Episode 07 - Big Gay Yurak's Big Gay Boat Ride

[Bus Stop]
Lance: Hey, where's the school bus? We're gonna be late for football practice.
Keith: Hiya Cheesey.
Lance: Who's that?
Keith: That's my new Space Mouse Cheesey. He followed me to the bus stop.
Pidge: Wow! Cool!
Keith: Good Space Mouse Cheesey. Who's my best buddy? Who's the boy? Who's the buddy?
Hunk: Eh. You're making me sick dude.
Keith: He's part mouse and part rat. He's the toughest animal on the planet.
Hunk: Noo way. Everybody knows that Blue Cat is the toughest animal in Voltron Park.
Blue Cat: Arrrrrr
Keith: He's not meaner than Cheesey.
Hunk: Oh yeh, let's see. Hey, Blue Cat.
Keith: Cheesey'll kick his ass.
Hunk: I'll put a dollar on Blue Cat.
Lance: You're on dude.
Blue Cat, Cheesey: Arrrrrr.
Keith: That's it Cheesey, kick his ass.
Blue Cat, Cheesey: Arrrrrr.


Cheesey starts panting
Blue Cat starts whimpering


Hunk: Heh, he's doing something to his ass. He's not kicking his ass, but he's definitely doing something to his ass.
Keith: Cheesey, bad Space Mouse!
Sven: Oh my god I think they're screwing.
Keith: What?!?
Hunk: Yeah dude, I think your Space Mouse is gay.
Keith: What do you mean?
Hunk: That Space Mouse is a gay homosexual.
Keith: He's just confused.
Lance: I think the other animal's the one that's confused.
Sven: Not from what I saw.
Keith: Sick, shut up dude.
Hunk: [Singing]Keith's mouse is a homo. Keith's mouse is a homo.


Transport Arrives

[Football Field]
King Alfor: Ok children, I know that you're all extremely excited, nervous, and anxious about the homecoming game against da Robopark.
Lance: Who's Robopark?
Hunk: What's homecoming?
King Alfor: But just remember what I taught you. That football is like making love to a really beautiful woman. You can't always score, but when you do, it makes all the trying worthwhile.


[Silence]
King Alfor: Now, let's start practice.

[Whistle]
Prince Bandor: Uh, King Alfor sir?
King Alfor: Yes Prince Bandor, what is it?
Prince Bandor: Well, I still don't have a helmet.
King Alfor: I know Prince Bandor, the school can't afford helmets for everybody.
Prince Bandor: Yes, but, couldn't we rotate who doesn't have a helmet every week? Does it always have to be me?
King Alfor: Yes Prince Bandor, I'm afraid it does.
Prince Bandor: Oh.
King Alfor: Sorry son, now get your ass in there.

[On the playing field]
Keith: Hut-hut-hut-hut-hut--hut.hut.hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut
King Alfor: Hike the damn ball.

Hunk Hikes the ball over Keith's head
Hunk: Eh.

Keith gives the ball chase

Lance runs into Bandor's head, opening a major gash

[On sideline]
John Sheridan: Hey, how's practice coming there King Alfor?
King Alfor: Huh, oh, fine.
John Sheridan: I don't have to remind you just how important this game is to us Voltron Park Alumni.
King Alfor: Academy alumni?
John Sheridan: That's as far as most of us got. You think we have a shot at beating the spread against Robopark this year?
King Alfor: I don't know. Wha, what's the spread?
John Sheridan: Robopark by 70 points.
King Alfor: Hmmm.

[On playing field]

Hunk runs into Sven, fumbling the football

[On sideline]
King Alfor: I don't think we have a chance.
John Sheridan: Nonsense! Not with my nephew at quarterback. Right Keith?

[On playing field]

Keith looks towards sideline as ball is snapped.
Hunk: Eh.
Keith: Huh?

Ball snaps Keith in the head.

Keith picks up ball and throws it to Lance.

[On sideline]
John Sheridan: Thatta boy.
King Alfor: Great pass Keith.
John Sheridan: Come on Susan, we gotta get our asses to the booky.

