Episode 20

Episode 20: ChickenPox

[Hells Pass Hospital]
Dr. Franklin: It's a good thing we got her to the hospital in time.
Keith's mom: What's wrong with her?
Dr. Franklin: It's chickenpox. There seems to be a small epidemic going around. Your friend never had the chickenpox as a little girl I take it?
Keith's mom: No, no, she's been perfectly healthy.
Dr. Franklin: Well that's the problem. See chickenpox is pretty normal thing with young children. As you get older it becomes a more and more ferocious disease.
Keith comes into the room
Keith's mom: Monica, looks who's come to visit you? My little boy Keith.
Monica: [Sarcastically] Oh whoopee!
Dr. Franklin: You know, most people don't realize chickenpox is actually a form of herpes.
Keith: Dude you got herpes on your face!
Monica: Shut up brat!
Keith's mom: Will my friend be ok?
Dr. Franklin: She'll be fine.
Keith bothers Monica
Monica: Stop it!
Dr. Franklin: We just want to be cautious and monitor her here.
Monica beats Keith up
Keith's mom: Come on Keith, give Aunt Lewinski a kiss, and then we have to go.
Keith: Screw you! I know where that mouth has been. And she has herpes on her face!
Monica: Fuck off you little bastard!

[Lance's House]
Lance's, Keith's, Pidge's and Hunk's moms are all having a meeting
Keith's mom: And then the Dr. Franklin said that it's much worse as you get older. My friend is in pretty bad shape now, but if she were in her 30s, she could die!
Lance's mom: My god, I never knew the chickenpox was such a dangerous illness!
Hunk's mom: I guess it's much better to get it when you're young.
Keith's mom: So tell me if I'm crazy but I started thinking that we should intentionally have our boys play with a child who has the chickenpox. Let them get it now while they're young.
Lance's mom: That's not crazy at all Elizabeth. Mothers do it all the time.
Hunk's mom: Ooh yes, when I was a child my mother had me go over to a little girl's house who had the chickenpox, just so I would get it.
Keith's mom: So it's not such a crazy idea after all.
Pidge's mom: No no no! And I'm pretty sure that strange little boy Svenny has the chickenpox right now.
Keith, Lance, Pidge and Hunk approach
Lance: Are you guys having a meeting or something?
Lance's mom: How would you boys like to have a slumber party at your little friend Svenny's House tonight?
Hunk: No way dude, Svenny's family is poor. They live in the ghetto!
Lance: Yeah, let's just have a slumber party here.
Keith's mom: Boys, you're going to sleep over at Svenny's and that's final.
Hunk: Oh weak!

[Outside]
The boys are walking over to Svenny's house
Pidge: I wonder why our moms wanted us to sleep over at Svenny's so bad.
Keith: Yeah, it's pretty weird.
Lance: All I can say is they better have atleast Nintendo 128.

[Near Svenny's House]
Lance: Well here's Svenny's house.
Hunk: [Starts singing] In the ghetto...on the cold and grey Chicago morning, my little favorite child is born in the ghetto....in the ghetto....
They knock on the door
Svenny's Dad opens it
Svenny's dad: Ja?
Keith: We're here to have a slumber party with Svenny.
Svenny's Dad: vhat? Don't yew know dat Svenny's is a sick with de.....
Svenny's Mom: That's the whole point, remember? Their moms want them to catch it while they're young.
Svenny's Dad: Oh ja.
Keith: Catch what?
Svenny's Mom: Nothing...come on in. I was just making dinner.

[Inside of Svenny's House]
Hunk: [Continues to Sing] ....and his mama cries...cause if it's .....another bit of hunger for my two feet in the ghetto....in the ghetto...
Keith: Shhh! Hunk!
Hunk: What?
Svenny's Mom: Svenny! Your little friends are here! Come play with them!
Svenny: But mom I'm fucking sick!
Svenny's Mom: I know you're sick, now get your buns out here!
Pidge: Heh heh heh..buns.
Svenny comes into the room
Svenny: Hey you guys, what's going on?
Keith: Whoa dude! You got herpes on your face too!
Hunk: Where is the Ninendo 128?
Svenny's Dad: We don't have a Nintendo 128. We got an Atari plugged into the black and white TV.
{A rat runs by}
Lance: Oh my god. This is like a third world planet.
Svenny's Mom: Throw your sleeping bags in Svenny's room and then go grab some dinner.
Hunk: Oh good I'm starving.

