Episode 14 - Prince Lotor, the Christmas Poo

[Voltron Park Academy]
A group of kids are on stage.
Voltron Park Kids: [Singing]We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

{Keith steps out from offstage.}
Keith: Lights please.

{The lights dim, leaving Keith in the spot light.}
And there were, in the same country, shepards abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And loh the angel of the lord came upon them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, "fear not, for behold I bring you tidings of great joy. For born unto you this day in the Sea of ... David is a saviour. Tis Christ the Lord. Glory to God in the highest, and honor with peace, good will towards men." And now Voltron Park Academy presents: "The Birth of Jesus."
{The curtain opens, revealing a Nativity Scene}

{Allura[as the Virgin Mary] is breathing and panting as though in labor.}
Lance: [As Joseph]Come on Mary, push!
Allura: Ah!
Lance: I can see its head!
Allura: Ahhhhh!

[Pop]

{Lance catches baby Jesus and grasps it by the head.}
Lance: It's a boy.
Hunk: [One of the 3 wise men]Ohhhh.
Pidge: [One of the 3 wise men]WOW!
Svenny: [An angel above the scene]It must be a miracle.

Koran is off stage directing the play.
Koran: Wait a minute, wait, wait, wait. Lance, what the hell was that? You need to hold the baby by the legs, not by the head. What kind of sick weirdo are you?
Lance: Sorry.
Koran: And Allura, I'm still not believing the labor pains.
Allura: Ok.
Lance's mom: Koran, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Koran: Well, I'm trying to direct the academy Christmas Play, but your son was holding baby Jesus fetus by the head.
Lance's mom: How dare you include the Nativity in a school play! Don't you realize my son is a smartass?!?

[Silence]
Koran: So.
Lance's mom: So what makes you think he should play Joseph of Aramethea?
Koran: Because it's Christmas.
Lance's mom: Our family doesn't celebrate Christmas.

[Gasp] Koran: Oh God, you're not going to lay that Smartass crap on me, are you?
Lance's mom: What, what, what! You're not going to get away with this Koran.
Hunk: Oh good, Lance's mom is here to ruin Christmas.
Lance: Shut up fat boy!
Hunk: I'm not fat! I'm festively plump.
Keith: Why are you a smartass on Christmas Lance?
Koran: Oh, okay. Lance, is there anything you can do for the Christmas play that isn't related to Jesus?
Lance's mom: How about the I'm a lil' smartass song, boobie?
Lance: I can sing the Prince Lotor song.
Koran: The Prince Lotor song, how does that go?
Lance: [Singing]Prince Lotor the Christmas poo, he loves me and I love you...
Keith: Christmas poo?
Pidge: What the hell is Christmas poo?!?
Lance: Prince Lotor the Christmas poo, haven't you guys ever heard of him?
Lance's mom: Lance, that is enough!
Koran: See, that's what you get when you raise your child to be a smartass.
Lance's mom: Now that does it. I am going straight to the mayor about you Koran.
Koran: Oh, wait, wait. I'm sorry, was it the smartass remark?
Allura: You guys, look! It's snowing!

[Cheering]

{The kids are run outside into the playground.}
Pidge: Wow, Christmas snow!
Allura: Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue.

{Allura catches a snowflake.}
Allura: It's fun.

{The other kids proceed to catch snow flakes.}

{A bird flies overhead, pooping in Svenny's mouth.}
Svenny: HEY!
Keith: That was sick dude!

{Lance is about to catch a snowflake.}
Hunk: Hey, what the hell are you doing? smartass people can't eat Christmas snow!
Lance: We can too.
Keith: Nahh, I think it's against the law dude.
Lance: Mr. Garibaldi!

{Mr. Garibaldi is directing traffic nearby.}

{Garibaldi stops a car.}
Mr. Garibaldi: What?
Lance: Is it illegal for smartasses to eat Christmas snow?

