Episode 17: Hunk's mom is a dirty slut
[Bus Stop]
Keith: Dude, the Transport'll be here any minute, and Hunk didn't show up for school.
Lance: Yeah, this is like the third day in a row. I wonder what's wrong.
Svenny: Mrmph or something like that.
[Laughter]
Lance: Yeah.
Keith: Hey, maybe we should ditch school and go check on him.
The school Transport pulls up.
The bitchy Transport driver: Come on, we're running late!
Keith: We're not getting on you fat ugly bitch.
The bitchy Transport driver: What did you say?!?
Keith: I said, "We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch."
The bitchy Transport driver: Oh, alright then.
The Transport pulls away.
Pidge: Whoa dude!
Keith: I always wondered if that would work.
[Hunk's House on Planet Arus]
[Ding Dong]
Hunk's mom answers the door.
Hunk's mom: Hello boys.
Lance: Hi, we were wondering why fatass, I mean Hunk, hasn't been showing up for school.
Hunk's mom: Oh, he's just been feeling under the weather. Maybe you boys can cheer him up. He's in the back yard.
Keith: In the back yard?
[Hunk's Backyard]
Hunk is sitting at a table in the back yard.
He is having a tea party with stuffed animals and dolls.
Hunk: Would you like some more tea, Polly Prissypants?
Hunk[As Polly Prissypants]:Yes Hunk, I would love some tea, thank you.
Hunk: You're very welcome Polly Prissypants.
Lance, Keith, Pidge and Svenny stand back and watch the following unfold.
Hunk: Would you like some tea Clyde Frog?
Hunk[As Clyde Frog]:Yes please, Hunk. Why are you so cool?
Hunk: Oh, I don't know Clyde Frog, I just am.
Hunk[As Polly Prissypants]:You are so strong, and smart, and everybody likes you.
Hunk: Why thank you Polly Prissypants, how nice of you.
Keith: Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here.
Svenny: Mrmrmph I've ever seen.
Lance: Come on, let's go make fun of him.
Keith: No, dude, this looks really serious. I think we better get help.
Pidge: Really?
Hunk[As Peter Panda]:I like you Hunk, you are the coolest guy in the world. This is tremendous tea.
Hunk: Why thank you Peter Panda. It's a distinctive Earl Gray.
Hunk[As Polly Prissypants]:Hunk is the best.
Hunk[As Clyde Frog]:Hooray for Hunk.
Hunk[As Peter Panda]:Hunk kicks ass.
[Academy Soothsayer's officer]
A poster behind the scamps has a father and son together.
The caption reads, "Father & Son Day is coming!"
Lance: Maribella, somethings really wrong with Hunk.
Maribella:Oh, well, there's a news flash.
Keith: No, no, we saw him having a tea party with his stuffed animals.
Lance: Yeah, he was doing there voices, and pouring tea for them.
There is a poster behind Maribella.
The caption of this poster reads, "Dads are dandy."
Maribella:Oh, okay. Hunk is obviously suffering from some kind of emotional distress, darling?
Keith: What do you mean?
Another poster is behind Maribella.
The caption of this poster reads, "If you don't have a dad you're a bastard."
Maribella:Have you boys noticed anything recently that troubled Hunk?
Keith: No.
Maribella:Well, obviously something is bothering him, okay? Oh, of course, my video camera. Boys, if you could video tape Hunk's behaviour, then I can study him psychologically, and find out what's wrong, darling?
Keith: Is that legal?
Maribella: Oh, hell yes.
[Hunk's Backyard]
Hunk: My goodness, that is a lovely dress you are wearing, Polly Prissypants.
Hunk[As Polly Prissypants]:Oh, thank you Hunk, you are a perfect gentleman. And you are smart and kewl.
Hunk[As Peter Panda]:Yes, Hunk, you are strong and smart and cool. Everybody likes you very much.
Hunk: That's nice Peter Panda.
Keith: Dude, this is gonna be the funniest tape ever made.
Lance: How much do you think Maribella needs?
Keith: I don't know, just keep rolling.
Hunk: More tea Rumpletumskin?
Hunk[As Rumpletumskin]:Yes please, Hunk. You are tough and handsome.
Hunk: Thank you Rumpletumskin, and what do you think about me Clyde Frog?
Hunk[As Clyde Frog]:I think you're a big fat piece of crap.
[Silence]
Hunk: Ay!
[Hunk's Dining Room]
Hunk is chowing down.