[On sideline after practice]
King Alfor: Ok. That was a good practice children. We'll see you here again tomorrow.
Pidge: Hey Keith, isn't that your Space Mouse?
Keith: Yeh, he must have followed me to football practice. You see, he is smart.
Kid: Ah, my Space Mouse Rex follows me to football practice all the time.
Keith: Yeh, but my Space Mouse found his own way here. That makes him smarter than your-

[Space Mouse whimpering and panting]
Keith: Cheesey, get down!
Kid: Oh my God! What is he doing to my Space Mouse?
Hunk: There he goes again.
Keith: Get down Cheesey! Down!
Hunk: Keith forgot to mention that his Space Mouse is a gay homosexual.
Kid: Make him stop!

Rex runs away with tail between legs
Rex: squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek squeek!

[Laughter]
Bully1: I'm sure glad my Space Mouse isn't gay.
Bully2: Yeh, maybe you should name your Space Mouse Cheesette, Keith.
Bully1: Gay Space Mouse.

[Laugher]

Cheesey walks up panting

[Koran's Classroom]
Hunk: And so you see, Simon & Simon were not brothers in real life, only on television.
Koran: Thank you for that presentation Eric, but the assignment was on Asian cultures. You get a D minus.
Hunk: Ah, damnit.
Koran: Who should we call on next Nanny?
Nanny: Well, how about Keith, our little Voltron Park quarterback star?
Koran: Oh, good idea. Ok Keith, you're next.
Keith: Um, I'm not really prepared either.
Koran: Well, just make something up, like Hunk did.
Keith: Ok, uh. Asian culture has, plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must end it-
Koran: Excellent. A minus.
Hunk: Eh!
Keith: Wow, cool!
Hunk: Wait a minute, why the hell does he get an A minus
Koran: Hunk, Keith just might lead our team to victory against the Robopark space cowboys for the first time in decades. And we treat star atheletes better cause they're better people.
Hunk: That's not fair!
Nanny: Life isn't fair kiddo, get used to it.
Hunk: Stupid puppet.

Bell rings
Koran: Don't forget your assignments tonight children, they're due tomorrow for everybody but Keith.
Keith: Koran, can I ask you a question?
Koran: Well of course Keith, what is it?
Keith: What's a - homosexual?
Koran: Hoh, well, Keith, I guess you came to the right person. Sit down.

Keith sits
Koran: Keith, gay people...well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine. But rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea sized brains which becomes the cause of their Naziesque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?
Keith: I guess.
Koran: Good, I'm glad we could have this little talk Keith. Now you go outside and practice football like a good little heterosexual.

[Coming off the Transport]
Hunk: You guys see me block that defense today, I was kicking ass.
Lance: You're gonna need to kick more ass than that to beat the space cowboys.
Hunk: Hey, speaking of pounding ass, here comes Keith's little homo Space Mouse.
Keith: Shut up dude!

Cheesey comes up panting with a pink scarf on
Keith: Cheesey, where'd you get that pink scarf?
Cheesey: squeek squeek.
Hunk: Man, that is the gayest Space Mouse I've ever seen.
Keith: He just needs some training, that's all.
Keith: Sit Cheesey.

Cheesey sits
Keith: Good boy, now shake.

Cheesey shakes.
Keith: Goood boy. Now, don't be gay. Don't be gay Chessey. Don't be gay.

Cheesey looks at Keith with confusion
Cheesey: Grrh
Lance: Did it work?
Keith: I don't know.
Hunk: He still looks pretty gay to me.
Bully1: Huh, huh.
Bully2: Hey Keith, your Space Mouse been to any pride marches lately?
Bully1: Huh huh, yeh, maybe you should take him to a Barbara Streisand concert.

[Laughter]
Bully1: Stupid little gay Space Mouse.
Bully2: Gay Space Mouse.
Keith: Come on you guys, I have an idea.

