Ranma 1/2 and Tokyo Babylon

Presenting: Tokyo Babylon 1/2!

Chp.1: New girl, er, boy in town

It was a quiet day in Nerima.

Today, decided Kuno Tatewaki, was the day he proposed to the lovely

Akane. Today was his eighteen birthday and it was time for him to wed

and produce a heir to continue the famous line of Kunos. It was time to

make the sweet Akane his lovely, wedded wife and defeat his bitter enemy

Ranma Saotome for once and for all. He smoothed out his newest hakama,

picked up his faithful bokken and tucked it away. He then

picked up a beautiful bouquet of red roses, arranged by Nerima's finest

florist (No, none of them are poisoned; Kodachi was only too happy to

have

Akane safely married off so that she could have a crack at Ranma).

Then he stood up. "I Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High shall

go forth and make the courageous Akane Tendo my wife! I will vanquish

that hated sorceror, Saotome, whose vile name is not worthy of mention,

and share a heavenly paradise with the fairest and strongest maiden in

Nerima! Tremble at mine feet, Nerima!" Thunder crashed and roared, and

with the utmost confidence, Tatewaki set forth to make Akane Tendo

his wife.

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Ukyou placed the freshly cooked okonomayakis into the delivery box,

then headed out to deliver them. It was rare she got early morning

customers, but since this one promised to pay her extra, she was more

than happy to oblige. Today was Saturday after all, so there was

no need to worry about being late for school. She walked off whistling

cheerfully after

making sure she had ample spatulas on her. One never knew when Tsubasa

might turn up. Plus Ranma and the rest of the gang were always

getting into trouble.

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Ryoga wandered happily down the streets of Nerima. Somehow he'd

managed to wander to the right place, to find his heart's desire, the

adorable

Akane Tendo. And this time, he'd pound Ranma into the ground and win

her devotion forever. And he had just the thing too. In a small antique

shop he'd walked into while looking for a restaurant, the shopkeeper had

sold him a wooden statuette.

//The shop had been a small and dark one, with numerous oddities.

The shopkeeper himself hadn't looked very impressive either, just a

shrunken man who resembled a walking scarecrow with glasses. Ryoga had

been

ready to simply turn around and leave, until the shopkeeper spoke.

"Looking for something for your girlfriend, young man?"

"GGGGGGIrl FRIEND!!!" Ryoga did an excellent imitation of a tomato.

The old man beamed, sensing a weakness.

"Why of course! You're such a handsome young man, and she certainly must

be a truly lovely young lady to capture the heart of someone like you."

"Akane..." Ryoga breathed, already lost in his daydreams of them

together.

The old man plunged on, sensing a potential customer.

"Aah, looking for something special for her? I have just the thing.

Trying to find an engagement ring for her perhaps?"

"Akane..." Ryoga mumbled, shoulders slumping, face shadowed with

depression.

The shopkeeper hastily backpedaled. "Ahhh, trying to win her love? I

have just the thing to impress her. I'm sure if you showed her that she

is the object of your affections she would return your love."

"Akane would?!" Ryoga breathed, eyes asparkle, looking like a hopeful

puppy.

"I'm sure of that!" stated the shopkeeper with more confidence than he

actually felt. "The poor girl is probably pining for a Prince Charming

like you to come sweep her away, get married and live happily

ever after!"

"Akane!" Ryoga wailed.

The shopkeeper sweatdropped. "Errr...well, I have just the thing to

make her fall in love with you! The Statue of Love!"

"Akane..." Ryoga started to bashfully dig a toe into the carpet and

fidget.

The shopkeeper didn't waste any time. He hastily snatched up a statue

and presented it to Ryoga. "This is the famous Statue of Love! Present

it to the girl of your dreams, and she will fall in love with you!" he

proclaimed, the backdrop of Japan's rising sun blazing behind him.

"How?!" Ryoga demanded.

"Simply give her the statue, declare your love, and she will instantly

fall in love with you. But remember, she has to be looking only at you,

otherwise, she'll fall in love with the first person she sees!"

