Sketches of Tenchi 10: Survivor! Jurai Party Politics
A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE fanfic
by HKMiller
9 August 2001
Featuring characters created by Hiroki Hayashi and Masaki
Kajishima, also copyright AiC and Pioneer.
Incidental characters are from or inspired by other sources.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Tenchi!" Youshou, in his 'old' guise, walked into the house,
trying to ignore the young ladies following him wistfully. "I
have an important mission for you! You and your fiancees must
represent the Royal Family at the Star-Crossed Ball on Jurai next
week."
"What? Why do I have to go?" Tenchi replied in sudden panic.
"Attending such functions is a part of your education! This will
be good for you!"
"And are you and your fiancees going to this too?" Tenchi asked
drily.
Youshou coughed briefly. "No, my shrine duties prohibit leaving
Earth at this time. The young ladies are, of course, free to come
or go as they please."
"The Star-Crossed Ball? I haven't been for seven hundred years!
Everything's so pretty!" Sasami, smiling wistfully, clasped her
hands together in joy.
Tenchi looked at Aeka.
"Well, Tenchi-sama," ventured Aeka carefully, wringing her hands,
"while I would enjoy going very much, I do not think you will find
this affair very enjoyable."
"Surely it's not dangerous?"
"It's all those Juraian snobs, Tenchi. Most of them don't know
how to party; they're too busy looking for people they can snub!"
commented Ryouko, hugging Tenchi from behind. Ryouko smirked at
Aeka, who briefly scowled back.
"I don't mind a little snobbery, if you guys all really want to
go," said Tenchi confidently.
"There'll be lots of Galaxy Policemen there, I just know it.
Maybe we'll see some people we know, Kiyone!" exclaimed Mihoshi,
jumping up and down in excitement.
"Mihoshi, calm down! I agree with Princess Aeka; Tenchi won't
like it."
Aeka wrung her hands some more. "Well, you see, Tenchi, I am
terribly afraid for you. This ball is one of the social and
diplomatic highlights of the year on Jurai. And, you see, on
Jurai, most lobbying and intrigue are conducted at social
occasions such as this. This affair will mark the height of the
politicking for the most prestigious appointed post on Jurai: the
Chair of the Royal Deportment Department."
Tenchi wrinkled his brow. For some reason, the relevance of
this escaped him. "Um... so what? That doesn't sound so bad."
"Such positions are fiercely contested, Tenchi-sama, by the
various factions, clans, alliances, and partys in Juraian
public life. So you see, this particular affair will be
unusually fraught with intrigue, lobbying, innuendo, gossip,
and downright skullduggery. And then there are all the aliens."
"Ah...." Tenchi pondered. It still made no sense to him.
"Could I have that again, please?"
"Certainly, Tenchi-dono!" Washuu, now clad in her professor's
gown and hat, gestured grandly. Schooldesks appeared under
everyone; holographic charts and graphs appeared behind her.
"Most of the spacefaring cultures in this galaxy, Tenchi-dono,
provide enormous amounts of idle time to the bulk of their
citizens, due to advanced industrial automation. The main
differentiator between cultures is the purpose to which this
idle time is put. On Kiyone's home planet, as you know, most
people are into their careers, often pursuing advancement in
one or another of the galaxy-wide bureaucracies. On Mihoshi's
home planet, most people go to the beach."
Tenchi nodded. "I understand that part well enough."
"But on Jurai, the major occupation of the hundred million nobles
is to compete socially, seeking advancement in ranking, or simple
momentary advantage in contests over status and prestige. The
major occupation of the hundred billion non-nobles in the Empire
is to spy upon, follow the doings of, and vote for favorites
among, the nobles."
Tenchi momentarily was at a loss. This didn't seem anything like
the way the Japanese royal family was treated. Then he remembered
some things he'd read about the British.
"Now about the aliens. The territory of Jurai is concentrated at
the outer edge of this arm of the galaxy; it borders very few
other galactic states. Also, Jurai has enjoyed unchallenged
military supremacy for many millenia. The combination of these
factors has caused Jurai to become a neutral ground for every
other political unit in the galaxy. Long-standing Juraian policy
allows other races to spy upon or do anything they want to each
other on Juraian territory, specifically during Juraian high-class
social affairs, so long as Juraians themselves are left
untouched."
Tenchi now looked slightly surprised. "Oh... kay..., I think
I get that part. But what does all this mean to us? Why
should this mean I wouldn't enjoy this ball?"