[At the dinner table]
Svenny's Mom: Let's say grace.
Svenny's Dad: Lord....we thank you for this staggering payload of frozen waffles that you have bestowed upon us. And since we have been faithful to you, we know that you will send us some good fortune one of these days, even though you sure as hell seem to be taking your sweet time. Amen.
Everyone else: Amen.
Svenny's Mom: Ok, let's dig in.
She puts in a waffle in the toaster
Svenny's Brother: That one's mine! That one's mine!
Hunk: What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying this evening with our frozen waffles?
[Silence]
Hunk: Am I to understand there will be no side dishes?
Svenny's Dad: So Lance, yer dad still bringin home dose big fat Military commander paychecks?
Lance: I don't know.
Svenny's Mom: Hans don't even get started.
Hans: Vhat, I am a just asking a question. Yew know yer dad and I used to be best friends vhen ve ver teenagers. We even verked together at de Pizza Shack. But he got permoted, went off to join the military, and I didn't. And you know why? Cause yer dad's a Smartass!
Hunk: Heh. I heard that.
Svenny's Mom: That ain't why Hans! It's because you're an alcoholic retard, and he had dreams of not eating frozen waffles for dinner every night!!
Hans: Hey, is it my fault yew don't know how to cook?
Svenny's Mom: What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles clamhead? You put em in the toaster, you cook em!
Hans: Yew just don't know how to use spices and stuff.
{Waffle pops up}
Hans Jr.: My waffle's done, my waffle's done!
Svenny's mom: Now Hans Jr., we ain't go enough for everybody. You have to split that with your brother.
Hunk: Oh geezes, are you fucking killing me?
Hans: Hey! Ve don't say fuck at da table yew little asshole!
Hunk: Yeah, we apparently don't say sidedishes either.
Svenny sneezes on his plate
Svenny's Mom: Svenny honey, if you're gonna sneeze, sneeze on them.
Pidge: Huh?
Svenny sneezes on Hunk
Hunk: Ay!

[Svenny's Bedroom]
Hunk: Man your family sucks ass Svenny. Whoever heard of frozen waffles for dinner?
Lance: Come on, let's just get in our sleeping bags and get this night overwith.
Keith unrolls his Rebutt and Zooter Sleeping bag
Lance unrolls his R&Z sleeping bag
Hunk unrolls his Bill Clinton sleeping bag
Lance: Hunk, what the hell is that?
Hunk: It's my Clinton sleeping bag. Isn't it kewl?
Lance: No it's not cool! It looks like a cow with all those white spot patterns.
Keith: Dude, I think I just saw a rat.
Hunk: Ah! You have rats in your house too Svenny?
Svenny: Uh huh.
Hunk: Dude seriously, you better stop being so poor or else I'm gonna start hocking rocks at ya.
Pidge: I don't think it's very healthy to sleep with rats.
Svenny: I don't think we have rats since we put the fucking celing in.
Keith: Oh.
They all go to sleep
Svenny claps his hands and the light turns off
Svenny sneezes

[Keith's House]
Keith's mom: Ok let me see. Oh goody you've got a fever!
Keith: Goody? What do you mean goody?
Keith's mom: Yep, it looks like you've got chickenpox alright.
Keith: Oh no I must've caught it from Svenny last night.
Keith's mom: Oh gee I guess you did.
Keith: Well you sure seem happy about it.
Keith's mom: Alright, it's off to bed with you young man.