"Akane..." Ryoga sobbed, reaching for his wallet. Unfortunately for the

shopkeeper's nerves, it took several tries before Ryoga managed to

locate it. The shopkeeper handed the statue over and hastily grabbed

the money before Ryoga gave it to the mannequin on the left.

"Have a nice day! Thanks for coming," yelled the shopkeeper. Ryoga

placed the statue

carefully into his pack and set off for Nerima. For some reason though,

he ended up on the peak of Mount Fuji...//

Ryoga didn't really believe it would work, but he was desperate. It

was only now that he was having doubts. What if the shopkeeper had lied

to

him? What if, what if the statue didn't work? "AARGHHHHH!!!" roared

Ryoga, trying to shake off the depressing thoughts. "Tendo Akane! I

Ryoga Hibiki,

swear that I will win your love!"

He took out the statue. He'd been so busy dreaming about Akane and him

together that he'd never really looked at it. It was more of a delicate

figurine, a young girl with gentle eyes and long hair, clad in a

kimono. Funny, he'd never noticed how much she resembled Akane when she

used to

have long hair. He smiled dreamily. "Akane..." he sighed. He didn't

noticed the old woman tossing out a pail of water from the balcony

above.

"OH NO! Bwee! Bweebweeeeeeee!" He dropped the statue and it

rolled away. He only had trotters after all, not human hands.

"BWEE!"

P-chan squealed in horror and gave chase. The old woman looked down,

puzzled. She could have sworn that there was a boy just now. But all

she could see was a little black pig, frantically chasing something. She

shrugged and went back into the house. Time for a nice cup of tea.

_____________________________________________________________

At the Nerima Hotel, a slim boy with emerald green eyes thanked the

sweet old lady at the reception for her help. According to the Guide of

Jusenkyo,

the only other person who had fallen into the Nyannichuan was a martial

artist living in the Tendo Dojo. Subaru hoped he wouldn't get lost.

He had never been in Nerima before, and there seemed to be a lot of odd

streets around. Most streets and alleyways in Tokyo hadn't a pile of

rubble

around it. He hoped that it wouldn't rain. It was so embarrassing to

turn into a...

*Splash*

Subaru sighed and started wringing out her jacket. Today was most

definitely not her day. It was bad enough to be mistaken as a plant by

a short-sighted old lady, but what was worse was that as Subaru looked

about her, she realised that she had no idea how to get back to the

hotel. Much less how she was going to find the Tendo Dojo. This street

had four intersections, the lady had only mentioned two. <Maybe I'll

get lucky>, she thought hopefully, and randomly picked a direction.

Hopefully, she would be able to find the dojo, or the hotel.

_____________________________________________________________

At the Tendo Dojo...

"Uncute Tomboy!"

"RANMA NO BAKA!" *Bonk*

*Plop* Ranma landed in front of the Nekohanten.

"AIREN! NIHAO! Shampoo very happy you come to see her!" *Glomp*

"AAaargh! Shampoo, gerroff...choke...cough..." Ranma flailed his

arms about, trying to breathe.

"RANMA! How dare you molest Shampoo! DIE!!!" yelled a very upset

Mousse.

*THONK* "Stupid duck boy no touch Shampoo's airen!"

Ranma sneaked away while Shampoo pounded Mousse into the ground. "I

might as well go to Ucchan's and get something to eat until that tomboy

cools down," Ranma decided. So he turned round the next corner and

promptly bumped into Kuno Tatewaki, who was carrying a bunch of

roses for his beloved Akane. Of course, the roses got hopelessly

squashed.

"RANMA!!! You will die for this insult! Take that!"

Kuno pulled out his ever-present bokken and unleashed his Blue

Lightning Attack. Ranma who was by now in a bad mood, proceeded to

reduce the bokken into splinters and flatten Kuno Tatewaki. And just to

make sure he didn't get up again any time soon, he walked right over

him and continued on to Ucchan's. "Why me?" he grumbled.

He'd just turned the corner when a mailbox right in front of him

suddenly took off, describing a graceful parabola in the air and aiming

for his head. Ranma, who was now in a VERY bad mood, scrapped the

mailbox-cum-Tsubasa and continued on his way. Then, he stepped on

something that just rolled under his foot.