{Garibaldi ponders for a moment.}
Mr. Garibaldi: [Making it up]Yesss.
Lance: Damn it!
Pidge: Hey, come on guys. We have to go to the Voltron Park mega-mall and tell Santa Claus what we want for Christmas.
Hunk: Yeh, we'll see you later Lance. Guess there's no reason for you to come, since you don't get Christmas presents.
Lance: No, but I get smartass presents for 10 days.
Hunk: Too bad it's usually rubber dog shit, or something lame like that.
Keith: We'll catch up with you later Lance.
Lance: Wait, I may not have Santa, but I do have Prince Lotor, the Christmas poo.
Pidge: What, what is this about Christmas poo dude?
Lance: Prince Lotor, he comes out of the toilet every year and gives presents to everybody who has a lot of fiber in their diet.
Hunk: Uh, Lance, come on, seriously, you're really reaching right now.
Lance: Well, you're gonna be sorry when you see me riding around on Santa's sleigh with Prince Lotor fat ass!
Hunk: You're not gonna ride around on Santa's sleigh, cause you're a smartass, Lance!
Keith: See you dude.

{Everybody walks off, leaving Lance alone.}

{Lance wanders as he's singing.}
Lance: [Singing]It's hard to be a smartass on Christmas. My friends won't let me join in any games. And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree, or leave water out for Rudolph 'cause there's something wrong with me. My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity. I'm a smartass, a lonely smartass, on Christmas.

{Lance is peeking from behind a tree as the other kids visit Santa.} Lance: [Singing]Being a smartass is nice, but why is it, that Santa passes over my quarters every year? And in stead of eating ham I have to eat joke foaming gum. Instead of Silent Night I'm singing who put the dick on the snowman. And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking bags of crap, tell me please. I'm a smartass, a lonely smartass, I'd be merry, but I'm a smartass, on Christmas.

[City Hall]

{A large crowd is up in arms.}

{The Sky Marshall clears his throat.}
Sky Marshall Graham: Okay everybody, settle down.
Townswoman: Sir, we are deeply offended by the Nativity scene in front of the Administrative office. Church and State are separate.
Crowd: No! No!
Lance: What's going on you guys?
Pidge: The whole town's pissed of at each other, it's really sweet.
Lance's mom: That isn't all Sir, the school play is doing a Nativity scene. It isn't being sensitive to the smartass community.
Koran: You are the smartass community!
Crowd: Yeah, yeah!
Hunk: Oh boy, super bitch is at it again.
Lance: Don't call my mom a bitch, Hunk!
Priest: Sir, the Nativity is what Christmas is all about. If you remove Christ, you must remove Santa and Frosty and all that garbage too.
Followers: Hallelujah!
Townsperson: Amen.
Tree Huggers: And we must put a stop to the cutting down of Christmas trees.
Townsperson: Ah, give me a break.
Capt. Ivanova: And I'm sick and tired of those little flaps on coffee lids, if you don't want to spill your coffee then you shouldn't be flying with it.

{The crowd is a bit unsure.}
Crowd: Yeahhhh!
Sky Marshall Graham: Okay people, clearly we need to reach a compromise. Perhaps we need a new icon for Christmas.
Assistant: Ooh, brilliant idea Sir.
Lance: Hey, how about Prince Lotor the Christmas poo?
Sky Marshall Graham: Excuse me?
Pidge: Oh boy, here we go again.
Lance: Prince Lotor, he comes out of the toilet every year and gives presents to everybody who has a lot of fiber in their diet.
Lance's mom: Lance, shh.
Lance: It's true, he doesn't care what faith you are. [Singing]Prince Lotor the Christmas poo, he loves me and I love you, therefore vicariously he loves you, even ...
Hunk: Don't mind him, he's a very disturbed little boy.
Svenny: Ja, Lance is crasy.
Keith: Yeah.
Lance's mom: Okay Lance, we're leaving right now.
Lance: Wait.
Sky Marshall Graham: Anyway, I'll put together a crack team of my best workers to make sure this will be the most non-offensive ever, to any religious or minority group of any kind. Are there any other suggestions?

{Koran raises his hand.}
Sky Marshall Graham: Yes Koran?
Koran: Could we get rid of all the Polluxians?
Sky Marshall Graham: No Koran, we cannot get rid of all the Polluxians.
Koran: Rats.

[Lance's House]

Aurora unwraps and spins a rubber chicken.
Lance's dad: It is sick and disgusting, and we simply will not have it!
Lance's mom: Your father's right Lance.
Lance's dad: Dear, let me handle this. Having imaginary friends is fine Lance, but this simply will not do!
Lance's mom: Listen to your father Lance.

Aurora is chasing her rubber chicken.