Susan Ivanova and John Sheridan enter Sports Book $
John Sheridan: I want 500 dollars on the Voltron Park Lions.
Booky: Are you crazy?
John Sheridan: No siree. I'm telling you, I got the line. My nephew Keith is the best quarterback the school has ever seen. I guarantee they'll beat the spread.
Gambler1: I want to put all my money on the Lions.
Gambler2: Duh, duh, I think I'll put 300 on the Lions too.
Gambler3: Hey, I want to put some money on the Lions too.
Gambler4: I got 500 on the Lions.
Gambler5: Well, I'll put money on the Lions.
John Sheridan: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't get too carried away now, Iiii.
Gambler6: You better be right about this Sheridan.
John Sheridan: Hehe, yeh. Don't, don't worry yourself.
Susan Ivanova: Are you sure Keith is that good?
John Sheridan: Not that sure. I think we better come up with a backup plan. Uhh, let's see here. Hey bookie! Wha, what's the halftime show gonna be?
Booky: You haven't heard! John Stamos' older brother Richard Stamos is gonna sing 'Loving You'.
Susan Ivanova: I love that song.
John Sheridan: Loving You'. That's perfect! Come on Susan Ivanova, Robopark's gonna get a Halftime show they'll never forget.

[In front of Stan's house]

There's a small crate sitting next to the kids.
Keith: Ok Cheesey, we got you a present. Now why don't...

Keith notices pink scarf on Cheesey
Keith: Damn it Cheesey, where do you keep getting this thing?!?

Keith tears the scarf off of Cheesey
Keith: No pink bandanas Cheesey, bad Space Mouse! Now pay attention. Cheesey,

Keith opens crate.
Keith: this is Cheedar.
Lance: Oolala

Cheedar sniffs some

Cheesey goes after Cheedar
Hunk: There he goes.
Keith: Atta boy Cheesey, get her.

Cheesey jumps on Cheedar.
Keith: Yes!

Cheesey throws Cheedar's collar into the air, catching it on his neck.
Keith: Ah crap! Now what do I do?
Pidge: Who cares if your Space Mouse is gay? Maybe it's not that bad.
Hunk: No way dude, my mom says God hates gay people. That's why he smote those sodomies in France.
Sven: They suck
Keith: I know, Koran said that homosexuals are evil, but, but Cheesey doesn't seem evil.
Lance: Well, maybe Koran is wrong. You should ask somebody else.
Keith: Like who?

[Inside Stan's house]

Jesus and Pal's title screen is on TV
TV Announcer: And now back to Jesus and Pals on Voltron Park public access.
Jesus: Yea, many of you are seeking answers, and I am the way for you my children. Let's open the phone lines back up for some questions.
Jesus: Hello caller, you're on the air.

[Beep]
Robert: Yeh, is, is this Jesus?
Jesus: Yes my son.
Robert: This, this is Robert from Torrey Pines. I called last week asking for advice on my ex-wife.
Jesus: Of course Robert. How are things now?
Robert: Well, every, everything's much better Jesus. She hasn't mouthed off since. I just wanted to thank you for the advice. Oh, and for, for dying for my sins, that was really nice of you.
Jesus: Blessed art though Robert. Next caller, you're on the air.

[Beep]
Keith: Uh, hi, Jesus. I, I have a Space Mouse, and he's a, he's a homosexual.
Jesus: My son, a lot of people have wondered what my stance on homosexuality is.
So I'd like to state once and for all, my true opinion. You see...
TV Announcer: That's all the time we've left for Jesus and Pals, now stay tuned for Marty's Movie Reviews.
Keith: Damn it!
Lance: What'd he say?
Keith: I got cut off for Marty's stupid Movie Reviews.
Hunk: Oh, Marty's Movie Reviews are on, kiick ass!
Keith: Isn't there anybody who can help me? Isn't there anybody who cares?
Lance: Come on dude, we have to get to practice.
Keith: No, it's not ok! I don't want a gay Space Mouse! I want a butch Space Mouse! I want a Mighty Mouse!