*Crack* He looked down. A lovely statuette of a girl lay under his foot

in two neat pieces. Looking closely, Ranma was startled to notice the

uncanny resemblance to Akane. <Waitaminute. Statues of Akane don't go

rolling around the streets every day. Conclusion: Somebody dropped it.

Somebody who likes Akane dropped it. The only people in Nerima who

liked Akane and would be carrying a statue and who would no doubt be

VERY

unhappy would be either Kuno or...>

"RANMA!!!! DIE!!!!" howled an enraged Ryouga, who'd managed to get some

hot water on the way. Ranma sighed. "This is just not my day."

______________________________________________________________

A very lost Subaru wandered down the street. Either she simply had no

sense of direction or the streets kept changing. <Wait a minute. Maybe

that street wasn't supposed to be there. Besides, it did look a lot

more like section of the wall was turned to rubble. And I don't think

roads

in Nerima have ponds and drying laundry lining the way. But there are a

lot of streets that look like that after all, so maybe it's some part

of a new decorating scheme. I think.> Sadly, Subaru had never read

Nerima's travel brochure. (Which expressly states under paragraph 1.1

that

property damage is extensive and frequent)

She stopped, nibbling her lip pensively as she looked around her. Then

she heard something that sounded like a moan. <Someone's injured! I

gotta help him!> She dashed around the corner and almost stepped on

Kuno. "Oh my! You poor thing, you've been so badly beaten! I've got to

get you to a doctor!" She hastily pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed

at the worst cut, just over Kuno's eyebrow.

Kuno moaned and tried to focus on a very hazy face. Whoever it was was

murmuring soothing things, in the most musical voice he'd ever heard.

Barring the lovely Akane and the Pig-tailed Goddess of course. Gentle

hands were soothing away aches and pains and when his eyesight finally

recovered, he looked up into his benefactor's face and promptly fried

what little brain cells he had left.

SHE was beautiful. He was in Heaven. In Paradise. The gods had finally

smiled on Kuno Tatewaki and finally granted him an angel in mortal

guise. With hair of pure jet like the the night sky, pools of luminous

emerald that gazed down on him with concern; a sculpted nose and a

delicate rosebud mouth. (He could have gone on for hours, but the

author was getting goosebumps, so threatened to drop him from the story

so

that he FINALLY shut up.)

Subaru started to get worried as her patient simply stared at her, his

eyes glazing over. "Um, are you alright? Sir?" When he didn't answer,

she promptly got more worried. She looked around desperately for a some

place that might have a public phone; he might have a concussion.

<There! A restaurant!> She heaved Kuno to his feet with some

difficulty; he was heavy. She staggered into the restaurant and dumped

him into a

chair. A very cute Chinese girl approached, obviously curious. "Pardon

me, miss. Could I use your telephone? I need to get this man to

hospital. He's been badly injured." Subaru explained. The girl looked

at her curiously, then assessed Kuno's battered body. "Bokken brain here

no need doctor. Shampoo call Kodachi and get her to take away idiot

brother."

Subaru blinked. It wasn't her imagination, was it? The girl

was obviously a Chinese Amazon from Joketzuo. The accent was

unmistakable. She firmly put those thoughts out of her mind as Shampoo

asked her a question. "You new here, eh?"

"Why, yes. I'm actually from Tokyo, and would you by any chance

recognise a person named Saotome, Ranma? I was told he lived in the

Tendo Dojo, but I got lost on the

way. Do you know how I could possibly get there, Miss?"

<Shampoo's mind: Pretty girl. Looking for Shampoo's airen.

Pretty girl + Looking for Ranma = New fiancee trying to steal Shampoo's

lawful husband. = DIE!!!!>

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!"*Crash*

Subaru barely dodged the bon-bori as they whistled down on a collision

path towards her head. The innocent chair splintered as Shampoo pulled

her bon-bori free and attacked. "Die, husband-stealing witch! Shampoo

KILL!!!"

"HEEEELP!!!" Subaru yelped and barely managed to skip aside.

"No, you've got it wrong! I'm not trying to steal anyone's husband! If

you give me some hot water...EEEEP!!!" *Smash*

"Besides, I'm actually a boy... AAAH!" *Smash*

"Shampoo not blind! Look like girl to Shampoo! Girl think Shampoo

stupid! DIE!!!"