Blue Cat comes to the table.
Blue Cat:Meow.
Hunk: No Blue Cat, this is my corned-beef cabbage.
Blue Cat:Meow.
Hunk: No Blue Cat, that's a bad Blue Cat!
Blue Cat:Hiss!
Hunk's mom: How is your beefy-roast, snookums?
Hunk: Mom, can I ask you a question?
Hunk's mom: Sure hon.
Hunk: You know how my friend Keith has, like, a dad?
Hunk's mom: Uh huh.
Hunk: And my friend Lance has a dad. And my friend Svenny has a dad. And even though Pidge was adopted, he has a dad.
Hunk's mom: Yes?
[Silence]
The "camera" pans between Hunk and his mom repeatedly.
Hunk's mom: Well, what's your question hon?
Hunk: [Pounding on the table]God damn it! Do I have a dad?!?
Hunk's mom: Oh.
Hunk: I want to know where I came from.
Hunk's mom: Oh, hmm, well, you see Hunk, sometimes when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, they want to be close to each other.
Hunk: Uh huh.
Hunk's mom: And sometimes the man puts his hoo-hoo-dilly in the woman's cha-cha.
[Silence]
Hunk and Blue Cat stare blankly.
Hunk: So who put his hoo-hoo-dilly in your cha-cha?
Hunk's mom: Hunk, the day I met your father, it was like magic. It was a beautiful autumn night, when the aspen trees were turning, at the twelfth annual Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance.
[Flashback to the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance]
There's a lot of whoopin' and hollarin' and carrying on, like it's a party.
Hunk's mom: I was young and naive then.
Svenny's dad:Wow, I've never seen a woman drink that much. You're amazing ma'am!
Hunk's mom: Oh, heck, I haven't even started yet. Hehe. I baked cookies, would anybody like one?
Mr. Garibaldi:I wouldn't mind getting a hold of your cookies, ma'am.
Hunk's mom: Well, go right ahead, Mr. Garibaldi.
Garibaldi takes a cookie and munches it down.
Mr. Garibaldi:Mmmm, that's a good cookie!
Captain Sheridan:Come on everybody, let's do the Drunken Hanger Bay party Dance.
Everybody starts a dancin' and a yellin' and a whoopin' and havin' fun.
Hunk's mom: And then, I saw him. He was the most beautiful, charming piece of ass I'd ever seen in Voltron Park. His name was Ambassador Londo Mollari.
Music:There, you are, like a throbbing star, I want you to make love, to me.
[Back to Reality]
Hunk's mom: I don't recall exactly how the rest of the night went, but the next morning I was pregnant with you. My little blueberry muffin.
Hunk: So where is Ambassador Londo Molla... I mean, dad, now?
Hunk's mom: Well, I never saw him after that, I wasn't really that interested in him.
Hunk: That isn't a very romantic story mom.
Hunk's mom: I heard he stills lives on Centauri Prime just outside of this star system.
Hunk: Wow, to think all this time I actually a Centauri.
Blue Cat:Meow.
Hunk: No Blue Cat, that's a bad Blue Cat!!!!
[Pidge's House]
TV Announcer:Coming this Sunday, a major television event that will blow you away. Rebutt. Zooter. In the harrowing made for TV drama, 'InterStellar Gas.' Based on a true story.
Rebutt:Hey Zooter, I have to find the Crapium 40 before the Marsies do.
Zooter:Then I'm going to go with you Rebutt.
[Fart]
[Laughter]
TV Announcer:See Earth's hottest stars in the ISN Movie of the Week.
Keith: Wow, kick ass dude. We have to remember to tape "InterStellar Gas" next week.
Pidge: Yeah dude. It looks riveting.
TV Announcer:Now a word from our spons...
[Click]
Roseanne:Here in the heart of Africa...
Pidge: Come on Grandpa, we want to watch Rebutt & Zooter.
Grandpa:No Billy, we're gonna watch the Bob Saget Show.
Pidge, Keith,Lance: Ahh.
TV Announcer:And now back to "Galaxy's Stupidest Home Videos," here's your host, Bob Saget.
Bob:Hey, I just flew into the studio, boy are my arms tired. Hehehe.
Grandpa:Hehehe.
Bob:Why, why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Cause he didn't have the guts. Hehehe.
Grandpa:Hehehe.
Bob:Knock Knock.
[Silence]
Bob:Bob.
