Confession

by Lord Archive

This is a dark story.

Characters belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Communication, and
some other companies. Used without permission. I'll return them,
I can only stand to be hit by a mallet so many times.
*>WHAM<* "Archive no baka!"
Ite!

-----------------------------

 Ranma 
sighed.  He glanced at his 
strangely withdrawn fiancee.  

Akane was lost in thought as she trudged up the mountain along side
her fiance. She knew very well what her father hoped they do during
this trip, but she really doubted she could go through with THAT. 
She knew of an obstacle that existed between her and being that 
close to Ranma, that Ranma didn't know. She sighed, realizing it's 
was about time he did know. Alone in the woods would be the best 
place to tell him... She hoped.

They found a good place to set up camp. Much to Ranma's surprise, and 
complete lack of hiding his elation, Akane didn't protest against him 
cooking dinner. More surprisingly she didn't get upset once. They sat 
through a silent dinner.

Ranma may not be the most observant person, but he did notice 
something was bothering Akane. "Hey, what have ya done with Akane?"

"What was that?" Akane asked, confused.

"Well, you haven't been yourself since we left, and I'm starting to 
wonder if you are Akane," Ranma replied with a slight smirk.

Akane's lips twitched slightly, whether from amusement or anger, Ranma 
couldn't tell. She then sighed, saying, "Ranma, there is something I
need to tell you. I probably should've told you this a long time ago,
but this is something I don't want anyone to know. I REALLY don't want
to tell you, but it's something you have to know."

Ranma became nervous, unsure of what Akane had to tell him, but also 
didn't want to. "Akane, if ya don't want to..."

"Ranma, please. You have to know this. If there is any hope for us to 
truly be married, you have to know."

Ranma audible gulped.

Akane looked away from Ranma, as if afraid to make eye contact now. 
"Have you ever wondered why I'm so violent, daddy is so emotional, 
Nabiki so mercenary, and Kasumi so withdrawn?"

"Um, yeah," Ranma replied, not sure if he should say more.

"You probably think it's because of my mother's death, right?" Akane 
did not look to see his answer. "That is part of the reason, but 
that's not entirely the reason. Something else happened shortly after 
mom died..."

Akane closed her eyes tightly as she began to tell Ranma with a 
shaking voice and a couple tears running down her face.

"I was almost thirteen when my mother died. At the time daddy 
practically moved into the dojo trying to find release from his pain 
in the art. Kasumi took mother's place, because no one else was 
available. Nabiki stayed in her room and cried. I, however, went 
everywhere that I had the fondest memories of my mother. That proved 
to be the biggest mistake of my life.

"About a week after mom died, I went to the small park a block away 
from home. Mom took me there almost weekly while I was growing up. I 
sat in the my favorite swing, and cried. All I wanted at that moment 
was to feel my mother's gentle hand's push me in the swing like she 
had done so many time before. But, as much as I wished it, I knew she 
would never be able to push me in that swing again.

"It wasn't until I noticed the street lights turning on that I 
realized how late it was. I knew I had to rush home for dinner, not 
because I was hungry but because I didn't want anyone to worry. So I 
left the park for home..."

Akane's voice suddenly cracked. "I only made it half-way there... I 
was stopped by two guys. They had to be no older sixteen or seventeen 
at the time. They asked why I was in such a hurry, why I was out so 
late... and asked if I wanted their company that night."

Akane's tears streamed down her face, and her voice was registering on 
the Richter scale. "Of course all I wanted was to go home. But-but... 
they... grabbed me and... carried me..."  "...And when they brought me to a deserted house 
that was for sale... they r-ripped off my c-cloths and... r-r-raped 
me."

Akane could no longer say anything more through her tears. Minutes 
later she realized she'd been crying into female Ranma's shoulder, and 
that Ranma was hugging her. "R-Ranma?"

Ranma wasn't sure what to say. "Are you okay now, Akane?"

"Um, I guess. How come you're a girl? I thought you'd react 
differently than this." Akane didn't move from Ranma's embrace.

Ranma took a deep breath. "Well, after what you just said, I thought 
that you might not want to be touched by a guy at the moment... and 
Dr. Tofu already told me about what happened."

