| Misao's Wish
By Miss Hideki Misao awoke with a start. “Holy mother of Ke Cho Kick,” she gasped, then realized that she was in her room, not battling a tiny Shishio Minion dressed in pink. She rubbed her eyes, coming back to reality. In a flash, she recalled the encounter with her Fairy God Mother. “Aoshi-sama,” she gasped, jumping out of her bed. She quickly fixed her hair and then ran out of her room. She spotted Omasu in the distance and ran up to her. “Have you seen Aoshi-sama?” she cried. She had to see him pronto. A million worries were swirling in her mind. What if it worked? What if it didn’t work? What if he had been injured in the process? What if he had been turned into a cicada? What if he had been turned into a woman? Oh the selections, oh the horror of it all!!!! “He’s in the temple with Kenshin,” she said, looking at her closely. “Dijobu, Misao-chan?” Misao momentarily forgot about her worries. “What’s Himura doing here?” Omasu shrugged. “He wanted to talk to Aoshi-sama. Are you sure you’re alright?” Misao nodded as she ran towards the temple. “I’m fine,” she called back. “Don’t worry about me.” By the time she had reached the temple, she was panting from have run so fast. She flung off her sandals and entered the temple.Pausing to catch her breath, she was startled when she heard a deep, throaty chuckle. “Aoshi-sama? No way,” she muttered and quickly walked towards the noise. In the inner chamber were Aoshi and Kenshin, sitting across from each other. Kenshin was the proud owner of a very dazed look, sporting a large sweatdrop beside his head. Aoshi, for his part, seemed to be in the midst of telling a fascinating tale. “And then I said to the man, scoundrel that he was, ‘My good man, you are a scoundrel. Yes, to be sure, a scoundrel in the deepest sense of the word’,” Aoshi related, gesturing wildly with his hands. “The man, that surly scoundrel, was agog. Simply agog. Positively agog. Of such an agogish quality that far surpasses any type of reason!!!” He began to chuckle. “And that my good friend, Himura, is a lot of agog for man to be known to have.” “Oro...” was all Kenshin could say. “And that isn’t even the half of it,” Aoshi announced, pausing to take a gulp of tea. He wiped his mouth with the back of his arm and began his riveting tale again. “As I was saying, this common scoundrel was agog at my accusation. He was simply unable to believe that anyone would have the presumption to accuse him of being a scoundrel. But I, Shinomori Aoshi, fear nothing. In fact it would be an acute observation on my behalf to say that Fear fears me. I laugh in the face of fear. Ha ha ha, that’s me laughing in the face of fear. The scoundrel obviously didn’t realize who he was dealing with because then he began to insult me and my mother. I was appalled at the language he used. Tsk tsk. It was shocking. Utterly shocking. I have never seen such a shocking display of shocking profanity in all my years! What if there had been children about? Think of the children, Himura, think of the children. WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Aoshi gasped and began to cry from the sheer emotion of it all. Kenshin managed a faint ‘Oro’ and looked stricken. Misao could not speak. There was a silence. Aoshi looked up and wiped his eyes. “Well, the scoundrel had thoroughly offended my sensibilities and I was not about to take anymore of his verbal abuse,” he continued as if nothing had happened. “Instead I said to that scoundrel, ‘You ought to be ashamed of that crass language. What on earth would your dear mother think? She’d certainly be spinning in her grave like a monkey gone bananas.’” He paused to laugh at the pun and then continued. “ ‘Your mouth should be washed out with soap. This kind of horrendous verbal desecration must stop. I simply will not tolerate such vulgar theatrics.’ I put my foot down and went right out and told that scoundrel the error of his ways. That’s the only thing one can do in such a situation, you realize.” Kenshin was aghast. “You didn’t use your Kaiten Kenbu Rokuren attack?” It was Aoshi’s turn to look agog. Not, perhaps as agog as the bad-mouthing scoundrel but still fairly agogish. “Violence?” he gasped. “You think that I would use violence to further illustrate my point? I, Shinomori Aoshi, never use violence. I am a good citizen. I obey all laws and would never, not in a hundred thousand million billion trillion zillion years, harm the physique of another. No upstanding citizen like myself would ever do such a thing. The very idea is at the height of absurdity. No, it is beyond absurdity. It is, I daresay preposterous. Simply preposterous. Me, use violence? Well, I never!” he scoffed. “You always use violence,” Kenshin contradicted, sweatdropping. “It WAS your goal to become the most powerful man in the world, afterall.” Aoshi scoffed some more and was about to launch into ANOTHER long winded speech, but Misao beat him to it. Misao had been watching Aoshi babble with a certain amount of shock. It was unbelievable that