[Silence]
Bob:Bob Saget. Hehehehehe.
[Laughter]
Pidge's grandpa falls over laughing.
Keith: This guy sucks.
[Ding Dong]
Lance: Yeah, he's almost as bad as that guy on "Full House."
Pidge answers the door.
Pidge: Hunk? What the hell are you doing dressed like a Centauri with your hair like that and a Fertilization god necklace?
Hunk: Ah, You humans. Pidge, the Fertilization god is very important to my people.
Pidge: What?
[Laughter]
Hunk: Hey, the human's have mocked my people long enough. You keep your God damn mouth shut, before the Great Maker strikes you down.
[Silence]
Hunk: Pidge, I need to borrow your space ship to fly over to Centauri Prime.
Pidge: What are you talking about Chunk?
Hunk: My name isn't Chunk , it's Hunk Mollari. Now, can I borrow your ship, or do I have to kick you in the nuts and steal it?
Pidge: Go ahead dude.
Hunk leaves.
Pidge closes the door behind him.
Lance: Man, Hunk's more screwed up that I thought.
Keith: Yeah, we better get this video tape over to Maribella quick.
Bob:Just a friendly reminder to all of you out there, send us your stupidest home videos, the grand prize this month will be for ten thousand dollars. Hehehe.
Grandpa:Ten thousand dollars! Holy smokes!
Lance: Wow! I wish we had a stupidest home video.
[Gasp]
Everybody looks to the tape in Keith's hands.
[Centauri Prime]
Emperor Londo Mollari: And then the Allies of the Shadows unleashed their holy fire upon....
Centauri Maiden: You Majesty, there is some kid here to see you.
Emperor Londo Mollari: Eh? What kid?
Centauri Maiden: He claims to be your kid.
Hunk: Hi Dad!
Emperor Londo Mollari:Who the hell are you?
Hunk: I'm your son Hunk, my mom says you put your hoo-hoo-dilly in her cha-cha at the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance.
Emperor Londo Mollari:Your mother?
Hunk: DeeAnn.
Emperor Londo Mollari: DeeAnn? Ho ho ho, oh boy, I was worried there for a second. Look kid, I'm not your father.
Hunk: [Desperately]But my mom says you're the guy she was with.
Emperor Londo Mollari:Kid, I hate to break this to you, but your mother is what we Centauri refer to as "Computer, with wide disk drive."
Hunk: What do you mean?
Emperor Londo Mollari: She is, "Space station, who cannot keep docking bay closed."
Hunk: Heh?
Emperor Londo Mollari:Your mom's a slut.
Hunk: Ay!
Emperor Londo Mollari:Don't feel too bad, your mom was just too drunk to remember what happened. Let me tell you.
[Flashback to the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance]
Emperor Londo Mollari:We got tired of dancing, so we went off to find a private spot.
Mollari and Hunk's mom find a spot of hay.
Music:There you are....
Emperor Londo Mollari:I knew that she wanted me because she kept saying romantic things.
Hunk's mom: Oh Ambassador, I want your hot man-chowder.
Ambassador Londo Mollari:Whoa, hello!
Some random passerby vomits precariously close to the couple.
Hunk's mom: Wait! Wait! Who is that?
[Funky Music]
Hunk's mom has spotted King Alfor.
Music:There, you are, like a throbbing star.
Hunk's mom: Ambassador, could you excuse me for a minute?
Ambassador Londo Mollari: Huh? You gotta be kidding me!
Hunk's mom: Why hello there, I don't think I've seen you around before.
King Alfor:No, I'm new in this town.
Hunk's mom: Well, what's a nice, handsome, Arussian man like yourself doing in a pit like Voltron Park?
King Alfor:I rule this planet.
Hunk's mom: My, how exciting. Would you care to...put your tongue in my mouth?
King Alfor:Damn baby, you cut right to the chase, don't you?
Hunk's mom: Hehe, I'm plastered.
King Alfor and Hunk's mom start playing tongue wars.
[Back to Reality]
Hunk: His tongue? King Alfor? King Alfor is my dad?
Emperor Londo Mollari:He's the last person I saw with your mom that night.
Hunk: Oh my God, I'm an Arussian.
[Bus Stop]
Svenny is trying to start a go-kart.
Keith: Come on Svenny, get the go-kart going. I want to ride it.
Pidge: Did you send the video tape to "America's Stupidest Home Videos?"