"What?!" Akane screamed in shock. "How could he? He's a doctor! He's 
not suppose to tell anyone about that!!"

"Akane, he told me because I'm your fiance. He thought it'd put us at 
greater risk if he didn't tell me. If I tried to seduce you, you 
might've tried to kill me and it would've killed any chances of us 
getting married. He told me that any, ah, intimacies should be 
started by you."

Akane pulled away from Ranma, looking rather upset. "Why didn't you 
stop me from telling you this if you already knew?!"

"Because Dr. Tofu said that you needed to talk to someone about it, 
but the problem was you had to be the one to start talking about it. 
How many times have you talked about it since it happened?"

Akane looked rather sheepishly for a moment. "Um, once... to the 
police officers and Dr. Tofu. I never even told my family about it, 
Dr. Tofu did. I never felt comfortable enough around anyone in my 
family to talk about it to them. I considered Dr. Tofu, but with the 
crush I had on him before it happened and how helpful he was 
afterwards, I couldn't bring myself to talk about that to him... to 
remind him I was no longer pure and innocent."

"How come you never talked to your family about it?"

"After it happened, I went into the dojo determined that no guy would 
ever touch me again. Dad tried to teach me, but he couldn't bear to 
look at me. He went into his room and started to emotionally break 
down. I thought for a while it was because he was ashamed of me, that 
he didn't love me anymore. I later found out that while he was 
ashamed, he wasn't ashamed of me, but himself since he didn't protect 
me and about losing my mother.

"Kasumi couldn't believe the world could hold such things as parents 
dying on young children and rapist, so she began her slide into 
obviousness. One of the reasons I've been so angry with you was 
because with your curse and all the insanity that happened around you, 
it strengthen her retreat from seeing the world as it is.

"Nabiki also looked at the injustice of it all, and went the other 
route. Do onto others before they do it to you. If the world wasn't 
going to be kind to her and her family, she saw no need to be kind to 
the world."

"I've kinda figured that," Ranma said calmly.

Akane nodded. "Then there was my reaction. I was angry. Angry at the 
world, and angry at myself. How could that happen to me, to anyone?! 
I'm the daughter of a great martial artist, I've should've been able 
to defend myself! But it did happen to me, and I never really come to 
terms with it. The only reason I'm even facing it now, is because of 
you. I doubt I'll graduate high school as Tendo Akane, and if we do 
get married I will have to do something that I've associated with the 
worst part of my life."

"Akane, you never HAVE to do THAT if you don't want to."

Akane shook her head. "Trust me, it is something I want to do... 
eventually. It's just I'm afraid that it'll disgust me like it had 
then. Besides, what good is being married if you don't, ah, consummate 
it."

"Um, how come you wanted to marry me when we got back from China?"

Akane sighed. "I was still recovering from what happened in China. I 
nearly died, and it scared me. I realized either of us could die at 
any time. I didn't want to take the chance of losing you, so I went 
along with daddy's plan. Because I knew you love me, and don't you 
dare deny it, I would've married you in every way... Even if I would 
be uncomfortable about some of it."

Ranma smiled a little. "Well, part of the reason I denied it then was 
because I was afraid you weren't ready."

"Oh? What was the rest of the reason?"

Ranma laughed nervously. "Well, I guess you could say cold feet. 
Anyway, how come you never talked about it to a friend?"

"I did think of telling Sayuri and Yuka, but I doubt they would've 
understood. We were twelve at the time. How are they suppose to have a 
clue what I was going through. Hell, most adults don't have a clue
about what I went through. Being raped is a violation that words can
NOT describe. The sheer lack of control, lack of..."

"...Justice, complete wrongness, the tearing of your soul, how you 
feel somehow worthless," Ranma interrupted Akane and continued on.

Akane's eyes widen in shock. "Y-you w-were..."

Ranma turned her head not wanting to look at Akane at that moment. 
"No. I'm actually referring to what I feel sometimes about my curse. 
It robs me of control of my life. It's a terrible punishment onto me 
for a crime of just being somewhere I shouldn't have been. There are 
times I turn into a girl and feel a piece of me has died."