[Outside]
Cheesey: Squeek.

Cheesey dig's a hole under the fence.
Cheesey runs away.

[On the sideline at practice]
King Alfor: Now children, we've got to handle the ball better. You got to hold your football like you hold your lover.

Music Starts
King Alfor: Gently...yet firmly. You gonna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh yeh, just like you're givin' sweet love to the football. Nnnaughty with the football. Mmmm.
Sven: Uh, King Alfor?
King Alfor: Spank it, ever so gently.
Pidge: King Alfor?
King Alfor: Spank it.
Lance: King Alfor!
King Alfor: Oh, uhhh, sorry children. Uhh, let's run some plays.
Prince Bandor: Uh, King Alfor sir?
King Alfor: No Prince Bandor, we still don't have a helmet for you.
Prince Bandor: Righto, but how about I use a helmet today, and one of the other children goes without?
King Alfor: That wouldn't be very fair to the other children, now would it?
Prince Bandor: No I, I guess not.

[Carl's Bombs and Explosives and Accessories]
John Sheridan: What we want to do here Carl is put a trigger on that bomb that makes it go off at a specific moment during halftime.
Carl: What moment would that be?
John Sheridan: Well, John Stamos' older brother is all set to sing 'Loving You' during halftime. We want that bomb to go off when he hits that high F.
Carl: What high F?
John Sheridan: You know, [singing, badly] Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful doo-nn- doo-nn-doo-doo...Ahhhhh
Carl: Right, right, so you want the trigger on the doo-nn-doo.
John Sheridan: No, damnit! The Ahhhhh.
Carl: Ahhhhhh.
Susan Ivanova: Ahhhhhh.
John Sheridan: Ahhhhhh.
Carl: Ahhhhhh.
John Sheridan: Great, we...
Carl: Doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-doo - Ahhh.
Susan Ivanova: Doo-nn-doo-doo
John Sheridan: You got it...
Carl: Doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-doo...
Susan Ivanova: ahh - dooo
John Sheridan: Ahhhhhh.
Carl: Alright, yeh, ok...

[On the sideline at practice]
King Alfor: What's the matter Keith, you seem down.
Keith: I just, I can't concentrate 'cause my Space Mouse is gay.
King Alfor: Well, you know what they say: you can't teach a gay Space Mouse straight tricks.
Koran: Oh, stop filling his head with that queer-loving propaganda.
King Alfor: Say what?!? You of all people should be sympathetic.
Koran: What do you mean?
King Alfor: Well, you're gay aren't you?
Koran: What?!? What the hell are you talking about?!? I am not gay.
King Alfor: Well, you sure do act like it.
Koran: I just act that way to get chicks, dumb ass.

King Alfor looks puzzlingly, but wonderingly

[On the field]
Lance: What's the matter dude?
Keith: I don't know where Cheesey is. He usually follows me to football practice.
Hunk: Maybe he went shopping for some leather pants.

Keith punches Hunk
Hunk: Ow!

[Snowy mountains]

Cheesey is trekking throught the snow.

Cheesey comes to Big Gay Yurak's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary
Big Gay Yurak: Hello there little mouse, I'm Big Gay Yurak.

Cheesey looks at him
Big Gay Yurak: Have you been outcast?

Cheesey pants an affirmative
Big Gay Yurak: Well, then I'm so glad you found my Big Gay Animal Sanctuary. We're all big gay friends here. Would you like to live with us?

Cheesey pants an affirmative
Big Gay Yurak: Come on in little fellow, nobody will ever oppress you here.

[Bus Stop]
Keith: Have you guys seen Cheesey, he still hasn't come back.
Pidge: Wow, it's been like two days.
Keith: I think he might've run away.
Hunk: Did you check the shopping m....

Keith punches Hunk
Hunk: Ow!
Lance: We'll help you look for him after the game Keith.
Keith: I'm not playing.
Lance: You what!?!
Keith: I'm not playing in that stupid game. I have to find my Space Mouse.

