Author's Foreword: Just want to say that the gender identification will confuse the hell out of you. Why; because I'm just sadistic in that way. So, Ranma will be referred to as 'she' and Yuri will be referred to as 'he', well except for when they refer to each other. When they switch to their original forms, the opposite holds true.

Ranma 1/2 : Mistaken Identity
Chapter Three: That was Ranma, right?
Created by Long Ngo
Written by Murmur the Fallen

      "Come on, Akane, wake up," came a voice in the darkness. Akane's eyes fluttered as she struggled for consciousness. Suddenly, her slightly addled mind remembered what had caused her to faint. The struggle wasn't all that much of a struggle any longer.

      "That looks quite painful, Little Sister," Ranma (the real one. Sort of like watching a soap opera, ne?) said. Yuri would have replied, but a fist had caved in his face, so all that came out was a whistle of pain.

      "What is going on here?" Akane asked in a dangerous manner.

      "That's what I want to know. But Little Sister here wouldn't explain until you woke up. Now, please get your fist out of her nasal cavity. I imagine that it would make talking a lot easier," Akane glared at her, but she just smiled in return.

      "All right, Ranma, talk," Akane ordered Yuri, her voice tightly controlled.

      "Um, like I said, my name isn't Ranma, it's Yuri," he replied, slightly uncomfortable at correcting her.

      "Shut up and talk!"

      "Ok, ok. Man, what an kawaiikune tomboy," Yuri said, mostly out of habit.

      "Who are you calling 'kawaiikune'! I'm not the one that's been masquerading as a boy for all these months!" And out came the hammer again. It descended in a graceful parabolic arc, headed for Yuri's head. Yuri just sat there, as he always did, not even aware of it, but knowing it was coming. The hammer fell . . . and stopped. Ranma held the mallet in her hand, and wrenched it out of Akane's. Yuri and Akane blinked, not knowing what to say or do. No one had ever stopped the mallet before; it was sacrosanct in its running gag-ness.

      "Listen, as funny as a concussion is, I don't have the patience to wait for yet another person to wake up. So, save that oh so constructive anger for later. Now, Yuri-Chan, I think that you have an explanation for me?" Ranma said in a sardonic manner. She was waving the hammer in a manner that shouted 'I know how to use this so that you feel a lot of pain and you don't black out, so try me' in a very cold way.

       "Heh, can I first try to explain to Akane here? Please? Oh, ok, you first. Heh. Well, the cliff-notes version is; Pops wanted to engage you to a Tendo girl. When you ran off in China, he had already sent a note to Mr. Tendo saying that he was coming. So, he bribed me to masquerade as you, while he waited for you to come find him; occasionally sending out people to find and drag you to him. That's about it. Please don't punish me," Yuri begged, getting down on his knees, and all but genuflecting. Akane stared at him in shock. Ran err Yuri had always seemed to hold his pride above all else. For him to degrade himself so was disturbing, to say the least. That is until she noticed the soft glow coming from his hands.

      "WORLD SHAKING!" yelled Yuri as he shot out his trademark ki attack. The golden sphere of energy slammed into Ranma, forcing her on her back in a spray of light and kinetic energy. Yuri grabbed Akane and quickly jumped out of the window and leaped away, far, far away from his older brother. Ranma quickly sat up and brushed the small amount of dirt that had gathered on her clothes.

      "Clever little girl. I suppose that she did learn quite a bit. Oh well, time to give chase and all that," Ranma jumped out of the window, leaping after her sucker punching, (well, the equivalent thereof) sex-changing sibling.

      Yuri really wished that Akane wasn't so heavy. Oh, sure, it looked really cool to leap two stories high with a chick (it's interesting to note that even though Yuri was really a girl, she tended to think of other girls as 'chicks'. I suppose that this is what happens to deep cover agents as well) in your arms. Heroic and dashing and whatnot. But doing it with a girl that weighed more than twelve pounds was really hard work. Yuri briefly wondered how all those super-heroes did it. A nagging pounding on his head, which quickly became quite painful interrupted his musings. The pounding was not a headache (although one would developed from it later), but rather Akane, with her chibi-mallet, trying to get the attention of her unwanted savior.

      "Do you mind? I'm trying to run away, here," Yuri requested. Sweat was running quite freely down his face. Definitely much harder than the heroes made it seem.