[Hunk's House]
Hunk's itching himself
Hunk's mom: Don't scratch it hon.
Hunk: But mom seriously it itches, I can't stand it!!
Hunk's mom: No hon.
Hunk: Mom seriously!!!
Hunk's mom: I got you some calamine lotion.
Hunk: I don't wanna.
Hunk's mom: It'll make your itches go away.
She puts some on his face, and he likes it
Hunk: Ay give me that!
Hunk puts it all over his face and sighs with relief
Hunk's mom: Not too much hon. It says on the bottle that too much can be bad.
Hunk: More calamine lotion!

[Pidge's House]
Pidge: AHHHHHHH It itches!
Pidge's mom: Looks like you got the chickenpox dear.
Pidge: What!?! Ahhh Crap!
Pidge's mom: Don't worry, I'll get you some anti-itch cream.
Pidge's mom rummages through the medicine cabinent and grabs a tube of Preperation H.
Pidge's mom: Here you go hun.
[Pidge's mom takes a great glob and starts rubbing down Pidge's face]
Pidge: GOD! What the hell is this stuff? It smell's like ass!
Pidge's mom: Whoops! Looks like I grabbed your grandfather's Preperation H instead of the Anti-Itch cream.
Pidge: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

[Lance's House]
Lance's mom: I don't understand it, he's perfectly healthy.
Lance: Yeah, I feel great.
Lance's mom: Are you sure you stayed over at Svenny's house.
Lance: Yeah dude. I told you we had bread sandwiches for breakfast.
Lance's mom: Did you sleep in the same room?
Lance: Yes, why?
Lance's mom: Bobie, how would you like to spend the night at your friend Svenny's house again?
Lance: No way dude, it sucked ass. They didn't even have cable.
Lance's mom: Well I think you need to spend more time with your friends.
Lance: Svenny's not really my friend ma. I don't give a rat's ass about him.
Lance's mom: I'm gonna give Svenny's mom a call.
Lance: Aww....hey dad, is it true that you and Svenny's dad used to be best friends when you were young?
Gerald: Who Hans? Yeah yeah, I guess we were.
Lance: Well how come Svenny's family eats frozen waffles for dinner and has rats on the floor, while we have a big house and lots of food?
Gerald: Well because Svenny's family doesn't have as much money as we do.
Lance: But why? If they're hungry and poor, why don't we just give them half of our food?
Gerald: Ha hah ha ha ha!Boy have you got a lot to learn. Sit down son. You see Lance, we humans work as a society. In order for a society to thrive we need gods and clods.
Lance: Gods and clods?
Gerald: Yes, you see I spent a lot of time going to military school, and I was able to go because I have a slightly higher intelect than others. But I still need people to pump my gas, and make my french fries, and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down.
Lance: Ooh I see. Gods and clods.
Gerald: That's right, so Svenny's family is happy just the way they are. And we're all a functioning part of Arus.

[Keith's House]
Keith is lying in bed looking very sick
Keith's mom: Keith, can I get you anything else? Keith? Oh my god. Zachary! Zachary, hurry he's burning up!

[Hells Pass Hospital]
Keith's mom: Don't you worry Keith, you're going to be ok.
Dr. Franklin: Can I talk to you outside?
Keith's mom: Keith, daddy and I are gonna be right back ok?
Keith: Ok.
Monica: Serves you right you little brat.
Keith: At least I'm not gonna die from it like you might! Hehehe!
Monica: If I die from this I'm taking you with me!
TV: Will Carol find out she's a....
Keith: I don't wanna watch this. I wanna watch Rebutt and Zooter.
Monica: We're watching this.
Keith: Well I've got the remote bitch! Hahaha!
TV Zooter: Say Rebutt would you check my ass for abnormalities?
Rebutt: Sure thing Zooter.
Zooter farts on Rebutt's head
Rebutt: Ahahah! You got me again!
Keith laughs
Zooter: That's tom foolery.
Keith laughs again
Monica: Give me the remote.
Keith: No way dude. We're gonna watch Rebutt and Philllip all day.
Monica presses a button and Keith in smushed inside his bed, and she gets the remote
Keith: [In a muffled voice] Get me outta here!