Kiyone replied, "Princess Aeka is right, Tenchi. You'll hate it
and you'll feel very out of place. Everyone you meet will have an
ulterior motive for conversing with you. They'll expect you to
have political opinions which they'll try to change. Most of this
will be harmless, but some may cause serious embarrassment to you
or to the Jurai Royal Family."
"And what happens if I embarrass myself? Is it important? How am
I supposed to act?"
"Ah, don't worry about it, Tenchi," replied Ryouko with a wink.
"You outrank 'em all anyway! Just have fun; I'm going to!"
Aeka hesitated a moment in thought. "I would not want to see you
embarrassed, Tenchi-sama. There are two simple rules to this:
take nothing seriously; and any misstatement on your part was a
deliberate red herring. Keep those in mind and you should be
fine."
"Yeah!" exclaimed Sasami. "Mommy Misaki says those over and
over!"
- - - - - - - - - -
A week later, Tenchi and his fiancees, all clad resplendently
in matching loose white kimonos trimmed in gold, made their
entrance at the top of the main staircase of the Grand Ballstadium
of Jurai, fashionably late. Ryouko tugged at her collar in
discomfort with her right hand as she clung to Tenchi's right
arm with her left. Aeka was on Tenchi's left arm with
Sasami to Aeka's left. Washuu stood to Ryouko's right
while Alielle clung alternately to Mihoshi and Kiyone in the
rear. Edward floated along horizontally above the rest of
Tenchi's party.
Tenchi looked across the main floor fifty meters below.
Hovering at various levels above it were a number of
almost-transparent surfaces, some stationary and some moving
slowly about. Here and there a waterfall fell from an upper
surface to a small lake surrounding a giant tree. Humanoids and
clearly alien beings mixed freely in the throng. "I never
imagined a mob this big. How many people are at this party?"
"Only the highest levels of the nobility are invited, of course,"
replied Aeka. "Usually about ten thousand of the guests are
non-Juraian citizens. The exact guest list is a closely guarded
secret."
Edward added, "Sixty thousand were invited. Ed has the list if
you want to see it."
"I make it sixty two thousand four hundred seven, including
us," noted Washuu as she waved a small device around in front of
her. "Reporters, gate-crashers, and assassins make up the
difference, I suppose."
Tenchi looked alarmed. Aeka immediately replied, "Assassins
rarely attack Juraians, Tenchi-sama; they're usually after
exiled ex-rulers from other galactic states. There's no danger."
"But what if an assassin is after the Emperor?"
"Oh, Father isn't here. Don't you remember what Youshou-oniisama
said? We represent the Royal family; we're the only ones here."
The doorman announced the party. "Prince Tenchi, Princess
Aeka, and Princess Sasami of Jurai! Ladies Mihoshi Kuramitsu;
Kiyone Makibi; Washuu Hakubi; Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky;
and Alielle."
A polite applause drifted up from the main party floor and down
from the closest minor floors.
"Oh yes, and the demon Ryouko."
Half of the applause abruptly stopped.
The doorman asked, out of the side of his mouth, "I trust that
Yuzuha is not expected to put in an appearance tonight?"
"We don't expect her," replied Tenchi smilingly.
"You can never tell about Tokimi, though," added Washuu, with a
twinkle in her eye.
The ballstadium's clear night sky seemed to dim momentarily.
Quite a few people had the momentary impression of an immensely
tall woman glaring down at Washuu before normal solidity returned.
As the party slowly descended the main staircase, Aeka
explained the layout of the party. "Food, drink, and light
intoxicants are spaced evenly across the main floor.
Non-intoxicating drinks are also served on the upper floors.
Party games and dancing are primarily on the upper floors.
Different dance floors have different kinds of music. Heavy
intoxicants are served against the wall to our right."
"That's where I'll be," interjected Ryouko.
Aeka glared briefly at Ryouko before continuing. "And the
scoreboards and media centers are on the wall farthest from us."
- - - - - - - - - -
Shortly after the group reached the floor, it started to break
up. Aeka and Sasami both noticed people they knew, and drifted
away in animated conversation. Ryouko teleported over to a
bar in the distance and slugged a huge reptilian guest with a
white feathered head-crest in the shoulder. The lizard-man turned
and greeted Ryouko with joy. Kiyone and Mihoshi spotted a group
of uniformed galaxy police and hurried over.
Tenchi felt a bit hungry. He headed over towards a large buffet
table, laden with... food, he supposed, trying to find something
appetizing to try.