[Robopark School]
John Sheridan: [Whisper]Come on Susan, and keep quiet.
Susan Ivanova: [Louder than John Sheridan]Ok

[In front of Robopark's Mascot, Regent]
John Sheridan: Hello there Regent.
Susan Ivanova: What are we doing here?
John Sheridan: Well Susan Ivanova, we always kidnapped Robopark's mascot. But this year we're gonna booby-trap it instead.

John Sheridan puts bomb on the Regent's back
John Sheridan: And when John Stamos' older brother hits that high F in 'Loving You', Boom!

The Regent's gets wide-eyed
John Sheridan: No more Robopark players.
Susan Ivanova: Hahahahaha

John Sheridan laughs
John Sheridan: God damn, I love football!

[Stormy mountains]
Keith: Cheesey! Where are you?!? Where could he be?

[Voltron Park Academy]

Robopark players exit bus.

[Voltron Park Football Field]

A lot of Lions! fanfare, even Ike is wearing a shirt and bouncing about.
Frank Hammond: Hello everyone, this is Frank Hammond, Voltron Park public radio, AM 900, Welcome to tonight's matchup between the Robo Park Space Cowboys and the Voltron Park Lions.
Frank Hammond: Well, it looks like King Alfor, the Voltron Park Lions coach looks a little nervous. This is probably because his star quarterback has yet to show up.
King Alfor: Ohhh, come on Keith.
Prince Bandor: Uh, King Alfor, if Keith doesn't show up, can I use his helmet?
King Alfor: No Prince Bandor, I'm sorry!

[Stormy mountains]
Keith: Cheesey! Cheesey!

[Voltron Park Football Field]
Referee: Play ball.
King Alfor: You're gonna have to quarterback Lance.
Lance: But I never practiced quarterback.
King Alfor: It's a little late for the bull crap now.
Frank: Filling in for quarterback is number 12, Lance.
Koran: Hey, hey, where is little Keith?
Nanny: Yeh, why the hell is that little smartass kid playing quarterback?
John Sheridan: Susan, look. They've got the Regent on their sideline, and it looks like that bomb's still attached.
Susan Ivanova: Yeah.

[Big Gay Yurak's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary]
Big Gay Yurak: Hi little fella, how are you doing today?
Keith: Fine, how are you?
Big Gay Yurak: I'm super, thanks for asking.
Keith: My gay Space Mouse ran away, and I was wondering if maybe he came here.
Big Gay Yurak: Well, let's see. Come on in. Hmm.

Keith goes into Big Gay Yurak's
Keith: Do you have lots of gay mice here?
Big Gay Yurak: We have all sorts of gay animals here at Big Gay Yurak's. Over here we have a gay lion.
Gay Lion: Rooaar
Big Gay Yurak: And we have gay water buffalo, gay hummingbirds, here's a gaggle of gay gooses. Hi fellas, it's so super to see you!
Keith: Wow, seems like the animals here are really happy.
Big Gay Yurak: Of course they are silly buns. It's the one place where gay animals can really be themselves. Would you like to dance?

[On the Dance Floor]

Cheesy disco like music plays
Vocalist: [Singing]Oww, we can all be gay!

[In the huddle]
Lance: Hunk, you hike me the ball, then somebody run, and I'll throw it or something. Ready?!?
Huddle: Break!

[At the line of scrimmage]
Dana Sterling: You guys are toast.
Bowie Grant: Yeh, we're gonna pound your heads in.
Hunk: We'll just see about that.
Lance: Set, set.

Hunk farts long and nasty
Lance: Damn it Hunk!

Lance runs back from Hunk's gas
King Alfor: What's the matter?
Lance: Hunk farted!
Hunk: No I didn't. That was just my shoes.
King Alfor: Come on Lions, we'll get a delay of game penalty.
Lance: No way dude!
King Alfor: Hike the ball.

Lance approaches Hunk with his shirt covering his nose.
Lance: Ah, dude, weak.
Hunk: That's right, you get back there.
Lance: Hut.