[Outside their room]
Dr. Franklin: He'll be ok. But it's a good idea for us to monitor him for a while.
Keith's mom: Oh god, what have we done?
Dr. Franklin: There there now, it's not your fault.
Zachary: Dr. Franklin, we purposely sent our son to stay with a friend who had chickenpox so that he would get it early.
Dr. Franklin: Ooh wow you did? Wow, you guys suck.

[Svenny's House]
Lance: Can we go home now mom?
Lance's mom: No bubla, you play with Svenny some more.
Lance: But we've been playing for 8 hours! We can't think of anything else to do.
Lance's mom: I've got a great game for you! It's called Ookie-Mouth.
Lance: What's ooki-mouth?
Lance's mom: First you let Svenny spit in your mouth. Then you try to swallow his spit and try to say ooki-mouth at the same time.
Lance: Sick dude!
Lance's mom: No no bobie, it's loads of fun. Try it!
Svenny and Lance leave the room
Lance's mom: That outta take care of it.
Svenny's mom: You want some more hot water?
Lance's mom: Oh no thank you, it's terrific though! You don't have any tea bags or coffee grounds to go in the tea bags do you?
Svenny's mom: Ah, we don't care for that hoidy, toydi, rich folks stuff.
Lance's mom: I see, well you certainly have humble home.
Svenny's mom: Yeah well unfortunately my husband is a washed up hunk of shit!
Lance's mom: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
In the background Lance is heard saying ookie mouth and Svenny is hear spitting
Lance: [In background] Gross! I can't do it ma!
Lance's mom: Try again bobie!
Svenny is heard spitting and Lance screams
Lance's mom: You know your husband and mine used to work together as teenagers.
Svenny's mom: Oh they was best friends. You couldn't separate em.
Lance's mom: Really? I met Gerald in college,so I didn't know. What happened to them?
Svenny's mom: Oh they just grew apart I guess. I think Hans is a little jealous that your husband got out of making pizzas and went on to make something of hisself.
Lance's mom: Well that's too bad. I'm sure your husband is a fine man.
Svenny's mom: Oh hell no. He's a nothin of deer turd.
Lance's mom: You say they were such good friends, it's silly they don't even talk anymore. Let's get them together.
Svenny's mom: I don't know.
Lance's mom: We'll just arrange a little fishing trip for them or something.
Lance and Svenny come back into the room, Lance has spit all over his face
Lance: I can't say ookie mouth and have Svenny spit down my throat at the same time. It's impossible.
Lance's mom: Practice makes perfect bobie.

[Hunk's House]
Hunk: Where's that calamine lotion?
Rebutt and Zooter are shown on TV
Rebutt: Zooter, I got good news and bad news.
Zooter: Give it to me straight Rebutt.
Rebutt: The good news is you have a clean pail of health.
Zooter: Oh what a relief!
Rebutt: The bad news is you have Ass cancer.
Zooter: Cancer!
Rebutt: Yes, I'm afraid your ass is collapsing.
Zooter: My ass is collapsing!
Rebutt: See this X-Ray? That's your ass. See that line? That's your ass collapsing. Your ass is collapsing!
Zooter: Does this mean I won't be able to fart anymore?
Rebutt: I'm affraid so.
R&Z laugh
Hunk: Oh no!
Hunk looks shocked
Blue Cat comes along
Blue Cat: Meow.
Hunk: No Blue Cat that's a....wait a minute. Come here Blue Cat.
Hunk scratches his face with the cat
Hunk's mom comes home
Hunk's mom: I'm back hon, I got some more calamine lotion.
Hunk: It's about friggin time! Give me that!
Hunk runs up the stairs
Hunk's mom: Just use a little bit of that stuff hon. It has to last a while.
Hunk runs into the bathroom, opens up all the bottles of the lotion, and pours them all into the bathtub. Then he strips and jumps into the tub with a sigh of relief
Hunk: Ooh yess....you guys seriosly now....ahhh....