"Ah, Tenchi," came Washuu's voice from behind him. "Grabbing some
munchies?" Washuu came up beside him. She reached out to grasp
some slimy, gray, wriggling worms, which she tossed into her
mouth. She belched appreciatively. "Glorms. Gotta love 'em."
"Edward loves piyokos!" The red-haired urchin, ignoring gravity,
soared past Tenchi and grabbed two brown oblong objects which
looked hard enough to break Tenchi's molars.
Tenchi finally saw something he thought he recognized; they
looked a bit like Swedish meatballs. He speared one with a
cocktail sword and popped it into his mouth. Washuu and Ed gave
him funny looks.
"You sure you like flarn?" asked Washuu dubiously. "I thought
only the Flubosians liked that stuff. And accompanying it
with a candy sword?"
"Edward hates flarn!"
Tenchi realized two things. The "meatball" consisted of chewy
gristle surrounded by a spicy mucus, and the "cocktail sword" was
edible. Sweet, in fact. Very sweet. Cloyingly sweet. Then
Tenchi bit down on a particularly hard bit of gristle, and a spurt
of intensely sour fluid squirted into the back of his mouth. His
eyes teared as he struggled to chew the remaining apparently-
indestructable gristle. Thick, acidic slime burned its way down
his throat. Tenchi looked around for something, anything, to
remove the taste.
Unseen by Tenchi, at the far end of the stadium an enlarged image
of the expression on his face flashed up on a screen.
Tenchi saw glasses of a pleasant green, bubbly drink nearby. He
grabbed one and started to chug it.
"Tenchi? Why are you drinking boiling tiigriin?" asked Washuu.
"Won't that burn your mouth?"
Tenchi broke out of his spastic coughing fit long enough to mutter
"Yes".
"MAMA!" shouted Ed, arms outstretched. Tenchi turned his head
and saw that, indeed, Yume was approaching.
"Washuu! I want to talk to you!" Yume gave Edward a hug, then
kept one arm around her as she advanced until she was face-to-face
with Washuu.
"I thought you might." Washuu smirked. "I've noticed that
quite a bit of Edward's design seems very familiar."
"Okay, so I copied here and there from Ryouko's design, great
minds think alike and all that, and you didn't have any patents on
her anyway, but about those power sources..." Soon the two
genius scientists and the hacker drifted away, deep in a
discussion in which Tenchi knew better than to pretend interest.
Tenchi, alone in the middle of the biggest party he'd ever
seen, sighed.
"You don't mind if I tag along, do you, Tenchi? I don't know
anyone else here either." Alielle snickered. "And we higher-
dimensional beings oughta stick together."
Tenchi blinked. "Err... sure; I'll be happy to have company,
Alielle. If you're sure you wouldn't prefer other companionship?"
Alielle snickered and gestured at a nearby cluster of hovering
beauties. "No problem; you can introduce me when they get up
the nerve to approach you."
- - - - - - - - - -
"Ssssir, could you pleassse mediate our disssspute?" Tenchi
looked up. The speaker was a purple-skinned snake-man wearing
an elegant white robe. He was accompanied by a large walking
pine tree. "I am quite ssssure that the young Poodal over
there is really an Ambigonian spy; my colleague thinks she is
from the Phryllococan Alliance. Can you decide which of us
is correct? We have a small wager on the matter." The speaker
gestured towards a small furry creature of some sort, draped
over a woman's shoulders.
A slight sheen appeared on Tenchi's forehead.
Alielle answered first. "You both lose; it's really just a
Poodal," she said, grinning. "And besides, the Ambigonians
and Phryllococans just concluded an alliance ten minutes ago,
about five hundred meters east of us, so you'd either both
be right or both be wrong, right?"
The snake-man raised one eyebrow. "An alliance? Again? They
broke the last and went to war with each other just six months
ago."
Alielle grinned. "It's in response to the alliance the two of you
just agreed upon. They're attacking both of your governments
next."
Alarmed, both the snake-man and the pine tree scuttled off.
Tenchi turned to Alielle curiously. "How did you know all of
that?"
"Actually, I just made it up." Alielle grinned mischievously.
Tenchi started to get really nervous.
- - - - - - - - - -
"It MUST be true; one of the fiancees of Prince Tenchi himself
said so," the pine tree reported to his government.
"Is there any possibility of a mistake?" One voice on the other
end asked.
"We all know Jurai has the best intelligence in the galaxy; our
problem has always been that they never tell us anything. Now
they have. We have to act on it!" The pine tree replied.