"I-I never thought about your curse that way." Akane looked down at
the ground. "I'm sorry. I should've known better than anyone what 
you were going through, but I refused to think about your problems...
just mine." Her tears increased in volume as they rolled down her 
cheeks.

"Akane, it's all right. Dr. Tofu explained it all to me. He was the 
one that compared my curse to being raped. And, while I was somewhat 
willing to face my curse,  you weren't 
willing to face your past. I've largely come to terms with what I am 
now, and can help you face your past."

Akane smiled. "Thank you, Ranma." She wanted to say more, but words 
seemed inaccurate for what she wanted to say.

"It's getting late. We should get some sleep." Ranma wiped a couple 
tears from Akane's face. "Are you going to be all right?"

Akane nodded. "Yes. I think so." She then decided on something she 
thought about on the way there. "Um, Ranma, while I may not be, um, 
ready to make love to you yet, I was thinking..."

"What is it?"

"Well, could we, um, sleep sort of together? If I get use to your 
presence, it should help me be ready sooner."

Ranma looked at Akane and, after a long moment, answered, "If it's 
what you."

Ranma turned back into a guy and went into the same tent Akane did. 
After joining their sleeping bags, they crawled into bed. Shortly 
after falling saying their goodnights, Akane fell asleep.

Hours later Ranma was still awake and was surprised to note that Akane 
seemed to be at peace, and wasn't thrashing around at night like he's 
seen her do in the past. He stared at Akane, unable to find sleep. 

There was always something about Akane that made Ranma nervous. Not 
the same nervousness that Shampoo generated, which was more of fear, 
but more of uncertainty. Uncertain of how he felt about the girl 
asleep in his arms. He wondered why he put up with her, with her 
anger, and with the fact she wasn't 'pure.' He could only come up 
with one answer. "I guess I do love you," Ranma whispered, and it 
somehow sounded right. He fell asleep shortly afterwards.

-----------------------

Author's Notes:

Something feels missing in this. If you have any suggestions let me 
know.

I didn't do a flash back scene for what happened because Akane was 
only go over what happened- she didn't give details. She didn't 
relive the moments in her memory, she just told them.


The idea came from reading a story that it was Kasumi that was raped 
as a child and told Ranma about it. The first thought I had about it 
was that it was plausible. The second thought is that if it happened 
to anyone in Ranma, it would be Akane. There is even canonical 
evidence to support it:

In manga vol 10 (11 in Japanese) Shampoo's mushroom story: 
After Kasumi implied Ranma might try to seduce Akane, her watching a 
movie with an implied date rape scene, and Ranma hugging her- Akane 
tried pound Ranma into paste with a mallet and a bokken and to turn 
him into a pin cushion with a bow and arrows (a bit excessive if you 
ask me).

Numerous other times Akane overreacts to Ranma appearing overly 
amorous. Such as Ranma sneaking into her room to deal with P-Chan.

The real reason why Akane hates boys, with only Dr. Tofu as the 
exception when Ranma arrives.

Why Soun still tried to get Ranma to marry Akane, even after finding 
out Ranma has no honor due to multiple engagements (among other 
things). 

Why does she trust Ryoga? Because besides trying to kill Ranma, he's
always tried to protect her and has not tried to make a move on her
of his own accord. (That's Akane's POV not the readers'.)

Why did she consider falling in love with Shinnosuke? Because it was
her fault he was dying. The shame of being responsible for someone's
death out-weighed the shame of being raped.

Why would Ranma seem to know?
Akane initiated the kissing challenge after Mikado kissed Ranma.
Akane kissed Ranma through the duck tape in Romeo and Juliet.
Ranma only offered to Akane to hold his hand in Ryugenzawa, she didn't 
	have to.
Attempted grope in volume 34 was because Akane dragged him into a 
	closet- he didn't know Akane was hiding him from his mother.
That he seems to have zero sex drive most of the time.

How to use the one case that can go against it: The attempted 
seduction in volume 32- Battle Douji. Ranma was more intent or getting 
rid of the douji, and probably forgot about that he wasn't suppose to 
seduce Akane. This adds credibility to why Akane was ready to kill 
Ranma when she found out he had tried to have sex with her for just to 
get rid of 'do-chan.'

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/fuji/9061/miscel