      "What do you think you're doing, 'Ranma'?" Akane asked in an accusatory way, saying the last snidely.

      "Like I said, running away."

      "Oh-HO! I see. You're running away like the coward you are! And here I thought that you had honor! Of course, how honorable could you be if you lied to me, err, my family for so long!"

      "Right, you got it. Now do you mind if we don't talk anymore? I'm tired enough carrying you and jumping like this."

      "Are you trying to be funny?"

      "Yes. No. I don't know anymore. Look, we can have it out when we're not being chased anymore, ok? But first, make yourself useful and look behind me to see how far away Ranma is."

      "Fine," she spat out. She turned her head back towards the school. She didn't see Ranma and told Yuri so.

      "That's not good, definitely not good. Oh dear. Oh my."

      "Why isn't it good?" asked Akane, her anger shoved beneath her slight anxiety.

      "No reason, really. Just my paranoia working overtime. It's probably means that I hurt him enough for him to retreat <IHOPEIHOPEIHOPE>, and not that he decided that he's waiting for me to tire myself out so that he can catch me that much easier <DON'TTHINKABOUTIT>."

      "Oh."

      They went on in silence, with Akane occasionally casting a nervous look at her surroundings. When they arrived at home, Yuri collapsed on the doorstep, completely exhausted from his fear driven race against the specter of his brother. Akane looked at the crumpled pile of aquatransexual with a small amount of pity. What kind of brother would cause such fear in Ran- Yuri?

      Yuri revived himself somewhat and dragged himself to the stairs by his fingernails. Akane watched as he slowly, very slowly, pull himself up the stairs and to his room.

      "Need some help?" she asked sympathetically.

      "Ag-no. I'm -godthishurts- fine. Just have to -ohthat'sgoingtoburn- get to my room," he replied between curses and moans of pain.

      "Why?"

      "So that I can get my stuff and try to avoid my brother. I'm hoping that Pops will be enough and he'll leave me alone."

      "I can't believe how . . . craven you've gotten," Akane commented. "Even if you were just pretending to be a boy, you've always stood your ground. You've never run away like this before."

      "Listen, you don't know how Ranma is. He's pure evil."

      "Uh-huh. Besides, you're not leaving because I still want to talk to you."

Silence.

      "I deserve an explanation from you. For your lying and for, for everything!"

More silence, with a pause in there for good measure.

      "Well?" she said, clearly not liking how quiet and still Yuri was.

      "You're right. I . . . I'll stay. You deserve that, at the least," Yuri said quietly. His face reflecting the regret that he felt. Akane softened slightly.

      "Well . . . good."

      "For what it's worth, I'm sorry for lying to you."

      They sat there, silent in their own thoughts. Genma walked past and saw them, how close they were to each other. Part of him screamed in sorrow and another part leaped for joy. He decided that joy was much more preferable to sorrow, so he concentrated on that part.  "Well, I see that you two are getting closer!" he yelled in happiness. The more sane part of him recoiled from the other bits for that little statement.

      "Shut up, Pops," replied Yuri. Akane just stared at Genma with revulsion.

      "Talk to your father with respect, boy. Say, what are you two love-birds doing here so early?" Genma asked.

      "Oh, you know. Stuff," Yuri replied vaguely. Genma didn't particularly care about the reason, so after telling them to return to school, he went off to resolve his conflicted feelings with a bottle and a friend.

      "Say, why didn't you tell your father about Ranma?" asked Akane.

      "I wanted him to be surprised," answered Yuri glibly.

      "Oh. Say, how come you're so sure that Ranma will find you?"

      "Like I said, once Ranma has your trail, he doesn't let go for anything."

      They sat there, silent in their own thoughts. Then they decided that being in the open was a bad thing when they had a mad martial artist after them.

      The door slammed open. Ranma stood in the doorway, looking quite put out.

      "Damn. Well, that dramatic entrance was wasted. Oh well," she shrugged and went inside, looking for her sister.

      "Hello, can I help you?" asked Kasumi, stepping into the hall. She was used to people barging into her home with little or no warning. She considered it very bad manners, but supposed that martial artists had different standards and she really should be more tolerant. It was a mantra, really. Kasumi had the very definite notion that she would, however, slug the next person that leaped into the house and screamed for the blood of so and so. Tolerance only goes so far; usually just out the door for a calming drag, when the person being tolerated is a jerk.