"You're right. We'll issue the fleet mobilization command
immediately," came back through the comm channel.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi, with Alielle still attached, strolled towards the knot
where Aeka and Sasami were still chatting away. Aeka looked
up. Her brow momentarily clouded, then cleared when she
recognized exactly who was on Tenchi's arm.
"Better you than me, Tenchi-sama," Aeka whispered into Tenchi's
ear. She squeezed his free hand and blushed.
"How are you enjoying the party, Aeka?" asked Tenchi.
"Oh, it's just wonderful! I have seven hundred years of court
gossip to catch up on!" Aeka's eyes glowed at the prospect.
"Oh, yes, Tenchi-sama, let me introduce you. This is Lady
Hoshukei, one of the leading candidates for the Deportment Chair."
Lady Hoshukei was a large woman of upright carriage and utterly
correct demeanor. She permitted herself a small smile as she
bowed to Tenchi. "Your Highness. If I may permit myself to hope
for your approval?"
Tenchi glanced at Aeka quickly in query. She smiled gently and
shrugged slightly.
"Pleased to meet you," Tenchi responded. "Since you're busy, I'll
see you later, then, Aeka," Tenchi said, smiling. Aeka frowned in
mock disapproval, but tilted her head up, hoping for a kiss on her
cheek. Tenchi obliged. Lady Hoshukei frowned slightly.
Across the stadium floor, an image of Tenchi kissing Aeka flashed
up on a large holographic screen. A scoreboard now flickered to
show '1' for Aeka.
Sasami sashayed shyly over to Tenchi, then posed with her head
tilted up. Tenchi obligingly bent and kissed her forehead.
Across the stadium floor, Sasami's score flickered to match
Aeka's.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi and Alielle were walking along the edge of a pool of water
when Tenchi heard a loud, nearby blast. The body of a large,
quadrupedal guest dressed in a gaudy collar shot past them and
skidded across the floor into the pool. A faint orange tint
quickly became apparent in the water.
Appalled, Tenchi turned just in time to see a masked assassin
beam away. No other party-goers within sight of Tenchi displayed
any reaction.
"Oh, don't worry about it, Tenchi." Alielle, giggling, tugged on
Tenchi's arm to steer him towards the cluster of Galaxy Police
officers. "That was the former Hwynym Tyrant. The assassin was
probably hired by the relatives of one of his millions of victims.
But don't worry; the Tyrant has thousands of fanatical, suicidal
followers all over the galaxy who'll never rest until he's
avenged."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Oh ho ho ho ho ho!"
"Not her," Tenchi muttered under his breath, to no avail.
The scantily-clad, towering former fiancee stood planted firmly in
Tenchi's path, back of hand to mouth. Alielle's grip on Tenchi's
arm tightened as she gasped in glee. Tenchi struggled to remember
this one's name. Nagi? Nahga? Miyama?
"My darling Prince, however have you been?" The lady in question
asked insincerely. "I've missed you _so_ much!" She extended her
arms to enclose Tenchi in a hug, coincidentally crushing Tenchi's
face into the most cushy part of her anatomy. Alielle moaned.
"May I have just a teeny, tiny word with you?" A pair of lips
neared Tenchi's ear, and a sultry voice whispered. "I'd like to
discuss the qualifications of Sir Jiyuutou. I can make it _very_
worth your while."
Tenchi felt the beginnings of panic. He'd have felt it acutely
were he aware of what the screens at the other end of the party
floor were currently showing. Fortunately, he had an easy escape
available to him. With his free arm, he pulled Alielle closer.
The grip loosened almost immediately.
"Oh, have you met my new fiancee? This is Alielle. I think
you'll find she's quite... persistent."
Alielle giggled. Tenchi continued his stroll over to Kiyone and
Mihoshi without further incident.
- - - - - - - - - -
As Kiyone and Mihoshi introduced Tenchi to their ex-colleagues
in the Galaxy Police, most of their watches started beeping in
unison. The two on duty held their watches up to their ears
and listened intently.
"What's up?" asked Kiyone interestedly.
"The Ssslinks have just declared war on the Ambigonians and the
Phryllococans." The officer frowned. "That can't be right;
aren't the Ambigonians and the Phryllococans at war with each
other right now?"
"I think Ambigonians are cute," observed Mihoshi.
"What a mess; that'll bring the Xijhistians into the war too,
since they hate the Ssslinks." Kiyone shook her head sadly.
"And we get stuck in the middle, as usual," replied the on-duty
GP officers, just before beaming up to their ship.