"WAAAH!!" *Crash*

Suddenly, black rose petals swirled around the two girls. Maniacal

laughter filled the air. "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! So someone dares to lay

claim to what rightfully belongs to the Black Rose of St. Hebreke's!

Taste my

thorns, foolish upstart!" Lethal black roses hurtled towards Subaru.

She swiftly raised a gloved hand and gestured in an intricate pattern in

the air, forming a shield. The roses smashed into it and were reduced

into

a puff of harmless smoke. Kodachi paused, taken aback. Then she

recovered

and laughed."So, you dare challenge me. Well, today is your very last!

Prepare to die! Bwahahahaha!"

Just when Subaru thought it couldn't get any worse...

*Glomp* "AAAAAAAH!!!" "Oh, lovely angel of mercy, grant bliss to this

poor mortal and marry me!" declared Kuno. He would have gone

on of course, but Shampoo and Kodachi, intent on destroying their rival,

whapped him one on the head. He finally released Subaru and slid down in

a heap.

Subaru, feeling outnumbered, promptly turned tail

and ran. Shampoo and Kodachi instantly gave chase. As she turned the

corner...*GLOMP* "WAAAAAH!!!" Something had attached itself to her

chest like a limpet and was snuggling up to her. "Today's my lucky day!"

crowed Happosai, snuggling in close. Subaru considered bursting into

tears.

*Wham* "You sick pervert! How many times do you have to be told to

leave girls alone!" yelled a furious Ukyou as she peeled her spatula

off a flattened Happosai. She'd just finished her deliveries. Subaru,

ever

polite whatever the circumstances, immediately stopped to thank Ukyou.

She hadn't gotten more than one word out though, before Kodachi and

Shampoo came charging round the corner, with Kuno limping on right

behind them, using his bokken for a crutch. Ukyou decided she'd rather

not take on the both of them. Besides, she hadn't done anything to them

yet. She grabbed Subaru by the arm and quickly ran off. Shampoo and

Kodachi charged after them, trampling Happosai in the process.

"Whatsamatter with them?!" gasped Ukyou. "I'm really sorry," gasped an

apologetic Subaru, "They seem to think I'm...EEEEEK!" A rather battered

mailbox suddenly charged towards them. Ukyou snarled some very

unladylike things about Tsubasa and without missing a beat she swatted

him out of the way. (For our Subaru's peace of mind, this author will

make no attempt to repeat what she said to Tsuabasa.) Worse yet,

Happosai had peeled himself off the street and was now after them. He

wanted very much to get to know the new girl in town better.

"Why me?" lamented Subaru, between pants."What did I do?"

_____________________________________________________________

Elsewhere...

"Why me?!" Ranma groused, deftly evading the bandannas and dodging a

swipe from Ryouga's heavy umbrella. "Can't a guy have a day of peace

and quiet? First that uncute tomboy, then, Shampoo, then Kuno, then

Ryouga.

Man, when I get to Ucchan's, I'm gonna camp there." He lashed out with

a foot and sent Ryouga plowing into a wall, creating yet another hole.

<Oh

well, time to go. Maybe I'll ask Ukyou to make

her okonomiyaki special for me.> He turned around the corner...

*WHAM* "Oh my, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" inquired Subaru, hastily

stepping off him. "Ranma! Am I glad to see you!" Ukyou cried. Before

she could go on any further, Subaru interrupted her. "Are you by any

chance

Ranma Saotome, who fell into Nyannichuan?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"Oh, thank goodness I found you! I'm Subaru Sumeragi from Tokyo and

I've been searching for you!"

<Ukyou's mind: Beautiful stranger from Tokyo + Looking for Ranma = New

fiancee + Rival for Ranma's affection + Ranma has been flirting with

girls behind her back...>

"Ranma, you unfaithful cad, how dare you triple cross me! Eat Spatula!"

*Wham*

"Oooooh..." Ranma now resembled Ukyou's okonomiyaki special.

Alarmed, Subaru immediately knelt beside him and applied a cold

compress to the lump on his head. "Are you okay, Saotome-san?"