Aurora runs into a table, knocking a flaming pile of crap onto her head.
Lance's dad: Now, I want you to repeat after me, "there is no such thing as Prince Lotor."
Lance: But dad, he always...
Lance's dad: Say it!
Lance: There is no such thing as Prince Lotor.
Lance's dad: Again!
Lance: There is no such thing as Prince Lotor.
Lance's mom: This is for your own good boobie.
Lance's dad: Now you go brush your teeth, and march into bed. You won't be opening your smartass present tonight.
Lance: Probably just another stupid rubber chicken anyway.
Lance's dad: What did you say?!?
Lance: I said Aurora's on fire.
Aurora: Uh oh, the flames, uh oh.
Lance's mom: Oh my God!

[The Bathroom]
Lance: It isn't fair, I don't want to be an outcast. I know Lotor is real! I helped defeat him and his Fleet of Doom
Toilet: Laanncceee.
Lance: I'm not hearing that.
Toilet: Helloooo.

The toilet flushes.
Lance: Prince Lotor?
Prince Lotor: Howdy ho!
Prince Lotor: Howdy ho Lance, gosh you're looking swell.
Lance: Go away Prince Lotor.
Prince Lotor: You know something pal, you smell an awful lot like flowers.
Lance: I said go away, my dad says you're not real.
Prince Lotor: Not real? Well shucks, if I weren't real could I sing this jolly Christmas song. [Singing, and smearing shit all over the bathroom]Santa Claus is on his way, he's loaded goodies on his sleigh, drop 'em off on Christmas day, and I'll say howdy ho!
Lance: Prince Lotor, shhh, I'll get in trouble.
Prince Lotor: Folks'll gather 'round the fire, sing a song that's from a choir, pretty soon they'll all retire and I'll say howdy ho!
Lance's dad: Lance, what are you doing in there?!?
Lance: Nothing!
Lance's dad: Open this door!
Prince Lotor: I hope that Santa comes real soon, I been waiting since the first...
Lance's dad: AAHHHHHHHHH!. Lance!!!

The piece of crap in Lance's hands sits motionless.
Lance: Say something Prince Lotor.

Lance shakes the turd.

The top of the turd falls over.

[Lance's Bedroom]
Lance's dad: Now you get to sleep and think about how your poor mother has to clean that bathroom up!
Lance's mom: What, what what!?! Me?!?

Lance's dad closes the door.
Prince Lotor: Howdy ho.
Lance: Prince Lotor! Where the hell did you go?
Prince Lotor: You should be wearing socks to sleep Lance, you're gonna catch a cold.
Lance: Nobody believes in you, not even my friends!
Prince Lotor: Ahh, gee that's too bad.
Lance: Hey, how about you come to school with me tomorrow so I can at least prove I'm not crazy to my friends.
Prince Lotor: Say, that sounds like a swell idea. We can show everyone the true spirit of Christmas.
Lance: Yeh, we'll show them!

[Downtown Voltron Park]
Sky Marshall Graham: Okay people, we've got to turn this place around. Take down anything that is offensive to any specific group.
Ivanova: Is mistletoe offensive?
Sky Marshall Graham: Is anyone offended by mistletoe?

{One loser raises his hand.}
Sky Marshall Graham: Lose the mistletoe.

[Bus Stop]
Keith: You guys, I'm getting that John Elway football helmet for Christmas.
Hunk: How do you know?
Keith: Cause I looked in my parents closet last night.
Hunk: Yeh, well I sneaked around Nannys closet too, and saw what I'm getting. The Ultra-Vibe Pleasure 3000.
Keith: What's that?
Hunk: I don't know, but it sounds pretty sweet. and the box said chicks dig it

{Lance walks up.}
Lance: Hello everybody.
Pidge: What's in the box dude?
Lance: It's a surprise.
Hunk: Let me see!
Lance: Oh, okay, but, but don't scare him.
Keith: Dude! Sick!
Hunk: Is this some kind of a smartass tradition?!?
Svenny: That is the sickest thing I've ever fuckin' seen.
Lance: Wait, you guys, he's alive.
Keith: Lance, I think you better get home and get some sleep.
Lance: Come on! Dance! Dance!!! God Damn You!

[Voltron Park Research Center]
Nerd: Now this is very simple. I'm going to say words and the computer will measure how offended you are by them. In this way we can find out which words are least offensive for use in the holiday season. Are we ready? Here we go. Christ.