[In Svenny's dad Truck]
Hans: I didn't know yew liked to fish Gerry.
Gerald: Oh yeah I love it. I haven't done it for a while though. I had to run out a buy a few things. A rod and a reel and a...a...
Hans: Tackle box?
Gerald: Yeah! Tackle box. Man, smell that mountain air. What a great Saturday morning. Aren't weekends just the best?
Hans: When yer uh unemployed, weekends are meaningless.
Gerald: Right, right right.

[Classroom]
Koran: And so children, that's how you tell a prostitute from a policeman. Now are there any questions? Yes Lance.
Lance: What the hell does that have to do with Arussian history?
Koran: That's a good question Lance. Are there any other questions?
Lance: Koran, I'm the only one here. Everyone else has chicken herpes.
Koran: Right, right. Well class, I'm gonna assign you all a paper. The theme of the paper will be, how I would make Arus better.
Lance: What? Does everybody have to do it or just me?
Koran: Don't worry Lance, I'm sending home word to all the children who are out sick. They'll have to turn in a paper too.

[Hells Pass Hospital]
Keith: Homework? But I'm in the hospital!
Keith's mom: Well your teacher sent this stuff over for you to do while you're sick.
Keith: That son of a bitch! What kind of sick weirdo is he!?
Keith's mom: Now Keith, I know at your age teachers can seem cold and heartless, but later you'll understand that he did this for your own good.
Keith: Not Koran ma, he really is a sick weirdo.
Zachary: Yeah, it's true, he is.
Keith's mom: Oh. Well anyway, here's a pencil and some paper.
Keith: Hey where're you going?
Zachary: We're going down to Happy Burger for some milkshakes.
Keith: Milkshakes?
Keith's mom: Yeah and then we're going to the movies!
Zachary: See ya son!
Keith: Weak!

[Lance's House]
Lance is sitting on the couch writing his paper
Lance: So this is how Arus works. We have gods and clods. My dad says Arus needs both rich and poor to survive, but I have a better idea.
Lance goes into the kitchen and overhears his mom's conversation on the phone

[Kitchen]
Lance's mom: No I don't understand it Dr.Franklin, he's perfectly healthy. He's been over at Svenny's house 3 days in a row, and still hasn't caught the chicken pox.
Lance: What?
Lance's mom: I don't know what else to do. We sent the other boys over and they all got sick, but I can't get my little Lance to catch it!
Lance: Oh my god!
Lance's mom: Lance! What are you doing there honey?
Lance: You!
Lance's mom: I'll call you back Dr. Franklin.
Lance: You!
Lance's mom: What bubala, what is it?
Lance: You sent us over to Svenny's house on purpose! You wanted us to get sick!
Lance's mom: Oy. It was for your own good Lance. I wanted you to get chickenpox while you were young.
Lance: Why? So I could be sitting in the hospital waiting to die like Keith!
Lance's mom: Now Lance, come here.
Lance: You get away from me you crazy woman!
Lance's mom: Oh boy.

[At Some Fishing Spot]
Hans: Beer?
Gerald: Oh no thanks, I brought my own. Microbrew sampler from Aspen. Has 6 different beers from local breweries. Say, remember the time we built the fort in your mom's back yard?
Hans: Heh heh huh ja. It took damned near 2 years to finish it.
Gerald: Ha ha. What ever happened to that old hunk of junk?
Hans: That's where I live now.
Gerald: O, right.

[Hells Pass Hospital]
Keith is writing
Keith: And so that's why Voltron: Defender of the Universe was the best show on Arus.
Lance runs into the room
Lance: Keith Keith!!
Keith: Shh! Wake her up and we're both dead.
Lance: You know how after we spent the night at Svenny's house, you, Pidge, and Hunk got sick with chickenpox?
Keith: Yeah.
Lance: Dude, our parents sent us over there to get us sick.
Keith: What are you talking about?
Lance: They knew that staying at Svenny's house would make us sick. And they made us do it anyway.
Keith: They did?
Lance: Yeah, and I think I figured out why.
Keith: Why?
Lance: Because they're a bunch of assholes.
Keith: Uh....of course!
Lance: Come on dude, we gotta get outta here. I don't know what they're planning next, but it can't be good.