"Oh, Tenchi, let's play Stratfoozle!" exclaimed Mihoshi, pulling
on Tenchi's arm.
"Uh, Mihoshi, Tenchi might not want..." Kiyone said to the empty
space where Mihoshi had just been.
- - - - - - - - - -
Alielle continued her patter to her new 'friend', Nahga, who
struggled to remove Alielle's hands from places into which they
seemed to stray. As the two passed some grazing quadruped aliens,
Alielle smirked and interrupted herself to say, "Of course, I like
Prince Tenchi too. He's so much smarter than he lets on. And his
grasp of galactic intelligence and strategy is quite unparalleled,
even better than his great-grandmother's."
Nahga's eyes widened. She whispered, "Did you get that?" into her
necklace.
At the far end of the floor, one large screen lit up and replayed
Alielle's comment. Due note was taken.
- - - - - - - - - -
Mihoshi happily put the pointed hat on Tenchi's head and the
indented hat on her own, then sat down to put on her slipboots.
Tenchi reluctantly followed suit.
"How does this game work again?" Tenchi asked.
"You try to insert the end of your hat into the hole in mine,"
Mihoshi giggled, then blushed. "It's supposed to be kind of like
sex, but I'm not sure why. And since we're both wearing these
special shoes, it's harder than it looks."
Tenchi was sliding out of control across the game floor when he
bumped into someone who looked familiar to him.
"Oh, uh... Lord Seiryo, right? How have you been?"
The pink-haired fop put one hand on Tenchi's elbow and gradually
slowed Tenchi down. He leaned forward confidingly. "Oh, yes,
Prince Tenchi. I was hoping to run into you. Charming the
way you feign lack of skill on those boots, by the way. Might you
have a moment free to discuss the Deportment question?"
Tenchi scratched his head. "Oh, the board chairmanship, right?"
Seiryo looked faintly disbelieving. "Let me introduce you to
someone. This is Sir Jiyuutou, a man of excellent credentials for
the post. It's the most important appointment the Emperor will
make this year."
With Seiryo's hand on his shoulder, Tenchi was able to stay still
long enough to get a look at Sir Jiyuutou, an older-looking man,
thin, with a gray handlebar moustache and a cheery grin. His
kimono looked as if it did not quite fit him somehow. Sir
Jiyuutou bowed. "Prince Tenchi. An honor. Pleased, you know.
Hope for the best, what?"
Lord Seiryo continued his tirade. "If the wrong person gets the
post... who knows what could happen? People's deportment given
the wrong ratings? Unsound interpretations of the standards?
Sheer chaos would ensue!" Seiryo threw up his hands in horror,
letting go of Tenchi, whose feet promptly slipped out from under
him.
Sitting on the floor, Tenchi sheepishly replied to Lord Seiryo,
"Ah, well, I could use some help on deportment myself, I suppose."
- - - - - - - - - -
At the far end of the floor, two talking heads appeared on large
screens. "Shana, Prince Tenchi's veiled comment clearly implies
that the Royal family is leaning towards Lady Hoshukei, the
leading conservative, for the critical Deportment appointment.
Not even your crazy liberal brain could argue otherwise."
"Jeimes, you're just showing how impervious your hidebound mind is
to new ideas. The Prince was clearly indicating approval for a
looser interpretation of the Protocols of X'iyon. Such a change
has been urgently needed for centuries, and now it's clear that
the Royal family agrees. They'll certainly appoint Sir Jiyuutou."
A display below the two talking heads showed the odds given
by the Empire's leading odds-makers on the appointment. As the
analysis of Tenchi's comment progressed, the odds shifted
visibly towards the conservative candidate. Billions of credits
entered the betting.
- - - - - - - - - -
By himself again, Tenchi wandered around the party. He'd decided
to look for Ryouko, whom he knew would likely be feeling as out-
of-place as he himself did. A short, black-haired girl with
green eyes walked towards him and began to pass him. He glanced
at her face, to see her glancing at his. Their eyes met. She
stopped.
"Oh, Prince Tenchi. What a surprise! I'm very happy to meet
you."
Tenchi stopped and gave a perfunctory bow. This girl is about as
unattractive as any female I've seen here, he thought.
"I understand you and your fiancees are enjoying life on colonial
planet 0315, Prince Tenchi."
Tenchi scratched the back of his head. "Well, we all seem to like
it. Nobody's in any hurry to leave."
The girl smiled conspiratorily and drew closer. "Tell me the
truth: which girl do you like the best?"