Ukyou promptly went up in flames. "How dare you try to steal my

fiancee! Take that!" she yelled and flungs several spatula shurikens at

Subaru. "What?! HELP!!!" The spatula bit into the road, and Ranma

landed a short distance away, carrying Subaru in his arms. "Jeez,

Ucchan, you

can't go around attacking civilians." Now Ukyou got really mad. "Nani?!

So she really is another of your fiancees! You playboy!" Before she

could launch another attack, Shampoo, Kodachi, Kuno, Happosai and

Tsubasa arrived. Just then, another section of the wall fell down.

"Ranma! How dare you be unfaithful to Akane! I'm gonna teach you a

lesson!" Ryouga roared. And as one, the whole bunch pounced on Ranma

and Subaru.

Ranma, still carrying Subaru, spent several frantic minutes dodging a

pair of bonboris, umbrella, bandannas, bokken, poisonous roses, razor

edged ribbon, giant spatula, spatula shurikens, Happosai's bombs and

Tsubasa-the-very-battered-mailbox. Then all paused for a moment as a

familiar voice rang out in a gasp;"Ranma?! Is..is that really you?"

Nodoka whispered, stunned. Ranma froze. He didn't dare turn around. <Oh

no, oh no. I'm dead> he mentally wailed. "Umm, Saotome-san? Are you

okay? You look really awful..." Subaru whispered timidly. Her voice

startled him out of his reverie, and he realised that no one was

attacking him just yet. He promptly jumped up onto the nearest rooftop

and made his escape, carrying Subaru off with him.

The rest snapped out of it too, and yelled threats and imprecations

after the fleeing pair.

"Come back here, you coward!" (Ryouga)

"Return with my bride, foul knave!" (Kuno)

"You pervert! I'm gonna pound ya into pulp, triple-crosser!" (Ukyou)

"Airen! You dare hug other girl in front of Shampoo! Shampoo will do

violent things to you and girl!" (Shampoo)

"Hah! Don't think you can escape me, my future husband. I will slay

that upstart and wed you! AHAHAHAH!!!" (Kodachi)

"Come back here, you thief! That cute girl belongs to me!" (Happosai)

Nodoka would have liked to question them whether the boy was Ranma, but

they had all gone after him. Well, if that was her son, she needn't

worry so much, she decided, hefting the katana. He obviously had good

taste, from the glimpse she had managed to catch of the girl and was

obviously manly if was going around seducing such innocent girls. She

smiled, feeling somewhat comforted and continued on her way to the

Tendo Dojo. After all, if Ranma was around, Genma definitely was close

by.

She had a lot of questions to ask him. Especially why he hadn't brought

Ranma back to see her. Without even thinking, she tightened her grip on

the katana. He most definitely had a lot to answer for.

End of part 1

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Author's notes:

Yay! The new and revised part 1!

Please feel free to comment and criticise, and point out any mistakes I

may have made. E-mail me privately please...Plus, any more suggestions

on how to further torture Ranma and Subaru? <Evil Laughter> They are

just so kawaiiiiii....

Special thanks especially to Jenni Ding, Meliza B. Vera, Lee, Derry and

Teifi Kim for your comments and for proof-reading this baby for me. Your

help and contributions were invaluable.

Also:

Jenni asked me about Shampoo's unusual speech style. The only thing I

can say in my defense is that I've read too many Ranma fanfics that tend

to portray Shampoo as a brainless Chinese Amazon; her poor Jap is one

such indication of the "more brawn than brains" stereotype. I adopted

the speech pattern because I found it rather cute, and somehow it fits

in this weird fic. Apologies to Shampoo fans; and for those taking up

bon-boris out there, I claim artistic license.

Meliza pointed out that the names for the Ranma 1/2 cast are usually the

other way round; ie. Akane Tendo instead of Tendo, Akane. I have bowed

to superior wisdom and obediently switched them round. (Besides, Akane

Tendo sounds better this way. ^-^ ) So if anyone wants to get technical,

please don't look at me; I know nuts about this sort of stuff. Go argue

it out with someone else. Also, I will ensure Subaru never eats Akane's

cooking. I love him too much to do that to him. ^-^

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