Keith: Yeah, I mailed it last night. What sucks is that now we'll actually have to watch that Bob Saget guy if we won.
Lance: If we win, we can buy a new go-kart that actually runs.
Keith: Shh, here comes Hunk.
[Thick Bass]
Hunk arrives wearing a jogging outfit, House Party wig and a big gold PIE on his hand.
Hunk: 'Sup homies.
Keith: Hunk?
Hunk: I was just down at the Castle of Kitties kicking it with some G's on the West Si-ede, eh.
Lance: You live on the East Side, Hunk.
Keith: Dude, I thought you said you were a Centauri.
Hunk: Bah, who, hehe, who, ha, right. Like I'm some hippie Centauri.
[Silence]
Hunk: You know what I'm sayin', G. Check it out, I'm gonna go chill with my, my dad.
Hunk moonwalks away.
Keith: Dude, we should be video taping this, we could make another ten thousand dollars.
Svenny gets the go-kart started.
The go-kart starts dragging Svenny down the street.
Svenny is screaming in pain and desperation.
Keith, Lance, Pidge: Hold on Svenny!
Svenny is dragged through a few pine trees.
Svenny is flung onto some train tracks.
Svenny waves to Lance, Pidge and Keith.
Svenny: No, I'm okay guys.
Lance, Pidge, and Keith wave to Svenny.
Svenny: What a fucking....
A train quickly eradicates Svenny before he can finish.
Keith: Oh my God, they killed Svenny!
Lance: You Bastards!
[Alfor's coffin]
[Thick Bass]
[Knock knock]
King Alfor:Hello?
Hunk: Yo Pops.
King Alfor: Boy, what the fudge are you doing?
Hunk: You know, just, layin' down some rhymes for G-folk. You know what I'm sayin'?
King Alfor:Get in here!
King Alfor drags Hunk into the house.
Hunk: West si-ede, eh.
King Alfor:Take that wig off!
King Alfor strips the wig from Hunk's head.
King Alfor:What's gotten into you?!?
Hunk: You're my dad King Alfor. Emperor Londo Mollari said you got together with my mom at the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance.
King Alfor:What? No. Uh, did I?
Hunk: He said you kissed her with your tongue.
King Alfor:Ohhhohoho, that's different. Women don't get pregnant from tongue kissin' children.
Hunk: Uh, so you're not my dad?
King Alfor:Of course not. Here, you children sit down, and let me explain something to you about where babies come from. Then you'll see why I can't be your dad. [Singing]When a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man, (actually, sometimes a man doesn't love the woman, but he acts like he does in order to get some action, hehe), the magic starts to happen, and the two take off their clothes, that's right, they caress and touch each other until the part of the man grows. Ooohhh, they roll around and now things are really start to gettin' hot. And the man say "I love you," and the woman says, "wait a second, I got to go to the bathroom." So you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait.
[Pause]
King Alfor:[Singing]And you wait and you wait and you wait. You wait and you're coolin' down, she's still going to the bathroom. Finally she comes back, and she says, "baby I'm getting hot." And that's when you've got to jug her butt and pump her full of ....
Hunk: What!?! Who the hell did that to my mom at the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance!?!?
King Alfor:Oh children, that was a long time ago. But I'll tell you what I remember.
[Flashback to the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance]
King Alfor and Hunk's mom are getting down to business.
Hunk's mom: Whoa King Alfor, you're so strong.
Captain Sheridan:Hey everybody, look who's here. The DD Champion Doom Devestators.
Drule:Are we late for the party?
Drule:What the hell town is this?
Drules:Hutt hutt hutt hutt hutt.
Hunk's mom sees the Drules.
Music:There, you are, like a throbbing star, I want....
Hunk's mom: Ohhh! King Alfor! Ohh! King Alfor!
King Alfor:Damn woman, what's gotten into you?!?
Hunk's mom: Oh! Whoopee!
King Alfor gets off of Hunk's mom.
An arm appears from under Hunk's mom.
Koran gets out of the hay.
King Alfor: Koran! What the hell are you doing?!?
Koran:You're drunk Nanny!
Music:There, you are....
King Alfor:Aww, man. I'm outta here.
Hunk's mom: Come on King Alfor, haven't you ever heard of a manage o three.
King Alfor: Yeah, when two women are involved.
Koran:Damn! Damn! Damn! Oh well, I guess it'll just have to be you and me Hunk's mom.