{Two persons lights go off.}
Nerd: Hmm. Okay, chair.

{Nothing happens.}
Nerd: Hmm. Camel.

{One persons lights go off.}
Nerd: Hmm. Sand.

{Nothing happens.}
Nerd: Stupid wop dago.

{Everybody's lights go off.}
Nerd: Huh, bench.

[Voltron Park Academy]
Koran: Ohh, do you have to take the Christmas tree too?
Worker: Sky Marshall's orders.
Koran: Okay children, I'm really having a hard time with our Christmas play. The new law states we can't sing any songs having to do with Jesus or Santa Claus.
Hunk: Thanks to Lance's mother.
Lance: Shut up Hunk!
Koran: So does anybody know any non-Santa or non-Jesus Christmas songs?

{Hunk raises his hand.}
Hunk: How about we sing "Lance's Mom is a Stupid Bitch, in D-minor?"
Lance: I told you not to call my mom a bitch Hunk!
Hunk: Oh ho! [Signing]Wellll, Lance's mom's a bitch! She a big fat bitch! She's the biggest bitch In the whole wide world! She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls!
Lance: Shut up Hunk!
Prince Lotor: Howdy ho!
Lance: Prince Lotor.
Hunk: On Monday she's a bitch! On Tuesday she's a bitch! And Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch! Then on Sunday just to be different she's a super kinkamayamaya be-atch!
Prince Lotor: Golly, that isn't very nice! I'd sure like to teach him a lesson!
Hunk: Have you ever met my friend Lance's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a mean ole bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch! She's a stupid bitch. Lance's mom's a bitch and smells a dirty too. Lance's mom, is a bitchhhhahhh.
Prince Lotor: AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR.
Lance: Prince Lotor, no.
Prince Lotor: Ahhhh!

{Prince Lotor dives at Hunk, hitting him in the face.}

[Splat]
Koran: What the?!?

[Gasp]
Hunk: Gross Lance!
Koran: Oh my lord Lance! Did you just throw doodoo at Hunk?!?
Lance: Uhhhh.
Hunk: You sick bastard!!

[Laughter]

[Maribella's Office]
Maribella: Now, uh, Lance, as your school soothsayer, uh, I want to try and help you confront your problem, darling.
Lance: I don't have a problem!
Maribella: Well, it, it's my understanding that you, uh, mm, you have an acute case of fecalphilia.
Lance: What's that?
Maribella: Well, uh, a fecalphiliac is somebody who's obsessed with mookie stinks, Lance.
Lance: Mookie stinks?
Maribella: Now I also understand that you're a smartass, is that right Lance?
Lance: Well, not on purpose!
Maribella: So this must be a pretty hard time of year for you, being Christmas and all. Do the other kids make fun of you?
Lance: Well, sometimes.
Maribella: And that must make you mad.
Lance: Well, sure.
Maribella: Mad enough to KILL, Lance?

[Dramatic Music]
Lance: No dude!
Maribella: Oh, that's good. You see Lance, sometimes we feel like an outsider, we, we create friends, okay, in our minds, darling.
Lance: But Prince Lotor seems so real.
Maribella: Well of course he does. In, in your screwed up little head, he's the only friend you have.

{She takes a sip of her coffee.}

{Prince Lotor appears in her coffee, only Lance sees him.}
Prince Lotor: Lance. Howdy ho!
Maribella: Right now you're nuttier than chinese chicken salad, okay. I mean, you're one screwed up little kid, do you understand?

{She takes another sip.}
Prince Lotor: [Singing]Santa's loaded up his sleigh soon he'll be on his merry way...
Maribella: So try and stay positive, stay away from drugs and alcohol, and in the meantime, I'm going to put you on a heavy regimen of Prozac?

{She takes another sip, this time noticing a turd in her coffee.}
Maribella: Uhh, oh my God, you sick little monkey!

[Auditorium]
Koran: Okay children, we've just received word from the mayor that the Christmas play can't include any Christmas lights, since they offend people with epilepsy.
Kids: Uhhh.
Koran: So, Svenny, would you please go over and pull the light cords out of the wall?

[Dramatic Music]
Koran: Careful now Svenny. Those are very, very dangerous.

{Svenny succesfully unplugs the lights.}
Koran: Ok, now let's practice our....
Maribella: No, get away from me!
Lance: Here, just look more closely at it.
Maribella: No, go away! Keith, you need to do something about friend, darling. Get him out of here before he hurts anybody, darling.