Tenchi's forehead grew damp. "Uh, well, you know, depends on my
mood, I guess."
"That Ryouko seems awfully violent to me. Do you like that sort
of woman?"
"She can be. There are times..." Tenchi spotted Ryouko in the
distance. "Oh, there she is right now! I was looking for her;
excuse me, please."
Tenchi dashed off. The girl smiled slyly, then posed herself so
that her face was well-lit.
"This is Sakuya Kumashiro reporting from the Star-Crossed Ball.
You've just heard Prince Tenchi talking candidly about his life
and loves, especially the demon Ryouko. For the next five
minutes, we are conducting a viewer poll: which fiancee is Prince
Tenchi's favorite? Send your votes in now!"
At the far end of the party floor, a new screen lit up. Numbers
for each fiancee mounted rapidly.
"Now we'll take a few callers. Haruna-san from Iikaikou City,
you're on the air."
A voice and holographic face appeared in front of the reporter.
"Sakuya, I just want to say that I think Prince Tenchi ought to
dump that Ryouko creature. The Princesses are lady-like enough
to satisfy any real Juraian prince."
"Well, Haruna-san, remember that Prince Tenchi is only partly of
Juraian descent, and his upbringing was quite provincial. That
might affect his perceptions until he has more experience."
"That's not what _I_ hear; they say he's incredibly brilliant and
very sophisticated underneath that act of his. And someone like
that really has to love the two Princess the most!"
The discussion continued. Around the planet, billions of people
followed events closely.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi caught up with Ryouko over by one of the bars. She saw him
and launched herself through the air to give him a hug. Tenchi
smelled sake on her breath, together with another scent he
couldn't identify. He noticed her face seemed slightly red.
"Tenchi! Let's dance!" Ryouko picked Tenchi up and flew straight
up to the nearest dance floor, this one positioned so that the
dancers' bodies were parallel to the main floor below. Tenchi
looked around at the other occupants.
Torsos, it appeared, were to be arhythmically pulsed; arms were to
be dramatically upthrust at random intervals, while you slowly
lowered your upright torso by bending your bow-legged knees. At
some unseen signal, everyone was to give a short hop in same
direction and shout "Hop like a Iighipshan!" in unison.
Tenchi started to dance. At the first hop, everyone else,
including Ryouko, hopped a different direction than he did.
Ryouko laughingly grabbed his arm and yanked him to where he was
supposed to be. Shortly thereafter, Tenchi discovered that the
bow-legged stance was causing muscles he hadn't realized he owned
to notify him of their presence.
While Tenchi danced with Ryouko, a pair of floating gasbags
drifted overhead conversing. "The Xijhistians declared war on
the Ssslinks? Then what about the Frillokatians? Do you
suppose they will seek to regain the territory they lost last
year to the Rilogue?"
Tenchi felt relieved that he finally knew the answer to something.
He looked 'up' and addressed the gasbags. "Oh, the Phryllococans
are at war with the Ambigonians."
The two floating gasbags turned bright pink and darted off.
Ryouko looked surprised. "Tenchi, where did you hear that? The
Frillokatians and the Ambigonians have been firm allies for
millenia."
Tenchi cocked his head and turned to Ryouko. "Huh? But that's
what the GP said; that the Phryllococans have been at war with the
Ambigonians for the last six months."
Ryouko's confusion cleared up. She smiled and put her cheek next
to Tenchi's, then whispered into his ear. "Oh, Tenchi, you have
the Phryllococans confused with the Frillokatians. They both
hate it when you do that."
Tenchi reddened. Ryouko gave him a tender hug, then resumed
dancing.
- - - - - - - - - -
Kiyone approached another group of GP officers. She noticed
Mihoshi speaking and gesturing animatedly. "...but then, somehow,
just a minute later, the bottle exploded. The hose came loose and
sprayed all over Kiyone's hair, but it missed me completely. Then
the power supply short-circuited and Kiyone's favorite outfit
caught on fire."
The GP officers looked convulsed. Kiyone got a sudden sinking
feeling as she started to realize just which incident Mihoshi was
recounting.
"I didn't like that thing anyway," Mihoshi continued. "The
suction hose was so uncomfortable. It was almost as bad as the
little clips Kiyone tried two nights later. They tickled so much
that I couldn't stop wriggling around. I knocked the clips off
and ended up falling asleep on top of Kiyone."
"So is Kiyone still trying, or has she given up?" gasped a male
officer, trying to catch his breath while laughing.