Koran and Hunk's mom start getting busy on the hay.
Koran:Oh.
[Back in Reality]
King Alfor:And that's who she was with last. Koran.
Hunk: No. Noooooo! No, God, no!!!!!
[Keith's House]
TV Announcer:And now back to "America's Stupidest Home Videos."
Bob:Here's a video sent to us that shows a very disturbed little boy.
Hunk: Why thank you Polly Prissypants, you are my best friend.
Hunk[As Polly Prissypants]:I think you are one of the coolest people in the world Hunk, and you are not fat at all.
[Laughter]
Hunk: Really, you don't think so.
Hunk[As Peter Panda]:No, you're not fat. Cool, that's cool.
[Laughter]
Keith's mom:Oh, Keith, we just heard the news that your little friend Svenny was killed by a train this morning.
Keith: Huh? Oh yeah.
Keith's dad:Is there, uh, anything we can do for you son?
Keith: How about some ice cream?
Lance: Yeah, with butterscotch!
Keith's mom:You bet, you poor dears.
Bob:Now the moment you've all been waiting for, when one of our lucky videos qualifies for the ten thousand dollar grand prize to be chosen tomorrow night. The winner is: "Little boy's tea party."
Lance: Woohoo.
Keith: Oh yes. We're in the finals.
Pidge: We're gonna win ten thousand dollars.
Keith: Man, Hunk's gonna be famous.
[Voltron Park Bar]
Koran:Well, I guess we should go Nanny.
Nanny:Oh, just one more Cosmopolitan Koran.
Koran:Nanny, you need to admit you have a drinking problem. Another Cosmo please.
Hunk wanders into the bar.
Hunk: All this time. Why didn't you tell me, father?
Koran:What the hell are you talking about Hunk?
Hunk: It was you, all along, you were with my mother the night of the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance.
Koran:[Gasp]Oh.
President Sheridan: Koran, that's impossible, he's gay.
Koran:I am not gay!
Hunk: Then you did sleep with my mom?!?
Koran:No!!
President Sheridan:He's gay!!
Koran:Ok, ok! I admit it. I might have made love to your mother at the Drunken Hanger Bay Party & Dance, but who here didn't?
The camera shows pans around the bar.
[Gasp]
[Silence]
Koran:Now come on, honestly. Who here has never had sex with Hunk's mom?
[Miscellaneous chatter]
King Zarkon:Ohh.
Sky Marshall Graham: Mmmm.
[Miscellaneous chatter]
Valen and Jesus look a bit concerned, for themselves.
Halfie:I haven't.
Koran:You don't count Halfie, you don't have any legs.
Halfie:Oh. Yeah.
Koran:So you see Hunk, anyone here could be your father. I'm afraid you're never going to know.
Hunk looks down, dejected.
President Sheridan:Don't feel too bad there kid. I never knew who my father was either. I mean, I did know who he was, and well, we had some great times together and hunting and fishing, we. Well, hell you know what I mean.
Hunk walk away dejectedly.
Hunk gets to the door.
Everyone looks as though they feel sorry for Hunk.
Josh Prikryl:Wait, wait! I know a way to find out!
Hunk: How?!?
Josh Prikryl:At my studio, we can do Lightwave DNA genetic testing. I'll take some of your blood, along with the blood of everyone here, stick it under a Lightwave cannon and we can determine who your father is.
Hunk: Really, you can?!?
Josh Prikryl:Yes, of course. I mean, that much testing will cost a pretty penny, but....
Hunk: How much?
Josh Prikryl:Three thousand should cover it.
Hunk: I don't have three thousand dollars!
Josh Prikryl:Oh, nevermind.
Josh Prikryl turns around to the bar.
[Bus Stop]
Keith: Dude, I can't wait to win that ten thousand dollars on "America's Stupidest Home Videos." I'm gonna buy the coolest go-kart ever.
Lance: I'm gonna buy a Walkman with my half.
Hunk: Hey guys.
Keith: How's it going Hunk?
Hunk: Oh, fine. How are you guys?
Lance, Pidge and Keith look at each other.
[Silence]
Lance: Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?
Hunk: Oh, nothing. It's just. Nothing.
Pidge: Come on, what's the matter Hunk?
Hunk: Well, I want to know who my dad is, but, to find out, they have to do these Lightwave DNA tests, and that costs three thousand dollars, and I, I don't have three thousand dollars.
Keith: Wow, we're sorry your mom's a whore dude.