[Voltron Park Mental Hospital]
Keith: Hello, we need to commit our friend Lance, please.
Receptionist: Reason.
Lance: I'm a clincally depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac.
Receptionist: Any allergies?
Lance: No.
Receptionist: Jacket!

{Two goons come out and strap Lance in.}
Goons: Jacket, jacket, come with me .....
Hunk: Bye Lance, Ya Happy smartass.

[Auditorium]
Koran: Ok children, does everybody have their leotards on?
Townsman: Good, it looks like they've taken the Christmas trees down.
Townswoman: Yes, and there's nothing Christian either. This should be great.
Lance's mom: Oh, this could be such a wonderful Christmas play. I wish our little Lance were here to see it.

[Voltron Park Mental Hospital]

{Lance is in a padded cell.}
Lance: rubber chicken rubber chicken rubber chicken I made you out of rubber, rubber chicken rubber chicken rubber chicken, with rubber chicken I will play, second verse same as the first, rubber chicken rubber chicken rubber chicken I made you....

[Auditorium]
Announcer: Welcome to the Voltron Park Academy Holiday....
Townsman: Wait, wait, there's a star above the stage; that's very offensive to non-Christians.
Ivanova: Oh, come on....
Townsman: Hey! Don't push your beliefs on me lady.
Ivanova: Whoooaa! Wait a minute, did you just call me lady? Towsman: Yes. Ivanova: I assure you, I am NO lady. I AM THE RIGHT HAND OF VENGENCE! AND THE BOOT THAT IS GOING TO KIVK YOUR SORRY ASS ALL THE WAY BACK TO POLLUX. SWEETHEART... I AM DEATH INCARNATED! AND THE LAST LIVING THIS THAT YOU ARE EVER GOING TO SEE... GOD SENT ME!
{Ivanova pulls her PPG and kills the Polluxian }
[Crowd cheers]
General Lefcourt: [Back on topic] I agree.
Koran: Oh brother. Svenny, would you please climb that ladder and take down the star above the stage? And be careful not to fall in that little pool below you Svenny, the shark for the third act is in there.

{Shot of shark swimming in the tank.}
Svenny: Huh?!?

[Dramatic Music]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Voltron Park Academy Holiday Experience. Before we bring out the kiddies for the play, here's a non-offensive, non-denominational holiday song by the school chef, and ruler of planet Arus.

{Throughout King Alfor's song Svenny is on the ladder trying to get the star down.}
King Alfor: I'm gonna lay you down by the yule log, I'm gonna love you right. Baby I'm gonna deck your halls and silent your night. You'll hear the hair of angels sing when I'm sliding off your bra. I just can't wait to jingle your bells and fa la la your love. You can break my heart if that means we can make love, cause if we don't....
Keith: Wish Lance was here, it just doesn't seem right without him.
Hunk: Well, ole Lance's gonna be locked up for a while, so get used to it.
Koran: Okay kids, get ready to take your places.

[Cheering]
Announcer: Thank you King Alfor.

Svenny has successfully retrieved the star.
Svenny: Whew.
Announcer: And now, Voltron Park Academy presents The Happy Non-Offensive, Non-Denominational Christmas Play, with music and lyrics by New York minimalist composer Philip Glass.

{The kids are in green leotards dancing about strangely.}
Philip: As I turn and look into the sun, the rays burn my eyes. (happy, happy, happy, everybody's happy). How like a turtle the sun looks....
Lance's mom: What the hell is this?!?
Music: (happy)
Lance's mom: This is horrible!
Priest: This is the most godawful piece of crap I've ever seen.
Koran: Hey, you're the ones who made it this way.
Priest: Yeh, it's because the smartasses said it couldn't be Christian.
Lance's dad: It wasn't our idea to take out Santa Claus.
Tree Hugger: All you bastards ruined Christmas!
Ivanova: Get him in the ribs!
Priest: Ooooh.
Townsman: Damn treehugger!
Keith: This sucks dude. This is like the worst Christmas I've ever seen.
Allura: Yehhh.

[Screaming]
King Alfor: Say, where's Lance?
Keith: We committed him.
King Alfor: What? Why?
Hunk: Cause, he kept on seeing this little brown piece of Christmas poo everywhere that he went.
King Alfor: Christmas poo? You, you mean Prince Lotor.
Keith: Huh? Uh oh.