"Well, for now she's back to nursmphmph.." Mihoshi found her
remark muffled by something. Looking around, she discovered that
it was Kiyone's hand. Kiyone was looking at the other GP officers
with a sheepish expression on her face. More alarmingly, from
Mihoshi's perspective, was that Kiyone's face was very red.
Mihoshi wondered if Kiyone was about to have a heart attack.
- - - - - - - - - -
Above on the dance floor, Ryouko pulled Tenchi into a hug, then
teleported both to a neighboring floor where slow-dance music was
playing. This dance involved a simple embrace and slow, but
intricate, footwork. Ryouko lay her head on Tenchi's shoulder as
they danced, nearby couples making way for them in alarm.
"Are you having fun, Tenchi?" Ryouko whispered into his ear.
"Well, I'm enjoying myself better than Aeka or Kiyone thought I
would."
"Good for you, Tenchi!" Ryouko paused, then whispered, "I'll be
happy to show you even more fun later tonight..."
Tenchi turned his head, looked into Ryouko's eyes, and smiled.
"I'd like that, Ryouko." He lowered his head and kissed
Ryouko's cheek.
Across the room, a '1' appeared next to Ryouko's name. A faint
chorus of "boo!" drifted across the floor.
Ryouko responded by pulling Tenchi into a full, open-mouth kiss
with one hand while the other performed a quick grope further
down.
Across the ballstadium, a giant screen lit up with a close-up
view of this latter action. The '1' flickered and was replaced
by a '2?' A red warning about a possible rules violation popped
up next to the score. Jeimes and Shana started to debate
whether Ryouko's action was legitimate under the current
interpretation of the Deportment rules.
- - - - - - - - - -
In another part of the party, Lady Hoshukei gathered with her
advisors. "Ma'am, this is completely unacceptable. Our backers
are demanding that you act at once. For that Ryouko creature to
take the lead over either of the two Princesses on Jurai itself
will alienate half your following!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Sir Jiyuutou nodded as he listened to his campaign chairperson.
"Sir, this is our chance to stake out a position in the center.
Show the people that there ARE some things you won't tolerate.
The left has nowhere else to throw their support; you have to take
the middle to win."
"Hummph. But the risk? Annoy the Prince. Nice enough fellow."
"Our analysts are quite sure that his statement on Ryouko to the
news concealed a degree of vexation. The risk seems minimal."
Sir Jiyuutou frowned in annoyance. "Fine. Show people. SOME
standards. Take a position."
- - - - - - - - - -
Sakuya Kumashiro paused momentarily as new information became
available on her datafeed. She then smiled to her audience and
spoke. "We're issuing a new question to our viewers! You've
all seen, and many of you have commented on, the egregious
violation of party deportment rules committed by the demon Ryouko.
You've seen the statements by the two leading candidates for the
open Royal Deportment Department position, both comdemning her
behavior! How should she be penalized? Send in your votes now!
Caller number one, you're on the air."
"Throw her out! Expel her from the ball!"
- - - - - - - - - -
A two-headed, three-legged (but otherwise reminding Tenchi very
much of a goat, or maybe a donkey) alien appeared before Tenchi as
Ryouko continued to nuzzle him.
"Most noble Prince of Jurai, this unworthy Ambassador Rzy'har begs
your intercession! We Ambigonians are hard beset indeed!"
Tenchi stared, wondering what he was supposed to do now.
- - - - - - - - - -
Across the room, the votes mounted. Sakuya smirked, nodded, and
approached the dance floor.
From two other directions, Sir Jiyuutou and his entourage, and
Lady Hoshukei and hers, approached the dance floor where Tenchi
and Ryouko stood.
- - - - - - - - - -
"It'sss your own fault, Ambigonian!" the purple-skinned snake-man
announced, pointing his tongue at the Ambigonian. "You broke our
alliance when you treated with the Phryllococans!"
"Never did we!"
"Gentlemen, please," pleaded Tenchi, his hands out. "I'm sure
you can all resolve your difficulties peacefully if you just
try."
"Oh, Prince Tenchi!" called Sakuya Kumashiro airily. Her eyes
crinkled in amusement as she waved one arm. Tenchi broke off
his incipient speech to glance her way. "I have news! The
audience has spoken; the demon Ryouko has been voted out of the
ball!"
"What? Why? What has she done?" Tenchi babbled, confused.
Lady Hoshukei approached and raised one hand. "An unacceptable
violation of the agreed rules of deportment, that's what! An
example to everyone of what's wrong with young people these days!"