Lance takes the snap.

Frank: The ball is snapped. Robopark blitzes.

Screaming as Lance is mobbed by the RoboPark blitz.
Frank: Fumble, Robopark gets the ball...they run it in for a TOUCHDOWN! The score is seven-nothing Robo Park, with 14:57 remaining in the first quarter.
John Sheridan: Hell's bells.
Frank: Why, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King.

Phil covers the mic.
Phil: Now Frank, that's not very PC. You're gonna get us in trouble again.
Frank: Right, right, uh. I gotta watch that.
Townsman 1: We lose our money 'cause of your nephew, we're gonna hang you up to dry John Sheridan.
John Sheridan: Don't y'all worry, you just wait till halftime, hehe.

[Big Gay Yurak's dance floor]
Vocalist: Funkay, funkay.

Keith is gettin' down with a gay monkey.

Keith sees Cheesey
Keith: Cheesey! Hiya Cheesey, how's it goin'?
Cheesey: Squeek.
Keith: I missed you old pal, you really had me scared.
Cheesey: Squeek
Keith: Come on, let's go home. I can still make it in time for the game.

Cheesey follows Keith
Keith: We can work on making you not gay together.

Cheesey stops
Keith: Cheesey?
Big Gay Yurak: Young man, it appears you still don't understand.
Keith: What don't I understand?
Big Gay Yurak: Come this way, I have to show you something.

[Voltron Park Football Field]
Frank: With just over a minute to go in the half the score is Robo Park Space Cowboys 52, Voltron Park Lions 0.
Lance: Hut, hut.

Hunk snaps the ball to Lance

Space Cowboys blitz

Lance flips the ball back to Prince Bandor, who is still without a helmet.

Prince Bandor is dogpiled by what could be the entire Space Cowboys team
Frank: Oh no, I haven't seen an Polluxian take a blow like that since Bandor's older brother.
Phil: Dude! Now that is not cool.
Frank: Sorry, sorry.

[Big Gay Yurak's Big Gay Boat Ride]
Big Gay Yurak: Ok Keith, I think you should get in line for my Big Gay Boat Ride.

Keith looks at boat
Big Gay Yurak: Step aboard Keith.

Keith gets on board, with Cheesey
Big Gay Yurak: Hello everyone, and welcome aboard the Big Gay Boat Ride. On this adventure
we'll be seeing the world of gayness throughout time.

[Voltron Park Football Field]
Frank: And the Voltron Park Lions are set to receive...

Space Cowboys kick off
Frank: There's the kick.

Sven takes the kick.
Frank: It's taken by number 13, Sven

Sven weaves through the special teams
Frank: He's at the 50, the 40, the 30.
Space Cowboys: Hold him, hold him!

Two Space Cowboys take hold of Kenny's arms
Cowboys: Hold him, hold him!
Dante: Yahhh!

A Third Cowboy dives in, taking Svenny's head off, as the other two sever Kenny's arms.
Frank: The running back is down. I think he's...

Rats come in to devour Svenny's corpse.
Frank: Yes, he's been decaptitated.
Lance: Huh! Oh my God, they killed Svenny! You Bastards!
Phil: That's gotta hurt Frank.
Frank: Ouch-a-roo
King Alfor: Hey, come on. That was roughing. At least let us scrape him off the field.
Frank: Looks like the Voltron Park Lions aren't even going to beat the 72 point spread. Not by a long shot.

[Big Gay Yurak's Big Gay Boat Ride]
Big Gay Yurak: You see, gayness has existed since the beginning of time. From the Egyptian pharaohs, to the shoguns of Japan.

A shot of Hitler, a priest and a suit beating up a gay guy.
Big Gay Yurak: Uh oh, look out, it's the oppressors. Christians and republicans and nazis, oh my!

Big Gay Yurak fires off a shot with her revolver
Big Gay Yurak: Ohhh! Oh God, that was close. Ok, let's steer our Big Gay Boat out of here and into a place where gays are allowed to live freely.