this man, chatting at warp speed was her Aoshi-sama. And not only had he been jabbering like it was going out of style, he also had smiled a number of times. And when he had started to cry about the children, Misao had been blown away. Aoshi never smiled yet alone actually cry. This whole ordeal bordered on crazy. It was really quite ridiculous and yet...this was what she had asked for. Her flying fairy had done it for her. She had made Aoshi-sama into a normal person! Well, a normal emotional chatterbox, but still fairly normal. She walked into the room. “Hi Aoshi-sama!!! Hi Himura!!!” she called brightly. “Why are you here, Himura?”Kenshin looked relieved. He opened his mouth but Aoshi beat him to it. “He is here to surmise with me about various topics dealing particularly with the diminishment of Makoto ShiShiO,” Aoshi announced. He eyed Misao. “If I may be so bold as to say, you look lovely today. Quite delightful. The height of beauty, really. Like a flower in the spring, although flowers in the summer possess a reasonable amount of beauty. But flowers bloom in the spring, although you have bloomed long ago. Yes to be sure, you are quite the looker.” Misao blushed. “Arigato, Aoshi-sama.” Kenshin felt ill in his stomach. He opened his mouth again to say something but thought better of it. Misao didn’t seem to notice that Aoshi had morphed into a...a...how would one describe it? Perhaps it was just him. Kaoru-dono must have hit him one time too many. “Oro...” he said and hastily left. Aoshi watched Kenshin leave. “I daresay, what’s gotten into that chap? He just left without saying a word. Not a single thing. No good-bye or anything even remotely close to that concept. Normally I would be taken aback by such blatant rudeness, but he obviously must have something on his mind. Yes, to be sure, something is afoot. I can only speculate at what it must be. It’s very fishy business, you realize, but I will certainly rise to the challenge. I always rise to the challenge, you know. I won’t let it be said that I, Shinomori Aoshi doesn’t rise to the challenge. And of course, it is common knowledge that I am quite the expert when it comes to dealing with cunning, sly dealings and shady characters. Yes, if anyone can figure out what is amiss with Himura, it would I, Shinomori Aoshi.” He stroked his chin thoughtfully as he began to “speculate” what it was that was “amiss with Himura.” Misao didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He was chatting at warp speed and showed no signs of stopping any time soon. And he was talking pure nonsense at that. It was a refreshing change from his usual moody, taciturn self....for about five minutes. She was starting to get a headache. What was he rambling about? Any fool could tell what was “amiss with Himura”. Any fool except him. “His personality has completely changed and he still doesn’t notice me,” Misao thought. “Well he did say that I was beautiful...or did he? Who could tell with all the rest of that senseless blathering.” An idea suddenly stuck Misao. “Well if he won’t make the first move, then I will. Then I’ll see if he really ‘rises to the challenge’,” she thought, snickering. Misao moved very close to Aoshi and pressed herself up against his buff side. He didn’t notice, so busy was he in trying to figure out what was awry with Kenshin. She sighed. He had turned into a moron. A clueless moron. But he was her clueless moron and she was determined. Cupping his face in her hands she whispered huskily, “Kiss me you fool.” Aoshi’s eyes widened. She brought her lips closer to his, about to smooch him silly. But the passionate interlude proved to be too much for the jabbering lover boy. He jerked away and fell on his back. Misao giggled and crawled towards him. She wasn’t going to let him get away. Aoshi, for his part was hastily scooting away, spouting gibberish all the way. “What is the meaning of this? I daresay, this isn’t proper. Not proper at all. This is a temple not a rowdy place for hanky panky.” He blushed as he scooted. “Really. I am shocked. Shocked and appalled. You’re being so forward and bold, Misao. I simply cannot believe that-“ Misao jumped upon him. He fell backwards and shrieked. She pinned down his arms. “I’ve got you now, Aoshi-sama,” she gloated. “What in the name of the Eighty-Seventh Preference...unhand me now you brazen-“ “Shut up, Aoshi,” Misao said and kissed him French style. *hee hee* Eight minutes later.... “I daresay,” Aoshi panted. “You executed that rather well. That thing with the tongue is scandalous, yet very arousing. Certainly-“ “What do you mean ‘rather well’?” Misao demanded, her heart racing. “Wasn’t that the best kiss you ever had?” “Well, it is common knowledge that I, Shinomori Aoshi, am an expert in the area of procreating. I have been known, back in the day, to send many a maiden to a swoon simply by-“ “Aoshi,” Misao growled, giving him the look of Death. “Er...I’ll continue that later,” he replied quickly. He pulled Misao into his arms and kissed her passionately. |