[Hunk's Bathroom]
Hunk is writing his paper in his bathtub
Hunk: I hope that one day Arus can be more like Endor. Where the Ewats live. Endor is very.....
[Doorbell rings]
Hunk: Mom asnwer that! They have crazed Ewats and barbeques, which is why I like Endor more than Arus.
Svenny, Lance, Pidge and Keith enter the bathroom
Lance: Hunk, you remember how we all spent the night at Svenny's a couple of days ago?
Hunk: I remember frozen waffles with no sidedishes.
Keith: Hunk, our parents sent us over there to catch chickenpox from Svenny.
Lance: Yeah dude. Your mom wanted you to have herpes on your face.
Hunk: She what?
Keith: It's some kind of parental conspiracy. Our parents are trying to kill us or something.
Hunk: That bitch! I'm gonna go downstairs and kick her square in the nuts!!
Pidge: No no no no. Come on fatass, we're gonna get em all back.
Hunk: Pidge? Why do you smell like ass?

[Back at the fishing lake]
Gerald: Well I'm sure you'll find another job soon. Something will come along.
Hans: It's not dat easy. Yew were lucky.
Gerald: Now now, I wasn't lucky.
Hans: You had rich parents. You got to go to that expensive community college.
Gerald: Ay! I worked my ASS off to get to where I am today. I wanted to be somebody!
Hans: I wanted to be somebody to! I just wasn't born with a silver enima up my ass!
Gerald: You're just jealous! You're a bitter old drunk just like your father!
Hans punches him
Gerald: Ow!
Hans: Now don't yew make me do dat again.
Hans punches him again
Gerald: Ow!!! You son of a bitch!
They get in a fight, and Hans jumps on Gerald

[Hells Pass Hospital, Keith and Monica Lewinski's Room]
Zachary: Dr. Franklin?
Dr. Franklin: Yes.
Zachary: Where's Keith?
Dr. Franklin: Keith?
Zachary: Keith, our son.
Dr. Franklin: Oh yes, where's Keith.
Keith's mom: You mean Keith is missing?
Dr. Franklin: No no, he's not missing. We just, can't seem to find him at this moment.
Keith's mom: Oh my god, our son ran away!
Zachary: Will he be ok out of the hospital?
Dr. Franklin: Oh sure sure. But we have to get him back soon, if he doesn't get his antibiotic shot today, he could die.
Keith's mom: Die!?
Dr. Franklin: Yes die. It won't be an easy death either. The chickenpox will slowly move down his trachea into his lungs....
Zachary: Ok, well let's go look.
Dr. Franklin: ...as he chokes for breath, the pox will move through his inner ear into his brain making him think he's David Duchove...
Keith's mom: Ooh god no!
Zachary: I'm sure he couldn't have gone far.
Dr. Franklin: ...now moving on all fours and wheezing uncontrollably his cellular structure will regress in a deluctnous mass of....

[Lance's House]
Gerald opens the door looking all beat up
Lance's mom is sitting on the floor playing with Aurora
Lance's mom: So how was it? Did you boys have a good time fishing?
Gerald: That son of a bitch ripped my parka!
Lance's mom: Catch anything?
Gerald: I just don't get it. Why would he invite me fishing and turn into a complete bastard?
Lance's mom: Well darling I have to tell you something. He didn't invite you, I set the whole thing up.
Gerald: What? Now why the hell would you knowingly deceive me like that?
Lance's mom: I thought it would be good for you.
Gerald: Just like you deceived our son into going to Svenny's, and that didn't work either!
Lance's mom: I'm doing the best I can!
She runs out of the room
Gerald sits on the couch and starts reading Lance's paper
Lance's Paper: My final solution by Lance Alexander. My dad is the smartest guy in the whole wide world. He has taught me that all poor people are actually things called clods. I wanna live in a world of only gods, so my idea to make Arus better, is to put all poor people into camps.
Gerald: What?!?!
Lance's Paper: If we get rid of them, there will be nothing but rich people. And there won't be any hunger, poverty, or homeless people. Cause they'll all be dead. The end.
Gerald: Oh god, what have I done?