Sir Jiyuutou attempted to step around Lady Hoshukei. "Hummph!
Young lady. Must insismmphh..."
"Hakubi Ryouko, I must ask you to leave the ball forthwith,"
announced Lady Hoshukei pleasantly, while her left hand daintily
covered Sir Jiyuutou's mouth.
- - - - - - - - - -
"No, I'm quite sure: the R'yleh are planning a sneak attack on
the Xijhistians! But remember; you didn't hear it from me," said
Alielle to the purple-leaved shrubbery, which nodded and snuck
off.
"Alielle, I don't think this is very nice of you," said Sasami
from behind her. Alielle turned around quickly, mild alarm on her
features. "Sasami! What do you mean?"
"You're trying to start this big war, that's what I mean." Sasami
stood there with her fists on her hips, anger and disappointment
evident on her face.
Alielle temporized, wondering who was really speaking. She began
to get an inkling when she noticed the absence of motion from
everyone and everything else around her.
"Amusing yourself with our dimension?" came Washuu's voice from
behind Alielle.
"Oh... umm, not really," Alielle said meekly. "Just a prank, no
harm done..."
"Alielle," said Sasami sternly, "your sister said to follow us,
not to do anything else."
"We're giving you the required first warning," added Washuu.
Cease your meddling in this or any of our other dimensions,
immediately."
Alielle blanched, then bowed abjectly.
Sasami spoke in a gentler voice. "You don't have to leave; just
behave yourself. You're a guest here."
Alielle withdrew. Washuu moved to stand beside Sasami as the two
turned to look towards the dance floor where Tenchi and Ryouko
stood. "Now we just have to extract Tenchi from that mess with
his dignity intact."
Sasami waved gaily at Tenchi, who was glancing around, blinking,
wondering why everyone else was frozen.
"Tenchi! Do you want me to tell you what to say next?" called
Washuu.
Tenchi's immediate impulse was to eagerly nod yes. He throttled
that as he stopped to think. Slowly, Tenchi walked around Ryouko,
Lady Hoshukei, Sir Jiyuutou, Sakuya Kumashiro, and the two aliens,
hand on chin in thought, studying their frozen positions. He
rapidly reviewed what he'd heard: 'we're the only Royals
present.' 'Any misstatement on your part was a deliberate red
herring.'
"No, thank you, Washuu. I think I know what to say," replied
Tenchi at last.
Washuu smiled and nodded. Sasami beamed in pride. As Tenchi re-
assumed his initial position, time resumed.
"Ryouko will not leave the ball on your say-so," said Tenchi
emphatically, clasping Ryouko's right hand in his left. Ryouko's
incipient anger fled abruptly as she flushed in pleasure.
Turning to Sakuya, Tenchi added, with a hint of a smirk, "The
Royal Family's current favorite for the Deportment chair has ruled
in favor of Ryouko's behavior. Isn't that right, Rzy'har?"
Tens of thousands of jaws dropped.
Tenchi turned to the Ssslink. "What you and the other alien
governments took to be a secret Ambigonian-Phryllococan treaty
was, in actuality, a meeting between Rzy'har and myself to sound
him out on the appointment. Your governments have become alarmed
over nothing at all."
The Ssslink slowly spoke up. "All along... to appoint this
Ambigonian to such an important Juraian post? Then... we will of
course withdraw our fleets immediately! We beg Jurai's pardon!"
The Ssslink bowed and withdrew.
Lady Hoshukei turned purple and speechless, rigid with rage. Sir
Jiyuutou almost guffawed aloud before his advisors pulled him
away.
- - - - - - - - - -
Elsewhere, ensconced on a comfortable sofa, Emperor Azusa, Funaho,
and Misaki were convulsed with laughter. "Appoint... the
Ambigonian! I love it!"
Azusa wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes. "I must hand it
to you, Funaho. Sending Youshou's grandkid was a masterstroke. I
haven't laughed so hard in... centuries, it seems like."
Funaho and Misaki exchanged quick smiles over Azusa's head. "I'm
glad you think so, dear. And now that you're loosened up a
bit, shall we retire?"
- - - - - - - - - -
THE END (for now).
This and other fanfics (including parts 1-9) stored at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5058
One non-obvious inspiration for this installment was the William
Tenn S-F short story, "Lisbon Cubed." Another was the movie with
Peter Sellers, "Being There".
Radical Edward is from "Cowboy Bebop"; Alielle from "El Hazard";
Yume is from the Tenchi manga.
(
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