Hunk: Yeah, it sucks. I have to know who my father is, I just have to. Maybe I could work at a sweatshop for a while, or.... Well, see you guys. I'm gonna go play in my back yard for a while.
Lance: Uh. Hunk. We know how you can get three thousand dollars.
Hunk: [Brightly]You do?!?
Keith: Yeh, we have a video tape that's in the finals for "America's Stupidest Home Videos" and, and if we win, we'll give you three thousand of or ten thousand dollar prize.
Hunk: You will!?! Wow! You guys are the best! Thanks you guys!
Keith: Uh, yeh.
[Hunk's House]
TV Announcer:And now, back to "America's Stupidest Home Videos."
Hunk: What kind of video did you guys make?
Keith: Uh, you'll see.
Bob:Well, it's time to crown the ten thousand dollar winner. Our judges have narrowed it down to only three videos. First, it's "Dog who puts hat on master's head."
Bob[As the little dog]:Oh, I'm a little dog, I'm just a little dog, ohho. Oh, but I've gotta put a hat on my master's head. Hehehe.
[Laughter]
Bob:And now, our second finalist, "Little Boy Has A Tea Party."
Hunk: Why thank you Polly Prissypants, you are my best friend.
Hunk[As Polly Prissypants]:Oh, thank you Hunk.
[Laughter]
Bob:Boy, looks like this kid needs some therapy. Hehehehe.
Keith: [Trying to head Hunk off]We're sure to win Hunk, then you get your Lightwave DNA money.
Hunk: I-am-so-pissed-off-right=nowwww!
Lance: They laughed hardest at our video, we're gonna win! We're gonna win!
Bob:And finally, our third contestant, "Young Child Gets Hit By A Train."
Bob[As Svenny]:Oh, I'm such a cute little kid. Hmm, I wonder if I can get this go-kart started.
Tape of Svenny being dragged about and cast upon the train tracks.
Bob[As Svenny]:Oh, I hope I don't get hit by a train.
Svenny is hit by the train.
Bob[As Svenny]:Oh, I sure did.
[Laughter]
Keith: Oh my God, they video taped killing Svenny.
Lance: You bastards!
Bob:Now that's what I call a joy ride. Hehehe.
[Laughter]
Bob:And the winner is, naturally, "Little Boy Being Hit By A Train."
Keith: Dude, we lost.
Lance: Damn it!
Hunk: I-am-going-to-fucking-kill-you-guys-seriously!
Bob:Stand up and take a bow Mr. Marsh.
Grandpa:I won! I won!
Pidge: Grandpa!
Bob:Our other finalists will have to settle for their three thousand dollar runner-up prizes. Well, see you next time.
Lance: Did you hear that dude? We still get three thousand dollars. That's enough for you to do your Lightwave DNA tests.
Hunk: Kill-you-guys--Kill-you-guys!
[NetterPark Digital Studios]
Josh Prikryl:Alright, from everyone's accounts, I've narrowed down Hunk's possible father to the people in this room. Mr. Garibaldi, King Alfor, President Sheridan, Koran, Dr. Flanklin, Yurak, Emperor Londo Mollari, Sky Marshall Graham, King Zarkon, Cossack, myself, my friend Parker, or, the 2259 Drule Devestators.
Keith: Wow, I always knew Hunk's mom was a slut, but, God damn!
Josh Prikryl:The tests results are in this envelope. Shall I, open it.
Koran:Yes, for God's sake, get on with it!
[Mumbling]
Josh Prikryl:The father of Hunk Hunk is indeed someone in this room. The father is....
TV Announcer:Who is Hunk Hunk's father? Is it Emperor Mollari? Or is it King Alfor? Is it Josh Prikryl, or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Koran?
President Sheridan:Nope, he's gay.
Koran:You go to hell, you go to hell and you die!
TV Announcer:Is it President Sheridan?
Delenn: JOHN!
President Sheridan:Dahh!
TV Announcer: Or is it Mr. Garibaldi?
Mr. Garibaldi:Huh? Where?
TV Announcer:Or could it be King Zarkon?
King Zarkon:Could be.
TV Announcer:Or Mr. Alexander?
Lance: Dad, how could you?!?
TV Announcer:Or is it the 2259 Drule Devestators?
[Pause]
TV Announcer:The answer is coming in an all new season of Voltron Park, in just four weeks.
Hunk: What?!? Awwww Son of a Bitch!