      "Oh, hello. Um, I'm very sorry about the door," Ranma said, feeling a bit embarrassed about her entrance. Really, the Bishop had taught her better than that. Oh well, time to face the penalty, "I'll, err, p-p-pay for it."

      "Oh? That's very kind of you," replied Kasumi. And it was, really. After all, none of the other rampaging martial artist people paid for anything these days.

      "No trouble," Ranma replied with a slightly wry grin.

      "Now, how can I help you?"

      "Well, I was, err, following a boy and a girl and they came in here. I was wondering if you could show me where they are?"

       "Hmm, that would be Ranma and Akane. I don't know what they were doing here so early. Oh well. Anyway, I think that they left again. Probably back to school. I'm sorry that I couldn't help you any further," Kasumi said, feeling a little bad about lying, but not enough to actually tell the truth. It's not as if she was stupid, or couldn't see reality from fantasy. Too bad though, she seemed to be a very polite, if slightly homicidal, young woman.

      "Oh, thank you," Ranma replied, not wanting to let on that she knew that she was lying. But Yuri could wait. "I don't suppose you've seen a heavyset man with glasses, have you?"

      "Oh, you mean Mr. Saotome. Yes, I think that he and father are on the porch, playing Go. I can lead them to you, if you wish," Kasumi asked politely. She wanted to see Genma get pounded on a little; he really was a very rude and boring person.

      "Oh, no need. I can find him myself. Besides, he's looking forward to seeing me, and I can say the same about him," Ranma commented with a certain glee in her voice.

      "Oh. Well, have fun," Kasumi said.

      "Oh, I will. Heh, I will," said Ranma, wanting to go into a full maniacal guffaw, but settling for psychotic chuckling. She walked towards the porch, uttering to herself about various meals learned in China and screwing the WWF (that folks is the World Wildlife Federation. They use a panda as their symbol and mascot). Kasumi watched her go, hoping that the house doesn't get too damaged.

      Ranma walked into the porch area and sat down, helping herself to a shot of sake. She watched Soun and Genma cheat each other outrageously in Go. So absorbed in their game were they that they didn't even notice that they had an audience. After many minutes, she decided that manners be damned.

      "You know, that was a really bad move, Pops," she commented, hoping that would force Genma to acknowledge her.

      "Shut up, Ranma," Genma said absently, not taking his attention away from the board.

      "Sure, Pops. Let me just ask you a question," Ranma requested pleasantly.

      "Shoot," Genma said, again without paying any attention.

      "Why did you want me here when you already had Yuri?" Ranma asked sadistically. Genma slowly turned towards Ranma, his thoughts racing and filled with dread. He saw his son turned daughter with a small smile on her face and waving slightly.

      "Heh, hello, Ranma. How have you been, boy?" Genma asked nervously. He realized that he should have planned this a whole lot better. "Have any trouble getting here?"

      "Oh, you know, not much. The plane trip was a bit tiring, and the ninjas were coming down harder than the rain," she answered, very casually.

      "Heh, well, I'm glad that you're here. Now, I want you to meet a friend of mine. Tendo-kun, this is my son, Saotome Ranma. He's the one that I was telling you about," Genma said, as he gestured from Ranma to Soun. Genma hoped that moving the conversation along would confuse Ranma enough for him to not start blasting away. He was too old to get into that kind of a fight.

       "Pleased to meet you, Ranma my boy. Welcome to the family," Soun said blandly. Genma was a sinking ship and Soun was jumping off as quickly as possible. Now he had to find a way to blame all this on Genma. He was too old to get into that kind of a fight. "Say, Saotome-kun, wasn't that boy that you brought with you your son?"

      "T-Tendo-kun," Genma said plaintively, tears streaming down his cheeks. He then turned to his son turned daughter and pathetically clung to his feet. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME, SON! I WAS DOING IT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"

      Ranma stared at the crying heap of a father, embarrassed. She had forgotten how her father was when cornered.

      "Err, look, it's . . . well, not ok, but . . . err . . . could you stop that, please?" she stammered while trying to kick away Genma. It didn't work; if anything, he clung that much tightly. "Ah, gods, stop that, you're embarrassing me."

Author's after word: Yes, the attack that Yuri did was called 'World Shaking'.  No, that does not mean that Yuri is Sailor Uranus. I just put that in there because that's the type of person I am. Expect more referential and perhaps punnish attack names in the future.

To be continue :