Doors open to reveal a scene right out of 'It's a Small World'

Small World
Singers: We're all gay, and it's ok, 'cause gay means happy and happy means gay. We're not sad anymore, cause we're out the closet door. It's ok, hey, to be gay!
Big Gay Yurak: Sooo, what do you think Keith?
Keith: This kicks ass! I'm sorry I tried to change you Cheesey, I just didn't understand.
Big Gay Yurak: Isn't this precious?

[Voltron Park Football Field]
Frank: And now, here to sing the touching song, 'Loving You' is the one and only, John Stamos' brother...
John Sheridan: Alright Richard!

Music Starts
Richard: [Singing] Loving you, is easy cause you're beautiful - doo-n-doo--doo-doooo-- Ahhhh

Music Stops
Richard: Ahhhh
John Sheridan: What the hell?!?
Richard: Ahhhh
John Sheridan: He didn't sing the high F.

Richard continues to Ahhhh, badly
Koran: Richard Stamos can't sing a high F, he always screws it up like this
John Sheridan: Susan, we are going to get our asses kicked.
Richard: Lalalala
Koran: It's obvious where all the talent in that family went!

[Outside of Big Gay Yurak's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary]
Keith: Thanks for everything Big Gay Yurak!
Cheesey: Squeek!
Big Gay Yurak: No problem kids. Are you sure you don't wanna stay for some toasted cheese sandwiches?
Keith: No thanks, I've gotta get back for the big football game. Come on boy!

Keith and Cheesey start to walk off
Big Gay Yurak: Oh Keith?

Keith and Cheesey stop
Big Gay Yurak: When you get back to town, tell them about us, will you? Tell them there are gay animals here who need homes, desperately.
Keith: I will Big Gay Yurak, I will.

Keith and Cheesey start to walk off
Big Gay Yurak: Ooh, my carrot cake!

[Voltron Park Football Field]
Lance: Hike!

Sounds of football war, as the Cowboys continue to tear apart the Lions
Frank: And these Voltron Park Lions are being absolutely molested by Robo Park. I haven't seen so many children since...
Koran: I thought you said beating the spread was a sure thing John Sheridan.
Townsman 1: Yeh, we all put our life savings in this game
Townsman 2: You're a dead man John Sheridan

An assortment of food products are thrown at Sheridan.
Frank: Well, this should just about wrap it up for....

Keith and Cheesey come on to the field.
Frank: Wait a minute, what's this?
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Frank: It's Keith, the Voltron Park star quarterback!
King Alfor: Where the hell have you been Keith?!?
Keith: I've been getting my best friend back.
King Alfor: Just get in there boy!
John Sheridan: Give 'em hell Stanley!

Keith gets in at quarterback
John Sheridan: Jesus, now I haven't asked you for much, but all we need is one little score. Please? Please, Jesus?
Jesus: Leave me alone.
Keith: Hike
Frank: Keith hikes the ball. He steps back to pass.
Lance: Hey Keith, I'm open, I think.
Keith: Ehh.
Frank: And he throws it to Lance, the little smartass kid.

Lance runs towards the end zone, panting, Space Cowboys hot on his trail.
Frank: Oh my! I haven't seen a little smartass run like that since that Nightwatch guy stabbed Delenn in 2260!
Phil: Dude!

Random screaming sounds as the Space Cowboys fail to keep Lance from scoring.
Frank: Touchdown!
John Sheridan: Yeah!
Koran: Wooo!
Frank: The clock runs out and the final score is Middle Park Cowboys 73, Voltron Park Lions 6. Voltron Park beats the spread!
John Sheridan: Yeah! Woohoo!

Keith gets on stage by scoreboard
Townsman: Speech!
Frank: Keith, what do you want to tell the world about this stunning almost victory?
Keith: It's really cool that we beat the spread against the Space Cowboys.
Crowd: Yeah, alright!
Keith: And maybe we can beat 'em even more next year!
Crowd: Woooo
Keith: And it's ok to be gay!

Continue on to Part 2 of Episode 7