{Lance's mom takes out Lance's dad with a chair shot.}

{The fighting continues.}

[[This is a live action commercial for Prince Lotor.]]
Mom: Say kids, why the long faces?
Brother: We're bored.
Sister: There's nothing to do.
Mom: Well, maybe this will help.
Sister: Yeahhh!
Brother: Prince Lotor Construction set.

[Music starts]
Announcer: That's right kids, now you can make your very own Prince Lotor. Just use this special Fecal Fishing Net and select your best Prince Lotor.
{Sister points into the toilet}
Sister: That one!
Announcer: Then use the hand-crafted Lotor stand to add whatever eyes, mouth and hats you want.
Prince Lotor: Howdy ho!
Brother: I made a Mariachi Prince Lotor.
Sister: Now it's a Mrs. Lotor.
Brother: Let's put the fez hat on him.
Sister: I wish daddy was still alive.

[Music stops]
Announcer: Prince Lotor play set comes with everything seen here.
Mom: Hey, where's Prince Lotor.

{Shot of baby eating what was Prince Lotor.}
Music: [Singing]Prince Lotor Play Set.

[Laughter]
Mom: I love you sweetheart.
Sister: I love you too.

{{{Back to Voltron Park}}}
[Auditorium]

{The fighting continues.}
Keith: This is horrible, everybody's fighting and my best friend's in an institution, all because we didn't believe in Prince Lotor.
King Alfor: Well, you can believe in him now.

[Screaming]
Keith: I believe.

[Music starts]
Allura: I believe in Prince Lotor.
Pidge: Me too!

Prince Lotor jumps out of a box on stage
Prince Lotor: Howdy Ho!
Keith: Huh?!?
Prince Lotor: Say folks, gosh you sure do smell all nice and flowery.
Keith: Whoa.
Prince Lotor: Howdy ho King Alfor.
King Alfor: Howdy ho Prince Lotor.
Hunk: Ok, that does it, screw you guys I'm going home. Talking poo is where I draw the line.
Prince Lotor: What's all the ruckus?
King Alfor: I'm glad you're here Prince Lotor, the whole town is about to kill each other.
Prince Lotor: I reckon this could be a job for, Prince Lotor.

{The fighting continues.}
[Whistle]
Prince Lotor: Stop fightin'!
Sky Marshall Graham: Oh my God!! What the hell is that thing?!?
Prince Lotor: Come on gang, don't fight. You people focus so hard on the things wrong with Christmas that you've forgotten what's so right about it. Don't you see, this is the one time of year we're supposed to forget all the bad stuff. Stop worryin' and being sad the state of the world, and for just one day say "ahh, the heck with it, let's sing and dance, and bake cookies."

{Lance's father begins clapping}
Lance's dad: Yeh.

{Soon the whole crowd is clapping and cheering.}
Keith: Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.

[Lance's Padded Cell]
Lance: I'm a smartass, a lonely smartass.
Prince Lotor: Howdy ho Lance!
Lance: Oh no! I'm not sane yet.
Prince Lotor: I brought some friends with me.
Lance: Friends?

[Outside the Mental Hospital]
Crowd: Merry Christmas Lance!
Lance: You mean you can see him?!? I'm not crazy?!?

{Lance is let out of his cell and runs outside to join the crowd.} Crowd: [Singing]Prince Lotor the Christmas poo, he loves me, I love you, therefore vicariously he loves you, even if you're a smartass.
Townsman: [Singing]Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny, he can be brown or greenish-brown. But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve, he might come to your town.
Crowd: Prince Lotor the Christmas poo, he loves me, I love you, he loves you!
Prince Lotor: Well, I've got a long night ahead of me. Bye and Merry Christmas!
Hunk: Goodbye Prince Lotor. Bring me lots of presents, I always believed in you.
Santa: Howdy ho ho ho!
Keith: You know, I learned something today. I learned that smartass people are okay, and that smartasses can be okay.
Lance: Yeh.
Keith: You know, it seems like something is still not right.
Hunk: Yeh, something feels...unfinished. Pidge: Well, what could it be?

The End appears on the screen.
Svenny: Woohoohoo.

[fin]



[On the set of Jesus and Pals]
Jesus: Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me.

Jesus blows out the candles.

[Really, fin]