that hold him together from being sawed in half.
Then Austin, who was visiting Brian Pillman's grave, Stone Cold Stuns Sven and Knocks a statue on him.
Austin: STAY DOWN DAMMIT!
As Austin Leaves, One of Zarkon's attack ships falls on Sven.
End Episode 4