[King Alfor's coffin]
King Alfor is watching Rebutt and Zooter on TV
Zooter: What's happening here Rebutt?
Rebutt: We're doing and anal transplant, it's our only hope.
Zooter: Who's the doner?
Rebutt: I am Zooter. I am.
Zooter: Rebutt, you're giving up your ass for me?
Rebutt: Just half my ass. Can you believe it Zooter? Here we are best friends, and now we're going to share the same ass.
Knocking is heard
King Alfor: Oh damn it! Not now!
King Alfor opens the lid and sees Hunk, Keith, Pidge, and Lance
King Alfor: Damn it! Children, what are you doing here? Rebutt and Zooter are about to go into surgery!
Pidge: King Alfor, we wanna know about herpes.
King Alfor: What makes you think I would know anything about that?
Lance: I dunno, you're just the only grownup we trust.
Keith: How does someone get herpes?
King Alfor: Well you get by sharing things with someone who already has it. You have to be very careful around someone who has herpes.
Lance: You know anybody with herpes?
King Alfor: Well there's old Frita, down on main street. She has a mouthful of herpes. You need to stay away from her.
Keith: But what if we want to give somebody herpes?
King Alfor: Oh well then Frita's the right person to go to.
Lance: Cool!
Keith: Thanks King Alfor!
King Alfor: Ook!
He closes the door
King Alfor: Wait a minute. What the hell did I just do?

[On the streets]
Elizabeth and Zachary are driving in the transport looking for Keith
Keith's mom: Keith?
Zachary: Keith?
Keith's mom: Oh Keith where are you.
Zachary: Keith?
Keith's mom: Keith!
Meanwhile they drive right by the kids not seeing them

[Frita's House]
Lance: Are you old Frita?
Frita: Who wants to know?
Lance: Someone who has a favor.
Frita: Ten dollars I'll leg, five dollars a nut
Lance: Huh?
Hunk: We want you to give our parents herpes.
Frita: Five dollars.
Keith: My dad has five dollars on top of his dresser [cough]
Lance: Keith you sound pretty sick, maybe you should go back to the hospital.
Keith: And have Monica kick my ass? No thanks. Plus I want to get my parents back just as much as you do.

[Keith's House]
Frita brushes her teeth with Keith's parents' toothbrushes
She drinks milk, and then spits it back in

[Lance's House]
Frita wipes a fork under her arms, and puts on some of Lance's mom's lipstick

[Pidge's House]
Frita wipes her face on Pidge's dad's cell phone and Pidge's mom's eye lash plucker.

[Hunk's House]
Frita wipes Hunk's mother's panties on her face

[Keith's House]
Keith: Thanks a lot Frita!
Frita: [cough] Don't mention it.
She leaves
Lance: Dude this is gonna be so killer. They're all gonna get herpes.
Kids: Hooray!
Keith coughs
Parents enter
Zachary: Keith, where the hell have you been.
Keith's mom: Damn it Keith, you had us worried sick! You have to get back to the hospital for a shot!
Keith: I don't wanna go back there!
Zachary: Come on, we're taking you back to the hospital.
Zachary drags him out the door
Keith: Don't you guys feel like brushing your teeth first?
Zachary: What?
Keith: You know freshen up your breath.
Lance: Oh man, I don't feel so good.
Lance's mom: Oh good, maybe you finally caught the chicken....
Lance faints and falls on the floor
Lance's mom: {Gasp} Lance!

Is Lance okay? Find out in Part 2!